004

“Why now, of all years?” Sarah said in her mind, staring at the test result in her hands, tears gradually flowing out of her eyes.

She couldn't believe Harold and rushed out of his house, and since pregnancy tests were free, she stopped at the nearest hospital to confirm.

Chloe handed Sarah the test result with a smile, and she expected Sarah to be excited, but seeing her mood, she showed concern. “What’s wrong?”

Sarah wiped her eyes and shook her head. “Nothing. I’m fine.” She responded, forcing a smile.

“You're an adult and should be happy about this? Aren't you married or a divorcee? Scared of being a single mother?” Chloe asked.

Sarah forced a smile as she shook her head. “That’s not-” she wanted to talk, but Chloe cut her off.

“Put your mind at rest. Delivery is free,” Chloe said, her pitiful tone matching her expression. “For the baby stuff, be punctual at the weekly ante-natal. I'll put in good words for you so others will contribute to you.” 

“You don’t-” Chloe had more to say, but someone interrupted.

“Don’t you think you talked too much?”

A voice came from behind, and looking backward to see Sandra, Sarah veered around and ran to her with open arms. “Sandra…” she called in a shaking voice, tears flooded out of her eyes.

Sarah knew she might break down if the result came out positive, so she messaged Sandra in advance so she would have someone to lean on and cry.

“The result is positive. What should I do?”

Sandra rounded her arms around her and patted her back. “There’s always a reason for everything. Just calm yourself. Whatever the next step is, you won’t go back to Charles, and neither will you abort the pregnancy. It’s a blessing and we’re keeping it.”

Sarah relaxed her head on Sandra’s shoulder and sighed. “Thank you.” She uttered, unable to stop the tears from flowing out of her eyes.

“Remember, you’ve me. I get your back and for no reason will I ever leave you alone. Not even for a second. Except I’m dead. And even if I’m not alive, Sarah, I’ll keep my eyes on you from heaven. Forever friendship is our deal, and so shall it be,” Sandra declared. She rounded her hands around Sarah tighter and rubbed her back until her eyes glimpsed Chloe watching them.

Sandra elevated her left eyebrows and nose. “What are you looking at?” She challenged.

“I was just-” Chloe had an explanation, but Sandra didn’t want to hear.

“Limit your gossip or you will land in trouble soon,” she warned. “Had it been that you put this effort into your life, would you still be wearing a blue uniform around? It’s been years, but you’re still a junior staff. No promotion. Don’t you feel ashamed?”

Chloe bent her neck. “I’m sorry,” she quickly apologized. “The baby is safe, but the doctor said you should stay away from stress, take adequate rest, and come around frequently for a check-up.”

“Isn’t saying this earlier better than the nonsense I met you splitting?” Sandra hissed and took her eyes off Chloe.

“I’m sorry.” Chloe uttered and with her face cast downward, embarrassed, she walked away in a hurry.

 Sarah lifted her head from Sandra and looked at her in the face. She tightened her lips and swiftly shook her head. “I’m-”

Sandra placed her finger on Sarah’s lips and shook her head in opposition. “You don’t need it. Don’t say a word. I can’t feel your pain, but I can understand it,” she spoke in a cool tone. “Sarah, I won’t tell you to stop crying because I know how much you’ve struggled to keep the happiness you thought you’d found,”

“Girl, to the memories of wasted efforts, struggle, time, and most importantly to the anguish you’re facing now, cry all you want. Holding tears causes the heart incurable disease,”

She held Sarah’s head and caged it between her hands and locked eyes with her. “If needed, once we get home, you can fall to the ground, roll on the floor, and cry all you want. However, once this phase is over, you must chin up and smile. You must make sure nothing will take away your happiness. You must give it all it takes to live the happiest life you deserve,”

She loosened her hand from her cheeks and slightly looked away from her. “When will you sign the divorce paper?”

“Tomorrow. I’m not sure of the time.” Sarah responded.

“Perfect,” Sandra uttered. She grabbed Sarah’s head lightly and looked straight into her eyes. “Babe, this is a command. Make sure your sorrow follows the signature you’re putting on the paper tomorrow. Let the pen ink wash it away.”

“Will it be easy? Can I ever heal from this pain, Sandra? In my life, all I’ve ever tasted is betrayal from those I chose to love. From those I care about,” Sarah Spoke with a trembling voice. “What have I done to deserve this? Don’t I deserve love?”

“You do, Sarah. But that’ll happen after you take a bold step. I told you to worry less about others. For once, prioritize yourself, your well-being, your safety, and your happiness and do what will make you happy, not what will make others happy,” Sandra encouraged. “And yes, babe, you can heal, but it may take time. Healing has never been easy and its duration is determined by your determination and how strong you are,”

“Girl, you’re a brave woman. You’re stronger even than me because you sacrificed a lot for love, which I can’t. If you want to heal, you can. Whoever hurt you doesn't deserve you, and I believe whoever deserves you will locate you soon.”

“I did already.”

A voice intervened and tracing it to the entrance direction to see who was coming towards them, Sarah chuckled. “You again.” She whispered.

“Look who comes for you.” Sandra let out with the transparency of excitement in her voice.

Sarah gave Sandra a side look. “Why will he come for me?” She questioned. She stared forward, eyeing Harold walking closer and immediately he stopped closer to them, she stormed him with questions. “What are you doing there? Didn’t I tell you I don’t want to see you again? I don’t want to cross paths with you. I don’t want to set my eyes on you ever again.”

 “Calm down, Sarah,” Harold uttered with a cool voice, but his presence was adding to Sarah’s anger and pain and her eyes instantly turned outrageously red.

“Don’t tell me what to do. Why should I calm down? Because you need me to?” Sarah couldn’t help raising her voice. “Harold, why are you stalking me?”

“I’m not stalking you. I followed you down here.” He pointed out.

She widened her eyes, asking, “and why did you follow me here?”

“Because I was worried about you,” he spoke out. “You left in a rush. I knew you were coming to the hospital and offered a ride, but you refused. I followed you here because I couldn’t take my mind off you.”

“Harold, if you want to know, yes, I’m in pain. I’ve always been in pain, but your presence won’t ease them. It will fuel my anger,” she poured out. “Don’t you get it, Harold? I want to take my heart away from all that causes me sorrow, and I want you far from me because you’re one of those. Go away from me. I told you that earlier, didn’t I?”

Harold breathed out softly and nodded, “yes, you did. You made yourself clear, but I didn’t agree to your term,” he let out. “I also made it clear I can’t stay away, but I will watch you from afar, but I can’t resist coming closer if I see you in pain,”

“If you weren’t crying, I wouldn’t have come closer. I would have distanced myself as agreed. But what do you want me to do?” He split out, his face clouded with concern and his forehead wrinkled as he proceeded. “What could I do when your tears pierce my wounded heart?”

“I don’t care about what it will take you. Your pain or sorrow is no longer part of my concern, Harold. All I want is to survive!” She yelled at him.

Sandra took a step forward. “Calm down…” she persuaded, stretching her hand forward to grab Sarah’s hand, but Sarah flinched her hand away.

“Leave me alone…” Sarah directed her words to Sandra. She faced Harold and snickered. “Young man, no matter how cool you want to portray yourself, I’m not stupid to fall for it again. I once fell, but what ended it? Didn’t I drown, Harold?”

She sighed and lowered her voice. “If I have to repeat it thousands of times before you get it, I will. Read my lips, Harold. I don’t want to see you again. The happiness you once took away from me no longer lies in your hand,” she expressed. “Harold, being with you offered me nothing but pain; one worse than what I’m battling right now and nothing will change. It never did,”

“If there’s anything I wish for right now, it will be for you to vanish. I want you to disappear. Is that too hard to do? Hun? Can’t you just do that for peace to reign?”

“Yes, Sarah. It’s easier said for you, but the hardest for me to do,” Harold spoke out. “If you want me to stay away. If you want me to disappear. Even if you wish, the ground will open up and swallow me, I'll do it without regret, but not until I return your joy. Not until I see you happy again. Not until I return what I stole from you.”

Sarah chuckled and crossed her hand over her chest. She blew soft air through her mouth and maintained an intensive gaze into his eyes as she bent her neck to the left. “If I may ask, Harold, what did you steal from me?”

Without giving her question a second thought, Harold gave a response. “Your happiness, your radiant smile, your joyous laughter, your heart, your love. Everything that made me feel alive then. Everything that made you the happiest person around me then,” he took a step closer and locked eyes with her. “Everything that brightened my life. Everything that created the most precious part of my memory. Everything that I think of every moment,”

Tears welled up in his eyes, but he wiped them before they could flow out. “Sarah, all I could think of that couldn’t let me take you off my mind. Those I remember and can never forget which make you my most precious human,”

He licked his lips and a drop of tear fell from his eyes. “Please, Sarah. Allow me to return all I owe. Grant me the access to make you who you deserve to be. Sarah. I want another chance to build what used to be between us and believe me, I won’t disappoint you again,

“You once drowned, and I’m back to take you out. Please, come back to me. Let's plan everything. Please, Sarah. Let’s row our boat and let no one, not even my mother decide where we will head to…” his voice was so cool and soothing that Sarah couldn’t do anything but watch his lips and let his words penetrate her ears and sink into the depth of her heart.

“For the second time, please let me have you as mine again and I can assure you won’t regret it. I’ll let it be for better or worse this time around. Angel, I can give up all I have, all I will have just to be with you.”

He slowly took his steps one after the other and, with an almost non-existent gap between them, Sarah suddenly got out of her thoughts. She took her eyes off his mouth and shook her head.

“No!” She shouted and held her chest. “Never!”

He held her. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” He showed concern, his voice matching the worry in his voice.

She pushed him backward and discharged a deep breath. “None of what you said is possible,” she declared, grinding her teeth because of the pain ripping her heart. “Find another lady to lie to. I hope it doesn’t take long before she figures it out. It’s late for you.”

“I know it’s late, but it’s not too late.” Harold said, and Sarah slapped him.

“Now, I feel relieved. I did all I could think of,” Sarah said. She grabbed Sandra’s hand and before Harold could say another word, she walked past him, taking her step in a fast stride.

“No longer living for anyone. I’ll live and survive for myself and my baby. All I want now is my happiness and I’ll chase after it at all costs. I hate you and your family, and I want nothing to do with Harrison ever again in my life.”

Harold slowly turned around and watched Sarah pace out of the hospital. He ran his upper teeth over the lower ones and banged his fist on the chair beside him. “Fuck!” He yelled, ignoring all the attention that was shifted to him.

He roughly scratched his head with his hands and bit his lower lips. “Sarah, I want you. I won’t give up. And for you, I’m now ready to tackle anything and anyone. I’ll make sure no one, not even that old witch, stops me,”

He loosened his shirt button and, with his eyes fixed on the entrance, he exhaled softly. “Just wait and let me, in every way, give you a reason to love me again.”