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Chapter 35
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Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 36
As much as it pained me, we parted ways as agreed. I did not venture anywhere near the stables, he did not walk the horses past my parlour window. I subdued myself and turned inwards. Now I began obsessing over every bodily change. If a breeze made my skin itch, was it a sign of successful conception? A slight stomach-ache after eating an apple pudding? Edmund was no better. After two weeks of his daily steaming treatment he was in a foul mood. Unable to eat anything other than the foul-smelling broth prepared by Doctor Farrer, he seemed to study my eating with fascination. “How are you feeling?” he asked one evening, causing me to almost drop my spoon in shock. “I…I feel well, no different than usual Your Grace. Thank you for enquiring. How are you, are your treatments helping?” “Marie tells me there is no sign yet,” ignoring my question. I cringed to think of her reporting on the status of my bedsheets every morning. He briskly waved his quivering hand at the manservant to leave
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 37
I have been at my mother’s estate for over two weeks. Feigning illness I have been spared the worst of her cruel tongue though I cannot doubt she spotted the bruise on my cheek as I stepped down from the carriage. Jeremiah prepared the carriage, Fitz was elsewhere when I left. I wished I had the chance to leave a note, or explain but there was nothing to do but flee. I trusted servant gossip would soon inform him of the situation. There is nothing so likely to fuel their tongues than clearing up a mess. I am here to rest my wearied mind, I explained to mother and Kitty. I am hoping to conceive, and Edmund suggested a change of scene might help to relax me. It is a lie of course. We all know it, but it remains unspoken. In loose fitting lilac and pink day gowns I spent entire days in my mother’s cold blue parlour. Icy tones dominate. From the grey of her hair to the pearls she dons everything shimmers coldly. Kitty remains a diversion. She has kindly spent hours at my side reading, c
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 38
***FITZ POV***If these two weeks have been a taste of the future, I am destined to be thoroughly miserable. I was called to fix some damn problem with a tube in the Duke's wretched steaming cabinet and by the time I had finished she had already left.There was a part of me that was utterly convinced that the tube was disconnected intentionally. Edmund and his increasingly snake-like disposition seeks to wound where he can. He cannot strike me but he can interfere and meddle.Although Vanessa had abandoned Tarrick Hall before dawn had even a chance to fully rise. It only took me half an hour of loitering in the kitchens to hear what had occurred."The mess Sophie had to clean! Dishes everywhere!"He did that after though, didn't he?""Yes she left, well ran back to her room and he started throwing plates around."At this point my jaw clenched almost to the point of pain as I appeared to idly gather mine and Jeremiah's breakfast."Well I never! The Duchess running, I have never seen su
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 39
It is already the end of November, autumn has given way to a chill and miserable winter. It suits my bereft attitude entirely. Four weeks since Fitz left without trace. I know he had to but it didn’t stop me raking through my room looking for any kind of token. A single petal would have left me content but nothing. It was impossible to expect such miracles. I know he was asked to leave straight away from Edmunds office. To direct himself to an entirely different wing or floor to access my room or parlour would be unthinkable. Yet I am sad. Thankfully my pregnancy is very much confirmed. Nobody else knows. The servants of course may gossip, Marie is under the strictest confidence. Even Doctor Farrers has not attended to me. Not because Edmund is worried the pregnancy might founder, but because he wants to land with a splash in the gossip pages. He publicly derides their puerile gossip, yet I have seen his extensive, lurid collection to know he would most likely adore his name to app
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 40
***Fitz POV***Despite rescuing my elder brother, again, from the debtors' prison he was uniformly ungrateful. I purchased him a commission in the Royal Regiment of Horse Guards. It took some convincing of the gruff, jolly Captain Sanderson and extortionate payment but I needed a ceremonial regiment that was unlikely to see war. I would hardly be enacting my vow to my mother to save him from one disaster only to send him hurtling towards cannonfire.It means James is now safely ensconced within a disciplined collection of men. To be ill behaved, disreputable might see a swift transfer to a company expecting to ship across to France. The threat of which I hope will keep James in check, at least for the Season."Well then little brother, what godly favours have landed in your lap to furnish me so pleasantly?""The last such furnishing of its type," I bitterly reply."Oh of course. I quite understand you are discharging me from your tender nursing, you only left me in their four months,
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 41
The next two weeks saw an endless parade of visitors. Instead of heading out of the house everybody wished to see me. I was holed up in the parlous serving endless rounds of tea, answering the same dozen questions and smiling until my jaw hurt. Edmund believed himself mean by not taking me to every ball and invitation, in reality I was too tired. I had a new physician, Doctor Irwin Mathers. He was of the new school of midwifery, had attended to various royal family members and was a warm, gentle soul. He was from Ireland originally and had the kindest eyes. His patchwork black and grey hair reminded me of a badger which seemed cruel to point out. When he first set to examining me with the stethoscope upon my chest he saw how skittish I was. I did not want to be touched, fondled or exposed in any way. As though calming a nervous horse he simply waited until I was calm. He kept his eyes to the floor, as if aware I felt the gaze of men such as him discomforting. “Your Grace, I am you
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 42
Farrers had made a monumental error. In his panic, in allowing every servant to charge into the room with his supplies instead of sending for me, or one trusted valet he had opened himself to the wolves. The gossip pages had him now. /Duke of Tarrick near death. Young, pregnant Duchess distraught/ read the more professional papers. /Dirty Duke! Tarrick is Sick with a pain in his Pr–-/ were some of the less savoury attempts. The accurate images the cartoonists reproduced of his room were uncanny. The week I spent at his bedside reading the latest deliveries saw charcoal drawings of his room covered in pillboxes and medical equipment. Huge quantities of laudanum and other opiates in bottles, as casually as a liquor cabinet. He was found naked on his back, his lesions fully visible to every onlooker. His body was covered in wet, blistering sores, now viciously depicted like an ogre in black and white pamphlets. How he has even been able to attend so many events is beyond me. As r
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 43
I had no opportunity to see my mother before the Horseguards Ball. I sent her a quick note back confirming my attendance and assuring her I had nothing but Kitty’s best intentions at heart. I could not confess the horror at seeing such a name. The man paired with Kitty, surely, he could not be who I thought.For her to have fallen in with his deviant, criminal brother with a penchant for gambling would be appalling. Not only for her but it linked Fitz and I together in a way neither of us would want. Edmund would be livid and in his current state there was no way to comprehend what he was capable of.The Ball was set to be a lively affair, military ones always contained more dancing and merriment. “I shall not be dancing,” he muttered grumpily as we climbed into the carriage, clutching his cane tightly. “Of course Your Grace,” I answered timidly, fussing with my fur cape.The fear of him pulling out of this event caused me to be meek and submissive. Looking at me he scowled. “Why are
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Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 60
The honeymoon period only extended, month after month. Summer ebbed leading to autumnal nights. The darkness outside and roaring fire saw many a night spent on the large sofa close together. I would lay with my head on his lap reading as he did the same. Without judgement or expectations of others we were able to find our own ebb and flow. We did not live in constant contact. I adored my riding, Fitz loved to fix and engineer solutions to anything. He was quite the hero in the local town. He was seen as the local engineer rather than the landlord and out-of-towner. We purposely did not communicate with the outside world. I knew Marie would be anxious for a letter but it was too great a risk. Someone like Henley, still working for Edmund could chance to manipulate Marie into giving information. It was better to vanish entirely. Fitz had not heard from his brother since returning northwards to claim me, however they had agreed between them for him to visit at Christmas. They did not
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 59
The next month was utterly blissful. We soon fell into a happy routine. I shrieked with joy when Fitz showed me the manor had a stable attached. A young local lad named Jacob, only twelve, was in charge of looking after our horses. We had one each and a tiny fell pony for Eleanor when she grew older.My mare was similar to Amber and very sweet in temperament. I called her Felicity and soon adopted a habit of taking myself for long windswept rides. After feeding Eleanor in the morning the summer meadows beckoned me forth. I would leave father and daughter content in the gardens, and examining flowers. Fitz talked to her as if she was a small adult, explaining in great, exaggerated detail the differences between tulips and posies. She babbled back, as though fully understanding as I arrived back red-faced and delighted with the world.The riding and continued feeding somehow aided my recovery from childbirth. The strength required by my body to trot and gallop across the winding meadow
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 58
I gasped and my head tilted upwards. He lavished kisses upon my bare skin, all whilst his single finger gently, sweetly probed me. As he released a torrent of wetness he let his own deep groan of desire. His finger circling my most sensitive little mound, sent urgent jolts of pleasure throughout my body.“Fitz, I have missed you, I have missed us,” I murmured, gripping his hair and breathing into his chest. “If this hurts you must say and I shall stop,” he rasped as his finger slid inside my most private place. It did not hurt much, only different. It still felt like the most natural, perfect sensation on earth. Shuddering in his grasp he gently caressed me into a quivering high. Drawing me out like teasing wool, his touch and swirling, circular motion had me whimpering into his body. My fingers clutched at his buttons, trying to open his shirt so that I could kiss and adore his bare flesh. His constant touch and affection left me gasping for breath, relentless pleasure searching eve
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 57
Fitz, my perfect, deviously charming, amazing Fitz was as good as his word. After the revelatory breakfast, supplied with fresh horses we managed to travel another forty miles before changing horses once again. On the Liverpool road we stopped at an inn. Anyone who might notice us and fancy making a penny on our names in the papers would surely report we were headed for the docks. Perhaps fleeing to the Americas for a new start. However our rumbling carriage eventually headed down south, towards the Welsh border. The further we travelled the more remote and beautiful the landscape became. Rolling green hills and pastures greeted us, plentiful villages with children running freely. Exhaustion was soon catching upon us. We took it in turns to sleep and hold Eleanor as the carriage rattled and bounced its way along the road. Despite the uncomfortable journey we teased and laughed with each other. Everything felt lighter, the further away from Tarrick Hall the greater my joy.It was so
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 56
*** FITZ POV***I allowed myself a minute to revel in her arrival before necessity made us flee..“You came,” I whispered again, nuzzling my lips against her bare neck. She let out a little moan of pleasure as I gently stroked her arms and waist. Little Eleanor was between us as I struggled to contain my utter joy. I wanted to press her to me and back in her.“We must go, I shall tell you everything on the way,” and just as I began to pull away, she grabbed me once more. “Fitz, I love you,” she murmured, “I should have done this the moment I realised I loved you.” Vanessa’s lips sought mine with a hunger I had sorely missed. My body surged with desire, there was nothing I wanted more than to show her my adoration had not ebbed in the slightest.Almost a year parted but my love had only expanded.Finally she released me, her hands gripping onto my black greatcoat, her face flushed with passion. Even in the near darkness her blue eyes sparkled and left me short of breath. “Come, we must
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 55
Although mid-July the wind whipped viciously outside. As I strode along the huge corridors towards his suite I could still see the trees swaying from the windows. The driveway torchilights were slowly flickering, by the time midnight approached only a few would be left to guide my way.I felt my heart seize as I approached Edmund’s doorway. So many times I had imagined this scenario. Sometimes Fitz was there holding my hand, promising to keep me safe. Other times I had imagined leaving without a single trace. After our honeymoon and realisation I was a prisoner within this grey stone tomb I had fantasised about fleeing in the night almost daily.Tonight it is finally time to discard my chrysalis. The gowns and fripperies that made me a Duchess are not my true colours. They are the trappings of a prisoner, albeit shinier and more ornate. The plain navy gown and cornflower blue day dress I wear are my true wings. These naturally fitting, comfortable garments will suit my life as I navig
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 54
Waking with a start I worry everything was a dream. Eleanor was immediately upon me, mewling and fussing for another feed. Yet Fitz had vanished. My wounded lion, who made no fuss of his injuries despite clearly being in considerable pain. Drowsily I rang the bell hanging from its red velvet rope as Marie appeared.“You are well Your Grace?” as she quickly helped hold Eleanor for me whilst I unfastened my gown. “Marie, you helped…” failing to utter his name. I had never discussed my true feelings for him with anyone. It was too terrifying to make someone aware of the glass, fragile core of my heart.“I did. Only once I must add,” she replied, smiling down at the gurgling baby in her arms. “I gave him the money from your bureau.”Of course. He had been robbed. He has nothing and my soul aches at remembering his wounded face. He had done his best to wipe the blood away but he could not hide the bruising under his eyes. He confessed he has not made his fortune, as if that would deter me
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 53
*** Fitz POV ***Standing there waiting whilst Marie informed her was the greatest test of self-restraint I have ever faced. Knowing that behind that thick swaddling of damask fabric lay my newborn child and the brightest light of my life. I had almost forgotten the battered state of my body, the fact that twenty hours ago my nose had been broken and my ribs crushed under the boot of a thug. Nothing mattered now. As Marie offered to watch the door, it enabled me to finally break through the barrier. I heard her soft gasp at seeing my fingers threading through the material. By the time I ducked my head and body inside the curtain I was certain I could faint on sight. For there she lay, a glittering angel under candlelight. Her long brown curls were piled up high. A few chestnut tendrils snaked their way down her perfect, elegant neck. A white nightgown, buttoned high up to her neck gave her an angelic appearance. Her blue eyes were tired but they still had that captivating sparkle.
Her Honour for an Heir Chapter 52
Marie was by my side from the moment the hot fluid first appeared between my legs. She burst into the room before my second scream of panic, suggesting she had been incredibly close to the doorway the entire time. Edmund said nothing further, merely scowling as Marie suggested the staff send for Doctor Mathers.“Your Grace I am here, do not fret,” she soothed, grasping my hand to her chest as I surveyed the damp bedding in panic. We must move you, you will be quite safe, come along. I have a room prepared.”Walking quickly, aware that at every step more liquid was seeping from between my legs we headed into a guest room across the hallway. There were dozens of towels, linens and a hot tin bath waiting. Marie rang a bell three times sharply, within a minute half a dozen servant girls appeared.“Just as we have prepared ladies, I want this tub full and hot, I want the fire lighting and you are to fetch Doctor Mathers in here the instant he arrives.”They curtsied as I found myself reduce
