Chapter 3

“Yuck!”

“Did you saw her scars?”

“It’s kadiri.”

Napayuko ako habang naglalakad palapit sa cottage namin. I can’t help but to sob slightly while listening how they talk behind my back. What’s wrong with my scars? It’s not that I choose to have this as well.

Napangiti ako nang makita ko si kuya Daze na busy sa pagtitipa ng kanyang telepono. Katabi nito ang bestfriend niyang si Hayden na nakasuot din ng swimsuit. Hindi ko maiwasang pasadahan ng tingin ang buo niyang katawan at piping humiling na sana ganyan din ako kakinis.

“Kuya!” I called him.

Nang lingunin ako nito ay malawak akong ngumiti. Sa lahat kasi, si kuya ang nagpaparamdam sa akin na perpekto ako sa kabila ng mga flaws ko.

Sadness conquered me when I read the disgust stare along his cold eyes.. “What are you doing here, Diana? And why are you wearing that?”

Nanubig ang mga mata ko sa narinig. “K-kuya—”

“Andito na pala si Miss Peklat,” mapang-uyam na sabi ni Hyden na sinundan ng tawa ng iilan. “Hi.”

I look at kuya. “K-kuya Da—”

“Go back to the hotel room, Vielle. You don’t belong here,” pagpuputol ni Hyden sa ano mang sasabihin ko. “Hindi talaga ako makapaniwalang kapatid mo ‘yan, Daze. She has a lot of scars!”

Tuluyan na akong napaatras nang ismiran ako ni kuya. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I run back to the hotel. Nakakahiya. Nahihiya at naaawa ako sa sarili ko.

Akala ko ipagtatanggol niya ako.

Akala ko lang pala...

He wasn’t my knight-in-shining armour anymore. 

He is now someone I hate the most.

Nang makapasok ako sa hotel room na inuukupa namin, I went directly in front of the mirror. Tears keep falling on my cheeks as I whispered.

“I hate you, Daze Jaden.”

“Fuck!” I cursed as I felt my head about to crack.

Anong nangyari?

Minulat ko ang aking mga mata ngunit agad rin itong pinikit nang makaramdam ulit ako ng kirot. Damn that beer. What the fuck happened last night?

Kinapa ko ang night-stand upang hanapin ang aking cellphone. Nang makapa ko ito, mabilis ko itong ini-unlock at tinignan ang oras. It’s still nine. I took a deep breath and dropped my phone on the bed. Wala sa sarili kong isinuklay ang aking buhok habang nakatitig sa nakakasinag na kurtinang tumatabon sa bintana. I suddenly gripped my hair near my hair roots while forcing to remember what the fuck happened last night and why I can’t recall a thing.

Sa huli, napagdesisyunan kong bumangon kahit ayaw ng katawan ko. Walang mangyayari kung tutunganga ako. As long as I did nothing wrong, I'm fine with that. I still need to finish my homeworks and I have a lots of things to memorize. Sa pagpasok ng Enero, isang madugong examination ang bubungad. And I need to get ready. Dagdag pa ang thesis ko na wala pa akong nasisimulan. Damn, such a talented student I am.

Bagsak ang mga balikat akong naglakad patungo sa banyo bitbit ang isang tuwalya. My tummy is yelling for food but I need to take shower first.

Nang makalampas ako sa human sized mirror bago makapasok ng shower area, napuna ko ang medyo namumulang parte ng pulso ko. Sinabit ko muna sa rack ang tuwalya at hinawakan ang namamaga kong mga pulso.

“Saan ‘to galing?” I asked to myself while scanning my wrist.

I bit my lip and my mind starts thinking about what happened last night. Kahit anong halungkat ko sa aking isipan ay hindi ko talaga maalala kung saan ko nakuha ang namamaga kong pulso. It’s like I was tied whole night. Pero sino namang magtatali sa’kin?

Napabuntong hininga ako at pumasok na sa loob ng shower area. I turned on the shower and let the water stream all over my body. Nakatitig lamang ako sa blurry glass wall ng shower area habang nagbabalik tanaw ang isipan ko sa nakaraan.

My hand balled into fist, anger rushed through me. Wala sa sarili kong hinawakan ang binti ko na puno ng peklat dati. But now, wala na akong makapa. What I had was flawless legs and skin. I chuckled nonchalantly. That incident happened seven years ago. Ngunit galit pa rin ang nararamdaman ko sa’king kapatid.

Kung pinaglaban niya kaya ako noon, magkakaron kaya ako ng lakas ng loob para maging ganito ako ngayon?

But the disgust on his eyes seven years ago, is still vivid inside my head. How he looked away to avoid my gaze was something that pierced my heart. It’s painful. But the most painful was I assumed he would protect me from that bitch.

I blinked, dragging myself out from my reverie and continue my bath. Mabilis lamang akong natapos at agad na lumabas. Binalot ko ang sarili ko ng tuwalya at naghalungkat sa closet ng masusuot kong damit. Natigilan naman ang kamay ko nang mapansin ko ang isang pares ng bikini na niregalo sa akin ni mommy.

I smile wickedly while looking at the bikini. Kinuha ko ito at agad na ibinagsak sa sahig ang tuwalyang nakapalibot sa katawan ko. Sinuot ko ito at napatingin sa vanity mirror. I can’t help but to let out an annoying chuckle. My scars were gone, and I guess now is the best time to conquer my fear of showing my skin.

I put on a see-through blazer and a dolphin short. Inilugay ko rin ang buhok kong lampas balikat lang ang haba. I glanced myself in front of the mirror for the last time before storming out of the room. Nang makababa ako ng hagdan ay sinalubong ako ng isang kasambahay.

“Magandang umaga po, Senyorita. Nais ka daw pong makausap ni Senyorito Daze,” nakangiti nitong usal.

I can’t help mysef not to grimace. “Pwedeng mamaya po? Gutom na ako, e.”

“P-pero, Senyorita, pinapapunta na daw po kayo ngayon.” Naglikot ang mga mata nito na para bang natatakot sa magiging responde ko sa sinabi niya.

I nodded and took a deep breath. “Maghanda nalang kayo ng pagkain.”

Umaliwalas ang mukha nito. “Sige po, Senyorita.”

I nodded and she walk passed me, heading towards the kitchen but I stopped her. “Nasaan sila mama?” Nilingon ko ito.

“Umalis na po sila kaninang umaga. Ang sabi po, helicopter ni Senyorito Daze ang gagamitin.”

Muli akong tumango. “Cook me meals.”

“Sige po.”

Nagsimula na akong maglakad pabalik ng pangalawang palapag. His study room is located on the second floor. Sasakit pa ang paa ko kakaakyat-baba ng hagdanan. Kung bakit ba kasi walang elevator. Bahagya akong napaismid sa sarili.

Nang makarating ako sa tapat ng pinto ng kanyang study room ay kumatok ako. I waited for his response before opening the door to enter the room. Tahimik ko rin itong sinarado at tumingin sa kanya na nakakunot ang noong nakatingin din sa’kin.

“Gusto mo daw akong makausap?” I asked in a monotone.

I saw how he eyed me from head-to-toe, and it made me uncomfortable. Pero kahit ganu’n, hindi ko maiwasang mapangisi sa aking isipan.

Go on, brother. The body you eyed with disgust before was now different. Tell that to your bitchy bestfriend.

“Saan ka pupunta?” he asked.

I shrugged. “Maybe I’ll take a swim later. Mamaya ko na gagawin ang homeworks ko.”

Mariin itong nakatitig sa’kin. “Why don’t you take a sit first?”

“Magtatagal po ba ang usapan natin?” Hindi ko maiwasang mairita. I’m hungry and I feel uncomfortable with him around.

“Sit,” he ordered.

I rolled my eyes at the back of my mind and sat on his visitor’s chair. “Bakit po?”

“What you're wearing is inappropriate, Diana.”

Gusto kong tumawa ng pagak ngunit pinigilan ko ang sarili ko. Instead, I smile widely. “I heard you stayed in California for five years. This is a normal outfit in there. Don’t act like a conservative person.”

And there, my bitchy button kicked in and I totally forgot I’m aiming for him to buy me a condo.

“Diana.” His voice thundered the four sided room. “Do you think you’re in a right position to talk back to me like that?”

Umiwas ako dito ng tingin. “Sorry.”

Irritating silence fill us, and it was me who decides to broke it. “Anong pag-uusapan natin?”

“Are you planning to showcase your skin outside?” mahina at malamig nitong tanong.

With that question, anger fills my being. You really know how to provoke my bitch button, Daze Jaden.

“Yes,” taas-noo kong tugon. “I mean, there’s nothing wrong about that, right? If you’re worried about my scars, it was long gone. Look...” I stood and shamlessly showed him my bare legs. “Wala na. It’s not disgusting to look anymore—”

“Diana Vielle,” he called me. And that is when I already know he is now pissed. “Go back your room and do your homeworks,”

Napatitig ako dito. Tumayo ako na hindi man lang inaalis ang paningin sa kanya. “Are you gonna be like that?”

“What?” His forehead creased and his brows went in straight line.

“Are you gonna be like this? Manipulate me around? Kuya, can you give me freedom sometime? Because to be honest, nasasakal ako,” I said.

He leaned on his seat to look at me. “Is talking back to me your habit?”

Napayuko ako. He’s in the power, I’ve got nothing against him. “Sorry. Babalik nalang po ako sa kwarto.”

Tumalikod na ako at naglakad patungong pinto. I was about to reach the door knob when he spoke.

“If you want to take a swim, there’s an indoor pool. Just ask them where it is. Don’t go out.”

--

Tahimik kong pinagmamasdan ng aking repleksiyon ng tubig. Iniisip kung bakit galit ang mga mata ng kapatid ko kanina habang nakatingin sa’kin. It’s like I did something wrong without me knowing a shit about it.

Wala sa sarili kong hinawakan ang tattoo kong nasa right part ng collar bone ko, well, not really in the collarbone. Nasa baba ito ng collarbone ko, malapit sa aking shoulder blades. It’s just a minimalist tattoo na aakalain mong nunal sa malayuan. But it is a small black heart. Pinatatak ko since the day I oat to myself I won’t let anyone degrade me for my flaws and imperfections.

No one is perfect. If there is, then that person is not a human.

“Ito na ang juice mo, hija,” ani ni manang Bebang, ang asawa ng caretaker dito sa resthouse ni kuya. And as what she said, anak niya pala ‘yung babaeng naghatid sa akin sa magiging kwarto ko.

I look up at her and smiled. “Thank you, manang.”

Ngumiti ito. “Napakaganda mo talaga, hija.”

I smiled. “Si manang napaka-flutterer. Pero thank you po.”

“Hay...” She inhaled deeply. “Sana ganyan din kabait si Senyorita Taliah.”

Dahil sa sinabi ni manang, nangunot ang noo ko. “Oh, you mean, Taliah ‘yung girlfriend ni kuya?”

Ngumiti ito at tumango. “Oo, hija.”

“What about her?” I asked as I took a sip on my juice.

Nasa indoor pool ako kagaya ng tugon ni kuya. After eating my breakfast, I went directly here and spent my time diving and swimming. Nang mangalay ang mga binti ko ay saka na ako sumampa sa gilid ng pool at nanghingi ng juice kay manang Bebang.

“Huwag mo sanang sabihin ito kay Senyorito, ah.” She heaved a deep breath. “Pero napakasama talaga ng ugali ni Senyorita Taliah.”

“Bakit po?” I wiggled my feet on the water.

“Basta,” she said. The word that describes a lot of things. Basta.

Napangiti ako at muling ibinigay sa kanya ang baso nang mapansin kong ubos na ito. “Salamat sa juice, manang.”

“Walang anuman, hija.” She smiled. “Tawagin mo lang ako o si Bina kung may gusto kang iutos.”

I nodded. “Sige po.”

Nang makaalis si manang Bebang, agad kong inilublob ang sarili sa tubig. I dive until I reached the floor of the pool. Agad ko ring ipinalutang ang aking sarili nang maramdaman kong kinakapos na ako ng hininga.

Humawak ako sa handrail at hinila ang aking sarili paangat mula sa tubig. Droplets of water cascades down from my hair to my body. Inabot ko naman ang tuwalya at tinuyo ang aking buhok. I also dried myself and wore the bathrobe just beside the towel.

Nangunot ang noo ko nang makarinig ako ng nabasag na gamit sa living room at ang matinis at hindi pamilyar na boses ang nagsisigaw. I curiously made my way towards the said scene.

“I told you to be careful, didn’t I?! Bakit napakatanga mo?!”

A sophisticated woman was yelling at Bina, manang Bebang’s daughter. Broken glass were on the floor and I spot a stain on the woman’s dress. Napaangat ang kilay ko. Sino ba ‘to? Ito ba si Taliah?

Nakita ko namang lumabas si manang Bebang mula sa kusina. “P-pasensiya na po, Senyorita—”

“At ikaw rin.” Bumaling ito kay manang. “Educate your daughter correctly! Did you know how much this dress cost?! It cost more than your life!”

Nag-init ang ulo ko sa narinig. Look, I’m a bitch sometimes. But I know when to show it and I know how to respect elders. This woman doesn’t. Mas lalo lang din napaangat ang kilay ko. Ano daw ulit? Costs more than a life?

“A life of a human is priceless, Miss I don’t know who you are.” Tikhim ko dahilan upang lingunin ako nito. “Your dress didn’t even look attractive. Where did that cheap dress came from?”

“And who are you to stick your nose into someone’s business? Did you even know the word manners?”

I chuckled. “Of course, I do.” Tumingin ako kay Bina. “Kumuha ka nalang ng dust pan at walis. Just clean the mess, thank you.”

“Bitch,” I heard the woman said.

Napangiti ako. “To answer your question again, yes, I do know the word manners, and you didn’t.” I smiled sweetly. “Balik ka nalang po sa kusina, manang, and continue what you’re doing.”

“Masusunod, Senyorita.” Nginitian ako ni manang.

“Sino ka ba, huh?!” sigaw nito. “How dare you to boss everyone around?!”

I chuckled and walked my way back to the pool when someone grabbed my hair tightly. Damn it!

“How dare you also to turn your back on me while I’m talking,” mariing wika nito.

Inis kong hinila ang buhok niya ng mas mahigpit at tinanggal ang pagkakahawak niya sa buhok ko.

“Naiirita ako sa’yo,” kalmadong saad ko ngunit nangangalaiti na ang ngipin ko. I want to crush her face against the wall.

But my deadly thoughts was interupted when someone spoke.

“The hell are you doing, Diana?!”