Chapter 5

When Matt drove Holly back to her car, he’d wrestled with what he should do. Should he let her go, never see her again, and hope for the best? He had a feeling that was what she thought she should do. What claim did she have on him, and vice versa?

But his honor clawed at him, and he knew that he couldn’t let her go with her ex out there, the ex that could—and very likely would—hurt her given half the chance. Matt was a police officer and had access to things that a normal citizen wouldn’t. What kind of a man would let a woman like Holly leave as he sat back and did nothing?

So after he’d changed her tire and they’d driven back to his place, he told her that he wouldn’t let her leave until she was safe to do so. The look of surprise on her face had both amused and frustrated him. It also saddened him that she automatically expected that people wouldn’t help her, at least nothing beyond the essentials.

He watched as she went back inside his house. He decided to make some calls, find out as much as he could about Sam. Refusing to let Holly drive away was something any man with a conscience would do. It had nothing to do with how much he wanted her, or how he couldn’t stop thinking about how she’d felt against him last night.

He grimaced at the memory while his body heated. He shouldn’t think about it; he should let it go. But her kisses and her moans would stay with him for years to come. She’d awakened something in him, something that wasn’t just lust, but something that he hadn’t felt since he’d first met Melanie. That desire for connection, for a relationship, for love.

He shook himself. He couldn’t do this. He could help Holly, but nothing beyond that. When she was safe, he’d let her go.

“I’m going to get some work done,” he told her as she sat down with a cup of coffee in the living room. “I’m going to call some guys, get some information about that ex of yours. What’s his last name?”

Holly hesitated, but eventually she gave in. “Sam Gantry, born in Chicago on August 1, 1981,” she rattled off. “I can give you his social security number, his phone number, address—the works.”

Matt pulled out his notepad and scribbled down everything she told him, making mental notes as he did so. He knew that restraining orders were just pieces of paper, but it would be a start. If he could pull some strings and get one processed before Christmas, it would be a miracle.

“Did you ever report his assaults to the police down in Louisiana?”

She grimaced. “Only once. The neighbors called the cops on us that last time, and I gave them a statement. They took me back to the station for photos and stuff, but he ended up not getting out on bail.” She rolled her eyes. “Go figure.”

Matt grunted. He was all too aware of how these guys somehow managed to avoid jail time. It didn’t help that these cases often ended up as he-said, she-said, ignoring the fact that women lying about domestic violence was extremely rare.

He took some more notes and then headed upstairs. He knew a few guys down in Louisiana, one of whom he’d worked with his first year on the force. Calling up Dan, Matt gave him the details of the case, asking him if he could look further into Sam Gantry’s rap sheet. If they could hang the guy on any charge, Matt would take it. He didn’t care if it was jaywalking—anything would do. Anything to keep him from coming after Holly and enacting revenge for her leaving.

“It says here that this guy was arrested for public intoxication just a week ago,” Dan said in his Southern drawl. “He got out on bail, but he has a court date for mid-January.”

“Can the date be pushed up?”

Dan snorted. “I’m not a judge, dude, but based on all of this, Ms. Cook can definitely file a restraining order, no problem. That would at least be a start.”

“And what happens when this guy decides he doesn’t give two shits about a piece of paper saying to stay 500 feet away?”

“We all know it’s just a detail, but at least if he gets close, you can arrest him.” Dan was typing in the background. “I’ll get you the paperwork here in an hour, and then if you get her signature, we can hopefully get this done before everything closes down for Christmas.”

“Thanks, Dan. I really appreciate it.”

“This woman must have really made an impression on you.”

Matt stared at his keyboard, unsure how to respond. Finally, he said, “Just trying to help someone down on her luck.”

Dan didn’t contradict him, and they said their goodbyes. Within the hour, Dan sent over the paperwork, and Matt went straight downstairs to have Holly sign them.

“I know it’s not a huge thing,” he said, almost apologetically, “but at least if he gets close, we can do something about it.”

She nodded, her face drawn, signing the documents without comment. But as he was about to go upstairs, she touched his arm. “Thank you. For everything.”

He smiled. “Just doing my job, madam.”

She didn’t smile back, though, and his heart hurt seeing it. After he sent everything back to Dan, his fellow officer assured him he’d do everything in his power to get everything completed before Christmas. It was all Matt could do for the time being, at any rate.

The day dragged on, and it was evening when Holly knocked at his office door. “Doing okay up here?”

He turned toward her, and he once again marveled at how lovely she was. That creamy skin, and red hair, and her flushed cheeks. The dogs sat on their haunches next to her, and he couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to have her around all the time. As a girlfriend, fiancée. Wife. He pushed that thought way back, knowing it could never happen.

“Dan told me that he should get everything to the judge and we’ll have that restraining order finally.” Matt got up and pet Arya behind her ears. “But I think you should stay here for the time being.”

“So you’ll keep me locked up in a tower for the rest of my life?” Holly smiled sadly.

“No, but if you’re alone, and Sam finds you, what happens then?” Matt pushed a hand through his hair. “How will you protect yourself?”

“I just won’t let him find me.”

“Do you really think it’s that easy? Holly, I’ve seen what happens on these cases. I’ve seen the aftermath. These guys don’t just give up.” He stared at her, trying to get her to see sense. “If you get hurt on my watch, I’ll never forgive myself.”

To his surprise, Holly embraced him, laying her face against his chest. “You don’t have to protect the entire world,” she murmured. “I knew what I was facing when I left him. I knew that he’d be more dangerous as a result.” Looking up at him, she said, “You can’t keep everyone safe, and I can’t stay here forever.”

He wrapped his arms around her. “If you staying here forever is what needs to happen, then that’s what I’ll do.”

She shook her head, but she didn’t tell him no, either.

She eventually pulled away. “You know what we need to do?”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Put up your Christmas tree. How is it that it’s two days from Christmas and you haven’t put anything up?”

He hadn’t even thought about Christmas decorations this year, if he were being honest. Melanie had always done them. But this year, he hadn’t been thinking about Melanie, or Christmas.

He’d been thinking about Holly.

Holly had somehow managed to find the Christmas tree and ornaments stacked in the basement, and he helped her haul them up the stairs. He took the tree from her and tossed it over his shoulders, the dogs barking at their antics.

“You realize this will all be coming down in three days, right?” he said as they went into the living room.

She just grinned. “You’re such a party pooper. Now get that tree out of the box and we’ll get this place looking like Christmas.”

Holly’s enthusiasm was infectious, he had to admit. He helped her put the tree together, a plastic thing from Walmart he’d bought ages ago, and although it looked rather scraggly, he enjoyed helping Holly decorate it. Turning on some Christmas music, they hung the tree with lights as Arya and Sansa attempted to help. When only some of the lights even turned on, Holly laughed.

“That is the saddest looking tree I’ve ever seen.”

“Hey, it’s been through a lot,” Matt said as he fiddled with the lights. “Be nice to it.”

“I’m not sure it’s going to make much of a difference.”

They finally got enough lights on there to make it look like a real Christmas tree, and then began the arduous task of hanging ornaments. For the most part, Matt only had plastic colored balls, but he had a few sentimental ornaments from his childhood that his mom had given him in the years past.

Holly held up a basketball ornament. “Yours?”

“Of course. Oh, and this one.” He held up a snowman police officer, which just made Holly laugh.

Seeing Holly laughing and happy, Matt could only wish this would last. How had he fallen so hard for someone he’d just met a day before? But that was surely madness, wasn’t it? He was probably just projecting; he was lonely; he hadn’t had sex in too long. Once she left, he’d get his head back on straight, and he could get back to his life.

Holly made them both hot chocolate spiked with peppermint schnapps, and they sipped their mugs as they gazed at the Christmas tree. “Let It Snow” came on the radio, and if Matt closed his eyes, he could almost imagine they were a real family.

Looking down at Holly, he couldn’t help but reach out and touch her. Feel the silk of her hair, and see her eyes widen slightly. Her lips parted, and when she didn’t pull away, he kissed her. She tasted like peppermint.

He kissed her as the music flowed around them and the lights flickered and as his heart pounded and told him that he’d be a fool to let her go.

“I want you to stay,” he murmured against her mouth. “Stay with me, Holly.”

“Oh, Matt.”

“I know you think you can’t, or you think you have to leave. You don’t. We have something here. I know you feel it as much as I do.”

She looked at her feet, biting her lip. Matt’s heart pounded, waiting for her answer.

“I want to, but I just can’t.” She sighed. “I wish I could, though.”

He didn’t understand her answer. He wanted to rail at her. Was she still in love with her ex? No, that wasn’t it. She thought she deserved to be alone? That made the most sense, perhaps.

He grabbed her hand. “At least think about it.”

She stilled. She didn’t pull away, but she didn’t say anything, either.

They both went to their separate bedrooms that night, although both dogs followed Holly into her room before Matt got them to come with him. He and Holly didn’t say much of anything else that evening. With the restraining order still not complete, he’d told her she should stay put for now, to which she’d nodded and agreed.

Now, Matt lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. He couldn’t sleep, not with Holly just a few doors away, lying in her own bed. Was this love? He didn’t know. He’d loved Melanie, but that had been a slow, almost easy-going kind of love, a love that had left its sting but hadn’t broken him. This, though, whatever this was with Holly? It didn’t compare. It was like trying to compare a candle with a fiery blaze.

Finally, he fell asleep, dreaming of Holly and her bright red hair. He didn’t know how long he’d fallen asleep when something woke him up. A movement? A sound? His heart beating fast, he told himself he’d been dreaming, but he couldn’t get the thought that something had happened out of his mind.

When he rose from the bed and flipped on his lamp, Sansa woofed quietly. Both dogs got up to help him investigate, their tails wagging. He looked at the clock: 3:05 AM. The sun wouldn’t rise for some hours yet, of course. He yawned, considering getting something to drink.

Passing by Holly’s room, he almost knocked on her door. But he’d be a huge jerk to wake her up, and besides, what would he say? “I woke up for some reason and decided to wake you up, too?” He pressed his ear against her door, and to his surprise, it wasn’t latched. The door swung open, creaking, and he winced.

He waited for Holly to wake up, ask him what the hell he was doing, but the light from his own room filtering into the hallway showed that Holly’s room was empty. Arya got up onto the bed and began digging in the sheets before curling up where Holly had been sleeping.

He flipped on the light, and he saw that her coat and boots were gone. His heart pounding, he raced downstairs, calling out her name. “Holly! Holly, where are you?” He knew the answer, but he wanted to make sure. Maybe she’d moved to the living room. Maybe she was sleepwalking. Maybe a meteor had hit earth and he was in some alternate universe.

He went straight into the garage, and seeing Holly’s car was gone, he cursed a blue streak. The restraining order wasn’t even complete, and she’d decided to take off? Arya came up beside him and nosed at his hand.

“She’s gone, buddy,” he said in a low voice. “I guess she couldn’t stay here any longer.”

Anger surged through him. Not so much at her, but at the situation. What if her ex found her? What if he traced her to her destination and hurt her? Matt had to push away the panic, but he knew the fear was justified. Sam was a dangerous man—so why had Holly left in the first place?

He tried calling her, but he got no answer. He left a voicemail—Please call me back right away—and then sent her a text asking her to do the same. Finally, unable to calm himself, he got dressed, grabbed his gear, and set off to find her.

Driving to the main road, he stopped to see if he could tell which direction she’d gone, but there were too many tracks already in the snow. He decided to go north, which had been her original direction in the first place. This country road lasted for some miles before branching out into two highways: one that continued north, and the other that went east or west. Would she still continue on to Kansas City, or would she try another route?

Gripping the steering wheel, Matt only prayed that he caught up to her before her ex did.