An hour and a half later, Isaac and I are joined at the hip, chatting about literally anything that comes to our minds. I know my pupils are dilated to the point where my eyes are nearly black and that I'm talking way too much, but I'm having more fun with him than I thought I would. And he is funny.
I see Isabella plopped down on a couch looking lost, so I excuse myself and go over to her to see if she's okay.
"Are you okay?" I ask, getting a déjà vu as I sit down. I look at the city behind her for a moment. The sun hasn't come out yet but it's not going to be long, and I love how a lot of lights are still turned on throughout the city that never sleeps.
"I'm just super drunk." She whines, leaning her head on my shoulder. "I want to go back to the hotel."
"I have the room key."
"Do you want to come with?"
I look outside where Isaac is waiting for me on a loveseat. "In thirty minutes?"
She smiles, but there's sadness in her eyes. "Okay."
"What happened?" I ask, knowing better than to just stand up and leave.
"I just don't understand why he can't see it."
"Who? See what?"
She points to the place across the room at the bar where Matteo and Vinnie are talking.
"Matteo?" I ask.
She looks disgusted. "Ew, no."
"Vinnie?"
She nods.
"What? Can't see what?"
She shrugs. "That they all just want his money and attention. They don't care about him, and he just cares about all the wrong people."
I look at her watching him as she talks, and it suddenly makes sense. At some point I suspected that she might be in love with Matteo, because she always talked about how better off everyone was without Allison and Sophia with a hint of jealousy in her voice.
But it had been Vinnie all along. I would've never guessed, even though it makes sense now.
"Does he know you like him?"
She looks up at me. "Of course not. And he never will, okay?"
I frown. "I think that's a bad idea."
"Never telling him?"
"Yes. Maybe he feels the same."
"If we were meant to be we would've been by now." she says and leans back into the couch. I look out at the city below us. I can see the Hudson River and I wonder how many people get to see what I'm seeing right now.
"So, you seem to be getting along well with Isaac." She changes the subject.
"Yes, but-"
"Stop with the excuses, Valentina! I feel like you're trying to find excuses not to enjoy the attention of a cute guy who isn't an asshole."
"I think you should listen to your own advice."
"I've never told anyone that before, you know. It feels good getting it out. Do you think I'm crazy?"
I look at her in awe. "What? Why would I think you're crazy? I think falling for your best friend is the most beautiful thing in the world."
"If it's reciprocated, that is."
"You won't know if it is until you tell him."
"But the friendship-"
I stand up. "I feel like you're trying to find excuses not to enjoy the love of a guy who isn't an asshole." I say, trying to mimic her Italian accent.
"He is kind of an asshole though." Isabella says, smiling. "Okay, I'll wait thirty minutes."
I kiss her on the cheek before I hurry back outside, feeling excited to talk to Isaac. I know it's most likely from the drugs, but I haven't had this much fun talking to a guy in a long time.
Someone starts rolling joints at some point, which makes everyone outside join into one big group therapy session as the sun slowly comes out. I look at Isaac's profile while he talks to one of the guys in our group.
For a moment, I wonder whether Matteo even likes having people over all the time and if he doesn't sometimes wish to just go to sleep, but then I focus on Isaac again. His hand is on my thigh under my dress, just resting there, and part of me wants him to put it even higher, to kiss me, to do anything.
I need to talk to Isabella.
"Finally." Isabella gets up from the couch where she was just talking to Matteo.
"Uhh. I think I want to stay a little longer."
"It's fine, I'll just order an Uber." Isabella waves it off. "You decided you're interested?"
Matteo looks up at me and I shrug. "Maybe? I haven't figured it out yet."
Isabella grabs my arm. "Okay, I'm going to be direct. You need new dick. I know you're on your self-discovery journey and whatever, but it's okay to be horny and it's okay to hook up with that hot guy you've had a crush on since middle school. If I were you, I would do it."
I cross my arms. "Oh, would you really?"
Isabella flips me off before she announces her departure.
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" she yells at me as she walks away.
Twenty minutes later, more people leave, so I go back inside with Isaac to sit on the couch. I keep asking myself whether I want to stay, go to his place, go home, or just see where this goes. I'm in the middle of telling him about a time I missed a flight to Spain whilst being in the airport, when he suddenly kisses me.
His kisses are more aggressive than I would like but his hands are soft and slow and he's making me feel comfortable, so I go along with it.
Reality sinks in while I straddle him on the couch. I stare out at the sun coming up over the city and realize that I'm in a random apartment with a guy I had a crush on five years ago but has always seemed unattainable.
I break off the kiss to look around – everyone's gone and I'm way too horny to stop now.
"What do you want to do?" he asks, lips buried into my neck.
Honestly? Have sex.
"Are there any empty rooms?" I choose to ask instead, but he understands and is up for it.
"Marco isn't here today, so yes."
I stand up and he keeps me from stumbling on my heels. It's now or never. "Let's go."
He kisses me as soon as I say the words, with a force that surprises me but also turns me on, so I let him guide me to the bedroom he was speaking of.
It doesn't last as long as I would have liked, and fifteen minutes later he's already asleep on the other side of the bed, leaving me horny and lonely.
Scrolling on my phone puts me to sleep for a few hours until the sun wakes me up at 2pm.
It's too hot under the covers and Isaac is still asleep so I get out of bed as quietly as possible, wrapping the blanket around me. I cover a naked Isaac with another blanket before I make my way towards the kitchen.
"Coffee." I say to myself and look at the coffee machine on the counter. My father uses the same one but I can't find capsules, so coffee in a pot it is. I think I've only done coffee in a pot a couple of times before, but I know you have to put the coffee in first and then let the water boil.
Holding up the blanket around my body while also making coffee seems to be harder than I thought. The fact that I've only slept two hours and didn't take my makeup off makes me even more uncomfortable.
I hear someone walking down the hall in my direction and panic because I can't recognize the steps. Matteo appears from around the corner, and before I can even explain myself because he looks surprised, Isaac also makes an appearance. With a towel around his waist. Great.
We all say hello to each other, and I turn around to focus on the coffee, letting the two of them fill the silence.
"I need to go, I have an appointment today." Isaac says and looks at me. "I'll text you." He winks and walks away in the direction of the bedrooms.
Matteo and I both watch him walk away, and I don't look at him when he turns to face me.
"What?" I ask, feeling as if he's trying to say something.
"How was it?"
"Excuse me?"
"Isaac, I mean."
I cross my arms over my chest, gripping harder into the blanket. "It was okay."
He smiles. "I never thought he had it in him."
"What do you mean?"
Matteo shrugs. "I didn't think he'd sleep around."
I frown. "I don't sleep around either."
"I didn't say you were. I was just saying that he's softer than most guys, and I didn't think he'd actually make a move."
Well, if I'm completely honest with myself, that explains the average sex - the type of sex I had with Jamie towards the end of our relationship. Sex just for the sake of having sex. For the sake of the guy having an orgasm before he goes to sleep. Boring.
But still, it felt good to have that feeling of someone inside you after a long time of doing it yourself.
"Well, you know him better than I do." I say, turning around to check on the coffee.
"Did you do drugs?"
"Don't I always?" I sarcasrically reply, not really joking.
It isn't something I am proud of, but every time I'm in the city I end up doing bad things and feeling guilty the next day. But then it all goes away, and I crave yet another dopamine rush because nothing else does it for me anymore. I feel like I've watched all the movies and shows there are to watch, and I haven't read since I left Italy last summer.
I realize I zoned out when Matteo walks over to the window and opens it to let some fresh air in.
"So?" he asks, leaning against the counter. I look at him confused.
"So what?"
"Did you do drugs?"
"Haven't I already answered that question?"
"I meant with him."
---
I love writing their dialogue scenes, they're very entertaining to me :)
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"You didn't specify. And yes, we did. Molly."Matteo raises his eyebrows and looks at the boiling coffee. "Hm." He pauses. "I never would've thought he does drugs."I roll my eyes at him. "Everybody does drugs.""In theory, yes, but I think 'drugs are everywhere' would be more accurate. I just thought Isaac was always judgemental about this stuff because he plays football.""Looks like you're the judgemental one, hm?"I turn off the stove and push the pot away from the heated circle."Like you didn't judge him at first for being a football player."I blink at him with an innocent look on my face. "No, I didn't."
MatteoPalermo, Sicily, 2020 – (nearly) summerWhen Matteo decided to call Valentina and ask her to come take the exam together, he realized that begging would be his last option. When they were forced into lockdown in Italy, he didn't think about the fact that he would be spending more time with his father, and he could see first-hand how much work Matteo was putting into his studies.His father kept asking about exam dates and upcoming projects, and it all came down to Business Psychology, which was the only course where he didn't have someone who could help him pass.During the early hours of Thursday, May 28th, a private jet departed from their landing strip outside Palermo and set off towards Moscow, where it would pick up Valentina at 8am. By the time Matteo wakes up at 12:30, Valentina has already texted him that she's landing in 30 minutes.He jumps into the shower, already feeling pressured by tim. His parents have been out since yesterday and Matteo has no idea when t
Valentina opens her mouth to answer but Matteo's phone starts ringing. It's Isabella Facetiming him."Hi.""Are you done with your exam?" she asks in Italian. Matteo turns the camera to show Valentina. She waves. "Valentinaaa!" Isabella excitedly screams. "Are you in Sicily? This is perfect! Let's talk about Vinnie and Pia's birthday because for some reason she thinks I should be helping her with it.""Don't be mean." Matteo tells her in Italian, then switches to English. "Didn't she say she wanted to do something in Ibiza?""Yes, but everything is closed because of Covid. She was crying when she called."Matteo snorts and looks at Valentina, who is too focused on the sea to even listen to their conversation."I think I have an idea." Matteo says after thinking about it for a minute. "I know some guys on the island, I can arrange a yacht.""Yacht party?! She'll love that. I'll tell Vinnie too."At this, Valentina turns her head to look at the phone. "I'll call them now." Matte
They take Matteo's convertible, with Vinnie sitting in the passenger's seat holding a bag of wine bottles. Pia, Aurora, and Valentina are sitting in the back, already sharing the bottle from 2010. Marco and Eddie chose to stay home and play Fifa, and Isabella is waiting for them in front of the restaurant in the city.The drive takes just fifteen minutes because there's not even one car in sight, and the city feels different when it's deserted. The sun is setting behind them and the silence is eerie as Matteo parallel parks in front of their closed restaurant."It's weird, right? The silence." Aurora says in English, hopping out of the car without even opening the door, then grabs a bottle from Vinnie's bag."Shouldn't we at least be wearing masks?" Valentina asks, looking around."Don't be a loser." Pia laughs and shakes her head, taking the bottle from Aurora's hand. "There's no one around. Salute!" She raises the bottle and takes a long sip from it."Yes, that's the spirit!" A
Matteo takes out his driver's license and a 100 Euro bill before handing them over to the guy who spoke to him. Then he motions for Aurora to get out of the fountain."If you think this bribery will work then you're mistaken, Mr..." the officer trails off as he reads his name, voice breaking at the end. "Oh. Mr. Giudice?""Yes, and that 'blonde' is my little sister, Aurora." Matteo adds, pointing to her, before placing both of his hands in his pockets and finally relaxing.The other policeman checks his ID as well, looking at him then at the photo about five times before handing the ID back to him. The 100 Euro bill didn't make it back, of course."Have a good night." The first to talk smiles at him, before bowing his head and going back to the car.
ValentinaPalermo, Sicily 2020 – summer I wake up in an unfamiliar room with a dry mouth, completely disoriented. It takes me a few seconds to realize that the cream-colored ceiling and the matching drapes don't belong to my bedroom in Russia.Fragments of my dream come back to me as soon as I completely wake up. I try to shake them off, bury them somewhere deep in my brain where I'll never find them again. It's a new day, but the view I have of the trees doesn't look like rainy Moscow.Then I remember that I'm in Sicily, sleeping in a guest room in Matteo's house. I sit up and groan, rubbing my eyes and running my hands through my hair. I can still taste the wine from last night.My mom wasn't too happy about me being in Italy during the pandemic, but getting out of the house after two months feels good. My dad hasn't even read the messages I sent in the group yesterday.Raisa: you're in Palermo????"Uuugh." I say under my breath as I read the message she sent last night. While I
Raisa: I talked to ArianaRaisa: I'm flying out in an hour, see you there!!"¡Se deve autoinvitarsi, dille almeno di portare Aleksi!" For a moment I think Matteo's talking to me, but then I see him holding the phone up to his mouth to send voice memos. All I understood was 'autoinvite' and Aleksi, which tells me everything I need to know."Who are you talking to?" I ask.---See you on Wednesday !I hope you enjoy the book x"Vinnie. Your friend is coming too."I squint at him. "'My friend' is your friend too."Matteo pretends not to hear me as he lights another cigarette."And don't act like it's such a drag that she's coming. You know exactly why you want Alex there."He rolls his eyes. "Did I say anything? You're the one getting defensive."I don't bother telling him I heard it in his tone, the way he told Vinnie that Raisa invited herself in Italian, thinking I couldn't understand him. I know Spanish, or at least I understand it from all the telenovelas I used to watch and the
As if on cue, I hear Isabella calling my name. We meet by the door. She looks very happy and pleased with what she heard. It relaxes me enough to trust the process."Your turn."I take my seat in front of Pandora, who is busy shuffling the cards and looking at an unlit candle.