Chapter 6 - Katie/Mark

Katie POV

I press my lips together as I look at the opening in my young patient’s abdomen.  This should have been a simple procedure, but a long one.  Unfortunately, nothing has been easy tonight.  It is almost like the world is out to get me after the rough day I previously had. 

I don’t want to lose another patient this week.  I don’t know if I can bear two in one week. 

My nose itches behind the mask.  My lip instantly twitches, trying to get relief. 

My hands stop in midair as the itching gets worse.  Is someone talking about me?  Or is the saying someone is thinking about you?  Whatever it is, I hope this itching stops soon.  A child’s life hangs in the balance right now, and I need to keep my focus on him.

From the other side of the operating table, a nurse looks at me.  Confusion circles around in her eyes as she asks, “Katie, are you alright?  Is something wrong?”

I quickly shake my head and proceed with what I was doing.  “No.  Nothing is wrong.  My nose is itching, nothing else.”

Another nurse steps up beside me with a cloth and wipes the sweat off my forehead. 

I turn my full attention back to the surgery and the small boy.  An image of Mark and his playful smile suddenly pops into my head.  Why am I thinking of him right now? 

I push it out of my mind and concentrate on saving my patient.

If this keeps up, I might need to ask for some extra cuddle time with my little man tonight when I get back home.   

***

Mark POV

My heart aches, and I yearn to be with her.  Why did I not come sooner? 

My eyes glisten.  I’m torn between a feeling of overwhelming love and feeling like the scum of the Earth for not being here with her. 

I browse through the list of pictures and videos, not knowing which one to open next.  I want to see Katie’s doctor’s appointments while she was pregnant, but my eyes stop on a file labeled Casper’s birth.  My finger instantly clicks on the file and a frightened but happy and very pregnant Katie appears on the screen.

Even in her state, she is still cute and adorable.  My heart twists.  I wish I was there.

Katie waddles along the outside of the hospital as Shane suddenly asks, “Are you ready?  Today is the day your baby is born.  I haven’t asked, but do you have a name picked out yet?”

Her fears seem to fade away as she smiles and looks directly into the camera.  “Yes.  His name is going to be Casper.  Hey, was your girlfriend coming?  I know you can’t stand the sight of blood, and I want someone to record the birth, so his father can see it one day.”

“Ah, no.  We broke up a couple of days ago.”  His voice lowers and is filled with pain. 

Katie immediately frowns.  She rubs the smile of her protruding belly and glances at the camera.  “What happened this time?”

“She cheated on me with some dude at her work.  I just can’t seem to find a girl who doesn’t treat me like shit.  I don’t understand.  I always treat my girlfriends nice, but I seem to only attract girls who want to break me.”  His sadness pulls at my already tortured heart.

She sighs and stops and looks at him over the top of the camera.  Her marble brown eyes hold a confidence which wasn’t there a moment ago.  “Don’t worry.  Okay.  Somewhere out there is someone just waiting for you.”

Shane clears his throat.  “Enough about me.  Let’s get you in the hospital and checked in for your C-section.  We have something more important than my love life to do today.”

Katie instantly flashes a huge smile, and her deep dimples explode.  She looks down at her swollen belly with her hand still caressing along the side of it.  “Yes, we do.  My precious secret is going to be born.” 

Warmth fills my chest as she keeps looking down at her stomach for a few minutes before she softly says, “I wonder who you will look like.  I hope you take after your daddy.  I miss him so much and then I can look at your face and see a little piece of him.”

Shane reaches out and taps her arm.  “I hate to interrupt your moment with your son, but we need to go before we are late for your check-in time.”

I watch in almost a fog as Katie gets registered, and a nurse takes her off to a room to get prepped and ready for the procedure.  I can’t believe how brave she is.  She did this all on her own, but she was still thinking of me the whole time.  Well, you got your wish, Katie.  Casper is the spitting image of me, right down to my personality. 

As I continue to watch, tears slowly roll down my cheeks as the medical staff give Katie an epidural.  Her screams slice right through me.  Not long after, when the first drop of blood appears, Shane rushes out of the room gagging and a nurse takes over his camera duties.

While the doctors work on delivering Casper out, the nurse moves closer to Katie.  “How are you going?  Are you feeling fine?  You still can’t feel anything, right?”

Katie quickly replies, “I’m fine.  I just want to see my baby.  How is he doing?”

Suddenly, a crying fills the air.  “He appears to be doing fine.  The doctor and nurses are going to check him out thoroughly, but do you want to see him before they take him to get examined?”

As tears roll down the side of Katie’s face, she quickly chokes out, “Yes.”

The nurse turns around and records the doctor cutting the umbilical cord. 

What little wall I was using to hold back my emotions comes crumbling down.  An array of emotions slams into me.  I would have given anything to be there next to her to see all this with my own two eyes.  Even though I usually can’t stand seeing blood, for Katie and Casper, I would have choked it down and been in the operating room right beside them. 

Tears flow out of me like a waterfall, and I quietly weep.  I push pause on the video as I stare at my son, who just came into this world. 

A love like no other erupts within me and surges through my body.  I never thought I could love someone this much, but I do. 

As my vision blurs, I slowly reach out to the laptop screen and touch my precious son.  With a trembling voice, I whisper, “Cass, baby, daddy loves you.”

A hand pats me on my shoulder, making my breath hitch.  I reluctantly tear my eyes away from the laptop and look up to find Shane.  His concerned is written all over his face, as a wave of guilt washes over me.  I pull my earbuds out, and Shane gently says, “Now, show her you do.”

As tears continue to stream down my face, I fumble into my pocket and pull out the tiny jewelry box.  Taking a deep breath, I proudly open the box.  “I bought this shortly after that night.  The plan was to wait for her to come back from the internship.  I was going to ask her to date me and then later marry me.  It never crossed my mind she would never return.  I have been prepared for this for six years and she isn’t getting away from me now.  I want us to be a family.”

Shane pats my shoulder and nods.  “Good.”  He then walks away, and I glance back down at the rings. 

My finger slides across the side of the gold band as I softly whisper to myself.  “I came very prepared.  I hope she is willing to accept me.”

I turn back to the video and put my earbuds back in, before clicking play.  I watch as the nurses wrap Casper in a small white sheet and bring him up to Katie’s face.  More tears roll down her face as she whispers, “Perfect.  Just perfect.”

“We will take him to get cleaned up and make sure everything is all right.  The doctors will stitch you back up and you will be wheeled to the recovery area shortly before you are taken to your room.  As long as everything is fine with your baby, we will bring him to your room later.”  The nurse doesn’t wait for a response from Katie before the nurse turns and dashes out of the operating room with our son. 

The look of pure joy on Katie’s face makes my heart pound even more.  I want her here next to me.  I want to hold her in my arms. 

With tears still running down my cheek, I slowly take my earbuds out.  I have missed so much, but Katie has found a way for me to capture a part of it.  Guilt washes over me.  I should have tried harder to find her.

My thoughts are interrupted when Casper runs into the living room, waving his little arms in the air.  “DADDY!!  LOOK!!”