Raging Hormones

“Well, his plans for the holidays fell through and he needs a place to stay, so I said he could stay here. Is that all right? I figured you wouldn’t mind.”

Here. Trevor King here. In my house. For two weeks. I can practically hear the universe rolling on the floor in its laughter. I push through my shock. “Of course. The more the merrier.” My brother and his family are also staying with us until Christmas, but it’s okay. We’ll just be a house that’s a little fuller.

Trevor still has that little smile on his face. “Thank you for your hospitality.”

“I’ll just go get some extra blankets and make sure we have enough food for dinner tonight.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

I make my way downstairs and into the kitchen. I should have enough food—it’s just one extra person. But that extra person feels like he takes up the space of three. A flush creeps up my neck. I can’t believe I’m letting myself get rattled like this, over a boy.

Over my son’s friend. Another part of my mind whispers that he’s not a boy, what I saw upstairs was all man. Hockey has been good to him, obvious muscle packing his frame. He’s definitely not the boy that used to come over after school, and the smile on his face tells me that he knows that.

I check the fridge. I’m not sure what I was thinking. With the family coming over tonight we’ll have enough food for an army. I shake my head to clear it. Get a hold of yourself, Stella. Him being here doesn’t mean anything. Just your old body responding to youth and…what’s that word? Virility. Youth and virility. No problem.

It doesn’t matter that you haven’t had a date in over a year and nothing but your fingers and a vibrator before that. That’s fine. It doesn’t change anything. The vibrator is reliable, and after Christmas you’ll try to make an effort to go on more dates with someone of an appropriate age. I head to the back of my house—my bedroom and bathroom are tucked in the back corner off the living room. What‘s now bedroom used to be my office, but when Brad left for college last year I decided I wanted more space.

Before I get the blankets, I go into my room, suddenly feeling the need to change. I mean, I look fine. But everyone is coming over tonight, and I should look nicer. It’s only right that I look good for Brad’s welcome home dinner. I put on a pair of black slacks and a soft black sweater.

I ignore the voice in my head that chastises me for wearing this sweater because of the deep neckline. I tell it to shut up when it tells me that I’m wearing it because I know it makes my breasts look amazing, and that I want Trevor to see. That is definitely not why I’m changing. I have every right to look good in my own home when everyone is coming over for dinner. The perfume I spray on my neck is totally innocent too. It’s not a crime to smell good.

I smooth my hair down in the mirror and remember that I was supposed to be getting blankets. I search through the linen closet and find sheets, a couple of blankets, and a pillowcase. Brad can give Trevor one of his pillows. I take a deep breath and rein in all possible inappropriate thoughts about Trevor. Everything is fine. His being here is fine.

I walk into Brad’s room, and immediately drop all the blankets on the floor. Brad isn’t here, but Trevor is. A very, very shirtless Trevor. My mouth goes dry, and I feel a sense of déjà vu. That same feeling of roaring attraction that spread through my body last year. It’s back, and stronger.

I can’t deny that Trevor is hot. I can see the muscles in his back flex as he turns towards me, drawn by the sound of my clumsiness. And the front is even better than the back, everything about his body showing the time he puts in at the gym and on the rink.

Before I can even think, my eyes follow a path from his collarbone across his chest and down. His abs are perfect, but my eyes stop at that smooth patch of skin that disappears into his jeans, and I’m furious at myself for how badly I want to see what’s underneath.

“I’m sorry,” I manage to say. “I didn’t realize…”

His eyes run up and down my body slowly, and I feel the temperature in the room rise. I wonder if he noticed that I changed. I wonder if he knows—if he thinks—that it’s for him. “That’s all right,” he says. “I was just changing for dinner.”

A sure smile spreads across his face, and I realize that I’ve been staring at him. At his body. My entire face flushes and his smile gets even bigger. It’s a cocky smile, and I realize that he knows. Oh god, he knows that I can’t stop looking at his body, he might know every other thought I’ve had about him, including what it would be like if he crossed the room and kissed me and didn’t stop—

STOP. Geeze!

I force my eyes off him and onto the floor and see the blankets I dropped, which he made me completely forget about. I bend down to pick them up from the messy tangle they’ve fallen into. “I brought these for you to sleep with—I mean under…To use when you go to bed—” I close my eyes. Is there anything I can possibly say about these blankets that doesn’t sound sexual? I open my eyes, and Trevor is now in front of me.