10

Better to have loved and lost than to have not loved at all.

Chapter Ten

N O E L

"NOEL, WHY ARE you so late?" My mum shouted.

"I overslept. I overslept!" I screamed coming down the stairs why struggling to put on my converse, I missed a step and soon I was sent tumbling down the stairs. "Ow."

"Are you ok?" My mum said materializing in front of me fully clothed.

"You look beautiful," I groaned getting an upside-down vision of her.

"Thank you," she said curtsying, "I have to look presentable."

"You got the job yet?" I asked pulling myself up and hearing something snap back to place.

"No," her face fell as she walked back to the counter, "tip for you and other youngsters, major in something more productive than history."

I tried not to laugh, "Mum people who majored in history are somewhat successful."

"Yep because they didn't start looking for a Job at 44," she dropped her head to the counter dejectedly.

"Mum you're still young and pretty. You'll get it," I encouraged her hoping I was right.

She looked up and smiled at me, "um...aren't you late?"

"Oh my gosh!" I said in horror as I started running around once more. I put in my beanie on my knotted limply hair. I was too late to run a brush through it. I grabbed a banana. "Bye mom."

"Bye Darling," she yells at me just as I'm shutting the door. I start running hoping to get to school and my class in three minutes time.

"Well aren't you--," I stop in my tracks at the sound of Jesse's voice. I see him seated on his bike, his eyes scanning me, "decent and punctual."

I look at me confused and I see that the two buttons of my top were open. I frown at him and button it up. "I'm late," I declared the obvious.

"I know... I mean I think the whole neighborhood knows with the way you were shouting and stomping around." He said with a smirk.

I awkwardly tucked a loose strand of hair behind me, "well sorry about that...got to run."

"I could take you," he says quickly before I ran off.

"On your bike?" I ask relived that there is a slight chance that I won't get detention.

"Mm... that was my initial thought but my bed would work too," he said showcasing his really white teeth.

I roll my eyes and walk to him, "helmet?"

"Aren't you a bit scared?" He asked giving me a helmet.

"Nope," I say putting it on and climbing onto the bike easily. I should probably not let him know that Aaron had already put me through this.

"Hmm, someone's a big girl. Hold on tight." He doesn't put on a helmet and he starts the bike. I wrap my arms around his waist and the bike roared to life before zooming off.

I couldn't help but think about my first time on a bike, the reason I wasn't scared of bikes anymore-- Aaron. I smiled. I've been thinking a lot about Aaron lately. Bits by bits, here and there he always finds a way to pop into my head. I don't know what that means or where that puts us. I obviously don't still hate him so...do I like him now?

I can't, if I like him. If I so much as give him a chance to be my friend then I also give him a chance to hurt me or give me a chance to hurt him. I don't want that, I really don't. Being alone saves me all the trouble, that's what I wanted but how's that going for me, definitely not as planned. Plus I'm currently riding to school on my neighbors’ motorcycle. Who the hell am I?

We reach school in record time. Jesse drives like a maniac, yes I'm no more as scared as I was before concerning bike riding but I'm still scared. Somehow Jesse brought that fear back; it was all gone when I was riding with Aaron. It was comfortable, it was safe. That can also be because Aaron drives safer than Jesse. Way safer.

"Can you read at all? You drove past the speed limit," I say shaking as I got off the bike, thank God I didn't have breakfast else I would have puked it all up.

He shrugged, "you were late. Let's call that saving the damsel in distress."

"You're insane and I'm still late so bye," I walked away before stopping to look for Aaron, I didn't see him or his car, "guess Aaron is late too." I hurried to my class but there was no saving me, I was already as late, as late can be. I stood by the doorway embarrassed to step a foot in.

"Come in Atkins," Ms Jenkins says and I roll my eyes. She's a witch, definitely a witch. I step foot inside, trying to hide my face. "You're late, again."

I look up to see her stern face and I'm about to come up with a lie about how I was run over by a baby stroller when she cut me off. "Before you think of excusing yourself, just keep in mind that this is the second time. Third time and it's detention for you miss."

I nod wordlessly, she motions to my seat and I slowly walk to it. Nadine gives me a sympathy smile as I rest my butt down. I think we're talking about Macbeth but I'm not totally sure. My neck grows control of itself as it turns to look at Aaron's seat.

It’s empty. My face falls as I turn back to the board. "I guess no note tossing or anything today," I grumble to myself.

"Pardon, Noel?" Ms Jenkins asked.

I look around, "uh...nothing."

"You have something to add? Please add something," she says drawing me to the spotlight.

"Um.." I look around standing up to my feet; no one seems to come to my aid. Even Nadine is flipping through her textbook. "Heh...Macbeth..."

"Yes?" She urged folding her hands in front of her.

I nod, "Okay, so now we're certain that its Macbeth," The whole class starts laughing and I look up to see Ms Jenkins scowl. I smile sheepishly, that was intended to be heard by me and me alone.

She's about to say something when the door opens up and Jesse walks in... Alone.

"Donovan," Ms Jenkins says turning to him. I use the opportunity to slowly seat my butt down again.

"That's my name," he says raising his hand up and walking to his seat.

"You're late and alone," she says observing what I already observed.

"Yea...that's how I came to mother earth--- alone. Although I think I had a twin in the womb with me but umm....it was rock paper scissors and guess who won," He raised his hands up winking at Ms Jenkins, "Me."

Ms Jenkins cheeks redden a little but it goes away immediately, my jaw drop slightly. Wow, Seriously? “I'm talking about...” She starts saying but is cut off by Jesse again.

"But if you're talking about AL, he's... he's..." He closes his eyes with his hands and makes sobbing sounds.

Nadine touches me but I'm so interested in what Jesse wants to say, she hits me and I turn to her wondering what's more important than Aaron's whereabouts. She mouths, "And this is how a class period gets wasted."

I chuckle turning back to Jesse, he is faking tears and we don't get to hear what he wants to say until the bell goes off. Ms Jenkins walks back to her seat with a scowl. I pack my things unsatisfied.

I wait till Jesse's about to leave the class then I get up too, "So where's Aaron?" I try to ask as subtle as I can, I don’t think I succeeded.

"He's sleeping, rough practice this morning," He says.

I nod, walking ahead of him. "Wait, why do you care Christmas?" He asked.

I shrug, "Nothing, just mere curiosity." He gives me a look then nods. I walk out heading to my next class.

*

Lunch rolls by quickly and I was so hungry even though I slyly ate my banana during Math class. I take my burger and fries lunch and go seat on my seat which is now by the group. I take my seat and start eating before I notice that the table has gone silent on my arrival. I look up and everybody's eyes are on me including Raymond. "What?" I ask chewing on a fry. "You guys have never seen a hungry girl before?"

"Are you seriously not going to spill?" Nadine asked.

I sit up straight swallowing, "Spill what?"

Peyton adjusts her glasses, "Well the walls have it that you arrived school today riding on a bike with Jesse Donovan, the Jesse Donovan."

"Yeah, so?" I ask and they all look at me like I have two heads. "Ok guys I'm obviously missing the point here." I touch my head just to be sure that it's still one.

"This is Jesse Donovan, second hottest boy in the school, bad boy who doesn't give a fuck about others... How...how do you even know him?" Nadine asks, eye wide.

"He's my neighbor, he lives next door." I say

"What?!" They all shout.

"Ok guys, take a chill pill." I say surprised at their reactions.

"I think that's stoners talk," Luke mutters his arm draped around Liv's shoulder.

"First  Aaron and now Jesse. What's it about Californian girls?" Liv says smiling at me.

"Hottest around the globe," I say to her smirking and we start laughing.

"Let's have a sleep over," Nadine says grabbing my hand.

"Do you have a free room in your house? Ok scratch free room, let me rent the couch," Peyton says.

"AL and Jesse are so close, it's like they practically live in each other houses, you're so damn lucky."  Nadine says again.

I'm about to say something but Peyton interrupts me as she whisper yell "oh my pizza, they're here."

We all turn around to see Jesse and Aaron walk into the cafeteria. A faint smile plays on my lips as I see Aaron; he's looking as handsome as ever. His hair looks like a really attractive bed hair and his face looks bored but he still looks as handsome as ever. He doesn't see me. He and Jesse order their food and take a seat.

I look away scolding myself. I shouldn't be behaving like this I wonder what's wrong with me. Ok so he took me to an after homecoming dance, we had the fun of our lives. After that he escorted me back home, under the pretty stars. He kept calling me a princess and made me laugh a lot. Then he dropped me by my door and waited till my room light turned on and off again. He did all that and it was really sweet, so what? Guys do that all the time, right?

My phone beeps with a text and I open it to see that I got a text from, dumb face.

Df~ I can see you.

I look up and sure enough he was looking at me. Even from across the cafeteria he still made my heart flip weirdly. I smiled at him and he smiled back, then Nadine hits my leg and I'm broken from whatever trance Aaron is putting me in.

Me~ good for you. That just means your eyes are still working.

I tuck my phone away trying to end whatever madness is stirring inside me.

Lunch ends in silence and Nadine and I walk out, the rest going their different ways.

"I'm afraid for you," Nadine says.

"What why?" I ask her confused. Am I dying?

"I think you're falling into something that's not going to end up well," She says.

"Ok stop speaking in juju language please."

"Aaron, hanging out with Jesse, then I saw the smiles you were exchanging with AL. Not cool." Nadine says.

I laugh it off my cheeks reddening, "oh that was nothing."

"Aaron and Jesse are playboys, its either they don't give a damn about you or they do and break your heart. Remember that day Pey was behaving weirdly?"

I nod, remembering also that she said she'll tell me about it later.

"Well, Pey has a crush on AL. Since like forever, she baked a cake and gave it to him alongside a letter containing all her feelings. He accepted it and Pey was all over the moon. We both went to stalk him in the locker room because everybody knows guys talk girls in the locker room. We heard him hand the cake to his friends saying some 'weird girl' gave it to him. They were also reading the letter among themselves laughing up and down."

"Peyton was crushed and as if that was not enough, the next day there were papers all over the hallway, on the wall and on the school ground. The papers were duplicates of Peyton's heartfelt letter. The headline reading 'Confessions of a desperate girl'."

"Oh my gosh," I said trying to imagine what Peyton must have passed through.

"It's been over a year now, it took two weeks for that to die down and it took the grace of God for Peyton not to cross the Atlantis and go live on the North Pole," Nadine says then sighs. "People say they are good people, everybody loves and adore them. Including me when I don't remember what happened last year...I just want you to be careful."

"Thanks Nadine, but nothing is going on with me and Aaron," or at least I'll make sure of it.

I guess Aaron isn't as sweet as I thought.