Chapter 4

"Cayden, anak. Come here," tawag ko sa anak ko na ngayon ay maglilimang taong gulang na. We just arrived at the airport in Manila where we plan to live for good. 

Limang taon na ang nakalipas, ang plano ko noon ay manirahan na lamang sa probinsiya ngunit nang mamatay ang Lolo at Lola ko nang magkasunod na taon ay naubos lahat nang perang mayroon ako kaya kinailangan naming lumuwas ng Maynila upang makapagtrabaho ako. 

Maging ang bahay na pagmamay-ari ko rito ay nabenta ko dahil walang-wala na talaga kami. Ang mayroon na lamang ako ngayon ay isang maliit na condominium na sapat lamang para sa aming mag-ina at kakaunting pera na sapat lang para may makain ang anak ko nang isang buwan. 

Nang makarating sa harap ko si Cayden ay agad siyang yumakap sa binti ko habang pinagmamasdan ko ang mga mata niya. 

He got Damon's electric blue eyes- no, he got everything from Damon. He's like his father's carbon copy and I'm afraid he'll know it in just one glance. 

If I just just have any other choice hindi ko dadalhin ang anak ko rito pero ayoko namang mamatay siya sa gutom sa probinsiya. Nangako akong bibigyan ko siya ng magandang buhay kahit wala siyang tatay pero hindi ko 'yon magagawa kung hindi ako magtatrabaho. 

"Mommy, up!" Sambit niya habang nakataas ang mga kamay at nagpapakarga sa akin. 

"Cayden, I thought you're a big boy na? I can't carry you right now baby, I'm carrying our things," I explained to him and he seemed to got what I mean and just walked until we got out of the airport and hailed at taxi to take us where we'll stay. 

May nagrekomenda sa akin an isang kaibigan sa kompanyang pinagtatrabahuhan niya. Naghahanap daw ang CEO nila ng sekretarya and I'm planning to apply there. Kahit papaano ay may experience ako sa pagiging secretary kaya alam kong kaya ko ang trabahong 'yon. 

Kukuha na muna ako ng mag-aalala sa anak ko pansamantala dahil ayoko naman na maiwan siyang mag-isa. I know I don't have that much money but it would still be better to hire a nanny for a while at may kilala akong mapagkakatiwalaan ko sa anak ko. 

As much as I don't want leave him and just stay with him all day, I can't do that. I need to work for his future and for him to live. 

Kinabukasan ay pumunta ako sa sinasabi ni Jessica na kumpanya para sa interview at nagpapasalamat naman ako na natanggap ako kaagad kahit na napakarami ang nag-aapply para sa posisyong 'yon. 

"Congratulations, Ms. Alcantara, you can't start tomorrow morning and I'm the one who will teach you what you need to know ang where you'll start," the woman who interviewed me congratulated me but before I can even thank her, a man entered the room and there my whole world stop as if I was statued in my place. 

"Is she my new secretary?" He asked while eyeing me but I can't even look at him back. 

Pero teka- sekretarya niya? Oh, shit! I almost forgot that this is one of his companies. What have I done? Napakatanga mo, Maria! Pano na? I can't turn back now. 

"Yes, sir. She's Thea Marie Alcantara," pagpapakilala niya sa akin habang nakayuko lamang ako. 

"You look familiar, Ms. Alcantara. Have we met before?" He asked and I immediately shook my head. 

"No, sir." Thank God I managed to answer him without stuttering. 

Ilang sandali lamang ay umalis na siya at gayon din ako. 

Hindi ko napansin na nakauwi na pala ako sa sobrang nerbiyos at doon ako sinalubong ng anak ko na binabantayan ni Alyana, ang pinsan ni Jessica na siyang kinuha ko upang maging yaya ni Cayden. 

"Mommy! Your back!" Cayden greeted me and hugged me tightly and so did I. 

"Yes, anak. Are you a good boy while I'm away?" 

"Yes, mommy. I played toys with tita Alyana and read books," sagot niya at ginulo ko naman ang buhok niya. 

My son loves reading books that's not for his age. He's just too advanced and I guess he got it from his dad. 

There were times that he's looking for his father. I know it's normal especially when he sees kids being accompanied by their father. Naaawa ako sa kanya sa tuwing pinagmamasdan niya ang isang buong pamilya na kahit kailan ay hindi ko maibibigay sa kanya. 

Kahit pa gustuhin ko ay natatakot ako dahil alam kong hindi niya matatanggap si Cayden at kung tanggapin man niya, alam kong ilalayo niya sa'kin ang anak ko at hindi ko 'yon makakaya.

Selfish ba ako? Walang na ba akong kwenta ina dahil sa kagustuhan kong itago si Cayden sa kaniyang ama?

Alam kong napapansin niya na sa tuwing tinatanong niya sa'kin ang tungkol sa ama niya ay may takot na makikita sa mga mata ko kaya kung minsan ay pinipigilan niya ang sarili niyang magtanong. Alam kong hindi ko maitatago sa kaniya ang totoo at balang araw ay makikilala niya ang ama niya pero wag muna ngayon... Hindi ko pa kaya... I can't lose my son... I can't lose my only hope and reason to live in this fucked up world. 

I kissed him on his forehead while he's humming a song. Nakaupo siya sa binti ko at naglalambing. 

"Do you want to go to the mall? Well buy you some toys and books," I said excitedly and he was as excited as I am. 

"Yey! I want lots of books!" He shouted and glee and we immediately hailed a cab to bring us to the mall and just asked Alyana to cook some dinner for us while we're gone. 

Dumiretso agad kami sa bookstore imbes na bumili ng laruan. Cayden prefers books than toys, pagkatapos ay bumili kami ng ice cream nang makakita siya nito. 

"Stay here, okay?" Bilin ko sa kanya habang pinapaupo siya sa bench dahil bibili muna ako ng ice cream na nirerequest niya. Malapit lang naman at makikita ko kung aalis siya habang bumibili ako kaya naman hindi ako nabahala na baka umalis siya. 

Bumili ako ng isang cookies and cream pero halos mabitawan ko ang hawak ko nang makita kung sino ang kasama ni Cayden. 

"Mommy!" Tawag niya sa'kin habang nakangiti kaya lakad takbo akong pumunta sa kaniya para lamang malayo siya kay Damon. "Mommy, look! We have the same eyes! Isn't it awesome?" He said while pointing at Damon's eyes. 

"He's your son?" He asked me. 

"Uh... Yes, sir. Excuse me, we have to go now," I answered him and pulled Cayden towards me. I immediately carried him and brought him outside, trying to take him away from his father as much as possible. 

"Mommy, where are we going?" He asked me curiously because I know he can see that I'm acting weird. 

"Uuwi na muna tayo anak. We'll just come back some other time, okay? Mommy have something to do for work," paliwanag ko sa kanya at tumango naman siya. 

"Do you know that guy, mommy? We have the same eye color and he seems kind," he asked and even though that's an innocent question, I still can't help but to feel afraid- this is what I'm avoiding to happen but now it did. I just hope that he won't remember me just because he saw Cayden. 

"He's my boss, anak. But why did you talk to him? Didn't I told you to not talk to stranger?" 

"I'm sorry Mommy, he was just asking whom I'm with because he thought I'm alone," he apologized. Nakonsensiya naman ako dahil wala naman siyang kasalanan. Masyado lang akong paranoid dahil ayokong mapunta kami sa sitwasyon na kinatatakutan ko. 

Calm down, Maria. Wala siyang alam... Hindi niya malalaman ang sikreto mo... He won't know that you're hiding his son- that you're hiding the billionaire's heir.