Chapter 1

"Miss, bawal dito."

Napakunot ako ng noo bago ko inangat ang aking ulo, nagtagpo kaagad ang aming tingin. Matangkad siya, at walang emosyon ipinakita sa mukha.

"Anong bawal? Ay! Ito po, oh," I look down to my bag and searched for my entrance pass. Hinalukot ko na ito pero kahit saan parte ng bag ko ay hindi ko makita. Wala. "Kuya, promise kasali po ako sa event--"

"Miss, sinabi ko na po sa inyo. Bawal dito."

"Pero, Kuya! Ask mo pa 'yong manager, kilala n'ya ako!" I said, looking up to him and the guard's eyebrows narrowed. Nanginginig na ang kamay ko, kanina ko pa nararamdaman ang tumutulong pawis habang hindi mapakali ang paa ko. Late na late na ako!

"Kung kasali po kayo dito, kanina ka pa dapat nandito. Plus, miss, no ID no entry nga," diretsong sabi ng guard. "Paki usog na lang po, kung gusto ninyo tawagan ang sinasabi mong manager edi tawagan mo. Nasa pila po kayo."

I walk out of the line, to the left as I shove my hand inside my bag, for my phone. Kaagad ko 'yon nakuha at diretso kong tinawagan si Madame Paula. Habang nag riring ito ay hinarap ko 'yong linya na ngayon ay paikli na nang paikli. Parami-rami na ang tao na papasok, malapit na mag start ang event tapis nandito pa ako!

Ngunit hindi niya ito sinagot. I wander my eyes around, cars are stopping in the valley, people arrives from time to time habang nabusy na din ang guard sa pagpasok ng mga tao sa loob.

I looked down back to my phone and decided to text her.

To: Paula M.

Miss, I forgot my ID hindi ako pinapasok ng guard. Tulong naman po huhu

As I press send, I look back up to the driveway before three men in a black suit exits a car. My forehead creased, watching them approach the white car in front of them before a familiar face flashes in my mind.

I was right. Mr. Luciano exits the car with one of the men opening it for him. A chuckle escaped my lips as I saw him wear a full dark outfit. Formal iyon, full suit, black lahat ngunit tie naman niya ay dark blue.  

Hindi pa naka-ayos ang kan'yang buhok, may ilang strands na nasa noo niya ngunit bagay naman sa kaniya. Mukha siyang bagong gising pero pogi pa rin kahit papaano. 

Tanging lalaki na kilala ko na gusto at ayaw ng mga tao, lalo na ang ibang mga babae. Gusto nila ang yaman at gagwapuhan niya, ngunit ni-isa ay may gusto sa personalidad niya.

Masungit, manhid, walang respeto, walang pakialam, masyadong strict, walang modo, at kung iba-iba pa. Kahit ako nakita ko na kung gaano siya, pero sa tingin ko ay he does it for the better. Ngunit ang sabi ng mga tao ay may tinatawag sa kaniya na palayaw pero hindi niya iyon nasabi sa akin kahapon dahil magkasama kami. Mabait naman siya, pero totoong strict nga talaga.

As he fully exited the car, a loud noise rose to my right, catching my attention. I turn to the direction to see people, exiting the building with flashing cameras on their hands. Nakatutok iyon kay Mr. Luciano habang siya ay parang wala lang.

Walang ngiti, pero hindi naman mukhang masungit. He holds a neutral face as he continues to walk towards the entrance. My eyes shifted back to the guard before I felt my heart beat rising.

"Sir Luciano!" I called, raising my hand as I walk closer to the entrance as well. Medyo magulo na ngayon, kasabay ko ang media sa pag tawag sa kanyang pangalan. "Sir!"

He stopped his feet. Nasa harap ko na siya. I hear a familiar voice called me, it was broad. Ang guard yon pero hindi ko na pinansin. Sir Luciano's eyebrows narrowed before his eyes landed on mine. I see his shoulders rose a little bit, giving me hints that he chuckled. "Hinintay mo pa talaga ako dito sa entrance, Miss Calzado?"

My forehead creased and felt frozen for a second. The corners of my lips slowly rose before I softly shook my head. "S-sir, hindi po nila ako pinapasok. I needed proof na kasali ako sa event--"

"Is the ID you were given not enough?" he asked before his eyes slowly shifted away.

"Sir, wala siyang pinapakitang ID kanina," the guard said, from behind me. Sir Luciano's eyebrows rose before his gaze went back to mine.

"Clumsy… You either lost it or forgot it, hm?" he said and paused before he sighed. "Oh, well. We do not tolerate tardiness in my team, Miss Calzado. And It's unfortunate to say but your painting has been declined yesterday, haven't you heard?"

***

"Babe?" 

I close the door from behind as I wander my eyes around the unit. Malinis, tahimik, maliwanag at malamig. Nawala na 'yong mga kalat na iniwan ko kanina, mga kalat na plinano kong linisin pagbalik ko.

Kahit hugasin sa kusina ay nahugas na. Mga papel ko sa sala ay nawala na. 

I walked farther inside and placed the keys on the counter. I look back to the door, to the shoe rack pero wala naman doon ang sapatos niya. I walk to our bedroom to see it closed, as I hold onto the door knob, I hear the front door creak open, causing me to turn to it's direction to see Lucas.

My lips stretched for a smile before his eyes met mine. His forehead creased before he entered the unit, I walked closer to him as he closed the door. "Saan ka galing?"

"Why the fuck are you here? Aren't you supposed to be at your stupid exhibit?" Malutang 'yon. I dropped my smile and pressed my lips together, mas malapit na ako sa kan'ya ngayon ngunit hindi siya gumagalaw. 

Ilang saglit kaming nag titigan. Nakahawak pa rin siya sa door knob habang hawak-hawak ko ang strap ng sling bag ko. Hindi pa rin siya kumikibo kaya't napa-buntong hininga na lang ako nago binigyan siya ng pilit na ngiti. "Declined."

He chuckled, sarcastically. "Ayan na nga ba sinasabi ko. Oh, tapos? Ano next plan mo? Hindi mo na naman ako papansin? You're gonna busy yourself with painting na naman?"

"Babe…"

"Sagot, Angel." His tone rose. "Uulitin mo na naman ba ang ginawa mo last week or ano?" he asked at napalunok ako.

"Babe, please. Intindihin mo naman ako--"

"Intindihin? Ilang taon ko na 'yan ginagawa sa 'yo! Simpleng bagay lang naman ang hinihinga ko sa 'yo hindi ba? Oras mo lang. Masyado mong nilulunod ang sarili mo sa painting-painting na 'yan, e!"

"Ano ba dapat kong gawin? Magmukmok dito sa condo tapis hihintayin ka lang na dumating para alagaan kita ulit? Hindi mo nga man lang akong pinapayagan mag trabaho--"

"Kasi gusto ko nga 'yang oras mo ay akin lang! Ni-hindi ko na nga nararamdaman na may kasama pala ako dito sa condo dahil halos magdamag mong kinukulong ang sarili sa kwarto!"

"Babe, gagawan ko 'to ng paraan--"

"Ay, huwag na." Bigla siyang huminahon. "Nakakahiya naman sa 'yo, ikaw lang ang palaging nag aadjust 'di ba? Wala ka pang plano, right?" he asked. My forehead creased as I can feel my heart pounding. Kumakalma na ang kaniyang boses, hindi ito nakakatuwa. "Wala ka pang plano, 'di ba?"

Umirap siya. I nodded and his face brightened up. 

"Edi lunurin mo pa sarili mo. Angel, ayoko na." Binitawan niya 'yong door knob at naglakad palagpas sa akin. "Pagod na ako sa tanginang passion mo na 'yan. Hindi ka nga pinapatrabaho para sa 'kin lang 'yang atensyon mo, pinayagan na nga kitang mag paint dahil doon ka masaya. Pero sobrang sobra na, Angel."

My eyes dropped to the floor and I felt my whole body numb. He's breaking up with me, I thought. He's giving up… on me.

"Pinapauwi ako ni Dad sa Bulacan--"

"You're leaving…" I said as my voice faint.

I hear him sigh. "Yes."

"That fast?" I asked before I turn around. I see him stand beside the couch, may hawak siyang damit bago nagbuntong hininga ulit. "This is the third time I've tried exhibitions. And I don't even ignore you completely! Every night, magkasama tayo. Every night nag uusap tayo. Tangina, give up kaagad?"

"Exactly! Every night lang tayo nag uusap, magkasama. Wala ka ng time para sa akin--"

"Sino ba sa atin ang umuuwi lang tuwing gabi? Sino ba sa atin ang may trabaho at halos buong araw wala dito? Ano gusto mo? Pati sa trabaho mo nandoon ako? While nasa site ka nagca-call tayo? Grabe naman 'yan, Lucas."

Hindi siya sumagot at nagiwas ng tingin. He head to our bedroom without saying a word. Kaagad naman akong sumunod sa kaniya at doon nakitang may maleta sa kama.

"Tatlong taon, Lucas--"

"I met someone," he said before throwing a pile of clothes on the bed. "Siya 'yong nagluluto sa 'kin ng pagkain since palagi na lang daw akong nag te-take out. Siya 'yong nandoon sa akin palagi. Architect siya ng project namin ngayon--"

"Archi… Architect lang naman pala ang gusto mo, ba't ngayon mo lang sinabi? Pwede naman ako maging architect-- Lucas, please? Kahit hindi muna ako mag pa-paint, mag-aapply ako sa company mo tapos kahit lulutuan pa kita palagi--"

"Angel, please."

Hindi ko na siya napigilan at umalis siya pagkatapos mag-empake. Pagod, Bulacan, Architect… hindi ko siya naiintindihan. I watch him exit my unit with a suitcase and a bag. 

Akala ko nabigay ko na sa kaniya ang tamang panahon. Akala ko okay na sa kaniya ang schedule namin. Akala ko hindi niya ako iiwan. 

Ilang sandali akong nanatili sa bandang counter, nakatitig sa kawalan. Hindi ko na namalayan ang oras at bigla ko na lang napansin na palubog na ang araw. Naglakad ako patungo sa bintana, malaki iyon at halos 'yon lang ang meron kong ding-ding. Ito ang pinakagusto ko sa unit ko.

Paglapit ko sa bintana ay biglang tumunog ang phone ko. Sakto din, nasa couch lang ang bag ko kaya't kaagad ko 'yon kinuha. And all I could ever think of is that being Lucas.

But it wasn't. 

"Oh, finally! Nasa exhibit ka pa ba ngayon, Angel?" tanong ni Lolo Donny. I bit my lips as I wandered my eyes around.

"Nasa condo po, declined, e. Bakit po?" I asked before I shifted my eyes back to the window.

"Gusto ka namin sana makasama mag-dinner mamaya? As a celebration sana sa exhibit pero let's just call it a family dinner na lang, what do you think?" he asked and I sighed.

"Lo, sorry. Wrong timing, e--"

"Mhm, I heard," he said and I froze.

"P-po?"

"Tumawag kanina si Amara pero unattended ka kaya tinawagan n'ya si Lucas. Ang sabi hindi daw kayo magkasama, wala na daw kayo?"

"What time did she call po?" I asked.

"Hmm bandang four PM. Why?"

He planned this…

"Ha uhm nothing," I stuttered. "Uh, pwede po dyan muna ako?--"

"Of course!" he exclaimed. "Of course. Namiss ka na namin, alam mo ba iyon? Palagi ka na lang hinahanap ni Ciara!-- Belinda! Paki-ayos nga iyong kwarto ni Angeline! Oo, oo, dito siya matutulog!" his voice echoed from the other line. His excitement was obvious, making my lips form a smile. "Ayan na, inaayos na nila. Narinig kaagad ni Amara, magluluto daw siya ng paborito mo."

I chuckled. "Talaga po? Wow naman, mas excited na tuloy ako!"

He laughed. "Talaga lang!"

Isang linggo. Pwede na siguro iyon para magsimula ako ulit, at bumalik dito? Planado na niya ito, kahit nakuha ako sa exhibition ay iiwan niya pa rin ako. 5 PM ako nakarating ng condo, tandang-tanda ko pa iyon dahil may nagtanong sa akin habang nasa elevator kami.

Hindi ko man lang siya na tanong kung bakit ba talaga. Babae? Architect…

"Architect ko-- ay! Artist pala, hehe. Oh goodness, Angeline, namiss ka namin!" bati ni Tita Amara nang pumasok ako ng kusina. She immediately closed our gap with a tight hug before immediately letting go, holding onto my shoulders as our eyes met. "I am so sorry for what happened to you both, I knew you deserved so much better than him!"

Tumawa lang ako. My eyes shifted to Ate Selene, nasa island table siya sa gitna ng kusina, nag cho-chop ng gulay. Potatoes, and bell peppers. There's also a bowl of meat just right beside her, causing my eyes to shift back to Tita. "Beef steak?"

"Ah, yes," she said and turned to her. "Request ni Papa. Sakto ang pagdating mo, magluluto na ako ng palaboc! Come, help me," she said, her hands slid down to mine before slightly pulling me, and I did.

Dalawang oras kami nag kwentuhan sa kusina habang tinutulungan ko silang mag luto. Sakto din at pagkatapos namin ay 8PM na. We all went to the dining area and everyone is present. Kahit si Kuya Andrey who is in LA is on FaceTime, kumakain ng breakfast.

Yet everyone gone silent when Lolo Donny cleared his throat. Akala ko ang sakit na naman niya ay lumala na, pero lahat ng mga mata nila ay biglang mapunta sa akin.

"Pa? Akala ko ba napag-usapan na natin 'to?" Tita Amara started, but Lolo ignored her at diretso lang ang tingin sa akin. My eyes shifted to Ciara on my right, ngunit nakatingin lang siya sa pagkain niya, she seemed upset.

My forehead creased and went back to Lolo Donny, and he sighed. "Hindi ko na patagalin 'to."

"Pa," Tito Caius called, Ciara's father, Tita Amara's husband. "May pinagdaanan pa si Angel, oh. Makakapag-hintay pa naman iyan."

"No. And what? Tell her the night before the wedding? No!" Lolo said, shaking his head.

"Wedding?" I asked, taking all my courage, catching their attention. Lolo sighed once again, his face suddenly loosened before pressing his lips together, forming a smile.

"May hiling sana kami sa 'yo, Angel. Kung maaari?" Lolo Donny asked and my forehead creased even more. 

"Pa," Tita Amara called, once again. 

"We have arranged a marri- marriage, in between you and the grandson of one of our friends… Please, Angel-- hindi ka namin pinipilit, okay? Wala kaming karapatan para diktahin ang buhay mo–"

"Baby, this is just a small request. Nasa iyo lang kung papayag ka o hindi, and whatever choice you pick, susupportahan ka pa rin namin. Kung ayaw mo, okay lang," Tita said and my eyes shifted to her. 

"Pareho lang kasi ng gusto iyong kaibigan namin at 'yong Daddylo mo. They wanted to see their grandchildren get married before they die, and unfortunately hindi nakaabot Daddylo mo. Natatandaan mo pa ba iyong sinabi niya sa amin noon?"

I pressed my lips together and nodded my head as my gaze dropped to the plate of food in front of me.

Daddylo wanted at least one of his closest friends to see my get married when he can no longer do. Iyon ang huli niyang hiling sa kanila at sa akin.

I look up to them. "What if I say no? Sino naman papakasalan niya?"

Hindi sila nag salita pero inilipat ang kanilang mga mata. My eyes followed their gaze, and met Ciara's eyes. 

"I-It's fine if you say no, really," she said with a bright smile on her face. "Napag-usapan na namin 'to ni Nikko, he said he'll be fine, and I will be too," she said before her hand landed on mine, on the table. "Ako naman talaga ang papakasalan originally, kung tatanggi ka--"

"Okay… When's the wedding? Who's the groom?" I asked before turning back to the elders. Lahat sila nakatingin sa akin habang si Lolo at tunatawa.

"Payag ka na?" I heard Kuya Andrey say from the laptop in between Tita and Tito. I turned to him and formed a smile.

"Wish naman 'to ni Daddy, 'di ba?"