Before we go on our date today, I ask Jeff to join me here. We now arrive in front of my therapist's apartment unit. She doesn’t like the clinic set-up, she believes a home set-up makes someone feel much better.When Jeff sees the sign outside, he hesitates. He probably has a lot of questions right now but he chooses to stay quiet and goes along with me.So before even I knock on the door, I face him with courage.“Babe, there’s something I didn’t tell you, not because I lied, but because I wanted to show you after I became better,” tears begin to fill my eyes.So he holds my hands and reassures me with just a simple smile, “Avery, I trust you, and whatever it is, I am here now. You don’t have to do this alone, okay?”I nod and hug him so tight. After I sober up, I press the doorbell.A minute later, a lady’s voice is heard from the intercom, “Yes, who is it?”“It’s Avery Anderson, Dr. James,” I simply answer. Then the door opens for the both of us. She is excited to see me, but she b
(Dmitri’s Thoughts)It is my last day here in France, I promised Heather I only need a week to finalize the opening and other business matters here. And then, I'll go back to the States. And after what I witnessed last, last night, there's no reason for me to stay here. "She's already happy with someone else. She finally got the love she truly deserves, something I didn't give to her back then," I sigh convincing myself. But if I am ready to really let her go, why did my feet bring me here? And why do I have this yellow bouquet of flowers in my hand? I am now in front of the museum where she's working, arguing with myself whether to show my face to her or not. Should I be selfish or selfless? I gulp when I hear footsteps approaching me. I feel nervous. It is the very first time I feel nervous just by anticipating seeing someone. I gulp. In my mind I wish for two things, "I wish it is her, I wish she isn't her."But when I finally hear an unfamiliar french accent voice, I feel lik
(Avery’s Thoughts)After meeting with my therapist and having a date with my beloved boyfriend, Jeff, I ask him to go home alone. I made an excuse saying I had to go to the museum so I could buy some gifts for him.When he proposed, I was utterly speechless, not because I doubted myself but because I couldn’t believe that he has really loved me and was willing to spend his forever with me despite all my shortcomings. That’s why, for once in my life, I became honest with him, and I promise myself to not leave him blind-sided about anything anymore. Anyway, it was a lovely day for us, and what else could go wrong? I never thought that something or even someone can ruin what this perfect day has in store for us. Or so I thought.Now, I am walking along this busy street. There’s a shop I always visit because the old woman there is so nice. I don’t know why, but I always have a soft spot with elderlies, maybe because I didn’t experience having grandparents, and my parents as you know die
(Dmitri’s Thoughts)She heard me, I know. She saw me, I am sure of it. But she disappeared in front of me. She didn’t look at me, she didn’t even bother to see a glimpse of me, to check if I was real. I was like a ghost, a bad omen she wished she never met. Then, she bolted and ran away. She disappeared in front of me, and what the hell am I doing? “Will I let her escape again? Will I let her go again?” I clench my fist, and then I hear the old woman cheers me up. She speaks in French. “Go after her, go ahead, and never let her go. Maybe, you are the reason why she was never completely happy with her boyfriend, she just didn’t know it yet. Or else, she’s denying it,” her words light my fire up. I thank her and run out of the store. I begin to look for her, and luckily, I still see her figure running away. I run after her. I chase her desperately. My decision is final, “I’ll never let you go, Avery. I thought it is best to leave you and Jeff alone, but…”I gather all my streng
(Avery’s Thoughts)I’ve been walking back and forth at the entrance of our apartment building. I can’t come up with a decision for a certain thing. “Should I tell him or not? What’s the need to tell him when I won’t be seeing him ever again,” I bite my fingers still unable to decide. The superintendent has been watching me, and maybe, he’s feeling dizzy following my movement. I take a deep breath, slap both my cheeks, fix my clothes and exercise smiling, “Okay, let’s go for don’t tell him, not needed decision,” I exclaim. “Here I go!”***Jeff isn’t in the living room or even in the kitchen when I arrive. I put down all the things I bought on the kitchen counter and then go straight to our bedroom. When I entered, I see the light is on in the comfort room, and I hear him singing and humming happily. I put the gift on the bed and goes back to the kitchen to re-arrange the things inside the kitchen cabinet. I somehow need something to do anyway, to distract my mind from that uninv
“Lying? I am not lying. I just don’t see the need why he has to know you are here,” I answer which I strongly believe is the truth. But that smile of his never disappears from his lips, he even mocks, “So, he didn’t know that we met yesterday, huh?”“Like I said, it doesn’t matter. So, if you’ll excuse me, I have a lot of things I need to tend to,” I roll my eyes at him and coldly ignore him. But he never backs down, “Well, Miss Anderson, I believe your task is to accompany so I can pick a painting for my restaurant here in France.”In my mind, “He has a restaurant here?”I look at him and smile fakely, “Mister Sullivan, you can roam around the area and then let me know what you want to buy,” and I go back to what I’m doing.He clears his throat and his face becomes serious, “Miss Anderson, you are a curator here aren’t you?”I look up, well, I wouldn’t be surprised if he knows where I live at this point, “Yes, I am,” I answer straightforwardly. “Then, it is your job to inform me w
(Avery’s Thoughts)I am currently at the learning center finishing the final hours of my crash course in Art Literacy and The Way To Curating. Obviously, my body is present but my mind is elsewhere. It has been almost a week since my last argument with Dmitri. At some point, I feel relieved since the last argument already made it clear. However, a part of me is mourning for his non-existence. “Miss Anderson, are you with us?” I finally hear my British professor who’s been calling me countless times. “Uh, yes, sorry, what’s the question again?” I ask him.He crosses his arms in front of his chest and taps his right foot due to annoyance, “There’s no question Miss Anderson. I am just jutting down the list of students who will participate in our little tour, the one I’ve mentioned a month ago.”My face flustered as the other students laugh at me, “Err, yes, I would love to. Where is it again? And when’s the deadline for confirmation?”“Supposedly today, but since you haven’t decided
(Dmitri’s Thoughts)Unending calls from my sister Heather wake me up. The vibration from my phone just won’t stop. So I answer it for the first time in a week, “Don’t you have a life?”I can imagine her face with just her voice, she scoffs and says, “Well, if you had just come home a few days ago, I wouldn’t end up wasting my life calling you, Dmitri. You told me you’ll come home after your restaurant’s opening?”Blah, blah! I let her nag all she wants, “I had to take care of some things. What do you want? The Vice-CEO is there. He can do all the tasks.”“Remember, you promised Dad you’ll do better, don’t let thi-”“I know how to handle my company, Heat. So give it a rest. I can’t come home, I’ll be in Germany next week. I’ll stay home for a while. I haven’t paid Manor Sullivan a visit for a while now,” I straightforwardly express my annoyance. And I hang up. I sigh and massage my temple, “Damn it! Can’t I take a rest? As if the company will shut down without me.”***I decide to p
(Avery’s Thoughts) (Two Years After The Divorce)I am standing backstage at one of the famous morning talk shows here in NY.I don’t know why I feel so nervous, well, it is my first TV appearance nationwide.Then I look at the mirror and fix myself, “Well, I am not yet ready to reveal my personality so I think of a way to hide my identity, and that is to use a pen name and a sophisticated mask, like the ones you wear in a masquerade ball.”A staff finally reaches out to me and says, “Miss Sparks, in a minute they are going to call you on stage. And your cue is the dimming light, okay?”“Uh-huh,” I hesitantly answer.But she is there to boost and cheer me up, “Take a deep breath, relax, and remember, you are good, and you definitely got this!”The sound from the crowd suddenly dies down and the voice of the host is heard. I look up at their gigantic spotlight and wait for the cue.I take a deep breath and say to myself, “You got this, Avery. You got this!”“Let us all welcome with a ro
(Avery’s Thoughts) “Dear Avery - My Loyal Wife, When you came into my life and agreed to be my wife, that was the best day of my life. That day, on our sudden wedding day, I promised that I would cherish you more than anyone else.I swore to protect the smile on your face, a smile so genuine when I first met you at that hotel five years ago. Avery, I know you’ve been trying so hard, and you never once failed to fulfill your duty as my loving wife, even if it means putting your heart aside. You’ve been so good to me, and you’ve been faithful to me like you promised me. But sometimes kindness and compassion aren’t enough when love is forced. Eventually, the true feelings will immerse.With so much regret, I’ve seen you fell right in front of my eyes. I’ve witnessed how your bright spark faded when you married me. I’ve become the reason why you lost yourself.I let it happen. And I can’t forgive myself for that ever again. You were forced to love me. I forced you to love me. And
(Avery’s Thoughts)“Babe, did it come out now?” Jeff yells behind the door. While I am damn nervous to even peek at it. “It is only a minute, it needs another minute, babe. Please, don’t stress me out,” I yell back at him. “I’m sorry. I just feel so excited about the news. I can’t wait to tell mom and dad about our baby!” he says exhilaratingly. “Don’t jinx it!” I scream angrily. “Okay, okay, I’ll wait here patiently,” answers Jeff. I am here sitting on the bathroom floor, waiting for the result to come out from the pregnancy test kit. It has been almost three years since we got married and there was never a time that we didn’t try having a baby. But until now, there’s still nothing. I hug my knees and start crying silently, “What if it fails again? Am I infertile?” I ask myself. The kit finally ticks and now I have to face the truth. God knows we’ve been trying so hard that’s why I even ask Kendra to take full charge of the business for now. I stop all my physical activities
(Avery’s Thoughts) Our El Nido, Palawan experience was splendid. And of course, I still can’t believe it. I came there single, “And now, I am officially Avery Tales. I am now married,” I murmur as I stare at both my and his wedding ring while he’s holding my hand in his sleep. It’s been a week since we came back here to America. Of course, the honeymoon stage has just begun and Jeff wants to make love to me almost every time. And me, being a good wife, always give him what he wants. Although, right now, I think I am still a little swollen down there. I go to the bathroom to clean myself up and wash my face as I promised Kendra I’ll be meeting her so we can talk about our new business venture. After brushing my teeth, I wake Jeff up, “Hey, babe. Didn’t you say you have an interview at Kirkland’s Best?”He groans and instead of getting up, he pulls me into the bed and showers me with morning kisses. I giggle as his kisses tickle me, “Babe, stop it. We have a lot of things to do tod
(Avery's Thoughts)Even though the wedding is sudden, Jeff managed to pull it off, and he has planned it all along. So after the wedding ceremony, we stayed for a little bit, I got to finally meet his parents. And for the longest of times, I once again felt the warm embrace of a parent. It made me cry because I knew that I am no longer alone, and no longer an orphan. Because now that we are married, his parents became my parents, too. And I can’t deny, my heart is full. After that, we stayed to talk to our guests for some time, and then we ate and enjoy the party, too. And now I am here standing on the balcony staring at the moonlight, while Jeff is still cleaning. I don’t know why. It isn’t the first time we are going to have sex, but for some reason, now that we are married, there’s this tension inside me, a feeling of hesitation, a feeling that I am officially owned by him. And unexplainably, I feel afraid. And now, my heart almost stops as I hear the gushing of the water fina
(Avery’s Thoughts) Later this evening, all four of us will meet Jeff’s parents. And because of it, I am so dead worried and I can’t get this nervousness out of my system. So while Jeff is away meeting his parents ahead of time, I rush downstairs and go to our neighboring villa. I knock ceaselessly, but Kendra and Nik aren’t coming out. I move back to look up, and I see that the light is on, it means they are there, so I continue to rampage on their door. “Kendra, Kendra,” I knock nonstop, “Open up, please!” I scream a little loud. Then after five minutes of almost breaking their door down, someone finally opens the door for me. “Thank God you finally come out, what took you so l–” I am about to complain but when I see her glaring at me with her hair a little bit frizzy and wrap in a blanket, I know that I should be more careful with my next words. Then later on Nik comes down with a little sweat on his forehead. “Uh-oh, definitely bad timing, Avery,” I say to myself. Then Kend
(Avery’s Thoughts) “Hey, we are going to be late for our flight!” I yell when I notice Kendra still struggling with how to put all her stuff in one big luggage. “Wait up! This stupid luggage just won’t listen to me!” she frustratedly yells back at me. Kendra is not a patient and she hates dealing with this kind of stuff. So I go to her room to check up on her. And there I see her leg wrestling with her luggage just so she can close it up. “Stupid-little-luggage!” she yells and kicks before she pounds it hard in the end. And then she sits beside it looking at me with so much energy wasted. “Help me out, A?” she begs. I smile at her and then gently hit her on her forehead. “That’s why I’ve been telling you to pack a week ago,” I nag at her a little and she sticks her tongue out for a moment. “Hmm, let’s see what unnecessary things you put in here,” I tease her. Then I begin to take out some clothes and things she can’t wear to our destination. “Nope!” “–But I need it.” “–It’
(Kendra’s Thoughts)Then a slight touch on my shoulder and a breathy apology are enough to get hold of the situation, “I am sorry, Kendra. Let me fix this,” is all he says. And even without looking, I know this one is definitely Dmitri’s voice since it triggers the hatred hidden deep within my bones.And as he passed by me, he steps up and grabs the arms of that tallest guy, “Let go, Luke, please,” he calmly says.Then the man who fell suddenly stands up continuing his tantrums like a child, “Why are you siding with them, Dee? He punches me first, you should get mad at that bitchy Heather’s husband” then scowls at Dmitri. But Dmitri is true to his words for the first time in his fucking life, he is trying to fix the situation. He glares at him and Luke, “I said Let go, Luke. Don’t make me say it for the third time, and you, I told you to be more careful with your words, this is my city, they know me here as a businessman, you should have thought of me more before creating a scene. T
(Kendra’s Thoughts)Avery finally got discharged from the hospital and in the meantime, I invite them over to stay in my apartment instead of wasting all their money paying for a hotel room. I have two more spare rooms in my apartment so I guess it is fine. Kervin is still here, so they will look after him while I go out with Nik and enjoy our anniversary. I am about to finish dolling up when A enters my room. “Hey there, gorgeous,” she says while leaning on the side of the door. I am currently wearing my earrings when my side zipper comes undone. So she goes to me and says, “Here, I got this,” she says and helps me out. I can’t stop smiling. I am just happy to know she’s here. I am happy we get to do this again. I hear the zip sound finishes, “Okay, you are good to go, sexy K. Are you going to bring the house down tonight with your fiery red velvet bodycon dress?” she pokes my side. “Oh god, no. We will just eat and then go home since that bitchy wife already knew our annivers