CHAPTER THREE

ALESSANDRO POV

As the sun rose over the mountain, I finished putting the last of the bags in the the car and sat in the back seat. I pulled out my phone and plugged in my earphones listening to music waiting on Jermaine and hunter our driver who are still inside the airport. A few minutes later they walked through the exit to the car, hunter slid into the driver's seat while Jermaine went to the passenger seat. As we started the drive down the main road i got lost in my thoughts watching the cars go by out the window.

Where is she? Why couldn't i find her?

I know she's real i know i saw her but I've searched everywhere and still she eludes. 

Was she even real?

No, she has to be!

A beauty such as her's couldn't be made up i know what i saw that day Xavier confirmed it, but its been four years and i have yet to find her, where could she be.

This is so frustrating why is life always so cruel to me, i don't deserve this. My wolf is constantly restless always whining and howling in agony begging for his mate but no matter how hard we try we can't find her.

My thoughts are suddenly interrupted when hunter suddenly stomped on the breaks for a second making me shoot forward but i caught myself by placing my hands on the back of his seat.

"What the hell hunter" i yelled at him

"Sorry but there was a dog crossing the street i couldn't hit him"

I sighed leaning back in my seat as he continued driving. I saw jermaine pulling out his phone about to make a call, i figured he was calling my mom to let her know we'd be arriving soon. I miss her so much its been almost five months since I'd last seen her. Xavier and i both could both use one of her warm hugs right about now.

"Hello" i heard as the phone was answered 

"Hey honey" jermaine says into the speaker

"Did you guys land already?" Mom asks

"Yeah we just left the airport around 20 or so minutes ago"

"How's Al is he ok?" 

"Yeah he's back there listening to music"

"Tell him i said hi and that i miss him and i love him"

"Al your mom says-"

"I heard" i cut him off

"Hi mom i miss you and i love you too" i say so she could hear me

"Hey baby you ok?" She asks

"Yeah am good, just can't wait to see you"

"I can't wait to see you too bambino"

"What am i chopped liver" Jermaine feigned hurt

I heard mom chuckle before answering him, i blocked them out though because my mind went back to a certain a certain someone. About forty five minutes later of driving i was starting to doze off when hunter pulled into a drive thru, the voice of the operator reaching my ears.

"What do want to eat bud?" Jermaine asks

"I'm not-"

"Don't even bother to say your not hungry because you haven't eaten since we left Cali and your mom will have my ass if she found out i let you travel from one country to another without eating" he cuts me off

"Fine just get me a burger and a milkshake" i sighed

He turned around to make our orders while i rested my head on the glass my eyes half open. He soon collected our food and was off once again, jermain handed me a bag containing my burger and then my milkshake. I quickly ate and wrapped the garbage up placing them at my feet

"Were almost there but you can go back to sleep Al I'll wake you when we reach"

I nodded my head, barely listening.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another hour later hunter pulled off the main road and onto a dirt path with a NO TRESPASSING at the front, the sign was something Alpha Zander thought of to keep humans out of the woods so they wouldn't stray into our pack lands. Hunter drove briskly as the trees passed by us and soon enough we were going up the familiar rocky pathway, pulling up at the pack house. Hunter turned the car off announcing we have arrived, the place was silent since it was still early in them morning. Jermaine turned and looked at me saying

"Hunter and i are gonna drop some stuff off inside do you wanna just head home now or wait till i get back?"

"I'll wait" 

With a nod he released his seat belt and got out the car. He and hunter took a few boxes from the trunk bringing them inside while i went back to thinking about my life.

I highly doubt there is a person alive who's life is more fucked up than mine. Childhood a sided since i had a great childhood. But ever since my first shift my life went completely down hill. Can you imagine having to see your mother with third degree burns all over her skin just because some ass hole couldn't take a hint. People act like I'm some sort of evil person because i killed a lot of people, so what? Millions of people die on a daily basis and most of them are innocent, the one's i've killed are anything but. 

Monster of Florence my ass, i don't care if they consider me a monster I'll become the devil himself it it means protecting the ones i love. But what really worries me about my whole reputation is if my mate has heard of me, maybe that's why i can't find her because she is afraid of me.

No i can't think like that

But it could me possible i mean the stories have spread all around the globe

Maybe my mate is hiding from me maybe she's afraid of me afraid I'd hurt her, maybe she doesn't want to be with a monster.

Maybe i-

"Alessandro!" Jermain yells all of a sudden

"What!?" I growled angrily in a deep voice

"Al your eyes" he says

I looked at myself in the rear view mirror and that's when i realized i was getting angry by my thoughts and shifting in the car. My claws were sunken in the car seat and my skin was being covered with fur. 

"You ok kiddo?" Jermaine asked, worry evident in his eyes 

"I- I have to go" i say opening the car door finishing my shift and bolted into the woods.

Ten minutes into my run i spot a familiar dirt path and speed towards it. Soon I'm face to face with the sunflower fields i go to whenever i want to be alone. I shift and walk to the only tree in the entire field. I pulled out a pair of clothes i always keep in the tree trunk and got dressed before sitting down. This is the only place other than with my family that i feel somewhat alive anymore. I feel close to my mate when I'm here because this is the place she comes to me in my dreams, but also like the end of my dreams when she runs away from me the field is empty and screaming with silence.

Though I'm always alone here the scent of the flowers, the fresh damp grass and the rich soil that fills my nose gives me comfort. Thoughts of my mate fill my mind once more. I close my eyes and picture her with big shining eyes a beaming smile and beautiful silky hair falling in her face. I picture her arms wrapped around me as we hold each other tightly never wanting to let each other go. I see her eyes staring at me with love and devotion, her lips stretched into a huge smile showing off straight white teeth. I see us having kids and grand kids in the future and growing old together.

I smile to myself and open my eyes only to find myself alone yet again. I snort and shake my head as tears fill my eyes against my will, i blink them back. I hate this i hate feeling numb, i hate feeling alone and i hate the pain that consumes my body, i hate that my mate might see me as a monster and reject me.

Rejection!

The thought immediately came to me, what if she has already rejected me i mean its been four years, i saw her and she saw me her wolf must have acknowledged me as her mate and i saw realization in her eyes before she ran so she knew who i was and yet she left.

My mate has left me

At that thought the first sob breaks out and i find myself sobbing silently into my hands over the loss of the love i never found. I sob out the pain i know will consume me in seconds after i stop crying, i sob for all the shitty hands life has dealt me, why do i have to go through this much pain. I feel a push on the mental barrier i put up but i ignore it. I know i have to go back soon since everyone is expecting me but i just want to stay here forever. 

Sometimes i wonder if all the people I've killed especially ke'shaun and kevin are watching me crying like a little boy lost in a crowd of strangers as they smile in triumph saying to themselves that i deserve this.

I feel whoever is trying to reach me continue to push into my mind, i drop the wall and open up my mind link only to hear jermaine's voice.

"Sorry to disrupt you're alone time kiddo but but i was waiting on you at the pack house and you haven't returned as yet and your mom is asking for you" 

"Sorry to make you wait, go on ahead I'll meet you at the house" i tell him

"Ok I'll see you there be careful on your way back" he says before i shut the link between us

Standing up i take one last look at the field then turned and walked away. As i drag myself towards my house i feel a sudden burst of determination to keep moving and be strong, fill me up. But as soon as it cones, it's gone in the wind when Xavier begins howling again. If i feel like this i don't even want to imagine what he's going through. A wolf needs their mate to be complete, a wolf without a mate is just a lost soul searching for a meaning; for its missing piece, which is basically what we're doing now.

I don't know how much longer Xavier can hold out, a few times a day i feel a crippling pain go through my chest and i know its him giving up the fight, he's loosing hope just like i am. In the begining of all this it was Xavier who made me strong, he encouraged me to keep my head up and walk ahead, not to loose hope because our mate is out there. He would talk to me about how amazing our mate will be and how happy our life will turn out, whenever loneliness was pulling me down Xavier would be there to drag me back up. I would never admit it out loud mainly because it would break my mother's heart but there were days when i thought of taking the easy way out of this pain filled life but immediately Xavier would fill my head with thoughts of how happy we'll be once we found our mate.

Well, all that was four years ago and now we're both in pain.

Now the person who motivates me is my mom. She more than anyone understands my pain since she feels it, literally. But nonetheless she keeps telling me to keep up my faith, a faith that is dwindling in my heart. A heart that has long been broken, pulled in all directions and shattered everytime i wake up from my dreams. Even so mom thinks i shouldn't give up hope, that i shouldn't settle for just being a mate-less wolf and that one day I'll find my mate and finally be happy.

I listen to her because she knows my pain and she's always there to comfort me when i wake up in sweat and tears from my tormented dreams. Most days only she sees the pain in my eyes and the sadness beneath my smile. She's been through a lot in her life and still came out on top and now she's happy with the man she loves. So if after all shes been through and still got her happy ending I had decided to take her advice and keep holding on in hopes that i'll get mine, but after this trip i don't know if i can still do that.

As i approach my home i see multiple silhouettes on the porch. I hasten my steps reaching the gate in a few short minutes. As soon as i was in view my mom was the first one to spot me.

"Al!!" She shouts running towards me

She runs from the porch as i enter through the gate and as soon as she reaches arms length she throws herself at me. Catching her in my arms i feel warmth and happiness spread through my body the way it always does when she hugs me.

"Mom careful you could have hurt yourself and the baby" i say pointing to her protruding stomach

At only six months and shes as huge as a whale, not that I'd tell her that though i learnt from jermaine's mistake.

"I couldn't help myself sweetie i missed you so much and you took so long to get here i just couldn't wait another minute to hug my little prince" she say squishing my cheeks

"Ma am not a little kid anymore" i groan pulling her hands from my cheeks

"Sorry i took so long to get here i just needed a moment"

"I know sweetie and I'm sorry you didn't find her, i really thought this time would be the charm"

"Yeah me too but i guess its just not in the cards for me. I might as well reclaim the side of the closet i left for her" i sighed

"You're not gonna do another search? You know Alpha Zander doesn't mind he said you could search as long as you want"

"I know but I'm done, i guess I'm just mateless maybe what i thought i saw wasn't real i mean I've been searching for four years and nothing. Its time i get on with my life besides i still have the council to worry about, they may not have attacked us yet but knowing them I'd bet my life there planning something sinister"

"You're not mateless sweetie i know you aren't and the council can plan whatever they want as soon as they make themselves known we'll kill them. But i urge you don't give up"

"I'm sorry ma but I've made up my mind I'm done i can't do this anymore everytime i leave in search of her i force my self to have hope only for it to be crushed when i don't find her"

"Ok baby i understand, i just pray the moon goddess helps you out on this you've been through too much already you don't deserve this pain"

"Thanks ma, now lets go the others are waiting"

She nods in agreement and we walk up to the house. As soon as i reach the steps I'm greeted with multiple hugs.

"Glad to have you back Al sorry you're search was unsuccessful" alpha zander says

"Thanks uncle Zander" i say returning the hug

Afterwards I'm greeted by luna gabby, aunt Gen, uncle micheal, grandpa, Izzy, Sage, Brandon and Aj.

"Al are you hungry baby?" Mom asks

"Am starving" i say

"Ok I'll go whip you up something to eat" she says heading inside

"So how was your travel?" Uncle micheal asked

"Well we managed to sign quite a few treaties on the alpha's behalf and turns out people are learning more and more about the council's evil deeds. Some have decided to turn a blind eye in fear some decided to just stay out of it and others decided to be ignorant to the truth. But overall we got a lot of treaties signed so if a war should break out we'll have help"

"That's good, i don't know what the council has been doing all this time but one thing I'm certain of is that they will come for you when they're ready and we need to be ready too" Alpha Zander says

"That's true especially since some how people are finding about me as well. I heard some alpha's that refused to join us pass a few remarks about me so I'm guessing the council has made my situation public"

"I think you're right Al they're using it as a means to limit the amount of allies we gather" 

"Well it doesn't matter because as soon as i know where they are I'll end them before a war can even begin"

"Let's hope it goes that way" Uncle Micheal sighs

"Enough of this sad stuff where are my two little warriors?" I ask

"Oh, those two haven't woken up yet" Aunt Gen chuckles

As soon as she says that the front door opens and out comes Jermaine with the two little rascals we're talking about

"Look who just decided to grace us with their presence" he says walking through the door with two little four year old boys who were half awake and rubbing their eyes

"I stand corrected" Aunt Gen says

Jermaine gently placed them on the ground and as soon as they saw me i felt two little bodies crash into me

"Al!!!" They say in unison

"Hey boys how's my little warriors?" I ask

"We're ok, we missed you so much" Cameron says

"I miss you guys too buddy" 

"Look at you both you've gotten so big since i last saw you" 

"Yeah we've been training hard and eating lots and lots of food to get stronger, look" Caleb says showing me his muscles

"And look at mine" Cameron adds showing me his

Cameron is Micheal and Genevieve's son and Caleb is Alpha Zander and Luna Gabrielle's son. When the two boys met they became best of friends fast and have been joined at the hip ever since.

"Wow those muscles are big" i say in awe

"So now that we've gotten stronger will you take us hunting with you? Caleb whispers

"I heard that young man and the answer is still no, the both of you are too young to go hunting, have you forgotten none of you have shifted as yet" Aunt gabby says

"Uh man" Cameron groans

"No fair, dad and uncle mikey takes us hunting so why can't we go with Al" Caleb complains

"They do what?" Aunt Gen and gabby says looking at both their husbands

They're so dead

"Caleb shhh you were suppose to talk about that remember" Cameron reprimands

"Oops" Caleb says placing his hands on his mouth

I laughed at his reaction, his innocence is so cute. The little boy doesn't even know he just sentenced his father to a month on the couch.

"Al your food is ready" mom says from the doorway

"Food!!!" Aj squeals getting up from his chair

"Not for you" mom says sternly

"Oh Come on ma please just a little" he begs

"Aj its almost seven in the morning and you already ate three plates of food there is no way you're hungry" mom says

"I'm a growing boy i need food"

"No what you are is an endless pit"

We all laughed as Aj frowned in disappointment

"Thanks for the food mom" i say kissing her on the cheek as i enter the house

I see a blur flash past me and before i know it i see Aj going towards the kitchen

"Aj if you touch my food I'll kill you" i tell him

"Every man for himself Al survival of the fittest" he calls back as he searches for a plate

Wow what a great way to start off the morning by fighting over food. Moon goddess help us all.