“So you broke up with Jervic?” My sister, Asher, asked me as she visited me in my room that night.
I sighed and looked at her. “It’s the other way around. He broke up with me.” I replied with emphasis on the pronouns in the right sequence.
She looked at me and rolled her eyes. “Why are they always the ones breaking up with you?” She asked in frustration.
“I wish I know why.”
I’m curious as well. None of my breakups was initiated by me and I don’t know what kind of pride I have for myself at this point of living. I always think we could work it out but they’re thinking the other way. It’s like there’s no other solution other than ending it.
Maybe it’s better like that. Maybe it’s better to end it sooner than hurt the whole while. But I can’t really keep myself from thinking of the what ifs.
What if we worked it out?
What if we actually made it if it weren’t for them itching to end it?
My sister sighed once again. I know how frustrated she is that until now, I still haven’t gotten my Mr. Right. She’s found hers now and she’s in college.
I’ve told her that it’s too early for me to say that any guy I would meet is the right one but she’s too preoccupied with the fact that her boyfriend now has been the only one she’s ever dated.
Do you know how jealous I am that my sister actually has a stable man to be with? What were they doing when I was busy dating eleven different boys? What were they up to when my heart was busy getting hurt because of the breakups?
“You’ll find him soon.” She told me and I just nodded.
I know that she’s just telling me this so I won’t give up on love. Gosh! Eleventh breakup at age seventeen? Do you realize how short my relationships were?
This is the sole reason why I am a hot topic in school when I have a new boyfriend. The people are busy guessing how long it would be. And yes, my relationships don’t last long. I mean, didn’t last long. My longest would probably be Jervic. Almost four months.
“Go to sleep.” She told me as she stood up from my bed. “I know that you know what you have to do in things like this.” She smiled then walked out of the door.
I smiled sadly. I know what to do in times like this. Hell yeah. I only have to get no wink of sleep tonight then pray for tomorrow’s day. Pray that I won’t pass by Jervic or any of those members of his computer geek club.
--
“Hey, Ashejan!”
My soul almost jumped out of my system as I heard a cheerful Knight call me early in the morning.
I looked at him and he’s on his school uniform and backpack and smiling widely at me. “Good morning!” He nodded at me as he walked close to me.
I smiled back – though I’m trying to really look weird – and greeted back. “You’re too early for school!” I beamed at him.
He gave me a look. “If I’m early, then you are, too!” He beamed happily.
I smiled and mentally slapped myself for my stupid remark. “Ah… Hehe…” I scratched my head. “I’m…” I paused and thought of an alibi. He looked at me and waited for my answer. I chuckled awkwardly. “I’m actually having breakfast because my Mom is still sleeping and I don’t want to wake her up yet.” I wanted to kill myself in my mind. “Yes. That’s it! My mom’s still sleeping.” I repeated that stupid alibi.
He smiled and nodded. “Oh!” He replied. “How about we grab breakfast together?” He asked me.
“What?” I asked in disbelief.
He smiled slickly. “My mother left early for work. We still hadn’t gotten us a helper so no one prepared breakfast.” He told me.
I smiled to mask my disappointment. I wouldn’t have said that alibi. Now I have to stand for it for the day. “Sure!” I beamed acting so excited but I’m not.
The truth is, I wanted to go to school early because I don’t want to arrive at school when I know that Jervic is already there. I’m not ready to meet him just yet.
“Then let’s go!” He tugged my arm with him and walked to the bus stop.
“Where do you want to eat?” I asked him.
He thought for a minute but then he turned to me. “I don’t really know any restos or cafés around.” He told me. “Where’s the best restaurant?” He asked me.
I can’t think of anything right now because I’m not really hungry. I’ve just eaten my favorite bacon my sister cooked and I can’t think of any good restaurant because I am not starving!
“How do you want to eat your breakfast? American?” I asked.
“Sure. That’s great!” He beamed.
I smiled and nodded. “Alright! To American breakfast!” I beamed as we waited for the bus before I led him to the Brooklyn, The Burger Joint.
“This is really delicious!” I figured that was what he was saying as he munches his George Crum Burger down.
I smiled at his face because he eats like a kid. He got crumbs all over his face.
Can you even imagine a man who looks so tall and composed eating a burger like a kid?
I don’t. But since I can see Knight right now, maybe he’s going to be the only image I could ever think of when it comes to burgers.
Watching him like this, I can’t help but smile and feel the urge to take a picture of him. This image would only come once in a lifetime! I don’t think I can even ask him to eat with me in a restaurant once he knew what a woman I really am.
He wiped his mouth and looked at me. “Why are you not eating?” He asked. No. More like he pouted. Why is he acting so cute?
I looked at the Chilli Fries that I ordered and ate one. “I am eating.” I told him as a matter of fact.
He rolled his eyes and drank his iced tea. “This is unfair!” He whined. “You saw me eating this burger like a kid!” He protested and I can’t help but laugh at his childishness.
“So?” I asked. “You think I eat burgers like a kid as well?” I asked chuckling.
He pouted even more. “Still!” He beamed and I covered my ears pretending to not hear him. “Tss!” He grunted and I couldn’t help but laugh.
Oh, my gosh! I have never even thought of how adorable cute guys are because they’re not my style but Knight is a little too cute to not find adorable.
I dated a guy named Barkley Mariano once and I get pissed when he acts so cutesy on me. Maybe that’s why we only lasted for three weeks, because he was pissed that his cutesy tricks aren’t working on me.
But with Knight, it’s different. Maybe because he doesn’t even know that he’s cute but acts like it anyway. I think he isn’t even aware that he acts cute at times.
We ate happily after that because I was teasing him of being a giant cute machine. Giant because of his height and cute machine because of his cuteness.
We had no problems on eating. But the problem came when we finished.
I thought that it’s not really good if he walks to school with me. Not on his very first day. Not when Jervic just broke up with me yesterday.
I’m not even thinking of my image but of Knight’s. What would they even think of him when he walks down the corridors with me? They would think of him lowly and that’s the least thing I could ever want for him.
I don’t want other people getting hurt because of me. I don’t want to feel guilty for them. I don’t want to feel the burden.
“What’s your first class?” He asked me as we are nearing the school gates.
“Chemistry 101. You?” I asked him back.
He beamed at me. “We’re off the same class!” He told me excitedly. “Let’s walk to class together!” He beamed and I felt like I wanted the earth to divide into two and eat me up right now.
He can’t walk to class with me. That’s the least thing I could ever do for him in order to save his image.
“Uhm, actually…” I started. This is it, Ashejan Araullo! Think of a very good alibi! “I have to run to the bookstore because I ran out of paper.” Lame ass excuse, way to go!
“Oh,” he looked disappointed. “Okay. I’ll see you in class, then.” He beamed.
I smiled. “You know where the room is?” I asked as my conscience is starting to bite in.
“Yeah,” he replied. “I walked around yesterday, remember?” He smiled again.
I nodded and felt relieved. At least I’m not going to feel really sad that I have to leave him right now. “That’s great!” I beamed. “Walk to class, now. Take care!” I beamed as I ran to the bookstore as fast as I could.
--
When I arrived at the room, everyone was laughing at me. Of course I didn’t let them get to me. When did I ever let them anyway?
My eyes roamed around the room and I spotted Knight talking to Genina at the back. Genina Miranda is my friend. My only friend. She’s the only person who thinks that there’s nothing wrong with dating boys in a short period of time and the only person who thinks I’m not abnormal.
“Hey, Ash! Did you cry last night?” Julian Paredes, my bully classmate, asked me.
I ignored him and walked to my seat, which is the seat beside Knight. I sit in between Genina and Knight, now.
“Woah, woah, woah!” Julian with his friends crowded at me. “Did you just ignore me, Dating Queen?” He mused and I looked down.
“Stop it, you bully ass moron!” Genina beamed at Julian and he and his friends just laughed.
“Bully ass moron?” Julian raised his brow then he leaned close to Genina’s face. “Do you want a taste of this bully ass moron?” he smirked and Genina glared at him.
“You wish!” She beamed.
I rolled my eyes and ignored them bickering and I noticed Knight looking at me.
“Are you alright?” He asked me worriedly.
I nodded and smiled weakly. “It’s okay.” I mouthed.
Knight sighed and looked back to what he’s reading. He really shouldn’t involve himself with this. In fact he shouldn’t involve himself with me at all. It will just make his life miserable.
“So…” Julian still didn’t stop and he even leaned both of his hands on my desk. “Did it hurt when he broke up with you in front of his club members?” He asked me and the whole class behind him laughed.
I heard Genina grunt. “I told you to stay your fucking ass out of her sight, you brainless brat!” She beamed but Julian didn’t even budge.
“What a fierce lady!” Thad beamed from the back making Genina glare at him as well.
Julian smirked down at me. “Well, if we actually think about it, you shouldn’t cry because you’re used to it.” He mused. “Remember when Hades Cortez broke up with you in front of everyone in prom? That’s epic, man! I guess breaking up in front of his club mates is nothing.”
I shut my eyes and took a deep breath. No, Ashejan. Don’t ever stoop down to their level.
“Remember when Chadwick Gaston broke up with you? He even asked you to pick up your letters in the trash?” He continued.
I shut my eyes harder. Calm down, Ashejan Araullo. Calm down.
“Or when Harry Oropeza trolled at you at the park you met? You thought he’s going to surprise you for your monthly anniversary but then you were shocked because he actually broke up with you?”
I exhaled.
“Seriously, dude! Why do you act like a gay?”
Everyone in the room got quiet when Knighton talked back to Julian.
I looked at him and he’s still sitting while his eyes are on his notes. He’s not even looking at Julian and I think that’s going to make Julian go crazy.
Knight looked at Julian. He’s not cute anymore. He’s not bubbly anymore. He’s acting as his height and his face. “At least people liked her. What about you? Why do you keep bullying her? Do you like her?” He asked making everyone’s jaw dropped.
“At least people liked her. What about you? Why do you keep bullying her? Do you like her?”Knight’s question hang in the air as all of my classmates looked at him. I did too.Everyone was shocked that this new guy is already talking back to the number one bully in the campus.I have never expected a cute and adorable Knight who eats a burger like a kid is looking really serious and scary right now.Julian, who was silenced for about ten seconds, found himself and scoffed at Knight. He was to him and cocked his head to the side. “And just who are you?” He asked him. “Do you know who you talked back at?” He asked again but now, with a warning in his voice.I looked at Knight and he’s looking back at Julian with equal flames in his eyes. He’s not even taken aback at all!“You. Who else?” Knight replied with an equal threat.Everyone gasped at his remark. He just defied Ju
“Oh my gosh! Are they back together?”“But I thought Jericho doesn’t get back with his exes?”“Why are they kissing like that?”I closed my eyes as Jericho’s lips move over mine. Don’t get me wrong. I am not responding but he’s moving his head making everyone think that I am kissing back.I am not.He broke off from the kiss and looked at me. “I missed your lips, Ashejan.” He told me garnering mixed reactions from the crowd.Some are disgusted that Jericho just kissed me. His fan girls are heartbroken because they think that we got together. And some are mad. They’re all probably thinking of the reason why Jericho kissed me.He kissed me after breaking up with his latest fling.“I heard you and that Jervic broke up.” He told me but his hand is still on my cheek and the other on my hand. “Is that true?” He asked me.I gav
Days went by and the speculations on me and Jericho getting back together are just getting fired up each second. Well, how couldn’t it be when Jericho is always waiting for me outside our classroom every day? I, myself, am not believing any of this.“What are you doing here again?” I asked Jericho as he grinned at me at lunch.He blinked at me. “What? I just want to eat with you.” He replied acting all so innocent and it’s making me irritated at most.Why is he thinking trying to start a new beginning with me? He’s probably just playing with me. I mean, it’s Jericho Marquez. He’s known to be one of the leaders of the Playboy Club and I am not falling for him ever again.I rolled my eyes at him. “Well, I don’t want to eat with you.” I was trying to be downright honest with him. I don’t want him to think that this is fine with me.Damn. I have this Dating Queen ali
“What the fuck, Jericho?!” I pushed him away as he tried to kiss me in front of the public again. Jesus! When will this playboy learn? I’m not interested anymore! My goodness!He still managed to smirk even after seeing my disgusted look on my face. “Okay then, Baby. We’ll take it slow.” He beamed and I almost puked at his remark.“What slow, you ass? I don’t want to get back with you! What in the world in that freaking simple sentence can you not understand?” I asked, fuming in anger. I swear one more word from him and I am punching his face right here, right now. I don’t care if his fan girls attack me and kill me spot on.He raised his brow at me and cocked his head to the side. “What’s the problem, Ashejan? Why are you so mad?” He exasperated. “You don’t shout at people like this even though they irritate you so much.” He pointed out and I sighed heavily.I
The next days were worse because I couldn’t stop my heart from getting suffocated when I see Serena and Knight together. And they were always together. Before classes begin, at break times, at lunch, in dismissal.I have proved to myself that I am indeed attracted to Knighton Javier. But he doesn’t even talk to me anymore. I wonder what the real problem is. Why doesn’t he talk to me? I want him to talk to me. He should at least tell me why is not talking to me.I’m getting really paranoid. Have I done something wrong? Did I look like a big slut to him because he saw me jump from one guy to another?Hell, I’m going insane. Especially now that I can see him laughing with Serena in the lockers. God! Even in the lockers, he’s still with Serena! Damn this!An uneasy feeling grew inside me. I just need him to talk to me. Or maybe I should talk to him. I just don’t know when the right time is. Or is there even a right ti
ASHANTI“I can’t take it anymore,” I told Kristoff as we were in the labor room. This morning, I had several Braxton-Hicks that made Kristoff panic. The contractions had been intensified from then up to now.“Baby, just hold on a little longer.” I don’t know who Kristoff is telling that—me or the baby.He gripped onto my hand as before planting a kiss on my sweaty forehead.I’ve known how painful it is to give birth but the ones I have read never really made me feel this way. This is—by far—the worst pain in my life. I have never even imagined feeling this excruciating pain.Dr. Johnson, my OB, with a nurse came towards us. The nurse explained that the doctor will be checking my cervical dilatation.“You’re fully dilated now, Mrs. Marx. You can push now.” Dr. Johnson told me and encouraged me to bear down.Kristoff was holdi
I can’t even imagine how weird I am looking at Knight right now. He likes me. He just told me he likes me and my heart is beating crazy. He’s too close for Christ’s sake!I chuckled awkwardly. “You’re kidding.” I told him and he narrowed his eyes on me. I cleared my throat. “I mean, yeah, sure. You like me as a friend.” I re-organized my sentence because I think he felt a bit burdened.“Of course,” he said as he looked away.Oh, Knight. I like you, too. But more than how you like me. I like you to be mine. I like you to date me. More than just a friend. It will be a shock if I told you about it, right now, so I’d rather not.I shut my eyes to regain my cool. Damn it, Ashejan! Get your shit together or else!“Serena…” My voice trailed because he stiffened. “…does she like you back?” I asked him.Damn it. He’s too innocent and naï
My heart couldn’t stop beating the whole day. Knight asked me out for a dinner before we watch the musical. What have I done in my past life to deserve this right now?Although I’m actually doubting about this, I can’t help but feel excited that I would be alone with him this Saturday night. Hell! I don’t know if I can still sleep after this.I have to sleep though. I can’t be sleepy when I’m with him. He might get the wrong notion.“You are going out with him on Saturday.” Genina commented when we were eating at the cafeteria at lunch. She’s looking at me with questioning eyes. She might be really curious of what I’ve done to make Knight ask me to come with him.Well, I don’t know.Honestly, I don’t know what’s going on in his mind.“You sure you didn’t put love potion on his drink or something?” She asked me and I glared at her.“I
Three years later…“Mom! Buy me ice cream!” A young girl beamed at her Mom as they walked past me. I have been hearing her whine for a while now and I think her mother wasn’t even paying attention to her. She was busy talking to someone over the phone.I looked at her and smiled to myself. Serena should be her age right now. I haven’t seen that girl for a while now, though.The young girl kept on insisting that she wants an ice cream but her Mom is ignoring her request. She’s too close to crying and I want to run to her and give her what she wants.“Mommy!” She continued to shout and I can see some streaks of tears flowing down her cute, chubby cheeks. How could her mother resist this girl’s cuteness?I stood up from the bench I was sitting at and walked to the little poor girl. I take back everything I said about not liking kids. If kids are as cute as this one, I would endure their n
The room went all silent and the only thing heard is my loud gasp at how shocked I am with Mark’s words. How can he manage to make his image bad on his first day of class? Why did he have to say that in front of the whole class?He didn’t have to save me from Julian Paredes’s hands. I can manage. Besides, I’m already used to it – Julian Paredes’s bullying.Genina looked at me with wide eyes as her eyes darted to the man beside me. Hell, I didn’t want to look at him. I don’t want to look at Knight.I looked at Julian Paredes and he is also as shocked as everyone else. He looked at me alarmed. Fuck it. Why did he have to push buttons of someone anyway?I heard Mark smirk. “Don’t talk as if you know everything.” He told Julian before he went back to his seat behind me. And at the mere loss of contact with Mark, I felt relieved. It’s as if I was freed from prison.“Are you al
Semester break came in as fast as a second and I didn’t even notice that it’s, once again, the start of school. Hell, I didn’t want to go back to school.Hell knows how hard I tried to not to go out of the house during the vacation because I’ve been avoiding Knight with all my might. I didn’t want to see him. I didn’t want to bump into him. Heck, why did I even fall for him?I don’t know what to do.Since that day I broke up with him face-to-face, he hasn’t shown his face to me. Or did I just not go out that I haven’t seen his face? But he didn’t send me anything. No messages. No calls. No letters. None at all. So, I thought he accepted it whole-heartedly. And perhaps, maybe he had a good time with Serena and his family. He should…right?Ugh. Why am I feeling bitter? I am the one who broke up! I shouldn’t feel bitter! Not to him.“Ashejan Araullo, come down now!” I
“What’s with the face, Ashejan Araullo?” Julian Paredes is gawking at me with his swagger outfit. Psh. As if he looks good with that thing. He looks like a gangster. No wonder Genina wouldn’t like him no matter what he does.First, he pesters me. Second, he dresses like a gangster. Duh! Who wanted to date a person as mischievous as that? Psh.I rolled my eyes at him. I don’t even know why I am stuck with this person when all he wants to meet is Genina. And where is that woman anyway? I said I needed her and now she’s nowhere to be found. Why would she be not around when I needed her the most?Ugh.“You should smile more, Ashejan,” Julian is really trying to pester me. I glared at him and he snickered. “Oh, come on! Loosen up! Relax!” He beamed raising both of his hands up in the air.One more word and I will really throw this unopened mineral bottle right onto his face. He’s really g
Chadwick drove me home after making me stop crying. I swear if he isn’t Chadwick, I would’ve cried even more. But since it was him, I reduced a liter from my falling tears.Good thing, though. Because I wouldn’t want to faint in dehydration.He muttered some comforting words as I was crying my heart out. He, too, was shocked to know that Knight is a family man. He had never expected me to fall for a guy with a daughter at such a young age.Oh, who said I wanted to?If only I had known him for a little more time, I wouldn’t have let myself fall for him. But I was too gullible to still do.I walked to my room, trying my best ninja moves so as to not cross paths with my sister or with my parents. I swear if they saw me looking like this, they’re going to ground me for the whole winter break. That’s torturous!Who in the world would want to be grounded for the whole season break? Not me. Definitely not me!
I rolled my eyes as I saw Chadwick waiting for me outside my class. I was kind of relieved that Knight has taken the exam earlier than me, so, he couldn’t see this. I’m pretty sure we’d fight over this.And I’m sad because I know that this is going to be my fault…and partly Chadwick’s.I don’t really know what’s going on inside this jerk’s head so I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what my next move should be because he always counters back really flawlessly that makes me speechless, with no thought in mind.“This is the last day of your exams, right?” The jerk asked me as he walked to me, offering to carry my books. Since when has he learned good manners, anyway?I looked at him and rolled my eyes. “Yes, so what?” I asked back as I walked, totally ignoring the helping hand he was offering me.He ran after me and walked by my side. “Then, we can spen
I was busy kissing Chadwick and the next thing I know, he was down on the floor. My legs trembled when I saw Knight punch him really hard.“You, asshole.” He spat at Chadwick as he motioned to punch him again.It was good that I held onto his hand and pulled him away before his fist could land on Chadwick’s face again.Why did I even kiss him in the first place?I made Knight look at me. “Knight, please, calm down.” I told him as I stroke his arm while I hold his other hand tight. Shit. This is all because of me.I am very stupid that I think I should be in Guinness. Really.He looked at me with his angry eyes and I won’t complain. It was my fault for kissing back. It was my fault for not looking away. It was my fault for even looking at Chadwick. I should’ve just gone out of the cafeteria but I didn’t. It was my entire fault.He sighed hard and hugged my tight as he kissed the top of my
“Who she, Dada?”I almost wanted to run away from here when I heard Serena speak to Knight. I was so nervous that I think I could even match her broken, baby language.I swear I admire Knight for introducing me to his daughter but I don’t think I’m ready for this. I didn’t know it was this hard – accepting that the person you love have had experienced something special with another woman that’s not you.I wanted to know how it felt when he did it with her but then again, I don’t want to bring the past back. I wanted to know what he felt when he knew he was going to be a father but then again, I don’t want to be disappointed.He must really love Serene so much to be this happy.He scooped Serena into his arms and made her face me. “Serena, this is Ashejan,” Knight introduced her to me. “She’s my girlfriend.” He added even though we both know that little Serena doesn&
“Ashejan, please talk to me.”I don’t really know what I will say. Damn. I can’t even move an inch after his revelation. I wanted this right? I wanted to know everything. But why do I feel so regretful that I had to know the truth? I got what I want but why does this hurt so much?I looked at him with my mind blank. I don’t know what to say or how to react. I’m way too shocked to even give him a better reaction.He’s a father. He has a two-year old daughter and she’s named Serena. All this time, I was jealous of the wrong girl.So that’s why he said he would never date Serena, our classmate. He’s just close to her because she’s a nerd and she’s the same name as his daughter.Knight held my hand. He must have noticed that I wasn’t myself. Hell yeah, I wasn’t myself these past few days. I don’t know if I will ever be.I can be with a playboy or a Casanova