We Both Dream
I stand beside a medium sized white bookshelf near the open window of the living room. I look at a small silver picture frame in the bookshelf. It is a photo of Mallory riding her new pink bicycle. She wears white sleeveless top, purple leggings and pink slippers. And her black hair is neatly pulled on a ponytail with some baby bangs falling on her forehead. As she genuinely smiles for the camera, she shows two of her missing teeth at the upper front of her mouth. She was 4 years old when the photo was taken. And it is the first time she learns how to ride a bicycle. I smiled and pick a book from the bookshelf. I hold a book and a cup of tea with both hands.
I sit on the big brown couch which is pretty old. Obviously the leather of the couch is not in a good condition. You will see that the coffee brown leather of the couch is nearly torn out. And there are some white cracks coming out from the surface of the couch. And you bet, it is the only couch we have for a family of two plus a dog. This couch is older than Mallory, maybe four or five years older than her. I know I should replace it with new couch when I get extra money. Extra money, I thought, everybody’s dream is to win the lottery. And winning the lottery is only an imagination for me.
I hold a book, The Time Traveler’s Wife. The cover of the book shows a girl wearing black knee length dress and black school shoes with long white socks. And beside the girl is what looks like a red picnic cloth, with neatly folded man’s clothes and shoes on top of it.
I read through 269 pages of the book. I have watched the movie like years ago, and I honestly think movies often tell the story a little differently as compared to the book version. Just like Nicholas Sparks, A Walk to Remember, the story is somehow dissimilar as compared to Mandy Moore’s movie version of the book.
I look at the cover of the book again, Time Traveler's Wife. Just what if one can leap through time? I watch how the smoke which comes from the cup of tea floats into the air. What if time brings me back years ago before I had Mallory? I am sure I don’t want to not have her, even when she is naughty and needy most of the time. I blow the thin white smoke which comes from the cup. Or what if I can fast forward to see what kind of life there will be for us? I wish we’ll be rich in the future. I deeply exhaled, I honestly know that an eight hour job cannot make me rich. And it’s sad.
I drink from the cup, the tea tastes like burnt leaves with a funny earthly smell. Maybe now it is not perfect but it’s fine, at least we are fine. I am thankful that I still have a job despite the pandemic.
And the most important thing is that Mallory and I are healthy. I wonder when this pandemic will ever end? I pray this pandemic will end soon, people have suffered too much already.I exhaled deeply and reached for the remote control. I turn on the television. ‘The public are warned against the spread of Corona Virus also known as Covid 19.’ ‘Due to the Covid 19 pandemic lockdown has been implemented in numerous countries and territories worldwide.’ ‘As of now there is no known medicine against Covid 19.’
said the news anchor.I came to realize how my life hasn’t really changed with the pandemic. Am I really that anti social?
March 16, 2020, President Rodrigo Duterte: “I have come to the conclusion that stricter measures are necessary. For this reason, pursuant to my powers as President under the Constitution and RA 11332 (Law on Reporting of Communicable Diseases), I am placing the entire mainland of Luzon under quarantine until April 12, 2020.”
I hold a tray of food, looking for a table where we can have a good view of the television. The pantry is almost empty anyway with less people showing up in the office because of the fear from Coronavirus. ‘We can sit here.’ I said to Peter, my co-worker and best friend who is more introvert than I am. He is my best friend and we don’t talk that much. Peter either follows what I say or ignores me, and most often he ignores me, but this time he follows me. He wears blue tattered jeans and a brown sweatshirt. He is about 5’3 feet tall with fair skin tone and there are some freckles on both his cheeks.
I put down my plate on the table. My plate contains half a cup of rice, roast chicken and some vegetables on the side.
‘What happened to your favorite spot beside the window?’ he said looking in the other direction. ‘Sit,’ I said. `We have to watch the news, they might send us home early today.’ He sits beside me as he breaks my chicken into pieces and puts some into his mouth. He continues to chew as he hides some of his black hair behind his ears.
‘Want some pork?’
‘I’ll take som,’ I said. ‘Did he said until April 12?’
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘Adios, and see you on April 12.’
‘That’s more than 3 weeks,’
‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘So plan ahead what you want to do.’
‘What about you?’
‘Chill and drink,’ he said. ‘I will renovate our house.’
‘That’s so you.’
‘What about you any plan?’
‘Maybe more quality time with Mallory.’
‘That’s just right.’
I stand with the crowd waiting for the traffic light to change. I watch the number of vehicles passing by. 6:00pm, the traffic already looks heavy with numbers of cars and motorcycles on the road.
There is a green bus passing in our direction. I notice how the bus is overloaded with passengers that some people even remain standing inside the bus.
I observe a number of people waiting on the other side of the road. People here, people there and people everywhere, all wearing face-masks. And it is something new to see everybody wearing face masks since it is not Japan or Korea. The temperature here is so warm that you may not want to cover your nose and mouth. And yes, Covid 19 is what everybody didn’t see coming in a very hot country like the Philippines. When Covid 19 spread in China, I wrongly judged that the virus would not survive in countries with hot temperatures. And that is very wrong because the virus threatens us now.
28 seconds before the traffic light turns to green. I can almost imagine as soon as 28 seconds is over a big pack of zombies are waiting to take over the city. Crazy, indeed. 27days of quarantine, I need to store some food and other basic needs. The traffic light changes color and we cross the pedestrian line. Yeah, that’s right I need to drop by the grocery store.
**The entire Luzon was placed in Enhanced Community quarantine from March 16 to April 12, 2020.
‘Earphone,’ he said and I plugged a piece of the bluetooth earphone to his right ear, while I got to use the other pair.
‘Spotify,’ I said. ‘What would you like me to play this time?’
‘What else do I like to listen to?’
‘Kings of Leon?’
‘Of course,’ he said.
During our 8 hour shift we both will listen to his favorite band, Kings of Leon. And that made me fall in love with their songs too.
‘Hey would you like to eat later before going home?’
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘What you got?’
‘Bread,’ he said. ‘We can share some croissants.’
‘That’s nice,’ I said. ‘I have here fresh milk we can share too.’
14th February 2020, 7:20 PM most people left the office. I sit next to Peter as we share some food. ‘Here take this,’ he said as he pulled two pieces of bread inside a small brown paper bag. I pierced the tetra pack of milk using a straw. I sipped a little and handed him the milk. He drank from the same straw I used and continued to chew his food.
I purposely looked at his jacket while I chewed food. His brown jacket has a hole at the end of the sleeve where his thumb would like to pop out. I just couldn’t tell him the air conditioner makes me shiver with cold.
‘Why are you looking at my favorite jacket?’
‘Nothing,’
‘Okay,’
‘Ask me again?’ I said looking at the jacket he was wearing while I rubbed my hands against my arms. ‘Can I borrow your jacket?’
‘No,’ he said and laughed. ‘Wait for me here.’
I watched him hurried to his locker and he quickly returned with an extra t-shirt. ‘Here, put this on top of your shirt.’
‘Thanks,’ I said. ‘One more thing,’
‘What?’
‘I forgot my lip balm at home, the air conditioner makes my lips dry,’ I said. ‘I need to borrow yours.’
He handed me a green ChapStick while he pouted his lips at me and laughed.
We walked quietly side by side outside the office building. We didn’t say much. A simple walk enjoying this comfortable silence on a cold February night.
The End
By Kings of Leon
Running with the street lights
Laughing at the graveHe swears he's gonna give it upIt's never gonna be enoughI just wanna be there
When you're all aloneThinking about a better dayWhen you had it in your bonesThis could be the end
This could be the endThis could be the endThis could be the endI see you in the evening
Sitting on your throneYou're playing with a fireballAnd post it up against the wallI just wanna hold you
Take you by your handAnd tell you that you're good enoughAnd tell you that it's gonna be toughThis could be the end
This could be the endThis could be the endThis could be the end'Cause I ain't got a home
Running from the streetlights
Shining on her graveOnce you had the good stuffNever gonna fill you upI wanna be the one who
Gives them my worldAnd gives them all the feeling of itJust a little taste of itThis could be the end
This could be the endThis could be the endThis could be the end'Cause I ain't got a homeI'll forever roamNo, I ain't got a homeI'll forever roam'Cause I ain't got a homeI'll forever roamNo, I ain't got a homeI'll forever roamI ain't got a homeI turn off the television and make my way to the bedroom. The walls and ceilings of the bedroom are all painted white. And the floor is covered with light brown wood. I lay on the bed covered in light blue sheets. I lay with five pillows in total plus Mallory’s big brown stuffed animal, and which she calls Bear-Bear.I pull out my mobile phone and play a song on Spotify,All I have To Do is Dream, because lately I have been dreaming. My dreams are not bad though, but somewhat weird.‘Dream, dream, dream’ ‘When I want you in my arms.’I look at the open window in one corner of the room.And I remember I had this dream about a man who sits beside me. In my dream he gives me small yellow flowers together with a letter. I was reading his letter when the dream came to an end. And when I woke up I could not remember what I read from his letter. Strange dream, perhaps.I watc
What’s Your Name?I stuck Mallory into the bed and switched off the light. ‘What about the moon mama?’ she said and pointed to her yellow crescent moon lamp on top of the study table near the bed. ‘Sure baby,’ I turn on the moon nursery light. ‘Stop calling me baby,’ she said. ‘I am not a baby anymore, Mama.’The pale yellow light which comes from the moon lamp makes me see Mallory’s face in the dark room.She has small eyes with bigger and darker eyeballs, similar to a doll. Her face is round and a little chubby. And she has a flat nose and thin pink pair of lips.‘Close your eyes pretty Mallory, I’ll tell you a story.’ I said and lightly pinch her small nose.‘Once upon a time there were two children named Hansel and Gretel. Their stepmother abandoned them in the forest. But Hansel is a smart kid, he dr
The Yellow lightI watch them both sleep. The little girl wrapped her one arm and leg on her mother’s body. It looks satisfying seeing them both hugging each other. It is like they are full of love, very simple and pure, a priceless moment for a mother and her child.I observed how the little girl sleeps with her tiny mouth open. She has chubby cheeks and a rounded face. Her uncombed hair messily spread on the pillow. Where is your father?And then I look at her mother. As she sleeps on the side I can see half of her face. I admired thesymmetryof her face. She has a sharp nose, defined jaw line and a small chin. I am curious why a beautiful woman like her stays by herself.‘What’s your story?’ I watched her peacefully sleep and wondered if she is dreaming, and if so, is she dreaming of me? Because I am right here beside her.I caught a glimpse
I Am Eric Marcus‘What is your name?’The dream ends.Whenever my dream about him ends, I feel a little sting of pain in my chest.I can only wonder why?I can tolerate the pain and it’s no big deal.However there is an emptiness thatI can’t describe and itlingers within me.And no matter how much I try to ignore it, I can never win. This kind of loneliness follows me and makes me reach out my hand to something that is not there.The alarm on my mobile phone went on.I quickly search for my mobile phone under my pillow. The persistent high pitch sound of the alarm truly annoys me in the morning. I found my mobile phone under my pillow, and quickly dismissed the alarm. It says 6:30 AM. I don’t want to wake up, not just yet. I have this huge desire to lie down still on this soft bed. But sadly I have to leave the bed
8:00 Am, my laptop is ready and beside it is placed a tablet I use to watch randomvideos from YouTube and Netflix. I am composing an email for a client and then a message appeared on my chat box, I opened it and replied;Catherine: Hey girl, it’s crazy we just had an earthquake.Irina: Oh be careful, especially since you live near Tagaytay.Catherine: Taal volcano please calm down.Irina: Let’s check google, oh it says here alert level number one.Catherine: Hopefully it won't eruptand no ash will fallagain please.Irina: Yes please no ash falls, it’s very hard to clean the roof.Catherine: You’re right, cleaning the roof is one of the hardest parts of ash fall.Irina: But seriously, keep safe, you and your family.Catherine: Stay safe too, to you and Mallory.I drink from a cup of coffee placed near my laptop. The coffee has already turned cold. And when all I
I Know NowMy name is Irina.The dream ends.I open my eyes and find myself standing alone in an empty room. The ceilings and the walls are neatly painted white. And the floor is composed of polished light brown wood. There is a dark brown framed window at one corner where the light is coming from. I observed how the yellow orange light made its way through the open window. I stand there in one corner of the room captivated by the yellow light. The light was so bright that it nearly blinded my eyes.I close my eyes and a scene plays on my mind. I see myself thrown on the ground with my bicycle. A bright yellow light from the car hits me, right there. I see a red car in front of me.I open my eyes and stare at the sunlight passing through the window of the bedroom. Did I just remember it right? I was hit by a car that day. And the last thing that I saw not so far is a
Time Travel‘Irina!’He sits beside me and gives me a small red heart shapedcan. I open it and find a gold necklace inside. And then he hands me little yellow flowers together with a letter. I opened the letter and that is when I heard someone call my name so loud; Irina!Tonight I am awake in a dream again. I fall asleep and fly again. I freely float in one corner of the ceiling. I watch how I sleep with Mallory beside me. And there is this man who sits on my bed. This time I see his faceclearly. And yes I know that face, and I also have the name, Eric Marcus.Eric, did you just call my name?Whenever I dream of him, everything seems real. I watch him move closer to me while I sleep on the bed. He whispers something into my ear. I heard him say; ‘Please don't look for me.’I woke up and almost missed the alarm clock. It is just a bad drea
The Time Traveler I was staring at his profile photo on F******k when I heard a loud slam of the door from the living room. I quickly make it to the living room to check but I only see a closed door. Maybe it is nothing. I grab the door knob and slowly open the door. I step barefoot on the grass which covers the floor of the front yard. Chi-Chan runs with excitement when he sees me. He raises his two legs and tries to reach me. And then he bites my hand, but it does not hurt. ‘Hello Chi-chan,’ I said and embraced the dog. ‘Would you like to sleep with us tonight?’ I added. ‘Oh you like it.’ I run my left hand on Chi-Chan’s fur, and they are very soft to touch. He has white and black thick fur that covers his entire body. And his fur feels soft and smooth better than any stuffed toy. I walked closer to the huge tree planted near the gate. Below the tree there is a single swing where Mallory loves
‘Fuck,’ The ceilings and the walls are neatly painted white. And the floor is composed of polished light brown wood. And there is a dark brown framed window at one corner where the light comes from. A bright yellow and pale red orange light tells me the sun is setting and soon it will be dark.I look around me, I don’t recognize this place. Maybe I should start to explore the house. I can hear my footsteps on the wooden floor. It sounds like a heavy knock on a door. Where is everybody? Why is no one home? A big brown couch welcomes me in the living room. The old couch is nearly worn out, where the white cracks are visible on the surface of the leather. I wonder how old the couch is. I sit on this only couch in the living room and observe my surroundings.A medium sized white bookshelf stands on the left side corner beside the window. A few books and small toys are placed in the bookshelf. Name it; fiction novels come in all sizes and children story books, and collectible toys from
Continuation of Chapter 48:***We walked hand in hand on the school campus with red strings around both our wrist. She was wearing a navy-blue skirt and a white polo with blue tie. Her straight long black hair falls perfectly on her back.We both know that neither of us would like to travel time again.***I sat beside her on the blue bench outside our senior classroom. She wears a light green crop top blouse, light blue mini skirt and white rubber shoes. Her hair was cut short with bangs covering her forehead. And she was carrying a rose-pink backpack. Irina after so many years still looks very high school, she looks like a teenager, never growing old. I was watching her still and imagined her wearing the old white polo with a blue tie and navy-blue skirt. In my mind her black straight hair grew longer down to her waist.‘Irina, if we ever travel time again, and see me here sitting on this bench,’ I said. ‘Please come to me and tell me everything.’‘What if we traveled time but we
The Red StringI was still holding on to the wheel with the red string still around my wrist, when I noticed another Irina came closer to the car and look at me from the outside.Impossible as it may appear, this is the first of many times I was able to travel back and forth through different timelines and alternate realities. And I know Irina is also doing the same, time traveling.She opened the other door and sat beside me in the car. We both were looking at the crowd forming a circle at the pedestrian line, where my other self was a victim of a car accident.And then I heard voices from the crowd; ‘Today is the deadline of the project,’ said a girl in school uniform from a distance. ‘5:00 PM sharp, guidance office,’ added another girl beside her. They are both wearing white polo and navy-blue skirts.And out of the blue, three boys came running and laughing in front of us, they were also wearing high school uniforms.I noticed in front of us were high school students crowding the
Continuation of Chapter 46:***I opened the door to the patient’s bedroom. I saw the doctor covered her body and face with white sheet. The last thing I saw is her beautiful face before the white sheet fell into her. Irina is covered in white sheet from head to toe. The nurses assisted me outside the room and didn’t let me come near her.‘Irina!’ I screamed and fought my way inside the patient’s room. I threw out the white cloth from her face and embraced her. Her body feels tight and heavy. My hand touched her cold skin, and from that moment I knew life was taken out from her.‘No!’ I cried loudly. ‘Irina!’I was holding to her wrist as the nurses took her body away. I was left in the room alone with her red string bracelet on my hand.***Eric: ‘Whenever you post a picture on Facebook, I am always looking out on you wearing the red string.’Irina: ‘I will always have it on me,’ she said. ‘One day if we get separated, and you see me still wearing the red string, it means I love you
The Red String‘Grandma, how did I die?’‘The valve of your artery thickens,’ she said. ‘It prevents your heart from pumping blood.’‘We both have heart disease, I see,’ I said. ‘Mama said you were writing something in your diary.’‘I was writing a story,’‘Can I read it someday in the past?’‘You write your own,’ she said. ‘Somewhere in the future Mallory will read your story.’There was a long silence between us, as we sit at the kitchen table looking at the small, opened window.‘If I can talk to God,’ I said. ‘Like He and I really talking,’ I added. ‘I would ask him why I wasn’t meant to be happy.’I watched her feet lifted from the ground. Her white kimono aesthetically flows as the wind blows strong behind her. Her long black hair spreads faultless as the wind carried on. She took out the red satin belt around her waist, and it magically turned into a red string. And there was a very bright light which almost blinded me, when the light disappeared so as grandmother.I found myse
Continuation Chapter 45:***‘No, no, no,’ I cried. ‘Grandma, please tell me I’m not dying.’‘Somewhere in the time realm you die peacefully in your sleep,’‘No, no, no,’ I cried. ‘Grandma, please Mallory needs me,’‘Figure out for yourself, Irina,’‘How did I die?’‘Have you listened to your mother?’‘Heart disease,’ she answered. ‘Your grandmother has coronary heart disease,’ she added. ‘Doctor said, the walls of her heart thickened until it blocked the flow of the blood to her heart which caused her heart to stop beating,’ she explained. ‘And so, she died.’5:20 PM, I woke up. I went to my table outside the bedroom. I opened the window and went downstairs to the kitchen. From the green thermos I pour the hot water containing lemon and ginger on a mug. And then I took out a plate of some melon slices from the fridge. I went back to my table and opened my laptop and continued with my novel again.Eric: ‘How are you?’Irina: ‘I’m okay,’Eric: ‘Get well soon.’Irina: ‘Copy that,’Eric
High SchoolI sat beside her on the blue bench outside our senior classroom. She wears a light green crop top blouse, light blue mini skirt and pair of white rubber shoes. Her hair was cut short with full bangs covering her entire forehead. And she was carrying a rose-pink backpack. Irina after so many years still looks very high school, she looks like a teenager, never growing old. I was watching her still and imagined her wearing the old white polo with a blue tie and navy-blue skirt. In my mind her black straight hair grew longer down to her waist. And she does not have bangs on her forehead. I was looking at her defined jawline, sharp nose and lovely eyes.‘Irina, if we ever travel time, and again, you see me here sitting on this same bench,’ I said. ‘Please come to me and tell me everything,’ I added. ‘I promise I will believe you.’‘What if we traveled time but we won’t remember anything?’‘How do we know that we time traveled if we don’t recall anything?’‘It will take time f
First KissEric: I know a music store near our high school.Irina: Really? Okay we’ll go.Eric: 4:00 PM,Irina: Copy that 4:00 PM‘Which one do you like?’ he asked.I was looking at the number of guitars displayed at the music store. There are couples of electric guitars, bass guitar, ukulele and acoustic guitar that come in different sizes.‘Which one do you play?’ I asked.‘Acoustic guitar and bass guitar,’ he said. ‘I have like one of those,’ he added and pointed to the lengthy dark blue electric bass guitar.‘Why the bass guitar longer,’ I asked. ‘And why does it only have five strings instead of six?’‘One day I will show you how I play the bass guitar,’ he said. ‘For now, I suggest you learn the acoustic guitar first,’‘Alright then, the acoustic guitar,’ I smiled. ‘I like the plain light brown color guitar, there,’‘Okay, wait here,’ he said. ‘I’ll ask them if they have a smaller guitar that will suit you.’Moment later Eric came back with a light-colored smaller size guitar.‘
Unknown to MeDecember 2021, there was a strong itchy sensation in my throat. I feel like grabbing my throat with my hand from the inside of my mouth. Only after a few hours have I caught a cold and cough. And this is not a good sign. I may have contracted coronavirus disease.I knew I needed to be isolated for a few days. I already had my two jabs of Pfizer vaccine, that is why maybe the symptoms I am showing are not severe, I don’t have difficulty in breathing.I decided to phone Mallory’s grandmother, and asked her to take care of her while I needed to quarantine myself. For a week we agreed that Mallory, for her own safety, should stay with her father’s parents while I am recuperating.Tuesday morning, I went to the nearest private hospital for a swab test. The nurse in the PPE suit handed me a form with the information I needed to fill out, like the following: Please check if you have the following symptoms: cold, cough, flu, fever, fatigue, shortness of breath. Have you been exp