As I walked away from them, I thought to myself that I had to make do with the fact that she didn't say anything to me directly so I was going to assume the best and hope it was just one of those things that we wouldn't have to talk about again. But I know Penny. If she saw Zane here tonight, she would definitely want to talk about it later. "Did something happen?" Zane's reassuring baritone is like a soothing balm for my crazed nerves. My heart is still beating from the adrenaline of rushing out to meet him before he actually came up to my room, then basically colliding with Penny and Tristan and her terrible insinuating question. I like to think I handled that situation better than I actually did but I don't bother myself with it for now. I will worry later. "No." I lie. It hurts to. But I can't have him always worrying about Daisy. We wouldn't be able to have anything together if she would be such a primary obstacle."Alex." He says quietly. I can picture his smooth lips turning
I have to think about my life outside of Zane Orion. I have not been doing much of that lately. It is embarrassing, but I have to face the fact that I have spent the past three months being all about Zane. Falling for him. Hiding it from him. Fucking him. Orgasms after orgasms. Mind bending lovemaking that had made me feeling like I could levitate through life. His ex-wife hounding me. Stalking me. Making life bleak even for just a moment. Telling Zane I was in love with him in spite of all that was going on simultaneously. Getting into a relationship with him. We are barely a day old into this relationship but that doesn't matter because he always had my heart. It is not like I am lagging behind academically, but some part of me know I could be doing better if I wasn't with him. If I wasn't so consumed by him. But then I also know I wouldn't change anything about this. If I had to do it all over again, I would still chose him. I see the headlights of his car make the turn into the
"I hope you don't mind, I didn't know where else to go." Zane says finally. He turns to look at me and I get lost in the depth of his eyes. "That is okay." I say quietly."Do you want to come in or we should talk here? We do have a lot to talk about right?" He asks. His tone gives nothing away but I can read his face. His eyes are cautiously anxious and his body language is so tense, I feel like I could snap on his behalf."Yeah." I agree, I think about his offer to go inside twice, I glance at the house, can't help the flood of memory of that morning, my terrible walk of shame down the quiet street, I close my eyes and nod, "Let's go in." I say. I remind myself that I don't have to let Daisy rule over me with fear. Zane opens the door to his home for me. It is déjà vu all over again. The fresh smell of plants. The sparsely decorated living area. The bookshelves. The sparkling clean cozy space. The warm night lights he puts on. I come to a stop in front of the mirror. Flashbacks of
Zane Orion Pov::For a solid minute, I gape at her, unable to believe what she just asked. Then my heart starts thumping loudly in my temples, disbelieving shock spreading through my bloodstream. I can't process the question. Alex looks away from my eyes, she looks into her cup of tea that has now gone cold. Her cheeks are tinged with red. She looks painfully stunning under the warm silver light of the room. I ache to touch her, to feel the velvety quality of her skin, but I keep my hands to myself. "What?" I am finally able to voice my bewilderment. For one truly bizarre moment, it feels like I am sitting with Daisy instead, having this maddening conversation all over again. Alex looks up, her eyes are glassy, she seems so fragile that I can't help myself, I lean forward and then at the last minute, I put my hand down. "Answer the question. I am not repeating it." She says, her voice comes out more resolute than her eyes blinking back tears."Please, don't tell me all these was b
Alex Pov::The slight fear and apprehension on Zane's features almost makes me laugh. I guess putting the age into consideration does make our relationship look all shades of wrong now. Saying it out loud buoys me though, gives me confidence in a way. It is my truth after all. "How?" He asks, I watch his face as the answer comes to him. But I reply nonetheless because he needs to hear it from me, "I read your debut. It unlocked something in me. The attraction started innocent. I was obsessed with you and everything you had ever written. It wasn't easy with getting to know you since you are so private, but that only fueled my obsession. I scoured the internet for anything about you. The little I got, I obsessed over." "My debut? Wasn't that age restricted?" He asks. It is the closest I have seen Zane be actually taken off guard. He is always so confident and reserved. His demeanour always made him seem like he was unshakable. Nothing fazed him. But here he is, sitting across from m
"Make what up to me?" Zane ask as he moves further away from me to sit on the couch opposite mine. I miss the feeling of sharing his air from when he leaned over me. "You have known me for so long and I am just catching up. I feel bad." He doesn't look like he is joking but I can't help my laughter. I throw my head back and allow the mirth take control of me for a second. Zane cocks his head at me, he doesn't join in on the laughter but his face adopts an amused look to them. I like when he looks at me like this. He is impossibly handsome. "Though I am not sure about how I feel considering how young you were." The smile leaves my face, he winces as he adds, "or are. Fuck. Fourteen is crazy. You being Nineteen now doesn't make me feel any better. It is not like I didn't know how old you were, I mean, look at you. You are the embodiment of youth. You make me feel like an old ogre in comparison. You're a freshman. In my class. Christ. Knowing this added layer of backstory just brings
"Why? Do you want me to stay back?" I throw the question back without answering even though my heart is beating like it wants to tear right out of my chest. Of course I have considered staying back so we get more time to spend together. But the constant intrusion of Daisy and the fear of being discovered by others have kept that need at bay. "Yes. I want you to stay back. I don't think I could go two weeks without you. I want to take you to spend the two weeks break at my ranch in the country side. It is where I go to write." Zane says, holding my eyes. My heart leaps. I have to get used to him being this openly vulnerable with me and his feelings. It is so raw and it leaves me breathless. "You have a ranch?" I ask, deflecting from the madness of my heart thumping almost out of my chest. Two whole weeks away with him. Alone. In the countryside. That is straight out of a fairytale. I would like nothing more. "Yes. It is private property. I use it seasonally when my work requires me
It is dangerous. It is stupidly risky. But all that warning my brain flashes at me through the fog of lust I have enveloped myself in, tongue kissing Zane, straddling him and flexing my hips against his rising bulge, moaning quietly into his mouth and sucking his deep grunts from him too, all that warning signs fades to the back. Fades to nothing. I am all for the sensations and it is heightened to almost unbearable levels. I feel liquid fire in the pits of my stomach. His large palms brace against my hips and he pulls me even closer, his seat moves back, so we have space, not that we need it. We are pressed so close, even air can't pass between us. "Fuck. Fuck. Alex. Wait. Fuck." Zane pants, he pulls away from the kiss reluctantly, our lips coming apart slowly like we are conjoined. My hair is a curtain around us, messy and everywhere. The car is parked some distance away from the dorms main entrance but it is still so dangerous to be doing this here, anybody could walk past. Anyb
He gives his charming smile and nods, "Hello to you too, Madeleine." He says good-naturedly. The audience is still cheering and clapping. Someone uses the teleprompter to ask for silence, and it still takes a few seconds for the studio to go quiet so Madeleine can continue. They love him. My heart fills with pride. And love, too. I am so grateful that we are past that dark phase in his life two years ago where it felt like he was losing everything, and it was my fault. "Let's get right into this book!" Madeleine says, and the audience erupts with cheering and applause again. But it is quickly controlled. "First off, I want to talk about the process. It is very rare to see projects like this. I know of authors coming together to write biographies or translating books. But actually writing together? That is new and different. Alex, I want to know what the writing process was like for you. Orion is already quite established and experienced, but this was your debut!" Madeleine asks me.
"I have no idea." I say, truthfully. I really don't. I have still not come to terms with the thought that I am not going to return to the college for the new session. Since Zane is not going back, it makes no sense for me to. That is how it works now. That is how it will be from now on. "Okay. We can put a pin on that for now, then. Back to my offer, what do you think, Alex?" Zane squeezes my knee with one hand, his eyes stay on the traffic ahead, as he navigates the car. I recognise this highway and where it leads. He is driving us to the cabin. His cabin. Our cabin. My heart is so full, I can barely breath. "You want me to co-write a book with you?" I ask him again, just to be sure I am not in a dream. Just to be sure that this is real. The sound of his laughter reassures me. It is real. I am going to be an author! "Yes, Alex. I want to work with you on a book that is going to be more successful than all the books I have ever released." He says as he pulls into the countryside, i
Alex POV::"Oh my God! What do you mean?" My voice comes out as a really loud scream that is very uncharacteristic of me, Zane just smiles, he takes my hand and leads the way out of the hallway, I follow him still confused but feeling a swirl of excitement ramp up in the pit of my stomach at the mere thought. I can't even begin to fathom it! "Come, let's go before you summon the whole department." He says and I laugh but the laughter bleeds off my face as soon as we step out of the department and there are a lot of people around and they all stop to stare at us as if we were stars in a movie and the director yelled for everyone to stare at us. I blush under the scrutiny. I didn't expect this much people to be out and about but I guess most people are already resuming. I think it is only my class that is resuming a week later, the rest of the department are resuming this week. I try to pull my hand from Zane's grip, he doesn't let go, he looks down at me with a questioning look in hi
Zane Orion POV::"We were just trying to determine how this scandal started. If you get what I mean." Mrs. Tyrell tells me, she sounds like she would rather be anywhere else, but Mrs. Manson looks exactly the opposite, I understand she wants to be rid of me and sent that announcement of my job termination to the press. I understand that as vice president of the college, she can't afford the fallout from the scandal, so she must do what is in the best interests of the college, but this is going too far. They are still trying to pin everything on Alex. They want a different story. "I thought the panel was referencing the interview. You should already have your answers to that." I say, holding Mrs. Manson's narrowed gaze. Alex squeezes my hand under the desk, I interpret it as her being nervous. I have missed her so God damned much, it is unreal. Sitting beside her, I keep taking full lungful of her scent. She smells just as I remember, the nostalgia of us together at my cabin, naked
"These feelings, you didn't consider them inappropriate seeing as he was your Professor and a respected member of this faculty?" Mrs. Tyrell asks when the rest of the room remains silent. "No, I didn't." I say, deciding to be truthful and straight to the point."Did you act on these feelings first?" They are trying to determine if I should be the one to place most of the blame on. So it becomes a case of a student seducing her lecturer and they can get Zane back since he is obviously more valuable than I am in terms of who contributes more to the college. I didn't come here to be crucified so I wouldn't give them that satisfaction. It is becoming clearer to me that I definitely wouldn't be allowed to finish my degree here. I nursed a pipe dream, hoping that I could do anything about this case that has now spiralled into something more than me. "I can't answer that as I can't say. I don't know who acted first. It was mutual and consensual from the beginning." I tell them, the confid
Do I even want to continue schooling here? I don't know. I have not been able to really think about the impact of this situation and what it meant for my interests. I came to this school because of Zane, if he is not going to be here, do I want to stay? I mean, I have to think about myself and what would work best for me, but I can't help thinking about him too, I can't help it. He was summoned too and he promised me he would show up after they were done with me, I can't wait to see him. Though it would feel weird meeting again in this department after everything that has happened, but I look forward to it regardless. I missed him so much. "You said you chose this college solely because professor Orion taught here?" Mrs. Tyrell asks, she is obviously going to be the one doing all the questioning while the others sit in, I can feel their sharp gazes trained on me, I can't bring myself to look at any of them, I keep my eyes set on a spot above their heads. "Yes, I did. It was the tru
"I told you to be careful because you are young, Alex. He is almost twice your age. I told you that he had more life experiences you can only dream of. This relationship, it isn't fair on you. You probably can't see it now but you are getting the short end of the stick. I can't watch you spend your youth like this, Alex. This is the time of your life to be young and free and unburdened, you can't spend it dating a man with a kid and a mad ex wife." It is one thing we have come to agree on. That Daisy is insane. She didn't hesitate to believe me after I told her about how Daisy was stalking me and being weird. "Mom, I am young, but I am not naive. I matured almost ten years above my age after we lost dad. I am not a kid. I am not going to spend my 'youth' being free and unburdened as you put it because it would never happen for me. I am already burdened, Mom. I understand your worries and I am sorry that I have disappointed you or that I am not going to listen to you, but it is someth
"How did you know where she is? Did her family home location get leaked online?" My heart is racing so hard, I can barely breath. I can't follow all else that Madeleine said, I can't get past the part about her getting an interview with Alex. The last time we talked, we didn't agree on talking with the press. My dumb strategy was waiting out the outrage. I know that it would eventually fizzle out. I didn't mind being the worst hit. As long as Alex was safe and shielded."Is that the only thing you heard me say?" Madeleine leans forward, intense eyes narrowed in interest. "No, her location wasn't leaked, Orion. I found her because I was interested, it takes little to find someone these days." She says, leaning back, arms crossed over her chest. "Why were you interested?" I will get back to the interview bit but there was something about Madeleine's presence in this cabin that felt different. We are friends but we hardly get involved with eachother's lives. She has made it clear that
"You look like shit." Madeleine pushes past me and the half open door to make her way inside the dark living room. "What are you doing here?" I ask, reluctantly turning on the lights, knowing I look exactly like shit as she said. Madeleine is more than an acquaintance, I would say we have a friendship of sorts. We have kept in touch over the years since my debut, she invited me to her wedding three years ago. She is a wildly interesting woman with a diverse group of friends. Artists and writers and everyone in between. She is also three years older than me. There might be some kind of maternal undertone to our relationship, but it isn't weird. I like her. We work really well together, she is always the first person my books are sent to for a review. And it is a mutually beneficial relationship that has held grounds for years now. All this doesn't explain to me why she is here. She is not the kind of journalist to chase after scandalous stories like the one I am currently involved w