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65. Just be James
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2024-05-17 00:18:36Related chapters
Hockey Alphas - Pawns For Pucks 66. At Least Midnight
The rest of the night followed the same chaotic rhythm. Was this their norm? It sure seemed like it.One of the staff, clearly aware of how much teenage boys can eat, brought in stacks of pizza. These guys devoured it, and I did my best to keep up. At this rate, I'd gain weight in more places than just my chest.Jules tossed me a thick pair of pajamas and an obviously old long-sleeve shirt, teasing, "You'll need these. It's gonna be freezing tonight." I snorted. "Does the house get that cold?" He smirked, "That and those cots aren't really made for sharing." Adrien shot him a look but kept silent.I headed to the bathroom to change, feeling odd about not putting my Knight hoodie back on. When I emerged, I told Jules I liked the PJs. "Keep them," he shrugged. "They don't fit me anymore."Was I going to end up with clothes from all of them? It was starting to seem that way. Glancing around at everyone still on their phones, I said, "Damn. I wish we had a chessboard or something. I'm k
Last Updated : 2024-05-19Hockey Alphas - Pawns For Pucks 67. Green Eyes
"You were outside, man," I said, relieved. "Do you remember anything?"Adrien shook his head, still shivering. "No... I just remember falling asleep."Jules looked at me, concern etched on his face. "We need to tell someone. This isn't normal.""Yeah," I agreed, my mind racing. The dream, Adrien's disappearance, felt somehow connected. But for now, getting him warm and safe was the priority.After pulling his cot right in front of the fire, we sat by it, watching Adrien slowly regain warmth and color. Bear handed him coffee, and he sipped it gratefully."You scare..d us, man," Bear said.Adrien managed a weak smile. "Sorry about that."Jules sighed, shaking his head. "Just... don't do it again, alright?"Adrien nodded, the seriousness of the situation sinking in. "I won't. Thanks, guys."We stayed by the fire until the early hours, watching Adrien and ensuring he stayed warm. The adrenaline slowly wore off, leaving us exhausted but alert. I couldn't stop thinking about the dream and
Last Updated : 2024-05-20Hockey Alphas - Pawns For Pucks 68. He Noticed
Adrien got up to shower, leaving me alone in the living room. I wandered around the house, curious about the various items scattered about. Family photos, awards, and achievements filled the walls and shelves. I paused at a large group photo, clearly old, judging by the fashion. It must have been taken over twenty years ago. I scrutinized each face until the floor seemed to drop out from under me, plunging me into a new depth of confusion.My mom was there, staring back at me. My damn mom. She was standing next to a younger version of Coop. I'd always heard I looked exactly like her when she was a teen, but I'd never seen any real proof. Her bio family supposedly didn't care enough to take photos. But there it was, a longer-haired version of me, staring back from the past.I didn't even hear Jules come up behind me. "That's the first photo the academy allowed a graduating group to take," he said."Graduating group?" I asked. Holy shit. My mother went here?I pointed to another f
Last Updated : 2024-05-21Hockey Alphas - Pawns For Pucks 69. Far Beyond
Adrien and I walked back to the dorm room. The power was on, and a few more guys were milling around than before. We climbed the stairs, and at the fifth-floor landing, I paused and looked at him. He smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, I don't want to be alone right now... So..." No surprise. I had already guessed he would do this. I sighed. "Well, come up to my room. I really need to clean before Alec gets back." Adrien followed me up and jumped onto the top bunk, watching me as I started to tidy up. "Are you a neat freak like Alec?" he asked. I snorted. "No, not in the least. But living with one tends to have that effect, I guess." "Yeah, when I roomed with him, he definitely made me cleaner. If a speck of dirty laundry hit the floor, he was mopping in here..." I decided to prod a little. "Yeah, or maybe that's why you keep your clothes so neatly tucked in your hamper now, well, most of the time anyway..." Adrien got a bit flustered. "Dude, okay. I wasn't going to say anything else ab
Last Updated : 2024-05-22Hockey Alphas - Pawns For Pucks 70. Spiraling
I opened my mouth to start explaining, then closed it again. I had no idea what to say. Jules just stood there looking at me, waiting for a denial that wasn't coming. I wasn't going to lie to him anymore. The lies were already getting so tangled that I was having trouble keeping up with them all. This is the very reason it is best not to lie like that in the first place. At least not to the people you really care about.And damnit, I cared about Jules. Another lesson from my grandparents that I will cherish for my entire life. After pacing the room several times while running his good hand through his hair and mumbling, he sat on Bear's bed instead of his own, gesturing for me to join him. Reluctantly, I sat down next to him while maintaining a certain distance. My head was a chaotic mess, pieces of my theoretical board flying around in total disorder.Jules laughed a bit nervously. "Well, fuck man, it isn't exactly the right moment to get all uncomfortable with me, is it? I me
Last Updated : 2024-05-23Hockey Alphas - Pawns For Pucks 71. This Place Changes You
I made my way to Coop's office, my mind racing with questions. The first one was why Coop even had an office here. Yes, he seemingly funded most of the athletic department and such and was even labeled as a professor, yet I haven't seen him teach a single class or do anything that would suggest he was actually a teacher here. "Come in," Coop's voice called from inside.I entered, and Coop looked up from his desk. "James, what can I do for you?""I need answers, Coop," I said. "No more half-truths. I need to know everything about my mom and why she was here."Coop leaned back in his chair, studying me. "Alright, James. Have a seat."I sat down, my heart pounding in my chest. Coop sighed, looking weary. "Your mother was a student in the last co-ed class. She was exceptional, one of the best we ever had.""Why was she here?" I asked."She was here because she was special. The academy was experimenting with integrating from other schools, but it turned out to be more complicated than w
Last Updated : 2024-05-25Hockey Alphas - Pawns For Pucks 72. About the Bond
Leaving Jules sprawled out on his bed, I hesitated before grabbing a pen and scribbling a note. "Come find me when you wake up. We need to talk. -J" I doubted he'd remember any of this by morning, but I couldn't just leave him without some kind of direction. I placed the note next to his pillow, hoping it wouldn’t be ignored in his hungover stupor.I walked back to my dorm. Adrien was sitting on the floor, his back against the wall, knees drawn up, and head resting in his hands. He was so still that I wondered if he had fallen asleep.I touched his arm. "Adrien?"His head snapped up. "Hey...""Did you mean to be here?"He shrugged. "Well, yes and no. I went to sleep in bed, woke up here, and decided to stay because this is obviously where I want to be. This way, I wouldn't fall down the stairs, hopefully."I sighed, too exhausted to dissect his cryptic answer. These boys were needy, and it was so exhausting. "Come on, I'm too tired to worry about you right now. You're just going t
Last Updated : 2024-05-26Hockey Alphas - Pawns For Pucks 73. Identity Crisis
Much to Alec's dismay, I quickly set Kris's chessboard next to the others on the windowsill. It took up the entire space.He whispered, "Do you know how hard it will be to dust that many pieces?" making everyone in the room laugh at him. Kris and Adrien left for the student center, teasing one another about how close their chessboard gifts to me almost matched. Once they were out of sight, I got up and rummaged through my bag. I had something special for Alec, too.I pulled out a package and handed it to him. "Here, this is for you."Alec took the gift in surprise. He unwrapped it to reveal a coffee cup with the words, "You call it OCD, I call it You should have put the shit back where it belongs." Inside the cup was a keychain, similar to the ones I had given Jules, Bear, and Adrien. This one was a knight chess piece made from white and redwood. It was far more detailed and not a gag gift like the others.He laughed when he realized how closely it matched the one he'd carved. "O
Last Updated : 2024-05-27
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Hockey Alphas - Pawns For Pucks 93. Playbook
I stood there frozen for what felt like forever, racing to catch up with what I was seeing. Cam and Jules weren't talking.They were wrapped up in each other. Cam had Jules pressed against the wall, their bodies close, lips locked in a kiss that made it clear this was about more than any argument over me.I took a step back, feeling the awkwardness settle into my bones. This wasn't what I'd expected when I followed them. I intended to walk away, to give them their moment. Then I glanced down and saw Cam's clothes in my hand. Of course, he was still in his boxers. I couldn't just walk away. He was already in trouble. Getting caught kissing a guy in the stairwell, barely dressed, would be his undoing. There is no doubt about that. He couldn't get in trouble and disappear without helping me fix whatever the hell was making random voices constantly whisper in my head. It was tolerable right now, but I had a sneaky suspicion that wouldn't be the case for long. I walked up the stairs a
Hockey Alphas - Pawns For Pucks 92. Weirder
I woke up to the door flying open and crashing against the wall. I jerked upright, struggling to adjust to the dim light assaulted by the bright lights from the hallway. The voices were quieter, even though I could still feel them. Jules stood in the doorway, looking like he was seconds away from tearing the room apart. His chest rose and fell rapidly, and before I could even get a word out, he stormed inside, fury radiating off him.“Cam!” Jules barked, crossing the room in just a few long strides. His energy was wild, dangerous, and aimed directly at Cam.I blinked, trying to catch up. My mind was jumbled, especially when I glanced over and saw Cam. He was sitting on the edge of the desk. Shirtless.Just sitting there, like it was the most natural thing in the world to be in nothing but his boxers. The sight threw me off, but his bed made my head spin. Cam’s bed was perfectly made, neat and untouched. Mine wasn’t.Or rather, the bed I was in wasn’t.I barely had time to process an
Hockey Alphas - Pawns For Pucks 91. Smelled Good
The cold air bit through my skin, chilling me to the bone, but I didn't care. I sat on the steps outside the dorm, legs pulled up, arms wrapped tight around them, trying to keep myself together. It was freezing, but it wasn't the cold that had me shaking. It was the voices.“Jamie… Jamie…”They whispered repeatedly, the name grating at me like nails on glass. My real name. A name that didn't feel like mine anymore. I hadn't been Jamie in a long time.But the voices wouldn't stop."You're not who you say you are."It kept going relentlessly, pushing against my skull. My thoughts tangled up in themselves, a knot I couldn't untie. They were loud, louder than anything I could handle. And they weren't just words.They were pulling at something deeper. My insecurities, my secrets, things I'd buried long ago.I wasn't Jamie anymore. I'd changed. I had to. I wasn't that scared girl hiding in the shadows, pretending to fit into a world that would never accept her. Not anymore. But the vo
Hockey Alphas - Pawns For Pucks 90.
( CAM POV ) The night of the dance was still burned into my memory. It had started off innocent enough—awkward conversations, forced smiles, and that strange, tense feeling of being out of place. I'd gone with some girl from my class, though I can't even remember her name now. We barely spoke. I didn't care to impress her, didn't care to dance. I spent most of the night wondering why I was even there.Then Jules found me.I'd known him for a while, but we weren't exactly close. He was one of those guys who radiated confidence without trying. Everyone liked him. He was different, though. He wasn't pretending like everyone else at the dance. He didn't have to force anything.When he approached me, it was late, and most of the crowd had already left. We ended up outside, sitting by the field, where no one could see us. The stars were out, scattered across the sky like they had a purpose.Something I felt like I lacked.We didn't talk much, just sat there, staring out into the dark. Th
Hockey Alphas - Pawns For Pucks 89. Boy-war?
Alec, Kris, Bear, and I sat near the back of french class, barely keeping it together. Kris was the only one who wasn’t struggling. He had this uncanny knack for getting every pronunciation right, even with the most tongue-twisting words. I slouched in my chair, staring at the chalkboard. The teacher had written a list of words, each more difficult than the last. “Oeil,” “Bouilloire,” “Rouge-gorge.” She was pacing in front of the class, listening to us mangle each one as we tried to sound them out. Kris, of course, had breezed through them. Bear and I? Not so much.“James, try again,” the teacher said, her voice soft but with that edge that made you feel like you were disappointing her. “It’s ‘oeil,’ not ‘oil.’ You have to use the back of your throat more.”I sighed. “Uh... Ool?”The teacher winced, like I’d just stepped on her favorite pet. Kris smirked from beside me, barely holding back a laugh, and Bear gave me an exaggerated shrug.“Close enough,” she said, though I could tell
Hockey Alphas - Pawns For Pucks 88. Secrets
It had been a couple of days since everything about Cam came to light, but the shock hadn't worn off. The team was still uneasy around each other, and every conversation felt forced, like we were all walking on eggshells. Cam had been allowed to stay at the school and on the team under certain conditions.Strict ones. Dean Carrigan laid it out pretty clearly. Cam wasn't allowed to leave campus or go into the woods where we used to run drills. He had to move permanently into the dorms, too. No going home for breaks, no visiting family. It was like the school had put him under house arrest.I wasn't sure how I felt about it. On one hand, Cam deserved consequences for the deception, but something didn't sit right with me. It became obvious pretty quickly that he was struggling with more than just losing his powers. The necklace that had been the source of his magic wasn't just making him look perfect.It was doing something else, something deeper. At first, I thought it was just physi
Hockey Alphas - Pawns For Pucks 87. Perfect
Wanda glanced between Bear and me. She must have noticed the exhaustion, the confusion on my face. She rubbed her eyes, then turned to Bear."You're fine," she said, motioning toward the door. "Go back to your dorm, rest up. No need to worry. If you need emotional support, let me know." Bear huffed, then nodded and left. He didn't like being a part of the drama, and he had somehow got sucked in. Wanda turned to me as the door closed behind him, her demeanor shifting instantly. This wasn't just a check-up anymore. She pulled up a chair and sat across from me."Jamie," she started. "We need to talk." I straightened up, bracing myself."You've been through a lot today," she continued. "But there's something we need to address. Cameron."The betrayal was still fresh. I nodded for her to continue."I've known Cam since he was about ten," Wanda said. "Back then, he was just a normal kid. Quiet, kept to himself. But after one break, he came back different. Perfect. Too perfect. It wasn't
Hockey Alphas - Pawns For Pucks 86. Even
Dean Carrigan pulled the curtain aside with a sharp motion, grabbing the person tangled beneath it. I braced myself, fully expecting to see Whitaker. For him to team up with the Dean to expose my secret to the entire school of boys.But...It wasn't him. It wasn't Whitaker at all.Dark, messy hair covered a face dotted with acne.A face I knew all too well. The stained t-shirt and baggy khaki shorts were familiar. I'd seen them recently. My heart seemed to freeze as the realization sank in.It was Cameron. I struggled to piece it all together. How could it be Cam? This was the last thing I expected.Carrigan didn't pause, didn't hesitate for a second. He yanked Cam up by the front of his shirt, lifting him until they were eye to eye. "Cameron!" Carrigan barked. "You crossed a line with this nonsense, son! You, of all people, should understand how important today is, yet you choose to cause chaos. Just like last year."Cam didn't fight back. He didn't struggle or resist. He just sto
Hockey Alphas - Pawns For Pucks 85. Blurring the Lines
The curtain that separated the regular gym from the rest had been pulled across to serve as a background for the stage they had set up to speak from.I was pinned against the wall, right beside where the curtain met the gym wall. Just on the other side was the entire student body of IronCrest. If Whitaker exposed me, it would be in front of the whole school. My heart pounded against my already constricted chest. This couldn't be happening.Not here, not now.Whitaker loomed over me, his fingers hovered over the top button of my jacket. "I've been watching you for a while, James," he said, slowly undoing the first button. "There's something about you… something I just can't quite put my finger on.""Funny," I shot back, trying to keep steady despite the panic. "I've only seen you once."He smirked, and it made my skin crawl. It was oddly familiar, but I was so panicked my mind was racing too fast to piece together where. "I'm always in the shadows, James. It's where I do my best work.
