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Chapter 209
Chapter 209
Max
I looked at Eleanor not wanting to cry. I know that I haven't been the best day to come home to. I didn't know where Ellie's head was at. There were days when I knew how to approach a situation where my fiance is concerned. This summer I feel like I've messed up and that there is no coming back from what I did. I shouldn't have done what I did I should have just talked to Eleanor and told her that I was feeling too weak and not as strong as she's come to know me to be and the last thing I ever wanted her to do was to question whether or not she wants to be with me and stay with me through everything.
"Ellie the last thing I ever wanted to do was keep quiet. I wanted to talk to you so badly but I couldn't because I just don't know-how. I haven't talked to anyone and I haven't been talking to anyone hell you can even ask my sister, she even told me to talk to you or at least try spending some more tim
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Chapter 210EllieLife; death, and rebirth. Three things that we are supposed to know about and have a clue about the direction we are supposed to take, but at times they can be the three things that define our journey on earth and our spiritual flow into the next life . I've come to understand the three stages always have meaning in more ways than one.Nobody ever really has life sussed out ; and everything happens for a reason no matter how cliche it might sound if something didn't happen you wouldn't be where you are right now and if you weren't given the choice you'd say that; you're a victim of circumstance but everybody always has a choice no matter how hard ,how easy ,or how logical everyone has a decision to make that may affect their lives in one way or another.I could have chosen not to get back together with my ex ...after the pain he caused me on a previous breakup 10 y
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Chapter 211MaxThe most brutal feeling one can ever feel in my opinion is having something beeb taken away from you and not getting the chance to say goodbye or be given enough time to prepare to say goodbye to someone you love. They say that the hardest part of any death is letting go not being present. That may be true; but the hardest part of any death is being present and watching it happen in front of you first I saw my brother die in front of me in my fiance's arms. Then when that was happening I got a chance to speak to my mother but I didn't get a chance to say goodbye. She had a very important message to give me but she slipped away before I could hear what she wanted to say.I had to deal with saying goodbye to two of the most important people in my life without saying goodbye properly. I know that I cannot change how things turned out and I had no control over what happened. Part of me feels lik
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Chapter 212EllieI tend to forget that the house security can be controlled by using my phone. Only two people have access to the system. Now that Blake is gone I really do miss him and I wish he was around so that he could help me choose a security system so that my fiance wouldn't get control of it. Right now he's using it to prevent me from leaving because I feel like my feelings are not acknowledged or I am not being taken seriously by anyone around me with regards to family matters.I know that Janet and Blake were not my biological family but they were the closest thing to family I've had and they were there for me when nobody was. It feels as if I've been saying care of everybody is feelings except for mine and I think it's manifesting in the most weirdest of ways at the worst time. As a part of me wanted to run and hide and not come out until I stopped being an emotional limbo I feel like I can't fee
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Chapter 213EllieI hate feeling uncertain about a lot of things and feeling uncertain about my relationship is the last thing that I wanted but at the moment I think I do and it's not because I'm going to find out what's going to happen with regards to what Janet wanted and what Blake wanted with regards to the will readings this afternoon. I wanted to run away and sort out my feelings so that I don't hurt anyone else, but no matter what I do and how I try to stop anyone from hurting the people I love always end up getting hurt and it's the last thing I ever wanted to happen to anyone I didn't want to hurt anyone. Right now I feel like I am hurting my fiance effortlessly and it's a sucky feeling.Max looked at me like he was about to break down and cry because if I had told him that I needed a break and I don't think we should be together then we I'd be telling you another story.I told him the truth about how I wa
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Chapter 214MaxThe one thing I've always been afraid of has been losing what I already have. That's one of the many things that I'm afraid of happening. What's on top of my list is losing my fiance. I understand her and she understands me and that in itself is a blessing but there are days when we lock horns and that's when I feel like the world's about to end because that's me being dramatic but on a serious note I am scared of screwing up the one good thing I have you told me countless times that she will let me screw up our relationship and she won't allow me to be a bad father no matter how hard I try.Billie is the best sister anyone can ask for and Isle of Man big brother to her in more ways than one she is my baby sister and I love her to bits , I knew something was wrong when I found her on the floor and she wasn't breathing properly and I pray to God that both her and her unborn baby where ok and
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Chapter 215 Ellie Sometimes the true colours of the people we love show themselves in different ways and manifests in different actions. I know that Max is a good person and he has good inside of him. I don't think anybody could be that bad. I know that the past couple of weeks have been hectic on us more specifically this week but the reading of the will brought a lot of things into the light . Max has always had a face he pulled when he wasn't happy and that happened on rare occasions, but today the look and the energy he gave off told me all I needed to know about how he was feeling about what I was given by his mother and brother . I felt like if I had the chance to contest they will I would but the instructions were clear and black and white that I received what I was given and Max gets what he was given and since Blake is gone he gets some of his shares in the Luca umbrella of companies. To come t
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Chapter 216MaxIt's been two weeks since I've seen my fiance. I've spoken to my baby boy but the only person I haven't spoken to is the woman I love and the mother of my child. I knew that Ellie was flying up to Joburg , Paul had called a team meeting and that meant that she had to be present in order for the meeting to go ahead. She couldn't call for backup in the form of Juan and she had to sign important documents. I know I messed up on the day the world was being read but in my defence I was still processing my grief and I needed some time to figure myself out and hopefully try to check myself.There's a reason why I'm still captain of the team that I play for, I said probably Andres and the minute a boundary is crossed I make sure that I put it back in place so that it may not be crossed again. I was minding my own business and I was going to my favourite bar but a couple of my teammates because
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Chapter 217EllieMaxwell is a professional secret keeper. I think I'm going to have to put up with the fact that some things I will never know but where serious things are concerned I will always be in the know. When I asked him if he could tell me what he decided with regards to his future at the football club he distracted me bye you taking me on the bathroom counter; on the bathroom door , behind the bathroom door , on the wall , then on the bed . I knew that he missed me and he wanted to make up for lost time. I still can't wrap my mind on how much energy my fiance had last night . We are honest lights at 3 a.m. this morning.I had to get up early go to the office will start but meant that I had to leave before Maxwell but I didn't want to get out of bed 3 hours later from the time we slept. I have the ability to function on little sleep and Mike still has the ability to function when he's had a lo
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