A second later, Kiera pops up. She gives me a thumbs up to show she’s ok. And then she goes back to crossing the field, this time more carefully.I glance at Nicole. “You’re good with kids.”She shrugs off the compliment. “I used to babysit my little cousins back in Texas. Girls Kiera’s age want to test out being a little more independent. And they’re normally tougher than their parents think.”“You mean tougher than their dads think,” I say.“Nicole slides her gloved fingers between mine. “I like that you want to protect her from everything, Nathan. And I think Kiera does too. It’s one of the things that helps her be so brave.”“You think?” My voice sounds gruff, even to my own ears.Amelia smiles up at me. She double checks Kiera isn’t watching, then sneaks a kiss. It’s sweet and chaste. Like freshly fallen snow.Then she pulls back, and we both start walking after Kiera, holding onto each other to avoid slipping on the packed snow.My chest feels weirdly warm over Nicole’s words.I
“Yes,” Nathan answers.“Are you ever going to for-real marry someone new?” Kiera asks. “Like how Mom married someone new?”I stop walking. I know I shouldn't eavesdrop. But I can’t make myself walk into Kiera’s room before I hear Nathan’s answer.At last Nathan answers in a low, soft tone. I can hear the smile in his voice. “I don’t need to ever get married again, Bug. I’ve got all the family I need right here.” And then Kiera’s giggling and shrieking, like Nathan’s tickling her.I stand in the hallway and make myself take deep breaths until I’m sure my face looks normal.Rationally, I know that’s the right answer for Nathan to give. Kiera and Nathan are a unit, a perfect little family in their own right.I’m glad Nathan has that.But a tiny part of me feels disappointed. I know it’s ridiculous to feel that way. Casual sex isn’t going to magically turn a fake relationship real.But the way he looked at me tonight...No, I tell myself sternly. I need to stop seeing things that aren’t t
Finally, I can talk to someone else about this hot, sweet, confusing thing that’s happening between me and Nathan. Also, she can give me an opinion on what to wear to the gala tomorrow night. Nathan’s mom’s stylist sent plenty of dresses over. They were sleek, sexy, sophisticated.But none of them felt like me.It probably shouldn’t matter if I feel like myself when I’m already pretending to be someone else’s fiancée. Living in someone else’s apartment. Working a corporate job where I don’t fit in, and plan to leave as soon as possible.But all the lies are having the opposite effect. I’m finding myself clinging to anything that still feels like the real me. Maybe if I can hold on to who I am, I won’t get swept up in Nicole.Ria holds up a silver column dress. “What about this? You have the legs for it.”“Eh. The stylist already sent me something like that. I want something more...” I wave at the slouchy sweater dress I’m currently wearing. “Something more me.”Ria wrinkles her nose.
Ellie snags one off the salesperson’s rack. “Sorry, we need this.” She turns back to me, holding up the dress. “What do you think?”It’s a beautiful dress. Delicate layers of peach, yellow, and orange tulle swirl and layer over each other so it looks like a sunrise. It’s got a fitted bodice, off-the-shoulder long sleeves, and a flowing A-line skirt that falls down to the ankles. It would be a conservative, modest silhouette, except that the whole dress is layers of sheer fabric. It’s dense enough around the breasts and butt to keep me decent, but everything else is subtly sexy.“How much is it?” I ask, a little breathless.“Girl, you have a billionaire’s credit card,” Ellie scolds. “Time to have somefun.”Kiera would love it. So would Nathan.More importantly, it looks like me.“I’ll try it on,” I say, and Ellie all but whoops in triumph.Maybe caring about Nathan does scare me. But I can still enjoy the ride as long as it lasts.“Nicole,”Nathan calls from somewhere outside my bedroo
“Of course you weren’t,” Nathan says dryly. He meets my gaze.His mom definitely has our number. But unlike his dad, she doesn’t seem to mind the deception.She spends the dinner asking me about myself. Where I went to school, whether I’m close with my family, whether I’ve been married before. Her questions are so briskly confident, I answer them automatically, even the nosy ones.Nathan barely has a chance to get a word in edgewise. Not that he’s trying very hard. He’s spent the meal with his hand on my thigh, twisting and toying with the fabric of my skirt. The casually possessive gesture is comforting and arousing at the same time.We’re halfway through the dessert course a rich chocolate mousse I could swoon over when Jackie finally runs out of questions for me.She watches me and Nathan with a wistful smile. “You really are quite lovely, my dear. He’s finally met someone ambitious enough for him.”“Thank you,” I say, unsure why she seems sad about that.Jackie shifts her focus to
Mine, the gesture says. It’s the same thing I’m saying with the custom jewelry in her ears.But it’s as much a fantasy as the ring on her finger.“Tell me about your favorite painting here,” I say, wanting to hear her talk.“My favorite? It’s this one.” She nods to a small pale-yellow square. At first that’s all I can see, but the longer I look at it, the more different shades I see. The yellow is so pale in some places, it’s almost white. In other places it’s rich and warm like honey. The diagonal slants of yellow fall across a deep, dark green background. Or maybe black? The paint on the dark green part is layered so thick, it’s like I want to reach out and touch it.“What’s it about?” I ask.She leans back into me. “Check the title.”I do. “Arden. What’s that mean?”“It’s the forest in a Shakespeare play.”I look at the abstract painting again. Now I can see it, the way the yellow looks like sunlight, slanting through a deep, dark, old forest.Nicole’s voice is soft and content. “I
She half rises, leaning forward and squinting until she can read the writing. “On loan from the collection of Hart Coleman. Oh.Oh.”She looks at me, guilt flashing across her face. “Is it bad if I still love it?”I laugh. “Not at all.” I capture her hand and tug her toward me, so we’re sitting facing each other, legs tangled, faces close enough to kiss. I raise the back of her hand to my lips and kiss her softly. “If this painting brought you to New York” brought you to me“I could even love it too.”Something hesitant fills her brown eyes. “Nathan. Can I ask you something?”“Anything.”Still, she hesitates. I wait.“Why do you hate your dad,” Nicole asks.I sigh. “It’s not one thing. It’s just him. Who he is.”Now it’s Nicole’s turn to wait. I realize I owe her more.“You know he’s got a gambling problem?”“I heard rumors,” Nicole says. “No specifics.”I nod. I feel like I’m dragging the words out of a deep pit inside me. “He gambled off and on my whole childhood. It was embarrassing,
“Oh, Nathan.” Nicole lets go of my hands to adjust the jacket, which has started slipping off her shoulders. “What happened to your friend?”I let out a sigh. “He lost his scholarship, lost his student visa, and got sent back home. But he was smart, and without us all dragging him down, he ended up graduating early from a top university back home. He fell in love, founded a nonprofit. He’s ok.”Nicole raises an eyebrow. “If he wasn’t ok, I’m sure you would have done something about it as soon as you could. How much do you donate to his nonprofit?”“ How did you know?“I see the new grown Nathan” She said. I smile hapilly.Her instincts are right, not that I’ll admit it. I stand up, restless. “Anyway. I swore then that I’d never ask my dad for anything ever, ever again.” I look down at her. “Now you have the whole dirty, messy story.”Some part of me is holding my breath, waiting for her to call me out for selfishly ruining my friend’s life, or naive for thinking I could trust my dad i