Chapter 05
It was the third day of the conference.
Not much had happened yesterday, really.
The conference had gone smoothly, just like the first one had. The Ronald brothers brought in different guest speakers and they were just as inspiring as the previous ones had been. It held on quite longer than the first though but it was much more exciting.
Chris and I didn't have the chance to speak with Dean the entire time. Between the herd of people he was occupied with and Amber who was glued to his side, to the amount of people Chris and I got to mingle with, there really wasn't any time.
Being the third and final day of the conference, the Ronald brothers had decided to make it more of a dinner event. It was held in the same building, just not a conference hall this time. I, for one, felt it was a nice way to wrap it up.
The setting was breathtaking.
Everything looked so beautiful and luxurious. From the different tables arranged everywhere, to the glass and chinaware that were being flashed around by the waiters, to the drooping lights and chandeliers hung on the ceilings high above our heads.
Everyone present dressed as elegantly to fit the occasion and so did Chris and I.
Chris had worn one of his best tuxedos. He didn't wear the bow tie that came with it though, he just left the first three buttons open, revealing his silver neck piece and his chest underneath it. He also had one of his best black dress shoes on and his hair was styled neatly on his head.
I was dressed in a red dress that was of silk fabric and had a corset which snatched my waist perfectly. My heels were silver and so was my clutch. My makeup was mild; I hadn't done too much for it apart from the statement red lipstick which matched the colour of my dress.
"Bro, this is fucking awesome." Chris said, probably as in awe of the place as I was.
"Yeah, it is."
Just as we began making our way to a table, a familiar voice who called out my name made us stop in our tracks.
"Grace Anderson." Said the voice mellifluously.
Harry and Benny Ronald walked in short strides before stopping in front of Chris and I.
"Harry. Benny." I smiled at both of them.
Hugs were exchanged within the three of us while they exchanged handshakes with Chris.
The Ronald brothers were rather good looking.
They both looked a lot alike although Benny was a few years older than Harry. They had really worked their way up investing in so many business ventures that they were one of the richest men in the West Coast. They were both tech geniuses and were taking the crypto currency world by storm.
It was quite inspiring really.
"You look amazing." Harry said to me, his voice deep and calming.
"Thank you." I smiled. "As do you."
"Sorry, we haven't really gotten the chance to officially speak to you." Harry said again. "Between hosting and being busy with a lot of things that had to be done, we didn't really get the chance."
"It's no problem at all." I told him truthfully. "I understand."
"We were both really happy that you could make it." It was Benny's turn to speak. "Hope you two have enjoyed the conference so far."
"We have, it has been truly inspiring." Chris said to him.
"Thank you Chris Walker." Benny replied him. "You're a photographer, correct?"
Chris looked almost surprised, "Yeah, how did you-"
"My friend, Freddy, mentioned you." Benny told him. "I take it you're pretty good."
I could tell Chris was trying his best to hide how excited he was to hear that.
Chris and Benny became engrossed in their conversation about photography and Harry skilfully pulled me aside, offering me his arm which I immediately held in my hand.
"May I lead you to your table?" He said soothingly.
"Would be my pleasure."
He chuckled, "My brother and I are huge fans of your work, Grace. Me especially."
"Thank you." I felt my cheeks heat up. "That means a lot."
"I've always loved to read." He said to me. "By the time I was 14, I had read nearly half a thousand novels."
"Really?" I was surprised.
It was the same for me. I loved to read when I was little, my eyes were always glued to one book or the other.
"Yes." He chuckled when he took in how surprised I was at the fact. "My mother was a librarian and she would bring home stories because she knew how intrigued I was by them. When I was littler and she would read me bedtime stories, I always tried my best to read along with her. I learned how to read pretty fast that sometimes, I'd be the one to read to her."
"Your mom seems amazing." I smiled at the story.
"Yeah." He smiled as well, but it seemed distant. "She was."
I almost wore a sad look, "Oh-"
"What about you?" He said almost immediately. "Was it the same for you?"
"I'm afraid it was." I bit on my lip. "My love for reading bred about my ability to write. There wasn't any form of literature I wasn't in love with. And while I read, I learned one new thing or the other, you know? New words, new facts, new things in general and there was always this thing in me that told me I could do it as well. That I could be one of the talented writers I admired so much."
He smiled.
"I had this pink little journal and I wrote my first short story ever when I was 12." I continued. "My mom was the first person I gave to read it and she was so impressed. After that, she bought me more colourful journals and I would scribble anything in them when I felt like. Poems, essays, stories; anything."
"Your mother seems like an excellent woman as well." His smile widened.
"Yeah, she is."
"Excuse me." A waiter said nervously behind us as he tried to pass with the tray of drinks he was holding.
It was in that moment I realised that Harry and I had stopped walking and were simply standing on a spot, talking.
"Oh, sorry." I said to the waiter as Harry and I gave way for him to pass.
Immediately he did, Harry and I looked to each other and chuckled.
"You are an intriguing woman, Grace Anderson." The words travelled out of his mouth quixotically.
I bit down on my lip as I felt heat on my cheeks, "Thank you."
"I would love to take you out on a date." He said straightforwardly. "Somewhere where it's just us two and I can get to know you better."
I was flattered really.
"Look, Harry, you're a really nice person and you're very attractive too." I started, smiling. "But I'm honestly not interested in being with anyone right now, plus I'm heading back to England next week."
"That won't be a problem for me." He shook his head. "I travel a lot."
"You don't understand, I-"
"Harry, my man!" A male voice which exclaimed Harry's name cut me off abruptly.
Harry and I tore our eyes from each other, looking forward to see a young man who was almost as tall as he was, standing next to Dean Ryan who had his girlfriend glued to his side.
"David!" Harry shared the excitement of the man who had exclaimed his name. "So nice to see you, man."
Dean and I immediately made eye contact.
"Grace." He said nicely, a small smile on his face.
"Dean." I returned his smile and shifted my eyes to his girlfriend. "Amber."
She gave a curt nod.
Harry politely exchanged greetings with Dean and Amber before saying, "Grace, this is my good friend, David Freeman. David, this is Grace Anderson."
"Lovely to meet you." David said, extending his hand.
"You too." I grinned, shaking it.
"I take it you already know my sister, Amber." David said, taking a quick look from me to Amber.
Oh.
I tried not to seem surprised, "Yeah, we've met."
I instinctively looked to Dean again and I don't know if I was just imagining things but his eyes were on my hand which was hooked to Harry's arm for a split second before they focused on mine.
"Why don't we all have a seat, yeah?" David suggested.
I don't know if Harry was about to agree to that but I quickly jumped in, "Uh, I'd really love to but um, my best friend would kill me if we don't sit at the same table and it's, you know, just five to a table. So, uh, thank you."
I was freaking stuttering and I hated every second of it.
I didn't even want to know how dumb I sounded. But I'd take that any day than having to sit in a table with Dean and Amber while she glared daggers at me. I completely understood if she had any resentment toward me but the thing is I didn't really have much of a take on her.
Apart from the brief conversation we had on our first encounter, she hadn't really said much to me enough to be sure on if she really disliked me or not. But I wasn't about to find out.
I genuinely just didn't want her thinking that I was coming for her man or whatever. Because I wasn't.
"Oh, okay then." David's nice smile did not waver. "It's no problem at all."
"If you'll excuse us." Harry said before leading both of us away from the three of them.
Dean and I shared one last look before we were both out of sight.
"Well, that was bloody awkward." Harry said immediately we were out of hearing range.
I looked to him and couldn't help but laugh, "Oh God, even you could see it. I just kept stuttering like a crazy person."
Harry laughed as well, "Yeah. Bet that had to do with the fact that he was the Jay to your Abby."
My jaw almost fell to the floor, "Wait, how did you-"
His laughter increased when he saw how shocked I was, "It doesn't take too much to piece two and two together. I didn't know for sure before but seeing how awkward you two were back there and the shifty semi-prolonged stares, my mind quickly remembered both your middle names which I saw when Benny and I were sending out invites. That couldn't have been a coincidence."
I chuckled, still feeling a little surprised, "Okay, Detective Ronald."
"Would you mind if I ask what happened between you two?" He asked.
"Uh-"
"There you are!" Benny Ronald's voice cut me off abruptly.
Thank you, Jesus.
Harry and I looked to his brother, who was standing beside my best friend, Chris.
"We have to say a few words, remember?" Benny said to his brother.
"Right." He nodded before looking at me. "I have to go for a while but our conversation isn't over, Grace."
That was the last thing he said before he gave my hand a gentle pat and walked away with his brother.
* * * *
Chris and I were seated at a table where it was just us and a man we had just met and had a brief conversation with. There were food and drinks in front of us and it all looked mouthwatering and delightful.
Everyone's eyes were fixed on the Ronald brothers who stood on stage, addressing the audience.
"My brother and I would like to thank each and every one of you for taking time out of your busy schedules to be part of this conference." Benny said into his mic, gratitude in his voice. "The past two days, and today, have been a huge success and none of it would've been possible without you all."
Everyone applauded.
"Benny and I spent months planning this. And we are so happy that it turned out greater than we could've ever imagined." Harry added, looking just as grateful as his brother did.
"Well, Harry Ronald is fucking hot." Chris said beside me.
You don't have to tell me.
"I agree." I said, my eyes still fixed on Harry. "My eyes get an orgasm just looking at him."
Chris laughed, "What?!"
I laughed too.
"You two seemed to be really kicking it off earlier." He winked when I looked at him.
"Yeah, he did kind of ask me out."
Chris' eyes widened, "Oh, my God!"
I chuckled at how dramatic he was being, "Calm your tits, I turned him down."
"Why in the world would you-"
I gave him a knowing look, "You know why. And please, if Harry and I do speak again this evening, don't you dare try to do any of that Cupid shit."
Chris groaned, "Harry is beautiful! And a multi-millionaire. What in the world is wrong with you?"
"I don't want to be with anyone." I shrugged. "Is there anything wrong with that?"
"Um, yea-"
Harry and Benny's speech came to an end and everyone applauded loudly and so did I, hoping that it would get Chris off my back.
When the sounds of clapping subsided, Chris looked to me again and said, "Grace, hear me out-"
"I gotta use the bathroom." I cut him off, taking my purse in hand and standing from my seat.
"Grace-"
"Love you." I said as I continued to walk away.
I was out of the hall where the dinner was being held and I looked around, having no clue where to head to. I noticed a worker who was standing just a few feet away from me and approached her.
"Hey." I said to her. "Where can I find the bathroom please?"
"Just keep walking down that hallway, last door by your right." She kindly directed.
"Thank you." I gave her a small smile before I walked away from her, following her directions.
When I got to the end of the hallway, I pushed open the door to my side and made my way in.
I was shocked to see the back of a man who stood slouched over the counter, one hand on its surface and the other on the wall of the bathroom beside him.
"Oh, my bad. I thought this was-"
On hearing my voice, he turned to me almost startled and I was shocked to see Dean's eyes staring back at me.
"Dean?" I couldn't keep the shock out of my tone.
I had no idea what was going on but I knew for a fact that he didn't look okay. His hair was messy, like he had ran his hand through it one too many times. There was this troubled look in his eyes and there was panic written all over his face. His hands were shaking frantically and he looked completely out of it.
"Oh, my God, Dean." I rushed to his side, my heart racing rapidly in fear and worry. "Are you okay? What happened?"
I don't know if he didn't want to say anything or he really couldn't bring himself to. He just kept breathing raggedly while his body trembled.
I was worried.
I was worried and scared for him.
I had to force myself not to panic but I didn't even know exactly what to do.
"Uh, wait right here, okay?" I said, almost terrified as I placed my hand on his. His entire body seemed to stiffen at that single action. "I'm gonna go get Amber."
I was already about to bolt out of the door when he placed his other hand on mine, stopping me.
"No, Chip, wait." His voice sounded so shaky. "D-Don't, please."
My breaths came out ragged as I look at him confusedly.
"Just-" he managed to let out. "J-Just..."
"It's okay, it's okay." I tried my best to sound calming. "Everything's gonna be fine."
I didn't know if it was the right thing to do but I had no idea what else to do so I hugged his body close to mine. His head immediately fell to my shoulders and he wrapped his arms around me. My heart hammered against my chest as I rubbed his back in a soothing manner, continuously whispering the words;
"You'll be okay."
________
Chapter 06Dean was having a panic attack.That was clear by now.Apart from the mental breakdowns I used to witness after Dean would have a nightmare about Charlie, I honestly had never seen him like this. He looked completely disoriented and frantic.Luckily, I was familiar with panic attacks. Tommy used to suffer from them when he was younger and I watched my parents handle him enough times to know exactly what to do.Dean and I had found ourselves on the floor of the bathroom, his back against the wall. I pulled away from the hug so that I could face him squarely.Holding both his arms in each of my hands, I looked to him and said, "Breathe, in and out."He tried to do as I told."Dean, look at me." I whispered as calmly as I could manage. "Look at me."His ocean blue eyes met mine."Breathe." I instructed slowly. "In and out."He was able to do it this time."In and out." I said again, my eyes searching his. "Come on."He repeated the action but his body was still trembling.I pl
Chapter 07"So, are you ever going to tell me what happened last night?" Chris asked, facing me squarely on the couch where we both sat."What do you mean?" I raised an eyebrow as I looked up from my phone.The ride back to my house with Harry last night was simply filled with us talking about random things. It was a good distraction from the event that had happened earlier. He was also able to get my number before I got down from the car.It was nice, really. He was a nice guy."What do you mean what do I mean?" He furrowed his brows, hitting me with a pillow. "What happened with Harry?""Nothing happened with Harry." I rolled my eyes."Come on-""For real, Chris." I told him. "He just dropped me off and that was it.""What about that date?" He nudged my foot with his."I already told you I turned him down.""Ugh!" Chris groaned. "What in the world is your problem?""Nothing." I shrugged my shoulders."Why do you keep shutting guys out? Are you scared to love again?" He said in a pl
Chapter 08It was the anniversary of my father's passing.Three years.My father had been gone for three years.It all still felt surreal, really. It still felt like yesterday when my mother called me to give me the most heart wrenching news of my life. It still felt like yesterday when my father and I were trying to rebuild our father-daughter relationship. It still felt like yesterday when I was a little girl and he would tuck me in every night.Death was a thief of a different kind.It was the most wicked thing to happen to our loved ones. The pain of having to live with the fact that you might never see or touch that particular person for the rest of your life. The grief that washes over you when you think of a million things you wished you had said to them but didn't. The things you would do just to speak to them one last time. The hope that maybe you'd see them when you die too.The uncertainty of it all.It was crushing.I had promised myself that I wouldn't feel sad today but
Chapter 09I had a dream about my father again last night.This one wasn’t like the others.It was light and airy. The entire atmosphere was serene and peaceful. There was a garden which had different flowers of different colours. The garden consisted of roses, especially, which I remembered to be his favourites.My father was dressed formally, in a three piece suit which was as white as snow. He also had a fancy hat on coupled with a wide smile on his face. I couldn't particularly see myself, but I was dressed in a red summer dress that flowed freely all the way down to my knees. I was happy seeing my father and he looked just as happy to see me.I couldn't remember what exactly we spoke about but I did remember us having a conversation. What I do remember is asking him if he had forgiven me right before I woke up.This was the third time my father had woven his way into my dreams in the span of two weeks.They were comforting to be honest.My mom and Tommy had already stepped out
Chapter 10"Got this for you." Julian said, handing me a gift wrapped present."Thanks, Julian." I smiled at him and gave him a hug.Chris threw me the party against my better wishes. At first, I was adamant about him having the party but seeing how much effort he put into planning it all, I started to love the idea of it. He made an effort not to do anything he knew I wouldn't like. He didn't invite too many people, he kept the guest list exclusive, just as he had promised. He kept checking things with me to make sure I was okay with everything he was planning and things he wanted to do.I don't know what I did to deserve Chris, really.The party had recently just started and few of our friends were still yet to come. I was already having a good time as it was. I felt really grateful to the people around me and the people that showed up. I had received gifts from Harry, Chris, my mom and now, Julian."I think that's another great perk of having a going-away party." I said to Harry
Chapter 11I was back in Bath.It felt good to be back but it was also hard to not miss the feeling of home and the time I spent with everyone. It felt good being back in my apartment which always had this warm and cozy feeling. The entire weekend, I spent unpacking and simply enjoying my own company. I also spent quite some time texting with Dean. I had sent him selfies with the pink jacket he got me just as I had promised and we just continued texting from there. At some point, I started to feel bad texting someone else's boyfriend so much, putting myself in Amber's shoes and wondering if I'd be comfortable with my boyfriend texting his ex that much. Every time the thought crossed my mind, I'd tell myself that I wouldn't respond again, but then I always found myself texting back whenever he sent a text.I struggled with my subconscious to convince myself that it wasn't such a bad thing. Dean and I did say we were back to being friends and friends text each other all the time, righ
Haven left for England after accepting a job offer at Spring Publishing House and leaving Dean with nothing but a goodbye letter, the sequel kicks off three years later when Grace returns to Los Angeles for a visit during Spring Break.She expects everything; seeing her family and best friend, Chris again, having to be home for the third anniversary of her father’s passing, what she doesn’t expect, however, is to run into her ex, Dean Ryan, at an interview for a famous TV show, The Sasha Chorus Show.He seems equally as surprised to see her and Grace can’t help but be at a loss of words being at close proximity with Dean after such a long time. The two later have a conversation after Grace’s interview, where Grace apologises for ending their relationship in the manner that she did. He assures her that it’s all in the past shortly before a lady appears out of nowhere, planting a passionate kiss on Dean’s lips, a lady who Dean then introduces to Grace as his girlfriend, Amber.During th
Chapter 13"...and I don't care what anyone says, tonight is all about Grace-"I felt my phone vibrate in my purse and I took it out to see it was a text from Dean. I had to force myself not to respond and place it back in my purse, remembering Kendra's words yesterday."-and celebrating her big accomplishment, so we're turning it up tonight!" Lydia finished her energy giving speech.Seeing as I had a lot of work to get done yesterday, I couldn't make time to go out and celebrate as I should've. But tonight, which only seemed apt because it's a Friday night, my two favourite coworkers, Lydia and Connor, took it upon themselves to make sure I celebrate.Dean tried to FaceTime again last night, which I quickly dodged by sending a brief text stating I was busy. He also sent a text this morning which I ignored until he sent a meme which I plainly responded to with a laughing emoji.To tell you the truth, it wasn't easy and I kind of felt bad about it but I sucked it up because it was the
Chapter 34For a moment, I stood there, awkwardly staring at her.The shock I felt was probably displayed on my face. She looked like she wasn't moved at my reaction, like she expected me to be this surprised.She finally spoke, "Can I come in?"I quickly collected myself and tucked loose hair behind my ear, saying, "Yeah, uh, sure."I stepped aside, giving her room to step into my house and once she had done that, I closed the door. Her eyes wandered round my apartment. Not in a weird way, simply in a 'taking in my environment' kind of way. I observed her as she stayed silent, trying to tell by her expressions what she was thinking and what she was going to do next.Did she find out that I kissed Dean?Was she here to tell me to stay away from her man? To pull my hair even?She didn't look like the type to fight over a man and even if she wanted to, she would've launched for me the minute I opened the door.Not being able to take the looming awkward silence anymore, I said, "Can I g
Chapter 33My head was spinning.I needed everything to pause for a moment.So much had happened in the past 72 hours that I wasn't given enough time to process. It was crushing me.The drive back to my house was basically me trying to hold back tears. There was so much going on in my head that I feared it was going to explode. I had called Lydia and she sounded scared at how frantic I was. I could barely even form a proper sentence to explain what had happened, so she assured me that she'll be at my house soon and I should breathe.By the time I got home, I felt worse. I tried to simply take a minute to process and there was no thought that didn't hurt. From accepting the fact that I hadn't gotten over Dean to basically trying to end our friendship to Connor kissing me to witnessing Dean's panic attack.Dean's outburst tore me apart in more ways than I let on. I had always imagined the possibility of him feeling that way but actually hear him say them to me was another level of hu
Chapter 32I'm certain the people at the cafe thought I looked funny, the stares they gave me said that much.But I couldn't blame them, I was wearing hotel flip flops on a fancy silk brown dress. My hair was also tied up in the messiest bun and I'm sure I had dark circles under my eyes. Well, I got my breakfast order and headed back to the fifth floor in the elevator. Just as I was careful not to make a sound when I was stepping out, I also applied the same effort when I came back. Dean was still sleeping soundly by the time I got back. I made my way to the dressing mirror and started placing the cups of coffee and wraps of bagels on it. One of the bagel wraps slipped from my hand and fell to floor."Shit." I cursed under my breath, picking it up.I heard a low sound come from Dean and I looked back at him to see that he had woken up."Grace?" His voice was low and deep as he sat up and rubbed his eyes."Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." I apologised, feeling bad."What are you-"
Chapter 31The lady at the reception almost didn't let me pass.Apart from the time I had come to pick Dean up the day we went to the art gallery, I had never really visited him here. Seeing as he was a special guest, his room number couldn't be disclosed due to confidentiality reasons. I had to go through our previous texts to find where Dean had lazily mentioned his room number. The lady tried ringing his room but he didn't accept the call. I was already agitated when I was trying to explain the situation to her and she still wouldn't hear me out until she recognised me as author Grace Anderson.Turns out she was a huge fan and an autograph on her copy was all it took the entire time for her to let me up.If my heart was pounding before, it was running a bloody marathon by the time I was going up the elevator. My worry still hadn't subsided by the time I had gotten to the 5th floor and was searching for his room number.When I eventually found it, I took in a deep breath before I k
Chapter 30Lydia gasped dramatically, "He kissed you?!""Shhh!" I shushed her."Sorry." She whispered, probably realising we were at work and anybody could hear her. "Thank you.""Well, did you kiss him back?" She asked eagerly, still whispering."No." I whispered back. "I-I mean, kind of. It didn't really last long before I pulled away.""Oh, my God, you literally have the most interesting complicated love life ever." She exaggerated."I know." I whined."Then, what happened?""What do you think happened?" I furrowed my brows. "It was like the club all over again. He apologised for kissing me, went all extra silent and weird after and decided to drive me home. The ride back to my house was SILENT, bloody silent Lyd. And apparently, he called in sick today.""Oh, man." She made a face. "That's not good.""I mean, it just didn't seem like the right moment to be sucking faces." I explained. "He had just told me something really personal a-and I don't know, it was a really sad atmospher
Chapter 29I fought the urge to call in sick today.God knows I wanted to.But it was either I went to work and just have to face one or two uncomfortable conversations and maybe a few lingering stares or I stayed home watching dumb TV shows while being alone with my thoughts and feeling sad all over again. At least at work, I had distractions.I had stopped at Starbucks to get breakfast, as per usual, on my way to work. I had skilfully slipped into my office without running into anybody, hallelujah and comfortably had my coffee and bagels while reviewing some of the work I had to do.I had scheduled meetings with writers I worked with so I stayed busy majority of the day. I would say they served as good distractions if I didn't find myself having thoughts of Dean every now and then.There was no truth to Harry's logic.Everything is harder now I've accepted it.I had just finished my last meeting for the day when my door was slowly pushed open, revealing Lydia who wore a dramatic lo
Chapter 28"Whoa," Chris finally said something after watching me rant on FaceTime for about fifteen minutes, "all this happened last night?""Yup."Last night was a lot for me, really.It really did hurt having to go through all that; accepting that I wasn't even close to getting over Dean and having that semi-outburst in the parking lot. There were so many things I wanted to say but held back from doing so because it would've been too painful. Don't even get me started on the look on his face. I wasn't a fool. It was obvious that he was affected as well by the entire thing. Which was what I didn't understand, if he was so in love with his girlfriend, why was he here giving me all these mixed signals? Letting me be his 'tour-guide' and show him special places in the city. Why was he here letting himself get close to me again? I just didn't get it.Harry was literally God-sent last night though. He got me home safe and stayed with me a bit till he was certain that I was okay. At one
Chapter 27I hadn't really processed what I had done.I had just, done it.I forced myself to look at someone other than Dean which was unfortunately Connor, who definitely wasn't a better option with how shocked and distressed he looked.Harry flashed a charming smile to the group of people staring at us and held my hand, leading me away from everybody. He guided me to a random empty office that was fortunately unlocked. He opened the door for me to step in and did so as well after me, closing the door behind him."What the hell, Grace?" Harry asked with a confused expression."I am so sorry, Harry." I apologised, starting to feel mortified about everything that just happened. "I don't know why I did that, I-""Hey, it's okay." He placed his hands on my arms. "Breathe."I did as he told me, practicing a breathing technique I had mastered for situations like this where things got too overwhelming."First of all, apology accepted although I didn't really mind the kiss. Just, you know,
Chapter 26Saturday had come.It was the day of the BBA awards.It wasn't until the day before that I started fretting and feeling nervous about the entire thing. Anxious thoughts kept creeping in. Thoughts like "What if I don't win? Would everyone still be proud of me?" "Everyone has so much expectations of me. What if I let them down?"I tried my best to push them away but they were there; which was only human, frankly.The award show was nothing too extravagant. I did spot a lot of famous writers whom I had been reading and looking up to since I was a child and I felt honoured to be in their midst. There was a red carpet before the main event started where I was briefly interviewed with a couple of normal questions. There were also a lot of cameras flashing in my direction and I tried my best to look confident enough.Everyone who Kendra had gotten a ticket for showed up. Connor, who had made few efforts to speak to me since the whole Dean showing up at Spring thing, came all su