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YOU ARE A GOOD MAN
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HER BULLY'S REGRET PRAISE AND CURSES
“I don’t give a damn if it’s ok. I need you, Nicole.”He says it like that’s the end of the discussion. And maybe for Nathan, it is. He needs me, so he’ll have me, society be damned.Fuck, why is that so hot?Nathan kisses his way down my neck, lingering in a spot that has me squirming and panting. Then his mouth is moving again, feathering over my collar bone, the curve of my breast, then my nipple. He sucks and nibbles, until my hands are buried in his hair, urging him on.“Fuck, Nathan, that’s...” I moan.I notice one of his hands fisted in my skirts. I tighten my hand in his hair, and he groans in pleasure. There’s something about knowing how much he loves this part that turns me wet and needy.I remember what he said the first time we had sex.Touching you like this, making you come? That’s not for you. That’s for me.As hot as it still is to think of those words, I don’t think they’re true anymore. What he’s doing is for him but it’s also for me. It turns him on to take care of m
HER BULLY'S REGRET A CHANGE OF CONTRACT
Then he says it.“I think I’m falling in love with you, Nicole.”I seize around his cock, coming so hard I wonder if I heard those words or imagined them.Then his fraying control snaps, and he’s a demon, taking his pleasure out on me. When he comes, the expression that flashes across his face is sinfully transcendent. Like a fallen angel.He collapses on me, breathing hard. A man once more.Dimly, I realize I can still hear the muffled music of the gala downstairs. So we haven’t been up here for hours. It just feels like it.I think I’m falling in love with you, Nicole.Did he mean that?Do I want him to?I stroke his hair, hardly breathing, waiting for Nathan to say it again.He doesn’t. Not as our heartbeats return to normal. Not as we clean ourselves up. Not as we slip out the back and head home to his apartment.Not as we’re falling asleep together, curled up in his bed.I watch the moon, brilliant and untouchable outside of his window.And that’s when I know. I want Nathan to ha
HER BULLY'S REGRET START SOMETHING REAL
Her mouth twists. “You’d pay me to marry you?”“I...” when she says it like that it sounds bad. “It would be what we’re already doing. But longer. Better.”She looks down at her coffee, thinking.I wait.“What happens if after a year, we want to extend it?” she asks.My heart leaps. “Then we extend it,” I say, casually. “As long as it’s beneficial for both parties.”Nicole chews her lip. Then she slowly shakes her head. “Nathan, I don’t know if this is a good idea...”Crap. I’m losing her. I asked for a shadow of what I really want, and she’s still turning me down.I imagine my life without Nicole’s color, without her warmth, without her voice, but it all feels gray, cold, quiet.I can’t lose her. I can’t.I pull out the napkin contract and add each of the new terms I’m proposing to our original contract. My normally confident scrawl feels cramped. I’m running out of room on this goddamn napkin.I sign it, date it, and slide it across the kitchen island to Nicole. “Just think about it
HER BULLY'S REGRET PREGNANT
Nathan and I have been sleeping together for about a month and a half. Alot.What if ...?No. It can’t be.But what if I’m...?The thought is terrifying and wonderful at the same time.I log out of my workstation and head down to the lobby, in search of a pregnancy test.An hour later,I’m standing over the sink in the work bathroom, staring at a pregnancy test.It’s positive. I’m pregnant.I’m pregnant with Nathan’s kid.I also know, due to some frantic googling while I waited for the test to finish processing, that eating too much grapefruit can interfere with certain types of hormonal birth control.They really should put that on the label.Nathan’s going to laugh when he hears that.At least I hope he’ll laugh.What if he doesn’t want this kid?Because I do. I realize that as I’m staring down at the positive test. With the exception of moving to New York, I’ve always tried to do things in the sensible order.Don’t leave a job, unless you have another one lined up.Don’t start datin
HER BULLY'S REGRET BETRAYED
“The thing is Nathan, you might have fallen for her. But she hasn’t fallen for you. And she didn’t know how to get out of such a big mess.” His voice is dripping with fake sympathy. “So I made her a better offer. And told her all she needed to do was tell me the truth. I promised her I’d take care of everything else, including giving you the bad news.” Any pretense at sympathy vanishes. He grins. “If this was chess, you just lost your queen.”I barely hear him. I feel like I’m trying to breathe with a chest full of ice shards.Nicole betrayed me.I pushed for too much, so she stabbed me in the back.Was she really crying? Because she was scared to tell me no?Why the hell didn’t she talk to me? Why the fuckinghelldid she go tohim?I told Nicole everything about my dad. I told her why I hated him, why I’d never trust him, or ever ask him for anything.And then she turned around and sold me out to my dad the instant I asked for more.I don’t want to believe it. But the evidence is scraw
HER BULLY'S REGRET SALT IN THE WOUND
But Nicole doesn’t lie. Of course she doesn’t. She’s never liked lying. I’m the one who forced her into doing it, until like an animal in a trap she had to gnaw off her foot to escape.She just sits there, avoiding eye contact.Her breath is uneven.She’s about to cry, I realize.I need to finish this fast, for both of us. We deserve the mercy of a swift kill.“There is no us,” I say. I reach for a lighter, and our napkin contract.Nicole watches, wide-eyed, as I set it on fire and drop it into my wastebasket.“Leave.” I say. “And don’t come back.”She stands so fast that her chair tips backward, clattering to the ground. “Fuck you, Nathan. I’ve made a lot of mistakes. But you, Nathan, you were the worst.”She pulls off her engagement ring and flings it on my desk. Then storms out of my office.I dump the ring in my desk drawer, hating the sight of it.I go back to preparing for my board meeting. Like Nicole never existed in my life at all.That afternoon the board members gather in t
HER BULLY'S REGRET NICOLE OPEN UP
“Sorry, I just mean, you’ve got pretty good people instincts. Even when you dated assholes before, you always held some part of yourself back.” She looks at me intently. “This time you didn’t. So I’m asking, what if you weren’t wrong? What if he doesn’t know you’re pregnant?”“Oh, so he just fired me for some other imaginary cause,” I snort. “How is that any better?”She sighs. “I guess it’s not.” She slumps down into the couch. “I just wanted a happy ending for you, for once. You deserve it.”I don’t say anything. I think if I do, I’ll start crying again. I’m too worn out for that.“At least you got the money,” Ellie offers, half-heartedly. “There’s more than enough to start your company and cover the costs of having a kid. And when you eventually run out, you can sue his billionaire ass for child support.”I give a broken laugh.“I’m serious,” Ellie says. “You’ve always wanted a kid. And you’ve always wanted to run your own business. Now you have the money to do both.”“I know.” My
HER BULLY'S REGRET WHAT'S WRONG WTH DADDY
From the other side of the door, I hear a muffled voice call, “Go away.”“Please, Nicole. I was wrong to fire you. My dad lied to me, said you’d betrayed me and told him everything about our arrangement.”There’s silence on the other side of the door.I hold my breath.I hear footsteps on the other side of the door, and then she yanks it open. Nicole’s wearing old, stained sweatpants and a mustard yellow sweater. Her hair’s a tangled mess. She’s got dark circles under her eyes, and not a lick of makeup. Objectively, she looks horrible.And yet, the sight of her is such a relief, I grip the side of the doorframe to keep from doing something crazy, like reaching for her, or falling to my knees and begging.“Why would you believe anything your dad said about me?” she demands. “Don’t you know me at all?”When she says it like that, the shame races through me. “I’m sorry. It was the pressure of the board vote. And he had the napkin. He said the thing I feared the most. And I...I believed h
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