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Chapter 2
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2022-02-11 13:11:22I was staring at the ceiling of my room. It's already 12 midnight, but I didn't feel even a shir of drowsiness. I pulled myself up from the bed. Binaluktot ko ang aking tuhod, and leaned my chin there.
What should I do? Hindi ko na mababago ang isip ni dad. Kahit si mom at ate ay hindi siya mapigilan.
Ayokong maging asawa ng matandang lalaki na nalalagas na ang buhok. Does that mean, I have to mingle with other wives of whoever Poncio Pilato? I can't!
I've automatically stand up when those scenarios appeares in my head. I gotta do something to stop this stupidity plan of dad.
Hindi naman ako pwedeng tumakas. I have nowhere to go. Kung meron man, siguradong mahahanap din ako ni dad. Think Carmell, think. Tinungo ko ang closet. Humila ng kahit anong hoddie roon. Sinaklob ang hood. I slowly open the door of my room.
Patay na ang lahat ng ilaw. I could only hear was the ticking of the clock. I lifted my foot and slowly strode outward. Marahan kong binuksan ang front door, habang nililibot ang mata sa paligid. My sweat dripping down to my chin. It seems like I am a night thief trying not to make any noise. Maingat kong nilapat ang pintuan pasara.
I closed my eyes when the mellow wind whiffed through my face. My lips formed into a wide smile. Success!
Mas lalo akong napangiti nang tuluyang makalabas ng gate. Tila batang nagtatatalon sa gitna ng kalsada. Galak na galak dahil natakasan ko si dad. Sa tingin ba niya ay gano'n-gano'n na lamang niya ako mapapapayag sa gusto niya. I'm a queen not a pawn.
Pumara ako ng taxi at nagpahatid sa isang bar na madalas naming tinatambayan ng mga kaibigan ko.
I inhaled a mixed scent of liqour and perfume that could pierce my nostrils. May nakaka-salubong pa akong lasing. Some of them even brought their faces close to mine. I could smell their foul-smelling breath. They are disgusting!
Nilinga ko ang paligid. Nakapagkit sa akin ang tingin ng ibang tao sa loob. Certain men gives me a flirtatious wink, I just rolled my eyes to them. I'm not cheap as them. Feeling good-looking, guess they're not glancing at the mirror.
Naupo ako sa stall sa harapan ng bar counter.
"One bottle of tequila," saad ko sa bar tender. Naglapag ito ng isang bote sa aking harapan.
Umikot ako paharap sa dance floor, kung saan nagwawala ang mga kabataan. Walang pakialam kung nagkikiskisan na ba ang kanilang katawan, o di kaya'y nagpapalitan ng pawis ang kanilang balat. Ako ang nanglalagkit ang pakiramdam sa ginagawa nila.
Napangiwi ako nang pagbaling ko sa kaliwang bahagi ko ay may naghahalikan doon. Atat na atat, ayaw kumuha ng kwarto?
I thought mababawasan ang aking pag-iisip sa pagpunta ko rito. I've put down the bottle on the counter table, hindi man lang nangalahati ang laman noon. Naglapag ng pera at nilisan na ang lugar.
But before I could've finally leave this place. Someone bumped into me. I hardly closed my eyes, waiting my back hit the floor, but it didn't.
"Got you." Hair on the back of my neck bristled as I heard his manly yet sweet voice whispered on my ear. His arm wrapped around my waist.
"L-Let me go." I removed his arms and straightened my body.
"Careful. You may fall for the wrong man next time," He said before leaving me behind dumbfounded. What was that? He's like a mushroom suddenly appeared in front of me.
Naiiling na lamang na nilisan ko ang lugar.
"Where have you been last night, Carmell?" sita sa akin ni dad habang magkakaharap kaming kumakain ng agahan.
Sa tabi niya ay tahimik lamang na kumakain si mom. Si ate ay maagang umalis.
"C'mon dad, I slept early last night," tugon ko rito.
Ramdam ko pa rin ang mataman nitong pagtitig sa akin. Halatang hindi naniniwala
"I checked the CCTV footage. I saw you fugatitang like a night thief feared of being caught." Nasamid ako nang marinig ang sinabi niya.
Sinubukan kong ibuka ang aking bibig para depensahan ang sarili, ngunit naitikom ko lang ulit.
"Gusto ko lang magpahangin kaya lumabas ako kagabi," pagsisinungaling ko.
"Stop being strict to your daughter, Raymond. As if you are really concern," pagpaparinig ni mom. Tinapunan lamang siya ng tingin ni dad, at umiling.
"I'm securing our daughter's future," katwiran pa nito na lalong nagpa-simangot kay mom.
"How can you say? Your daughter is too young to settle. At doon pa talaga sa taong hindi namin kilala. I can't believe you, Raymond," dismayadong turan nito bago tumayo at naglakad paalis sa dining area.
"You really annoyed her, dad. Before we all get upset to you, bawiin mo na ang sinabi mo." Matalim ang tingin na pinukol nito sa akin.
"I won't do that, Carmell. Not because your mom and your sister always defending you, I'm going to let you do whatever you want. Wala tayo sa university, where everybody pampered you as a queen," nanlalaki ang matang saad nito.
Nangingilid ang luhang sinalubong ko ang matalim niyang tingin. Mahigpit ang ginawa kong pagkapit sa hawak na tinidor.
"I don't want to marry yet. Why didn't you understand that? Gusto ko pang i-enjoy ang buhay ko. Paano ko magagawa iyon kung gusto mo akong maikasal agad? At sa matanda pa talaga, dad?"
"He's not that old. Doens't mean he's a CEO he would be a paunchy, bald-headed man. Besides what's wrong with that, if he can secured your future even to the next ten generation. Unlike a good-looking man. Does their faces could feed you? They are just good at showing their six packs abbs, and nothing else," mahabang lintanya nito. Pinagpipilitan ang gusto niya.
"I am not saying that I want a handsome man, dad. Do you hear yourself? Let me remind you, dad. I am just a nineteen year-old. Teenager. Hindi dahil gusto mo, kailangan gustuhin ko rin." Tuluyan nang kumawala ang kanina ko pang pinipigilan na luha. Nawala ang matalim nitong tingin. Napalitan ng malambot na emosyon.
Bago pa ito makasagot ay nilisan ko na ang hapag kainan. Kailanman ay hindi ko maiintindihan ang kagustuhan niyang iyon. Ipapakasal niya ako sa taong hindi ko naman kilala.
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I just found myself sitting at the corner of the bar, waiting for someone that will get my attention. If dad wouldn't change his mind, then be it. Pero hindi ako makukuha ng matandang iyon ng buo.Muli akong tumungga sa hawak kong bote ng alak. Maluha-luha ako nang ibaba ko iyon, hindi naman kasi ako gano'n kasanay uminom.I smeared the side of my lips, as I shifted my gaze to a burly man walking confidently towards bar counter. He's wearing a white long sleeve button down shirt that well-fitted to him, leaving the three buttons above unwound, while the sleeves folded up to his elbow. I mentally rolled my eyes as I saw how other girls giggling while looking at him.Kumuha ako ng isa pang alak sa bucket na nasa aking harapan. Nakakaramdam na ako ng kakaiba sa aking katawan, marahil tinatamaan na ako ng alak.I turned my gaze toward his direction again. He's now sitting comfortably and sipping his brandy. I averted my eyes wh
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Seems as if everything stand stil. There's no loud music that has been rumbling inside the bar recently, while his soft and damp lips still clinging on mine. Without a second thought, my lips began to move. Gentle. Slow. Passionate. Synchronizes every movement of his'. Not even minding where we at. I felt a sudden surge of my stomach. Oh feels like my intestines crawling like a worm inside my tummy.Could it be possible, when your mind get responsive on whats your heart desire? Magical thing does really exist, once you are in love? Am I in love? No...it can't be. I automatically pushed him when everything sink in."What's wrong?" Hinawakan niya ang aking pisngi. Bahagyang yumuko upang mas matitigan ako nang mabuti."Umupo nalang tayo," sagot ko. Tinabig ko ang kanyang kamay at iniwan na s'ya roon. Ngunit ramdam ko ang pag-sunod niya."Want to go somewhere?" tanong niya nang makaupo na kami. He reached for my hand and
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All their eyes are on me. Waiting for me to explain where I went last night. If only dad's stares were scorching, I might have turned to ashes here in my seat now."Have you swallowed your tongue, Carmell?" hindi na nakatiis na tanong nito. "We're asking you. Where have you been last night?" He asked again. This time, in a low yet cold tone."I...I-I just...went somewhere, where I can relax, dad. Don't worry, I didn't do stupid things as what you always think." His jaw clenched simultaneously with the movement of his adams apple."Darling, we're just worried. Next time, let us know your whereabouts." I nodded at what mom said. "Have you eaten breakfast?""I'm fine, mom.""Stop spoiling your daughter, will you?" naiiritang saad ni dad. "She's no longer a child. Let her be responsible, Myriam," dugtong pa nito mas lalong nagtatangis ang bagang."She's my child, Raymond. Don't command me to take
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"You're exaggerated, Viviane. I'm just not feeling well, don't give a conclusion without basis. Just a reminder, we're not in court," I said and rolled my eyes at her.She took a deep breath. Her eyes still on me, as if I am a criminal and she's the prosecutor. Sinusuri niya ang bawat paggalaw ko. I stood up. Her stares really scares the hell out of me."Why do you think you felt these all of a sudden? Do you even try to take a glance at the mirror, Carmell? You look pale. There's something inside of you, admit it," pagpupumilit pa niya na tila siguradong-sigurado sa sinasabi.I pursed my lips to stop myself from talking back. Maybe she has a point, but heck my mind can't absorb it. How could I be pregnant in just one time sex? For sure that guy know what are the consequences, so he had use a protection perhaps.But what if he didn't? No Carmell, you're not pregnant. Don't jump into a conclusion.
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I quickly smite Viviane on her nape as soon as we get inside my room."Ouch bitch, why did you do that?!" she groaned with a sharp look, while caressing her nape.Nakakainis! I craved it for one week. Nahawakan ko na. Nasa kamay ko na, nawala pa! Gusto kong umiyak. Maglupasay. How could be this world so cruel? I only wanted to eat mango, pero bakit pinagkakaitan ako?"Oh shit! Are you crying over that mango?" Viviane stated. I just threw her a death glare. "Fine. I'm sorry," saad niya sa malambing na tono.I turned my back at her. Folded my arms over my chest, like a kid throwing tantrums. They don't know what I feel. Why I became sensitive all of a sudden? Nevermind!"Here, I brought an extra for emergency." I looked up at her. She was holding a paper bag laid out in front of me. "You know I'm a soldier, always prepared.""Yet you let me cried first." I poked her after grabbing it
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Drone of the yacht engine woke me up. A sunbeam hits my face that makes me groaned. I could feel my body waving along with the ocean waves crashing on the yacht. Eyes still partly closed I pulled myself from the cot.Where's Viviane? I streched my arms and opened the door. That bitch, she didn't even bother to wake me up.I peeked a look at my wrist watch. It's already 7 in the morning, yet we're still here in the midst of ocean. We were travelling for almost half of a day, using Viviane's private yacht, and just paid someone to drive for us. She's indeed living with everything laid out in front of her. Born with a golden spoon in her mouth, so am I?"Here bitch!" I turned my head on wherein Viviane's voice came from. She waves her hand, sitting comfortably on the deck. I had sneered at her when I saw her holding a bottle of liquor.For pete's sake, is it her way to greet a new day? Sometimes she's hard to read. Weird and inexplica
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I was just sitting on the upside-down boat here in sea sore. It's been 3 months. My pregnacy was now visible. I already have a hard time moving my body. Viviane visited me once a month.Nag-iingat na baka malaman ng pamilya ko na alam n'ya kung nasaan ako. Thinking of them, I couldn't help but blame myself. When I escaped 3 months ago, and my supposed fiance' found out, he took everything from dad. According to him it's our payment for dad's non-fulfillment agreement. Because of what he did, dad had a heart attark that lead him to be paralyzed.As much as I wanted to go back, I couldn't. Makakadagdag lamang ako sa problema na meron sila. It was all my fault. So I only go back, once I already have a solution to all problems I caused."Ate Carroll!" tawag mula sa likuran ko. Maya-maya pa'y narinig ko na ang mga yabag niya palapit. "Halika na, kakain na tayo." He reached for my hand to help me."Thank you
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I covered my face with my hand when the rays of the setting sun hit my eyes. In the eight hours I stood in the convenience store I did nothing but smile. I didn't know that it was jaw -dropping.Walking in a the middle of the busy street has become a part of my daily life. I've encountered a million of people everyday. Some of them may be the same person I'd bump into yesterday, some may not."Oh Carroll, kalalabas mo lang sa trabaho?" asked Aling Josefa, one of our neighbors."Ah opo. Saan po ang punta ninyo?" I asked her back."Sa bayan, ibebenta ko itong kakaunting isa na nahuli ng asawa ko." Tinaas niya ang dalang timba. I just nodded and started walking again.It's five o'clock and she's still going to town? Well, that's how life works here. You must've to strive hard, otherwise you won't have a food to serve at your dining table.As I lift my chin again, there's a little boy running towar
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I covered my face with my hand when the rays of the setting sun hit my eyes. In the eight hours I stood in the convenience store I did nothing but smile. I didn't know that it was jaw -dropping.Walking in a the middle of the busy street has become a part of my daily life. I've encountered a million of people everyday. Some of them may be the same person I'd bump into yesterday, some may not."Oh Carroll, kalalabas mo lang sa trabaho?" asked Aling Josefa, one of our neighbors."Ah opo. Saan po ang punta ninyo?" I asked her back."Sa bayan, ibebenta ko itong kakaunting isa na nahuli ng asawa ko." Tinaas niya ang dalang timba. I just nodded and started walking again.It's five o'clock and she's still going to town? Well, that's how life works here. You must've to strive hard, otherwise you won't have a food to serve at your dining table.As I lift my chin again, there's a little boy running towar
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Drone of the yacht engine woke me up. A sunbeam hits my face that makes me groaned. I could feel my body waving along with the ocean waves crashing on the yacht. Eyes still partly closed I pulled myself from the cot.Where's Viviane? I streched my arms and opened the door. That bitch, she didn't even bother to wake me up.I peeked a look at my wrist watch. It's already 7 in the morning, yet we're still here in the midst of ocean. We were travelling for almost half of a day, using Viviane's private yacht, and just paid someone to drive for us. She's indeed living with everything laid out in front of her. Born with a golden spoon in her mouth, so am I?"Here bitch!" I turned my head on wherein Viviane's voice came from. She waves her hand, sitting comfortably on the deck. I had sneered at her when I saw her holding a bottle of liquor.For pete's sake, is it her way to greet a new day? Sometimes she's hard to read. Weird and inexplica
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I quickly smite Viviane on her nape as soon as we get inside my room."Ouch bitch, why did you do that?!" she groaned with a sharp look, while caressing her nape.Nakakainis! I craved it for one week. Nahawakan ko na. Nasa kamay ko na, nawala pa! Gusto kong umiyak. Maglupasay. How could be this world so cruel? I only wanted to eat mango, pero bakit pinagkakaitan ako?"Oh shit! Are you crying over that mango?" Viviane stated. I just threw her a death glare. "Fine. I'm sorry," saad niya sa malambing na tono.I turned my back at her. Folded my arms over my chest, like a kid throwing tantrums. They don't know what I feel. Why I became sensitive all of a sudden? Nevermind!"Here, I brought an extra for emergency." I looked up at her. She was holding a paper bag laid out in front of me. "You know I'm a soldier, always prepared.""Yet you let me cried first." I poked her after grabbing it
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"You're exaggerated, Viviane. I'm just not feeling well, don't give a conclusion without basis. Just a reminder, we're not in court," I said and rolled my eyes at her.She took a deep breath. Her eyes still on me, as if I am a criminal and she's the prosecutor. Sinusuri niya ang bawat paggalaw ko. I stood up. Her stares really scares the hell out of me."Why do you think you felt these all of a sudden? Do you even try to take a glance at the mirror, Carmell? You look pale. There's something inside of you, admit it," pagpupumilit pa niya na tila siguradong-sigurado sa sinasabi.I pursed my lips to stop myself from talking back. Maybe she has a point, but heck my mind can't absorb it. How could I be pregnant in just one time sex? For sure that guy know what are the consequences, so he had use a protection perhaps.But what if he didn't? No Carmell, you're not pregnant. Don't jump into a conclusion.
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All their eyes are on me. Waiting for me to explain where I went last night. If only dad's stares were scorching, I might have turned to ashes here in my seat now."Have you swallowed your tongue, Carmell?" hindi na nakatiis na tanong nito. "We're asking you. Where have you been last night?" He asked again. This time, in a low yet cold tone."I...I-I just...went somewhere, where I can relax, dad. Don't worry, I didn't do stupid things as what you always think." His jaw clenched simultaneously with the movement of his adams apple."Darling, we're just worried. Next time, let us know your whereabouts." I nodded at what mom said. "Have you eaten breakfast?""I'm fine, mom.""Stop spoiling your daughter, will you?" naiiritang saad ni dad. "She's no longer a child. Let her be responsible, Myriam," dugtong pa nito mas lalong nagtatangis ang bagang."She's my child, Raymond. Don't command me to take
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Seems as if everything stand stil. There's no loud music that has been rumbling inside the bar recently, while his soft and damp lips still clinging on mine. Without a second thought, my lips began to move. Gentle. Slow. Passionate. Synchronizes every movement of his'. Not even minding where we at. I felt a sudden surge of my stomach. Oh feels like my intestines crawling like a worm inside my tummy.Could it be possible, when your mind get responsive on whats your heart desire? Magical thing does really exist, once you are in love? Am I in love? No...it can't be. I automatically pushed him when everything sink in."What's wrong?" Hinawakan niya ang aking pisngi. Bahagyang yumuko upang mas matitigan ako nang mabuti."Umupo nalang tayo," sagot ko. Tinabig ko ang kanyang kamay at iniwan na s'ya roon. Ngunit ramdam ko ang pag-sunod niya."Want to go somewhere?" tanong niya nang makaupo na kami. He reached for my hand and
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I just found myself sitting at the corner of the bar, waiting for someone that will get my attention. If dad wouldn't change his mind, then be it. Pero hindi ako makukuha ng matandang iyon ng buo.Muli akong tumungga sa hawak kong bote ng alak. Maluha-luha ako nang ibaba ko iyon, hindi naman kasi ako gano'n kasanay uminom.I smeared the side of my lips, as I shifted my gaze to a burly man walking confidently towards bar counter. He's wearing a white long sleeve button down shirt that well-fitted to him, leaving the three buttons above unwound, while the sleeves folded up to his elbow. I mentally rolled my eyes as I saw how other girls giggling while looking at him.Kumuha ako ng isa pang alak sa bucket na nasa aking harapan. Nakakaramdam na ako ng kakaiba sa aking katawan, marahil tinatamaan na ako ng alak.I turned my gaze toward his direction again. He's now sitting comfortably and sipping his brandy. I averted my eyes wh
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I was staring at the ceiling of my room. It's already 12 midnight, but I didn't feel even a shir of drowsiness. I pulled myself up from the bed. Binaluktot ko ang aking tuhod, and leaned my chin there.What should I do? Hindi ko na mababago ang isip ni dad. Kahit si mom at ate ay hindi siya mapigilan.Ayokong maging asawa ng matandang lalaki na nalalagas na ang buhok. Does that mean, I have to mingle with other wives of whoever Poncio Pilato? I can't!I've automatically stand up when those scenarios appeares in my head. I gotta do something to stop this stupidity plan of dad.Hindi naman ako pwedeng tumakas. I have nowhere to go. Kung meron man, siguradong mahahanap din ako ni dad. Think Carmell, think. Tinungo ko ang closet. Humila ng kahit anong hoddie roon. Sinaklob ang hood. I slowly open the door of my room.Patay na ang lahat ng ilaw. I could only hear was the ticking of the clock. I lifted my foot
