Chapter 05

LILITH

The bed was so soft I couldn't help but curl under the covers and let sleep pull me under. He did say that I could make myself at home. It didn't seem like anyone had been doing much of that around here lately. The bedroom had themes of red. Not just any red — crimson. The color reminded me of blood which had me cringing. I figured that this was another one of Dimitri's places that were left to Julian, but I didn't understand why.

What was so special about Julian?

I stirred from my sleep as the thought nagged me awake. Then stilled when something sweet and earthy tickled my senses. Julian did say he would be back by dawn. That must have meant he let me sleep through the night. The tang of blood assaulted my nose which had my muscles locking.

"I know you're awake," he called in a monotonous voice.

Why was he even in here? Couldn't he wait in the living room like any normal person?

I pushed myself up, resting my back against the headboard and covering my body with the sheet. After taking a shower last night, I slipped into bed because my body was too exhausted from the shift. That resulted in me still being stark naked. I had no problems with nudity — not because I was a werewolf but because of the line of work I decided to pursue — but with Julian, it was obviously different.

He sat in front of me on a Victorian-style armchair that made him look like a King on his throne. A crystal glass was in his hand, half-filled with blood. I cringed, lips curling in disgust. It was the only substance that he needed to aid him in his survival, that didn't mean I didn't find it repulsive. My stomach churned when he brought the glass to his lips, tipping it back. He clenched his jaw as if he were forcing himself to swallow it.

"Couldn't you have your breakfast out there?" I quipped, pointing at the bedroom door which was open by a crack. The entire apartment looked to be bathed in darkness. The thick curtains soaking up the sunlight.

"Am I bothering you?" He asked, arching an eyebrow. His ivory teeth were stained red.

I could barely stop myself from shuddering, "Yeah, it is bothering me."

"Would it bother you less if I said it wasn't human?"

"It's not?" I inhaled deeply realizing it didn't have the same notes human blood would but it didn't smell like animal blood either.

What type of freaky ass blood was this guy into drinking?

"Nope," he tipped the rest of the blood back, slamming the crystal class on the table in front of him. Julian ran his tongue over his teeth, leaving behind a sparkling white surface that was no longer stained with sticky blood.

"Are you going to tell me what blood it was then?" I quizzed, holding the red silk sheet tighter against my skin. His white irises never once dipped down my frame. I was both offended and pleased by that. As his mate, I naturally craved his attention and lust was definitely part of the bond, but as a woman, I wanted to be respected.

"That's none of your concern," he murmured, standing to his feet in a blur, "I retrieved your belongings," he ran across the room at his vampire speed so I wasn't certain where he went but I knew he somehow stood at my side with my things in hand, "there was only this coat and your handbag."

"That's all I brought in last night, thanks," I offered him a tight smile, reaching out for my things when he moved across the room again with his vampire speed.

He was now seated on the chair again, my coat and handbag hanging off the back, "No shoes?" Julian mused.

"My shoes are in the bag."

"And clothes?"

"That's what the coat is for," I deadpanned, "who's going to know I have not a stitch of clothing underneath that trench coat? It just makes changing easier and you've seen where I stay. It's not that far from the club."

"What's a rogue like you doing around here anyway?" Interest leaked into Julian's voice. He leaned forward, resting his elbows onto the knees of his spread legs and placing his chin onto his clasped hands. Those white orbs of his swirled with blue, captivating me instantly.

"I'm making an honest living," I answered truthfully because I had to reason to lie or to hide that part of me from him — from anyone, "I earn the money I make and I use it to support myself. To get through day after day."

"Why not just live off the lands in your wolf. It's more affordable and has to be easier than this," his eyebrows dipped, creases forming in the middle and for some reason, I found his perplexed face adorable.

"Let's put it this way, I'm not boujee but I refuse to eat a raw animal or hunt one," goosebumps littered my skin at the thought. I couldn't picture myself doing something like that but it came naturally once you were in wolf form.

Julian's lips kicked up, "It's the hunt I enjoy most," he chuckled darkly, a malice glint sparkling in his eyes, "and if you do it right, it can be quite rewarding."

"That's gross, and it's worse knowing that you're talking about human beings that way," I ran my fingers through my lilac strands, bringing them around to curtain me. They needed to be re-done but I didn't have the time.

"The transition from one species to another desensitizes you," Julian's face was blank as he said this, masking his true emotions on the topic.

"I shift from a human to a wolf, that doesn't happen to me."

"You barely spend time in your wolf form to allow your wolf instincts to kick in. Trust me, if you did, you wouldn't find hunting and eating animals gross," he paused, the muscles in his jaw twitching as if he figured something out, "but that's why you don't shift. You don't want to do those things because you don't want to equate yourself to a monster."

I looked away shamefully, my head turning as if he had slapped me across the face. And he did, it wasn't with his hands but with his words. They were so true I couldn't deny them. I didn't want to be a monster.

"Wolves that live in packs are different. They aren't monsters. At least, that's what I've seen," he whispered the last part.

"Do I strike you as a girl who wants to follow every rule an Alpha makes?"

"No," he was standing at the foot of the bed in a blink of an eye, "you strike me as the girl that believes rules are made to be broken," he cocked his head to the side, gaining my attention, "that only leaves one question then."

"What's that?" I pulled the corner of my bottom lip between my teeth and bit down on it.

His eyes narrowed, falling for a split second onto my lips, "Were you born a rogue, or were you kicked out of your pack at a young age because of this rebellious behavior?"

"What if I said it's neither?" I breathed, "because there is a third option."

"Are you going to tell me about it or are you going to make me guess?"

"Neither," I brought my knees up to my chest and curled into a ball, "I don't want to talk about it and it's not really any of your business, is it?"

"Fair enough," he hesitantly moved to sit at the edge of the four-poster bed. When he realized I wasn't going to stop him, he rested his back on one of the posts and sighed, "you never answered my question from last night. Why do you smell...good. No werewolf smells good, not unless they're a half-blood but I don't get the urge to drink your blood. Just to constantly be around you."

He was a vampire. I didn't expect him to understand. Most vampires hardly came into contact with werewolves. They didn't know a thing about the mate bond and how it tied two halves of the same soul together. They had the chance to pick their own mates while we had mates chosen for us.

The only two vampires that I knew skipped the rule were Ambrosia and Dimitri. When they were turned, they each shared a similar mark — one that determined that they would be the future King and Queen of their kind. Naturally, they ended up together and they loved one another fiercely.

Also, I had never heard of a werewolf being mated outside of its species. This was something brand new. I had to tell him, though, and now was the best time. There could be no other way to explain why he found my scent appealing.

I inhaled, held my breath for a few calming beats, and then let it go, "I think—" I cut myself off, shaking my head, "I know it's because of something I've only seen within the werewolf species."

"Go on," he grimaced, folding his arms over his chest.

"I don't know how this is possible or why but..." I held his gaze, hesitating only for a short moment, "I'm almost certain you're my mate."

His jaw set, lips pressing into a hard line as he gritted the word, "No," he went on to say the words, "I'm not a wolf, I can't be your mate. I don't even want someone to begin with. I'm just fine on my own."

He looked mad. More than mad. Pissed.

"Julian," I breathed, feeling the pain of rejection capture my heart. It was a stabbing pain. I just hoped he didn't say the words to sever the bond. There was no way I would survive that.

He might, he was a vampire with a heart that failed to beat. I wasn't even certain he had a soul, to begin with. He was technically on the dead side of things.

He clenched his fists into his hair, a deep growl rumbling in his chest, "It's not possible, Lilith."

It was the first time he said my name and it was laced with so much disdain. I clamped my jaw shut, fighting back the tears welling in my eyes. No, I wasn't going to cry. If he wanted to sever the bond between us, I wasn't going to stop him. This was his choice as much as it was mine — and I was still on the fence about it.

"It is possible. It's what ties you to me. Why do you think you came running last night when I was in pain or why your attention was on me the moment you set foot into the club. Tell me you didn't feel the sparks between us when your hand brushed my cheek that night or when you carried me last night."

He was silent, deadly silent. Julian probably stopped breathing altogether. I could hear his teeth grating, scraping against each other like claws running over a blackboard. His silence scared me. I wanted to know what was going through his head.

"I can reject you," he voiced and the knife in my heart twisted excruciatingly, "that will separate us."

"It will."

"But there's a possibility that you would die. I know wolves that survived being rejected and I know one that has a second chance mate. You'll find someone else."

"There's no exact science on how this works but if we're talking statistics," I threw my legs over the edge of the bed and stood, keeping the sheets around me as I made my way to my coat. Dropping the sheet, I quickly shrugged the coat on and tied the belt, "there's a higher possibility that I would die. Once you've met your mate, no one else will be able to fill the gaping hole in your heart."

I opened my handbag, pulled out my black pumps, and slipped them on. The best thing I could give Julian right now was space and if he did follow through with rejecting me, then I needed to be ready to get the hell out of here. I was not going to break down in front of him.

"Answer me honestly," he practically demanded which earned him a scowl from me.

I didn't like people thinking they could order be around but I didn't want to piss off the already confused vampire

"Do you want me as a mate? Someone like me?" He ran up to me with his vampire speed, bringing his face to mine and showing me his sharp fangs, "I've killed too many people in a very short span of time and don't think for one minute I regret it." Julian retracted his fangs and I gulped the rising bile of fear clogging my throat, "You don't want to be a monster. I am one. Do you think you can love someone like me? Something you despise so much so that you would suppress a part of you so you would never become one? I'm not just a monster, Lilith. I'm a vampire."

"I..." I stepped back, securing my handbag onto my shoulder, "I don't think I can answer that, Julian. I barely know you. It's not like I'm going to love you overnight either way."

He looked taken aback by my response and the confusion riddling his face deepened, "That's not a direct no."

"Just because you never wanted a mate it doesn't mean I never wanted one," I muttered, making my way out of the room, "I guess, I'll see you tonight," I called, knowing full well that he wouldn't be able to follow me into the daylight that awaited me outside of this apartment building.