Chapter 4 - Mark

I can’t believe this.  I’m a father. 

I still can’t believe it, but this adorable little boy is my son.  He has the same black hair and dark brown eyes as me, including the slight glimmer of mischief. 

I just can’t take my eyes off him.  

As we leave the daycare with Casper in my arms, my little man suddenly shouts, “Uncle Shane!  Look daddy came!!  Mommy is going to be so happy!”

I rip my focus away from my son and look at the tall man in front of us.  His mouth is gaping wide open, and he stares at me.  He looks about the same age as us but is frozen in place. 

His ID hanging around his neck shows he works at the hospital.  His short blonde hair is slightly messy and frames his tired face and blue eyes.  I’m not the only one who has had a rough day.

Casper claps his tiny hands, while his eyes sparkle with excitement. “Uncle Shane.  I want to tell mommy.  Let’s go tell mommy.”

Shane shakes his head and turns his attention back to my son.  “Sorry, Cass, but mommy has an emergency surgery to do.  I was coming to pick you up.  It is going to be a long procedure, so we should go home and wait for mommy there.  Okay.”

My son goes limp and pouts.  His excitement instantly evaporates as he pushes his lower lip out. 

I choke back a laugh.  How can someone look so adorable while being mad?

Shane tucks his hands into his pockets and looks at me.  “Do you have a car seat, or do you want to ride with me?  Cass can’t ride in a car without one.”

My son twists in my arms and looks up at me.  A faint glow surrounds him as his eyes sparkle again.  “Daddy, ride with Uncle Shane and me.”

Well, I really don’t have a choice here.  Do I?

I flash him a small grin and coo, “Okay.  We are riding with Shane.” 

Wanda walks up beside me and flips her long brown wavy hair over her shoulder.  “We will go get some stuff for dinner and then we will go to the house.  If you don’t mind, Shane.  We have all been eager to see Katie again.”

Casper bounces in my arms.  His tiny arms wave in the air as he blurts out, “Ice cream!”

Laughter fills the air as Wanda nods.  “Don’t worry.  I won’t forget the ice cream.”

Shane shakes his head. He gently taps Casper’s leg and grunts, “You can only have it after you eat your supper.  Remember.”

My son huffs and puts his hands on his hips.  “But mommy eats ice cream before meal.  Why can’t I?”

Shane raises an eyebrow and stares at my son for a few seconds.  “Mommy has already explained how adults can eat ice cream whenever they want, but children must follow what the parent says.  So, it means no ice cream before supper.”

With a look of defeated, Casper whines, “Can I get the same ice cream as mommy?”

Shane shakes his head again.  “Remember, you aren’t allowed to eat mommy’s kind.  Only mommy can eat ice cream with KitKat chunks in it.  Mommy doesn’t want you to have too much sugar.”

My son sinks into my chest and mumbles, “No fair.”  He wraps his arms around my neck and buries his face in my shoulder. 

My heart aches.  Wait.  Did Shane just say that Katie eats ice cream with crushed KitKat candy bars in it? 

I whip my focus back over to Shane as I tentatively ask, “Did you say KitKat is mixed in?”

He stares at me for a moment, almost as if he is trying to figure something out, before he slowly nods.  “Yes.  I don’t understand why, but every time she gets lonely, she goes to the store and gets it.  I don’t think she even realizes she is doing it.  Why?”

From behind me, Izzy gushes, “Wow, Mark.  Katie is even thinking of you now.” 

My stomach flutters.  A faint smile dances across my lips as I look down at my son.  A sense of joy and happiness washes over me.  “I think your mommy has been missing me.”

He covers his mouth with his hand and giggles.  “I think so, too.”

I have never felt so loved in my entire life. 

Shane motions with his head towards the exit and then walks past me. 

When we get out to the parking lot, Shane gives Frank his address while I buckle Casper into his car seat. 

After I close the rear door, I slide my hand into my pocket to make sure the engagement ring is still there.  I know exactly what I’m going to do now.  I’m not going to take no for an answer, and I’m going to make sure our little family stays together forever.

Once we are in his car, Shane pulls out of the parking lot and heads home. 

I don’t even know what to say.  Where do I start?  Can I even ask some of this stuff in front of Casper?  I still don’t know what Shane’s relationship is with Katie.  Is she living with Shane because he is her boyfriend?  Oh, I didn’t even want to think about it.  No.  Please don’t let her be dating. 

My son’s giggles bring me out of my thoughts.  I look over my shoulder at him and then to my side at Shane.  “What?  Did I miss something?”

Shane keeps his focus on the road and chuckles.  “I was trying to ask you where all of you guys are staying and for how long.”

Casper instantly shouts, “Daddy is staying with us!  Mommy missing daddy so much!  Mommy will be very happy!”

Shane glances in the rearview mirror and then gives me a quick look.  “Only if Mark wants to.”

My son doesn’t even give me a chance to say anything before he shouts, “HE DOES!!  DADDY WANTS TO!!!  RIGHT DADDY!!!”

How can you tell such a cute boy no?  Plus, I don’t want to be apart from them.  My chest aches just thinking about it.

I laugh at his silliness.  “Of course, I will stay with you, but only if it is all right with Uncle Shane.”

Shane doesn’t hesitate and nods.  “It is fine with me.  I also was expecting you one day.  Katie has always told Cass you would come.”

Warmth fills my chest as I sit upright and stare at him.  “She did.  Katie knew I would come.  Does this mean she knows I wasn’t drunk that night?”

Shane presses his lips together and tightens his grasp around the steering wheel as he shakes his head.  “No, she still thinks you don’t remember, but after hearing her side of the story, I told her she may be wrong.  I didn’t think you were as drunk as she thought you were.  However, she still keeps saying you don’t remember.  To be totally honest, I think Katie has been desperately hoping and wishing she was wrong because she can’t forget that night.  I’m sure she will get mad at me for telling you this, but you came all the way here looking for her, so why continue to hide it?”

My heart skips a beat.  Katie can’t forget that night.  She still loves me.  I’m sure of it, even though I haven’t seen her yet.  I think this is going to be an amazing night.

A smile spreads across my face, and I can’t help but ask, “So, has Katie been seeing someone?”

Shane instantly bursts out laughing.  “No.  You will understand when we get to my house.”

From the back seat, Casper chimes, “Mommy loves daddy only.  Mommy tell me all about daddy every day.”

My chest fills with warmth again as I glance over my shoulder.  “Okay.  I believe you.” 

I turn towards Shane.  “Can I ask you why they are living with you?  Is it because they were living in such a horrible apartment before?”

Shane sighs and twists his hands around the steering wheel, hesitating for a minute.  “Yes and no.  Katie has been very adamant she can do this on her own, but she has such huge doctor bills from having Casper.  She doesn’t have much money after she makes her monthly payment on her account.  So, in order to cut corners, Katie had been staying in less than stellar places.  However, it usually didn’t take long before something would happen, and she would move again.  After she decided to move this last time, I put my foot down and told her she was moving in with me.  I have a big house and plenty of room, plus I want Cass and her in a safe place.”

I would do anything just to make sure they are safe.  One of the first things I need to do is payoff her medical bills. 

I lightly tap my finger on the side of my leg as I tentatively ask, “Does Katie’s family know about Cass?  Or about me?”  I think I know the answer already, but I want to make sure.

“I don’t know about whether she has talked to her parents about you or not, but I know they don’t have a clue about Cass.”

Casper’s sweet voice rings out, “Shh.  Mommy says I’m the best kept secret.”

I couldn’t agree more.  If I had known Katie was never planning on coming home, I would have looked for her sooner.  This is one secret she shouldn’t have kept from me, but I’m glad I know about it now. 

I smile and reach into the backseat, lightly patting my son’s legs.  “I agree with mommy.  You are the best kept secret.”

Shane pulls into the driveway of a nice upscale house and parks in the garage.  As soon as Casper is free of his car seat, he dashes out of the car and grabs my little pinky.  I quickly shut the door as he pulls me towards the house. “Daddy, you have to see mommy’s room.  Your pictures are everywhere.”

I giggle as Casper tightens his grip on my finger. 

As we pass Shane, he chuckles. “Cass has got a lot of energy.  I hope you can keep up.”

I shrug my shoulders and raise my eyebrows as I’m drug past and into the house. 

Once inside, he pulls me up the stairs and points at a room as we dash down the hall.   “That is my room.”

He keeps going and pulls me into another room and then over to the bed.  He lets go of my finger and jumps onto the bed.  With a look of determination mixed with excitement, he crawls across the bed to the nightstand.  He struggles to open the nightstand’s drawer, but as soon as it slides open, he reaches in and pulls out a photo album.  He grins at it and chirps, “This is mommy’s book of daddy.”

I furrow my eyebrows together.  What is he talking about?  

For the first time since entering the room, I finally look around.  My mouth falls slightly open as my eyes drift from one picture after another scattered around the room.  There are several pictures of me, along with others of both Katie and me.  There are a few pictures of her and me, which must have been taken when we were out drinking with the gang.  She is sitting close to me.  She has a content look on her face, and I can still see the longing in my eyes.  Even though I was pretending to be drunk, I couldn’t hide my feelings well enough.  Why couldn’t she see it? 

In a daze, I walk around the side of the bed and sit down.  I pull Casper next to me as my emotions slam into me.  He opens the photo album and my eyes glisten.  There are more of pictures of me.  My son points to each picture and tells me a little about it.  How does this little guy remember all this and for his descriptions to be so correct?  He then flips the page and my tears instantly well up. 

Casper proudly announces, “Pictures of me in mommy’s tummy.”

I slowly touch the black and white images as I memorize each ultrasound and watch our baby’s growth.  I wish I could have been there to feel Casper moving around in her growing belly and to hear his little heartbeat. 

I would have gladly run to the store to get whatever Katie was craving if I had only known.  I’m not missing out on our next child. 

After Casper has finished going through all the pictures, he goes back over to the nightstand and pulls out a little USB memory stick.  He scurries back over to me and holds it out to me.  “Daddy, mommy has more stuff on here.”

I eagerly grab the memory stick and stare at it.  “Cass, what is on it?”

He shrugs his shoulders and innocently replies, “Don’t know.”

What could she have put on it? 

I scoop him up in my arms and grab the photo album.  “Let’s go find out.”