Chapter 4: Kadeer

I stood at the doorstep of Zion and Nisa’s house waiting for one of them to open the door. I had just gotten off work, and I was beyond tired. I was there to pick up my girls and see what they wanted to do for the day. So there was no time for complaining. I would get sleep whenever I could.

            “Hey, man,” Zion said as he opened the door to let me in.

            The aroma of breakfast cooking along with the laughter of my girls and Zion and Nisa’s daughter, Kensey, filled the air as I stepped inside.

            “Hey, thank you again for watching my girls,” I said.

            “You’re good, man. The girls are upstairs playing and talking. Well, except for Kala. She’s in there helping Nisa,” Zion informed me as we headed toward the kitchen.

            “Morning, Nisa.” I greeted her as we entered the kitchen, “Morning, baby girl,” I said to Kala, causing her to roll her eyes.

            “Oh no, ma’am. We’re not about to do all of that. Your father spoke to you, Kala. We don’t do disrespect up in here.” Nisa scolded her.

            “Morning,” Kala muttered as she averted her eyes.

            Nisa paused from putting seasonings on the eggs and folded her arms across her chest.

            “And what else?” Nisa asked firmly as she glared at Kala.

            “I’m sorry for rolling my eyes,” Kala said quickly.

            “No, you’re not sorry. You apologize. Kala, you need to stop being like that with your father. He works hard for you and is there for you all the time,” Nisa advised.

            “Nisa,” Zion said, attempting to stop her lecture.

            “Yes, baby. I’m going to stop. Kala knows she's my girl. She just needed a reminder,” Nisa expressed as she hugged my oldest daughter.

            “May I be excused?” Kala requested with a forced smile.

            “Yes, you may, Kala,” I stated as I nodded my head.

            She hurriedly moved past me and ran up the stairs to be with the girls.

Kala loved Nisa, but it was obvious she didn’t appreciate her getting on her about her behavior. I tried to be patient with her because I knew it was all about Skylar feeding her lies about me. But Nisa was right. Kala needed to change her attitude toward me.

            “Hey, Kadeer. How was work?” Nisa questioned as she flipped a few pieces of French toast over.

            “It was good,” I replied. “But look thank you again for helping out with the girls.”

            “Kadeer, if you don’t stop thanking us for watching those precious babies of yours. It’s no problem at all. It’s always a pleasure to have them here. Besides, they love coming here, too,” Nisa assured me.

           “Kadeer, I’m so sorry you have to go through that. Kala is a sweet girl, so I know it’s not her fault. It’s nothing but that Skylar making her behave like that,” Nisa expressed.

“Nisa,” Zion fussed at her while he shook his head.

“What? I’m telling the truth. Right, Kadeer?” Nisa retorted.

“It’s OK, man. Nisa is right. Skylar puts all kinds of ideas in Kala’s head. I’ve been trying my best to protect Skylar’s image to Kala, but I’m wondering if it’s even worth it. What bothers me is that my daughter thinks I’m some kind of monster who broke up the family. What worries me, even more, is that it’s going to eventually rub off on the other girls. My daughters are my life, and I would do anything for them. I don’t want them thinking less of me, especially when I didn’t do anything but do my best to be a good husband and father,” I explained.

“Yeah, that’s true, man,” Zion agreed. “I hope everything works out for you because this just doesn’t make any sense.”

“I believe it will. I mean, it has to. In the meantime, I just have to keep pushing and keep making the girls my priority,” I added.

“That’s all you can do,” Zion agreed.

“Yeah—” I attempted to speak, but my phone began to ring.

My entire being cringed when I saw Skylar’s name flash across my screen. Whenever she called, it was never a peaceful situation. We already had words with each other the night before. I wasn’t in the mood to rehash any disagreements, especially since the girls were upstairs. Still, at the end of the day, Skylar was the mother of my children. I just couldn’t ignore her.

“Excuse me,” I said to Zion and Nisa as I walked out of the kitchen.

I walked to the den to have some privacy.

“Good morning,” I greeted her when I answered the phone.

I wasn’t the type of man who liked drama and confusion. I enjoyed peace and tried to acquire it at all costs. So I was praying that my positive energy would radiate onto Skylar. Because God knew I just didn’t feel like arguing.

“Where are my kids?” Skylar snapped while ignoring my greeting.

“They are with me,” I responded.

They're with you where?” Skylar quizzed with an attitude. “Because I know you all aren’t at home. I’ve been ringing your doorbell for almost an hour,” she emphasized.

There was no reason for her to ring my doorbell for that long. Skylar knew my character and knew I would never treat her like that. I refused to feed into her dramatics.

“Skylar, the girls are with me at Zion’s house,” I calmly advised her.

“Oh no, Kadeer! I’m on my way to get them. I can’t believe you have them over Zion’s house. He can’t stand me, and I know his wife talks about me,” Skylar ranted.

“Skylar, would you calm down, please?” I ordered. “Don’t come over here with any drama. As a matter of fact, don’t come here at all. It’s early in the morning, and the girls haven’t eaten breakfast yet. You called me last night and told me I needed to get the girls. Well, I have them now, so just go relax, Skylar. You know they are in good hands with me,” I stated calmly.

“How are they in your hands, though? I’m not stupid, Kadeer. You had them staying over at Zion’s house last night. I told you to come and get them. You are their father. They don’t need to be with anyone but you,” Skylar argued.

I took a deep breath and shook my head. It was amazing to me how Skylar liked to change the narrative.

“Skylar, what else was I supposed to do? I had to go to work. Was I supposed to leave the girls by themselves?” I retorted.

“Kala is old enough to watch them,” Skylar declared.

When she made that comment, I knew that she was really losing her mind. For one, Kala was not old enough or responsible enough to watch the girls. Secondly, if she were, then why wouldn’t she have kept them at her house?

“Skylar, what time do you want me to bring the girls to you?” I questioned, ignoring her foolish comment.

“I guess after they are finished eating,” Skylar snapped. “I need to talk to you about something anyway,” she continued.

“What would you like to talk about?” I inquired and immediately regretted it.

“About us, Kadeer. I’m tired of fighting with you. I made a mistake, and I feel that you should forgive me for it. We need to just remarry and be a family. Then you wouldn’t have to worry about coming to get the girls. We would just be together again,” Skylar pleaded.

Hearing her speak those words made me realize I had to get a hold on the situation between us. We were divorced, but she was still holding out hope we would reunite. Plus, for her to admit in a roundabout way that she wouldn’t use the girls against me if we got back together blew my mind. I couldn’t allow my daughters to continue going through this dysfunction. Something had to be done immediately.

“Skylar, we don’t need to talk about that. You have been talking about it since you cheated on me. I forgave you a long time ago, but our marriage is over. What I won’t allow you to do is continue to use the girls as a pawn against me. You already have Kala hating and disrespecting me. I’m not putting up with this nonsense anymore. I don’t want to be with you. Please, just move on,” I informed her.

“Move on!” Skylar yelled. “You want me to move on, so you can be with someone else!” She began to cry.

I was too exhausted and drained to continue the conversation with Skylar. It was the same song every other day.

“Skylar, listen. I need to go check on the girls. I’ll call you when I’m on my way,” I informed her.

Without even replying, she ended the call. After I shook my head again, I looked up, and out of my peripheral, I saw Kala standing in the doorway. With all the back and forth between Skylar and me, I didn’t hear her enter the den. I prayed she didn’t hear the exchange between her mother and myself.

“Kala, is it time for you all to eat breakfast?” I quizzed, trying to gauge her spirit.

“Yeah, I came to tell you that. But then I found you arguing again with my mother and hurting her feelings,” Kala spat.

As a father, I found it difficult at times to discipline my girls. I would always leave that task to Skylar, which she never did, and Kala’s disrespect was getting out of hand.

“Kala, I understand you love your mother, and you should. There is a lot going on that you don’t know about, and to be honest, you don’t need to. You’re still a child, and with that being said, you need to stay in a child’s place. I know you’re hurting, and I’m here for you. I’m not going to have you disrespecting me, though,” I admonished her.

Kala stood in front of me with a frown on her face, but she knew not to go any further with her attitude.

“Do you understand?” I quizzed firmly.

“Yes, sir,” Kala uttered.

“OK, good. I love you, Kala,” I told her before kissing her forehead.

She didn’t return my affection, which kind of did something to my heart. She was my first born, and it pained me to know she thought the worst of me. I knew in time she would see things clearly.

“Come on, and let’s eat breakfast,” I stated as I exited the den.

As we entered the dining room, we were met with the chatter of my girls and Zion and Nisa’s daughter, Kensey. When my girls laid eyes on me, all of them ran to me.

“Daddy!” they all squealed.

“Hey, my baby girls,” I said lovingly as I hugged each one of them.

Kala slid into her seat and sat quietly. From my peripheral, I could see it bothered her that her sisters were giving me so much love. It was saddening to see her behave that way, especially considering she was the same way as them over a year ago.

“Daddy, are we going to your house when we finish eating?” Danai questioned when she sat at the table.

“That is the plan,” I informed her with a smile.

Truthfully, I didn’t have a plan for what I was going to do with the girls. I didn’t have to work again until the next night, but I had a feeling Skylar was going to pull the same stunt she did last night. Even though my girls were my priority, I had to get some sleep. It wasn’t that I was being weak or complaining, but working in construction, I couldn’t afford to have any mishaps. Getting enough rest was crucial.

As we ate the hearty breakfast of French toast, scrambled eggs, turkey bacon, and grits that Nisa prepared, I felt my eyelids getting heavy. Being sleepy and eating well like that was not the perfect combination. Before I knew it, I dozed off.

“Kadeer!” Zion shouted as he nudged me.

“Daddy! Daddy! Wake up,” Ariah and Sadia sang with their small voices.

“I’m up,” I uttered.

My eyes popped open, and I brushed my hands over my face. I had no idea how long I had been asleep, but it didn’t help much at all. As I looked over at my girls, I knew rest would have to wait. I had to figure out who was going to watch them. Even though Skylar insisted I bring them back to her, she would eventually want me to get them at the last minute.

“Kadeer, let me talk to you for a minute, man,” Zion requested as he rose from the dining room chair.

“OK, what’s up?” I quizzed while following behind him to his spacious backyard.

“Listen, Nisa and I had been talking about this for a while now. I think you should let Nisa watch the girls for you now so you can get some sleep. Moving forward, Nisa will keep the girls whenever you have to work,” Zion announced.

“Man, I appreciate that. I really do, but I can’t ask you to do that. That’s a lot of responsibility. I mean, that will be my girls plus Kensey. That’s a lot,” I expressed.

“First off, you didn’t ask us to do anything. We were the ones who have been discussing this. Secondly, Nisa wants to do this. The girls don’t give her any problems. Besides, Nisa feels she would be able to balance out the negativity Skylar is placing on them. She’s not trying to replace their mother. She just feels they need a positive female influence in their life right now,” Zion explained.

“I can’t disagree with you on that,” I agreed as I rubbed my hand over my head. “I truly appreciate this, but I have to ask. How much do I need to pay her?”

“If you don’t get out of here with that foolishness,” Zion said, waving me off. “We don’t want your money, Kadeer. We want to help you. I know things are tight for you right now. I also know you’re trying to start your business. You know you’re like a brother to me. I believe in you and want to see you make it. So just let us help you,” he encouraged.

“OK, Zion. Cool. I’ll accept the help. It means a lot to me. But I have to at least provide food for the girls. You see my baby girls love to eat,” I teased.

“Yeah, they do. That’s fine, but if you ever need help on that, just know we got you,” Zion assured me.

“Thanks,” I stated as I shook his hand.

Some men are very prideful, and I possessed that characteristic at times. When it came down to providing for my girls and ensuring they were secure, I had to place my pride to the side. Zion and Nisa were a blessing in disguise. Whether Skylar liked it or not, Nisa would be their babysitter whenever she wanted to interrupt my work schedule.

“No problem,” Zion replied. “But on to another matter, Nisa and I were talking about your personal life too,” he added.

I sighed and shook my head. I already knew where the conversation was headed. They had been encouraging me to start dating again. I wasn’t interested or in any position to bring a woman into my life. Between taking care of my girls and grinding hard to start my construction business, I just didn’t have the time, finances, or energy to invest myself in a woman.

“Don’t start all of that, Kadeer. You don’t even know what I’m going to say,” Zion stated as he chuckled.

“What is it?” I questioned with a smirk.

“After you go home and get some rest, we’re going to go drink some beer. Nisa will watch the girls. No excuses,” Zion stated matter-of-factly. “You’re always working, and you need to have some time for yourself. You’re not going to be good for your girls if you don’t take care of you. You have them more than Skylar does. It’s OK for you to have a break, man,” he advised.

Truthfully, I couldn’t argue with him there. I did have the night off, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt. Honestly, I felt guilty at times if I didn’t spend all of my downtime with my daughters. It was almost as if I were trying to compensate for not having them in a two-parent household. At the end of the day, Zion was right. A few hours of me unwinding wouldn’t hurt anyone.

“OK, man. I’ll be ready,” I informed him.

“Cool. Now, go home and get some sleep. I’ll call you to tell you when to be ready,” Zion stated.

We headed back inside the house, and by that time, everyone was finished eating breakfast. I hugged each of my daughters and told them I loved them. They all returned the love, except for Kala. I knew in time she would come around. In the meantime, I said my goodbyes to everyone and headed home to reenergize my body.