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Chapter 29
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2024-10-29 19:42:56
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Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 30
The absence of Fitz has been intolerable. I swing between elation at Edmund’s departure and heartsick despair. I allow myself one cry. Straight after the they left, exhausted from my night in Fitz’s room and overcome with the shock of his leaving I gave in to despair. With the door locked the servants knew not to approach. My eyes were red and puffy, cheeks sore from wiping away tears but then I came to back to myself. Observing from the sash windows I tried to think clearly. Fitz believed me to be an intelligent, capable woman. Alongside a dozen other things which made me blush and smile just to remember. I could not remember a time before where Tarrick Hall had been at my disposal. What could I use this situation for? I must push the idea of Edmund insisting on being present in the room to the rear of my mind. Otherwise my hands tremble and nausea overwhelm. Instead I pace the parlour, my gown swishing as I grow more frustrated. I remember the things Edmund forbade me from over
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 31
When Edmund comes for me at eleven every emotion has raced through me a dozen times already. The act of love I commit with Fitz would be forever polluted and tainted should Edmund insist. My feet unsteady as we walked along the corridor. He doesn’t say a word but his anger is apparent. The rap of his cane is sharper, hitting the floor harder than ever. I dare not ask how his trip proceeded. My tongue is so tied that when he opens the door my heart does not even flutter. Fear consumes me despite being only metres away from Fitz. He is stood, white shirt and tan breeches again, his blue and gold uniform dispensed with. His ashy brown hair is trimmed back, some curls still visible and I have an overwhelming urge to run my hands through it. I wear my white cotton nightgown and purple silk robe as before. My hair in loose curls, the tight, ringlet forming wraps of cotton usually used by Marie rejected this evening. She understood why, nodding, with a soft, “I shall be praying for you You
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 32
Once on the bed Fitz caressed my face with his hand, my hair softly falling through his fingers. His leg laid across mine was deliciously heavy, parting mine naturally as we lay together. I pushed his braces down his arms, his shirt already open and kissed his bare chest. "What are you thinking," I asked softly and a small smile lit up his face. "How relieved I am to see the colour back in your face. You looked positively ill this afternoon and then tonight you were grey." "Your compliments have not improved," I murmured, pulling him towards me for a kiss and lifting my rear from the mattress as his hands began to work my nightgown upwards. "I say as I see," and lavished kisses on my neck as I squirmed. “There, a much better colour,” he said with a grin, lifting his head up, forcing me to smile at his tease. My eyes almost closing as his other hand traced lazy patterns around my covered breasts and stomach, slowly winding its way down to the raised hem of my nightgown. As he kis
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 33
“No please!” I cried, leaping from the bed and chasing him to the door, “no please Fitz, you can’t!” He was like steel, inflexible despite my tugging at his arms he continued towards the handle. “Do not be like him. You are the better man, the man I love.” “He laid his hands on you! You are asking me about whipping and beating, how can I live with myself if I do not keep you safe from such a monster!” “Because my life cannot continue without you! You kill him and I lose you forever!” continuing to grab at his shirt, desperately trying to make him listen. I wedged myself between Fitz and the door, pushing my weight against it. His huge frame towered over me, frustration oozing from every pore. “Vanessa…” his voice trailing off as my hands raked up and down his chest, trying to soothe him. His whole body was as tense as steel. “It was once, years ago, please don’t leave me.” “I’m not leaving you, I’m trying to look after you,” he replied grittily. I placed my hands softly against h
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 34
There is no single term available to describe the following week. Bliss, heaven, freedom. Each night Edmund delivered me to that room and Fitz devoured me. Once the three nights were up I could not stand to go back to ignorance. I wanted to be impregnated this month, so I snuck into Fitz's room three more nights. I was shown a world of pleasures that I had not even dared imagine. He could be tenderness personified, whispering adoration into my ear as he made my sex quiver with need. I appeared to develop a separate personality. I sit as placid as a porcelain doll in my parlour all day long. Pliable, quiet and obedient. I take tea, needlepoint and meet with a local group of church women. We discuss the leaves on the road, the change in seasons, the latest fashions. Edmund has encouraged this, since Lady Cawley’s downfall there is a renewed focus on morality. I sit listening to impromptu sermons from the grey-haired zealots about the joys of marriage. The purity of the households
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 35
The sound of relentless banging and hammering led me to wander down the corridor to the most rarely visited room in Tarrick Hall, Edmunds bedroom suite. I had never dared go near after our honeymoon. The few times I had wandered to enquire about his shouts of pain had left me banished without setting foot over the threshold. Now the double mahogany doors were wide open. Royal blue patterned rugs covered the wooden floor. A huge dark, almost blackened wood four poster bed dominated the room. It was of a similar size to my own suite much further away, however this was dominated by medicine. White jackets with belts and straps were hung up over leather armchairs. Medicine bottles, metal pill cases and bloodletting equipment littered the desk by the window. There was a chemical smell, no flowers or comforts adorned the space. Even his bed lacked comfortable pillows and rich, warm sheets. It was simply a large mattress with a simple sheet. I wondered if the flatness was to aid his ba
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 36
As much as it pained me, we parted ways as agreed. I did not venture anywhere near the stables, he did not walk the horses past my parlour window. I subdued myself and turned inwards. Now I began obsessing over every bodily change. If a breeze made my skin itch, was it a sign of successful conception? A slight stomach-ache after eating an apple pudding? Edmund was no better. After two weeks of his daily steaming treatment he was in a foul mood. Unable to eat anything other than the foul-smelling broth prepared by Doctor Farrer, he seemed to study my eating with fascination. “How are you feeling?” he asked one evening, causing me to almost drop my spoon in shock. “I…I feel well, no different than usual Your Grace. Thank you for enquiring. How are you, are your treatments helping?” “Marie tells me there is no sign yet,” ignoring my question. I cringed to think of her reporting on the status of my bedsheets every morning. He briskly waved his quivering hand at the manservant to leave
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 37
I have been at my mother’s estate for over two weeks. Feigning illness I have been spared the worst of her cruel tongue though I cannot doubt she spotted the bruise on my cheek as I stepped down from the carriage. Jeremiah prepared the carriage, Fitz was elsewhere when I left. I wished I had the chance to leave a note, or explain but there was nothing to do but flee. I trusted servant gossip would soon inform him of the situation. There is nothing so likely to fuel their tongues than clearing up a mess. I am here to rest my wearied mind, I explained to mother and Kitty. I am hoping to conceive, and Edmund suggested a change of scene might help to relax me. It is a lie of course. We all know it, but it remains unspoken. In loose fitting lilac and pink day gowns I spent entire days in my mother’s cold blue parlour. Icy tones dominate. From the grey of her hair to the pearls she dons everything shimmers coldly. Kitty remains a diversion. She has kindly spent hours at my side reading, c
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Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 60
The honeymoon period only extended, month after month. Summer ebbed leading to autumnal nights. The darkness outside and roaring fire saw many a night spent on the large sofa close together. I would lay with my head on his lap reading as he did the same. Without judgement or expectations of others we were able to find our own ebb and flow. We did not live in constant contact. I adored my riding, Fitz loved to fix and engineer solutions to anything. He was quite the hero in the local town. He was seen as the local engineer rather than the landlord and out-of-towner. We purposely did not communicate with the outside world. I knew Marie would be anxious for a letter but it was too great a risk. Someone like Henley, still working for Edmund could chance to manipulate Marie into giving information. It was better to vanish entirely. Fitz had not heard from his brother since returning northwards to claim me, however they had agreed between them for him to visit at Christmas. They did not
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 59
The next month was utterly blissful. We soon fell into a happy routine. I shrieked with joy when Fitz showed me the manor had a stable attached. A young local lad named Jacob, only twelve, was in charge of looking after our horses. We had one each and a tiny fell pony for Eleanor when she grew older.My mare was similar to Amber and very sweet in temperament. I called her Felicity and soon adopted a habit of taking myself for long windswept rides. After feeding Eleanor in the morning the summer meadows beckoned me forth. I would leave father and daughter content in the gardens, and examining flowers. Fitz talked to her as if she was a small adult, explaining in great, exaggerated detail the differences between tulips and posies. She babbled back, as though fully understanding as I arrived back red-faced and delighted with the world.The riding and continued feeding somehow aided my recovery from childbirth. The strength required by my body to trot and gallop across the winding meadow
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 58
I gasped and my head tilted upwards. He lavished kisses upon my bare skin, all whilst his single finger gently, sweetly probed me. As he released a torrent of wetness he let his own deep groan of desire. His finger circling my most sensitive little mound, sent urgent jolts of pleasure throughout my body.“Fitz, I have missed you, I have missed us,” I murmured, gripping his hair and breathing into his chest. “If this hurts you must say and I shall stop,” he rasped as his finger slid inside my most private place. It did not hurt much, only different. It still felt like the most natural, perfect sensation on earth. Shuddering in his grasp he gently caressed me into a quivering high. Drawing me out like teasing wool, his touch and swirling, circular motion had me whimpering into his body. My fingers clutched at his buttons, trying to open his shirt so that I could kiss and adore his bare flesh. His constant touch and affection left me gasping for breath, relentless pleasure searching eve
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 57
Fitz, my perfect, deviously charming, amazing Fitz was as good as his word. After the revelatory breakfast, supplied with fresh horses we managed to travel another forty miles before changing horses once again. On the Liverpool road we stopped at an inn. Anyone who might notice us and fancy making a penny on our names in the papers would surely report we were headed for the docks. Perhaps fleeing to the Americas for a new start. However our rumbling carriage eventually headed down south, towards the Welsh border. The further we travelled the more remote and beautiful the landscape became. Rolling green hills and pastures greeted us, plentiful villages with children running freely. Exhaustion was soon catching upon us. We took it in turns to sleep and hold Eleanor as the carriage rattled and bounced its way along the road. Despite the uncomfortable journey we teased and laughed with each other. Everything felt lighter, the further away from Tarrick Hall the greater my joy.It was so
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 56
*** FITZ POV***I allowed myself a minute to revel in her arrival before necessity made us flee..“You came,” I whispered again, nuzzling my lips against her bare neck. She let out a little moan of pleasure as I gently stroked her arms and waist. Little Eleanor was between us as I struggled to contain my utter joy. I wanted to press her to me and back in her.“We must go, I shall tell you everything on the way,” and just as I began to pull away, she grabbed me once more. “Fitz, I love you,” she murmured, “I should have done this the moment I realised I loved you.” Vanessa’s lips sought mine with a hunger I had sorely missed. My body surged with desire, there was nothing I wanted more than to show her my adoration had not ebbed in the slightest.Almost a year parted but my love had only expanded.Finally she released me, her hands gripping onto my black greatcoat, her face flushed with passion. Even in the near darkness her blue eyes sparkled and left me short of breath. “Come, we must
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 55
Although mid-July the wind whipped viciously outside. As I strode along the huge corridors towards his suite I could still see the trees swaying from the windows. The driveway torchilights were slowly flickering, by the time midnight approached only a few would be left to guide my way.I felt my heart seize as I approached Edmund’s doorway. So many times I had imagined this scenario. Sometimes Fitz was there holding my hand, promising to keep me safe. Other times I had imagined leaving without a single trace. After our honeymoon and realisation I was a prisoner within this grey stone tomb I had fantasised about fleeing in the night almost daily.Tonight it is finally time to discard my chrysalis. The gowns and fripperies that made me a Duchess are not my true colours. They are the trappings of a prisoner, albeit shinier and more ornate. The plain navy gown and cornflower blue day dress I wear are my true wings. These naturally fitting, comfortable garments will suit my life as I navig
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 54
Waking with a start I worry everything was a dream. Eleanor was immediately upon me, mewling and fussing for another feed. Yet Fitz had vanished. My wounded lion, who made no fuss of his injuries despite clearly being in considerable pain. Drowsily I rang the bell hanging from its red velvet rope as Marie appeared.“You are well Your Grace?” as she quickly helped hold Eleanor for me whilst I unfastened my gown. “Marie, you helped…” failing to utter his name. I had never discussed my true feelings for him with anyone. It was too terrifying to make someone aware of the glass, fragile core of my heart.“I did. Only once I must add,” she replied, smiling down at the gurgling baby in her arms. “I gave him the money from your bureau.”Of course. He had been robbed. He has nothing and my soul aches at remembering his wounded face. He had done his best to wipe the blood away but he could not hide the bruising under his eyes. He confessed he has not made his fortune, as if that would deter me
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 53
*** Fitz POV ***Standing there waiting whilst Marie informed her was the greatest test of self-restraint I have ever faced. Knowing that behind that thick swaddling of damask fabric lay my newborn child and the brightest light of my life. I had almost forgotten the battered state of my body, the fact that twenty hours ago my nose had been broken and my ribs crushed under the boot of a thug. Nothing mattered now. As Marie offered to watch the door, it enabled me to finally break through the barrier. I heard her soft gasp at seeing my fingers threading through the material. By the time I ducked my head and body inside the curtain I was certain I could faint on sight. For there she lay, a glittering angel under candlelight. Her long brown curls were piled up high. A few chestnut tendrils snaked their way down her perfect, elegant neck. A white nightgown, buttoned high up to her neck gave her an angelic appearance. Her blue eyes were tired but they still had that captivating sparkle.
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 52
Marie was by my side from the moment the hot fluid first appeared between my legs. She burst into the room before my second scream of panic, suggesting she had been incredibly close to the doorway the entire time. Edmund said nothing further, merely scowling as Marie suggested the staff send for Doctor Mathers.“Your Grace I am here, do not fret,” she soothed, grasping my hand to her chest as I surveyed the damp bedding in panic. We must move you, you will be quite safe, come along. I have a room prepared.”Walking quickly, aware that at every step more liquid was seeping from between my legs we headed into a guest room across the hallway. There were dozens of towels, linens and a hot tin bath waiting. Marie rang a bell three times sharply, within a minute half a dozen servant girls appeared.“Just as we have prepared ladies, I want this tub full and hot, I want the fire lighting and you are to fetch Doctor Mathers in here the instant he arrives.”They curtsied as I found myself reduce
