Chapter 04: Lunch

Chapter4

I recoiled as my forehead started to gain cold sweat. I also felt a lump inside my throat preventing me from freeing my agony. Suddenly, all the sacrifices I made for him became radiant in my mind and the happy memories with him slowly altered. Hindi ko na mahanap pa ang saya at tanging pighati ang kumakatawan sa akin.

I was staring at the door of the cubicle. Should I wait for them to come out?But why should I wait for them to finish? Mas lalo lang akong masasaktan. 

“Saglit lang naman ‘to, I can endure it,” I whispered to myself, being a fool again. “Matatapos din ‘to. The pain will fade..” 

Para akong asong naghihintay sa kanyang amo. Waiting for the moment when it’s my time to receive a treat no matter how long the time escapes, even if I have a rival to his heart.

Bigla na lamang bumukas ang katabing cubicle at iniluwa no'n ang lalaking nagligtas sa akin na abala sa pag-bubutones ng kanyang polo. It was the reason why I flinched a bit and dazed right after. Maging siya ay napahinto nang magtama ang aming paningin, sa likod niya naman ay ang isang babaeng hindi pamilyar sa akin, kumalat pa ang lipstick nito mula sa labi.

Umiwas ako ng tingin, tila nadagdagan ang mabigat na pakiramdam ko. I decided to avoid their presence and focus my attention back at the door in front of me.The door once thudded leading my tears down to my cheeks. 

"Tsk." Narinig kong asik nitong lalaking kanina pa ako pinapanood dahilan upang makuha niyang muli ang aking atensyon. 

This is the fourth time we met yet he is still a stranger to me. 

"Hindi rito ang CR ng babae." Tinaasan ako nito ng kilay. Umurong ang luha ko at napalitan ng inis. Mraahas kong pinawi ang luha gamit ang likod ng kamay at binigyan siya ng matalim na tingin.

"Pakisabi rin d'yan sa kasama mo, mukhang hindi siya aware, e," sambit ko.

Bagsak ang balikat kong tumalikod at lumakad palabas. I accepted my defeat. 

Hindi ko inaasahan na aabot sila sa gano'n, ni hindi ko nga alam kung may relasyon sila basta't ang alam ko'y gusto nila ang isa't isa habang ako naman ay nakikisabit. I can't believe what I just saw. I lightly slap my cheek. I have to get rid of this!

"Ivory, umuwi na kayo," salubong ko sa kanya. Ivory was containing her laugh as she watch the two with their current state. Nakasandal sa upuan ang dalawa habang nagsasalita si Devika kahit wala naman itong kausap at si Lyndsey na tulala sa kinuupuan nito.

She bit her lip to stop herself from chuckling when she saw me. She stood up and gave me a frowned look. "Bakit? Hindi ka sasama?"

Mapait akong ngumiti at nilingon ang dance floor. "Susunod na lang ako."

"Sasamahan kita." Kumapit sa aking braso si Collete.

Ivory sighed. "Okay, umuwi kayo kaagad, ah!" Pinandilatan kami nito ng mata na sanhi ng pagtawa namin. 

Sinamahan namin siya sa papunta sa parking lot, pahirapan pa dahil lasing si Devika at Lyndsey. Devika almost threw up but Ivory covered her mouth using her own hands. 

I gaze at her with disgust shining in my eyes. “That’s gross!”

Inirapan ako nito. “Whatever.” She opened the car’ door and pushed the girls inside. “Don’t come back without a hickey,” she reminded us using her cold tone. 

I ate what I said earlier. I didn't fulfill what I promised to myself. I ended up having fun while holding a cocktail. The crowd was wild, making me join them.

Colette disappeared, I just realized it when I turned around, expecting to find her but it turns out, she vanished. Maybe she already found her target.

I shrugged my shoulders and proceeded to dance. Halos masamid ako sa inumin nang namataan iyong lalaki na sumagip sa akin ilang araw lang ang nakalilipas, kasama pa rin nito iyong babaeng lumabas sa cubicle kanina.

Tinaasan ako nito ng kilay nang mahuling nakatingin ako sa gawi nila, nginiwian ko siya at hinatak ang lalaking nasa tabi ko.

Idinikit ko ang likod sa kanyang katawan at saka sumayaw.

"Do you wanna drink with me? Let's talk somewhere private," bulong ng lalaking nasa aking likuran, napalunok ako.

Namayani ang takot sa akin at nawala ang mapaglarong ngiti sa aking labi. Marahan nitong pinasadahan ng kamay ang magkabila kong braso.

"Sure." Hilaw ang naibigay kong ngiti sa kanya.

Natagpuan ko na lang ang sariling nakaupo sa couch at nakatitig sa basong inabot niya sa akin. He was staring at me intently, waiting for me to drink it all up.

I gulped, feeling the nervousness. The alcohol already had an impact inside me a while ago and the glass seemed to increase my dizziness.  "I can't drink this," I said then put the glass above the table. 

Sinasabi ng aking utak na huwag inumin iyon. I sensed danger towards the alcohol. I am clueless if it is because of my illness or if it was really a sign that it’s a big matter to avoid.

"Just one sip? Please?"

"Excuse me." Umiling ako at walang pasabing tumayo. Umaalon na ang paningin ko nang humakbang ngunit hindi ako tumigil. Tinawag niya ako ngunit hindi na ako lumingon pa.

I ran as fast as I could. I can't die here. Nanginig akong muli, pakiramdam ko'y may humahabol sa akin. Hindi ko na magawang lingunin dahil natatakot akong hindi na ako tatakbo pa kapag ginawa ko 'yon.

My hands were shaking and I'm starting to feel more dizzy. Hinahanap ng aking mata si Collete, umaasang matutulungan niya ako ngunit kahit saan ako bumaling ay hindi siya mahagip ng mga mata ko.

I was busy looking for her when someone grabbed my hands.His scent was enough to identify who it was and unexpectedly, I felt comfort. It felt like I was home, like there was a barrier protecting me.

"Hey! Are you okay? Talk to me!" He cupped my cheeks and stared at me with his brown eyes.

Natulala lang ako sa kanya. Nakalimutan ko na rin na hinahanap ko si Collete. 

My mind keeps telling me that his presence is enough.

Nanginginig akong tumango. He caressed my cheeks and smiled at me. And it was the first time seeing him smile genuinely. Pero kaagad niya itong binawi, nawala ang ngiti nito at seryoso akong tinignan.

"You got me worried."

What?

"Do you want to go home?"

"Collete," natutuliro kong sabi. Sa tingin ko ay naiintindihan niya naman kung ano ang gusto kong iparating.

"I'll text her, iuuwi na kita."

He placed his hands on my waist and guided me until we reached the outside of the nightclub. 

Umaalon ang paningin ko kaya naman hindi ko maiwasang masapo ang noo at mawalan ng balanse. He caught me in his arms and I could feel his breath playing near my ears. "Can you still walk?" Sasagot na sana ako nang maramdaman ko ang sarili na umangat sa lupa.

“Hold on.”

Minutes passed and my skin collaborated with a cold breeze. He put me down on a soft seat as he wrapped me around by his denim jacket.

"Sleep, I'll just wake you up kapag nakarating na tayo."

His soothing voice made it easy for me to drift off. I heard an engine start and before I could roam my eyes around, I dozed to sleep.

I woke up feeling heavy. Nasapo ko ang ulo dahil kumirot ito nang bigla akong umupo sa malambot at puting kama. Napatingin ako sa sarili at napansing iba na ang suot ko. It took me a while to realize that I am inside my room, here in the penthouse.

Nagpasya akong tumayo at maligo na. Habang naliligo ay sinikap kong alalahanin ang nangyari. Ang naalala ko'y natulog ako sa kotse ni Xavion. How did I ended up laying on bed? Binuhat niya ba ako?

Pagkalabas ko sa kwarto ay kaagad na nanlaki ang mata ko nang makita ang sandamakmak na papel sa living room. Then I suddenly remembered that I have a lot of papers to answer!

Si Collete naman ay mukhang patapos na kaya mas lalo akong kinabahan. I snatched her pen and started reading some questions.

"What?" Nagtataka kong tinignan ito, nakakagulat dahil may sagot na. Sinuri ko pa ang iilan at nakitang may naka-highlight na rin na words na tila sadya iyon para tandaan ko.

"Paano nangyari 'to?"

"Sinagutan ni Xavion," Inilapag ni Ivory sa maliit na lamesa ang omelette at kanin.

"Ah, sino ba 'yon?"

"He drove you home last night!" She pushed the plate towards me. "Kumain ka na."

Hindi makapaniwalang bumaling akong muli sa mga papel. "You're wasted." Mahina siyang natawa habang mahina ko namang natampal ang sarili.

"Nakita niya yatang nakakalat dito 'yan living room, I told him it's yours."

Bigla akong nalula. Ako na ilang oras nakaupo rito kahapon ay hindi ko makalahati ang mga ‘toi, idagdag mo pa ang pagiging bangag ko dahil walang pumapasok na terms sa utak ko, tapos siya nagawa niyang sagutan sa loob lamang ng isang gabi? What makes me mesmerized more is because all of his answers were correct, for I also searched it on the internet.

Pagkatapos kumain ay nagsuot na ako ng uniform at habang ginagawa iyon, hinahanap ko ang account niya sa F******k. Kalaunan ay sumuko rin ako kaya naman ch-in-at ko na si Sir Robie upang mahingi ang full name nito.

Collete knew the guy and she clearly stated that Xavion was related to the owner of the club where we always perform.

I didn’t bother to ask Collete, she might conclude that I am interested.

Good things, Sir Robie responded immediately without asking my motive.

When I finally saw his account, I found out that we're in the same university. Katulad ko ay nag-aaral din ito ng medicine. 3rd year student at pagkatapos ng ilang taon na lang ay maaari na siyang pumasok sa medical school.

After my morning class, I went out to buy him foods. Gusto ko lang magpasalamat sa kanya sa pagsagot ng mga itinambak ko at paghatid sa akin kagabi. I don’t want him to think that I am ungrateful. 

Nangangatog pa ang tuhod ko ngunit nagawa ko pa rin nakaakyat sa 4th floor kung nasaan ang classroom nila. Lunch break na kaya mas dumadagsa ang students sa hallway, mas lalo lang tuloy akong kinabahan.

Pasimple akong sumilip sa bintana ng kanilang classroom, madali ko lang siyang nahanap dahil nangingibabaw ang kanyang itsura. Nagliligpit na ito ng gamit habang may kausap na sa tingin ko'y kaibigan niya.

I sighed heavily. I'll deliver his food and thank him but I don't why I'm nervous. Maraming napapatingin sa akin, marahil nagtataka sila kung anong ginagawa ng isang freshman dito.

Bago pa man sila makalayo sa pintuan ay humarang na ako. Napaawang ang labi nito dahil sa gulat. Ang katabing kaibigan niya naman ay ngumisi.

"What are you doing here?" Umiwas ito ng tingin. Nakagat ko ang ibabang labi, tila umurong ang dila ko.

"Salamat."

"What? for?"

"Sa ano.." Napalunok at kunwari pang umubo. This is so embarrassing. I can feel that most of the students were watching.

"Hmm?" Halos mamula ako dahil sa kanyang boses, ang sarap pakinggan lalo na ngayon ay kalmado siya at hindi ako sinusungitan.

"Kasi sinagutan mo 'yong papers ko." Maliit akong ngumiti. "Marami na akong utang na loob sa'yo.”

Tumango ito, napawi naman ang ngiti ko nang taasan niya ako ng kilay. "Next time don't procrastinate, you're lucky I was there to help you. Freshman ka pa naman, paano na lang kung second year ka na?"

"Whatever," tamad kong tugon sa kanya. I didn’t came here to hear his sermon. 

"Still, pinabayaan mo ang mga gawain mo." Umikot ang mata nito. "You're still young, you should focus on your studies not on someone who doesn't care about your feelings, wala kang mapapala d'yan."

I greeted my teeth when he hit a nerve."He cares! Hindi niya lang alam na gusto ko siya."

"Goodluck, Eveone." Sumilay ang nakakaasar nitong ngisi.

Instead of getting pissed, my cheeks heated after hearing him mentioning my first name. Bigla ko na lang itinaas ang kamay na hawak ang supot ng pagkain, nagtataka siyang napatingin doon. I cleared my throat. "Thank you for driving me home last night. Eat well and take care."

That was the last thing I said before walking away.