Ashamed

Raina~

Tying up my Carmel hair into a high bun, I stepped into the jacuzzi and slid myself into the lukewarm water infused with lily-scented water bombs.

I closed my eyes and rested my head, listening to Gracie Abrams, it's okay, the pain will go away soon, don't worry just relax. My mouth stretched into a smile as I could still hear the soothing yet worried voice of my husband in the back of my head.

The whole night, I slept in his arms and he continued to gently massage my belly to soothe me from the pain, I don't even know if he slept or not but the one thing I am sure of that he was there with me the whole night.

I have craved the caring touch of another human being for two years, no one was there for me but now I have someone who would care for me despite everything.

Last night I pulled down the guard he was holding up against me and his worried eyes and calm actions proved that he could handle me in every situation. And I must thank my parents for taking this decision for me, for making me marry him.

I know Agastya may act hard and stoic from the outside but inside he still cares for me. And one day he will fall in love with me too. He will be mine again. And I swear to be a good wife to him too. I will always love him.

I placed my hand on my heart as my heartbeat accelerated, "coming..." I shouted and the banging stopped. I got out of the jacuzzi and wrapped my towel around my body. It must be our new housekeeper.

Agastya hired her a few days ago, Susannah, such a pretty 27-year-old woman, I instantly liked her, she is young, and at least I won't feel alone and bored in this house anymore.

I opened the bathroom door and walked out, and saw Susannah sitting on my bed, catching her attention she look up and got up from the bed, I  smiled at her. "Good morning, Susannah" I greeted and she released a sigh and greeted me back.

I frowned as I don't know why she is always so nervous around me, I can't be that intimidating. But whatever, maybe I am just new to her, that's why.

"Madam, you are expecting guests outside, they have been waiting for you for the past twenty minutes" My eyes widened and I rushed toward my walk-in closet and hurriedly pulled out my denim skirt reaching just below my knees with a small slit in between, I wore my red floral satin top.

I smoothed the loose straps of my top and ran my fingers through my hair, I can do my skincare later but right now I need to attend the guest.

Who could it be? I didn't invite anyone and if Agastya invited someone then he would have told me. What if they are psychopaths came here to abduct me? Oh god, no please save me. But the gatekeeper won't let anyone in, without my permission.

I hurriedly walked outside with tailing Susannah behind me. I reach into the hall and before I could say anything I was engulfed in a tight hug.

"Oh, god you are far too prettier than the pictures" the loud feminine voice sent shivers down my spine and I could feel goosebumps rise on my body.

Finally, the tall, lean figure of a woman step back giving me the chance to look at her properly. Golden blonde hair, bright brown eyes, a fully sun-kissed skin, an hourglass figure, and a big bright beautiful smile with the perfect set of white teeth.

My breath hitched as I watched the most beautiful woman in awe, smiling at me with tears in her eyes. "You don't know, how excited I was to meet you" she chirped, bringing me out of my trance.

I frowned as I was still unable to recognize her. Who is she? And how does she know me?

"I am sorry but I didn't recognize you," I say, politely. She huffed but continued to smile. "Maybe if your husband wasn't dumb enough he would have told you about his only cousin and only sister Kia a.k.a Kaia Rutherford."

I blinked rapidly as the realization finally started to set in my mind. Oh, so she is Kaia, my aunt-in-law was talking about.

I chuckled awkwardly, stupid me. "Oh don't be awkward, it's not your fault it's your husband who should have told you about me but it's okay, you know me now I guess."

I nodded and smiled "Please have a sit," I said and moved towards the big black sofa. "Why didn't you come to our wedding?" I ask and she bit her lip. "I was in France for an important meeting, I am sorry I couldn't attend my favorite cousin's wedding," she says and I can sense the sadness in her voice.

I placed my hand on her shoulder and smiled "It's okay, work is important, I forgive you, you can make it up to me later." I say, politely.

She looks at me intensely and raised her brow, a sly smirk forming on her face "Let's go outside, I would love to know you more Mrs. Raina Agastya Murad" she commanded.

I flinched at her sly tone, though there was still playfulness in her tone but it was hard. Did I misunderstand in recognizing her fully? She is intimidating. Could she harm me?

"I...I...I can't, I am a little busy today, I am going to my home with Agastya for dinner, ...maybe someday later." I say, with a slight waver in my voice. Oh goodness, I hate confident women.

"Oh c'mon, Raina it's only 11:00 a.m. And, we have a whole day to spend, you can surely go in the evening to your home. I won't let you get late. Because today is my off and I don't know when I will get a free day again."

I huffed a sigh, I don't want to go, but I can't refuse her either, I can't make Agastya's family dislike me, because I know how much they mean to him. I cleared my throat "Susannah, please bring my bag and take care of the house while I am out. I won't be here before night." I say.

Susannah ran inside and hurriedly walked outside with my big black leather handbag. I got up from the sofa and Kaia hold my bicep and lead me out. I changed into my brown leather boots and walked out with Kia for my first day out in the last two years.

***

My fingers touched the soft material of the black Dior dress, with golden embroidery quilted. This has to be the cutest dress in this world and I want to purchase it. But $22,000, can I afford it? No, I can't. I don't have more than $3000 in my account.

My eyes blurred with tears and my throat choked as I painfully swallowed a lump down. I am feeling so helpless, right now that I can't even buy the dress I am liking.

If I was still my dad's good girl, I would have bought ten dresses like this, because my dad would do anything for his princess.

But now I am only a beggar, oh god it is so pathetic. I blinked back my tears and took a few deep breaths. I walked from the dress and went to find Kaia only to spot her in the section of Dior beauty products.

"Can we just go from here?" I ask. Kaia looks at me "You didn't purchase that black dress?" I look at the floor, suddenly feeling more embarrassed and awkward.

"Raina...?" she puts her hand on my shoulder "Uh...I can't afford that". I said, keeping my eyes on the ground. "Oh honey, your husband is a celebrity doctor and a fucking multi-billionaire, and you are saying you can't afford a dress worth just some thousand dollars".

I look up at her, is she stupid? Why would I use my husband's money? I don't have any right over it. I can't do that. "Raina, after marriage husband's money is wife's money, so just chill and use that damn black card he gave you".

How does she know that Agastya gave me a black card? And just because he gave me this card, I still can't use it, I just can't. I shake my head. No, no, no I can't.

I heard a sigh, "Raina, I am an advocate and I earn pretty much good but I still use my husband's money because well, why not? Whatever is his is mine and whatever I earn is his. And you are Gus's wife, you have all right over his things. A lot of women are homemakers, does that mean they don't have any right to live?" Kaia says, patiently.

I bit my lips, at some aspect she is right, I do have the right over Agastya's money but.

"And if he didn't want you to spend his money, why would he give you his black card? Just think about it". She says and went back to her beauty products.

He gave me this card because he wanted me to spend his money and a few thousand won't put a dent on his account. And he knows that I love shopping and I haven't shopped for two years.

My parents have given my responsibility to him, so I have all the right to spend his money. After all, I am a rich wife.

I squared my shoulders and flipped my hair and walked towards the dress, this baby belonged to me the moment I saw her.

***

"Oh god, I had so much fun today, Raina" Kaia says as we put our bags into the car. I laughed with her "Indeed...it was, I had so much fun too".

"Hey, Kia why don't you join me and Agastya at my home for dinner". I ask,  I want her to go home with me, she is such an incredible company.

"Oh no, babe...maybe someday later". She says while unlocking the car door.

"Please, Kaia Mom and Dad would be so happy to finally meet you...please, I insist" I insisted and she heaved a sigh before smiling at me. "You know the power you hold over people, Raina? No one can say no to these doe eyes."

"Is that a yes?" I ask, trying to act innocent, she rolled her eyes "We won't want to reach late at dinner, right?"

I squeaked excitedly and get inside the car, today was such a happening day. I wish all my days go like this one.

Fun and without any care in the world.

***

"Oh Raina, my sweet sweet baby, I have missed you so much" I buried my face in the crook of my mother's neck, and tried to control my emotions. I was home, I was at my home, in my mother's embrace. She pulled away and stared at me with teary eyes.

The wrinkles around her eyes creased as she smiled, no one can say that Malini Aaron is 60, she still looks like she is 40, so beautiful and so graceful.

She greeted Kaia and lead us inside our mansion, I saw my dad sitting on the sofa, reading the newspaper. I know he knows that I am here but he doesn't care anymore.

I want to run to him and hug him but I didn't because I don't care either.  Tara, Jason, and Anna were sitting together playing poker since it was Sunday, the fun day.

Two years ago I also used to play poker with my family but after that incident, they just left me behind in everything. But never mind.

Without any salutations, I climbed the stairs and went into my room. My room, the lavender walls, the Taylor Swift posters, those white curtains, everything still looks the same.

"Oh, my god..." I was startled as the door of my room opened with a loud bang. My heart is still beating fast, I turn around as I heard footsteps approaching me hastily.

I yelped in pain, as Agastya hold my arms tightly to the point of severely hurting me. My vision blurred and my lips trembled as he looked at me with so much hate and loathness. His brown orbs flared with anger and the vein on his head popped, throbbing continuously.

He is angry, so so angry. But why?

He pushed me toward the wall making my back hit the hardness of it.  He leaned over me, caging me between him and the wall, his hot breath fanned my face.

"Agastya..." I whispered "Why don't you just let me live peacefully Raina? Just fucking tell me, what do you want from me?" he gritted out, angrily.

"But, what did I do?" I ask timidly because I am scared, scared of him, scared of his anger.

"What did you do? Yeah, right. You can't do anything, you are the most innocent human being in this whole damn world, right?" he spitted.

"Agastya...please..tell me what happened?" I pleaded because I don't want to create any scene here.

"You fucking spend $30,000 on shopping, Raina? Do you know how hard it is to work hard and earn money? But how would you know, huh? You are a fucking spoiled brat, who just lives off to other people, first your dad and now me."

My heartbeat quakes and my chin quivered as tears streamed down my face. So, he is angry because I spend his money. He insulted me for such a petty thing.

"I am your wife and I have right over your money". I exclaimed loudly.

He looked into my eyes and chuckled making me flinch and frown at the same time. He looked as if he is about to lose his control.

"You earn rights, Raina. Just marrying me won't give you any right to spend my money like that. I gave you that black card, in case of emergency, not for your unnecessary shopping spree."

I lowered my gaze because I was ashamed, my mother taught me better than this but he is right I don't have any right over him. Not his room, not his money, and not him. I am just an unwanted wife to him.

Oh god, why I always disappoint everyone.

"Ouch..." I yelped in pain as he squeezed my jaw, making me pout my lips, his gaze fell on my revealed shoulder as the thin strap of my slid down, leaving my shoulder bare.

And in a matter of seconds, his eyes changed color from dark brown to beautiful hazel, and his hold loosen from my cheeks as he lean down and took the mole on my upper chest in his mouth and gently bit while sucking on it.

My breathing labored and I clenched myself down there, I felt my nipples tightening against my satin top, as he continued to assault my mole, biting on it and sucking on it.

He drew himself back, his pink lips glistened, and he raked his fingers through his hair, making them messier. He then looked at me and gulped.

"Do as I say, Raina Agastya Murad, just mind your own business, and don't you dare to repeat this, or the consequences will be bad," he says, now calmly.

"And yeah, don't you dare to hide it, your parents, they have to know that their daughter is happy in her marriage."

He walked past me, leaving me hot and bothered and ashamed of myself. I look down at my chest and gaped. Oh god, no...

He fucking gave me a hickey.

***

Hey, lovely belles, I hope you all like the update. Please share your thoughts in the comment section.

Toodles

Yours

CeeCee