And Cara is born! What did you think of Clint losing his mind? I have chapter 74 written, but I hate it. So, I'm not publishing it today. I need to try to re-write it, again. Updates occur daily.
As easy as my pregnancy was, adjusting to having a baby has been difficult for me. It’s supposed to be easy, right? Everyone says it comes naturally. Well, I’m here to tell you, it doesn’t always come naturally. Like latching on to my breast. Cara is supposed to have some instinct to latch on and my body is supposed to be what she needs, but we struggled. It took weeks for us to figure it out and countless tears on my part. ‘Don’t get frustrated, she’ll feel it.' 'Don’t give up, you can do this.' 'Don’t do this, don’t do that, try it this way, try it that way.’ Everyone has a damn opinion about how I should nurse my child or what I’m doing wrong. All it did was make me feel more like a failure that it wasn’t working. After another bout of crying about being a worthless mother who can’t do the one thing my body is inherently meant to do, feed my child, Clint comes and takes her from me. He heats up a bottle, balancing our little girl while managing to heat up the bottle and test i
My girls are the highlight of my life. There is nothing better than having the two of them in my arms together. Some nights, like tonight, I come into our room and my mate and my daughter are on the floor playing together. They are playing with blocks and building what looks like a packhouse and pack lands. “There’s my girls.” I say as I walk in. “Daddy!” My baby girl gets up and runs over. I scoop her up and throw her in the air, listening to her squeal. I catch her and pull her against me, kissing her face and neck while Donovan purrs against her. “Daddy, stop!” She says in a fit of giggles. Lily comes over and wraps her arms around me, hugging me. “Welcome home, love.” I hold Cara in one arm while Donovan continues to purr at her and take my mate in the other, kissing her until I hear her moaning softly. “I missed you.” I tell her, finally letting her come up for air. She looks up at me, her eyes filled with love. “I missed you, too.” I lean in, nuzzling her ear. “Maybe you c
One night, not long after Cara’s 5th birthday, I’m in our room, cleaning up while Donovan takes Cara for a run. Suddenly, I feel a presence and I whip around, ready to fight, my claws coming out. As soon as I see the woman, I gasp and my claws recede. She’s beautiful, almost glowing. She’s wearing a floor-length white dress. She’s barefoot and her hair falls long and straight down her back and over her arms. “Mother.” Andra says, bowing our head in submission. “Hello, my child. I see you recognize me.” “Are….are you the Moon Goddess?” I ask, not sure that I’m seeing what I think I’m seeing. She smiles at me kindly. “Yes, but you may call me Selene.” That seems wildly inappropriate. “What are you doing here?” I ask her. “I’ve come to speak to you. Come, sit with me.” She says as she walks to our couch and sits down, patting the seat beside her. I go to her and sit. When I do, she reaches out and caresses my hair, similar to how I do with Cara. “You’ve been such a good Guardian f
When the call came out, I realized Lily and I would once again be separated. I hate when we’re separated. It’s easier for me to fight when she’s by my side. But Calista and Rik were exposed and away from Anders. He couldn’t get to them. When Donovan got to Anders, he was fighting off eight wolves at once. Without my help, he would most likely be killed. He’s a strong Alpha, but eight is too many, even for me. I jump in, not thinking twice. This is what I do, it’s what I’ve always done. I protect my Alpha, my friend. Five of the wolves come after me, recognizing me as the bigger threat by the gold color of Donovan’s eyes. I’m fighting them, injuring them, but not able to take them down, when I feel Lily’s pain. It’s everywhere. She’s injured and she’s injured badly. “Hold on Lily, I’m coming!” I say and I rip the throat of the first wolf I can get to. My mate is in trouble. She needs me. Donovan grabs the back of the neck of another wolf and shakes his head violently, paralyzing him.
I wake up in a beautiful meadow. It feels like spring. The air is warm, but not hot. There’s a stream gurgling nearby and birds are singing all around me. I sit up, looking around. ‘Andra?’ My head is empty. Andra is gone. Is this death? I’m in a beautiful place, but I’m alone? “Andra!” I yell, looking around. And that’s when I see her. Selene. Beside her is a beautiful brown wolf. “Andra?” She comes bounding over to me, tackling me to the ground. “Andra. Oh Andra!” I say, hugging her and running my fingers through her fur. I look up and stand as Selene walks up. “Lily.” She says to me before looking around. “Is this your realm?” I ask her, following her gaze. “No, it isn’t. It seems you Guardians continue to surprise me. You’ve put yourself in a place where it appears you can choose.” “Choose?” “Choose to come with me to my realm or stay and watch over your family and friends.” She gestures in a direction, and I see what looks like a pack gathering in the distance. “Why ca
When I returned to the packhouse after being in the hospital, Anders had moved most of my things to a room on the first floor. It was just another reminder of how far I had fallen. The name stuck and I could hear people whispering about ‘the broken warrior’. I waited until after Lily’s funeral before approaching Anders. “I’m leaving Anders.” “Where are you headed, Clint.” He asks me as we navigate through the packhouse. It was never meant to house a wheelchair. Anders has made accommodations for me, but it’s not how the packhouse was built. “I’m taking Cara and we’re leaving. I can’t stay here.” He stops, turning to look at me. “No.” “You don’t have a say in it. I’m no good to you anymore. I’m not even capable of being your Guardian.” "You're still a warrior in this pack." "But a broken warrior, right? Isn't that what everyone is calling me, the broken warrior? I can’t live like this. I won’t live like this." Anders snarls and he immediately sends out an Alpha command telling
Time moves differently in this place. At first, it moved slowly. I spent a lot of time with Cara and Clint as they were hurting so much. Most nights, I would sleep beside Clint. But if I heard Cara crying, I’d go lay down with her. Sometimes I would spend time with Calista who holds a lot of guilt for my death. No matter how many times Anders tells her it wasn’t her fault, she still blames herself. I listen to my daughter when she calls Liam, crying on the phone, or telling him something funny that happened at school. She’s afraid to tell her father, although he usually already knows. But she doesn’t want to upset him because she is finding small moments of happiness. Liam is always a good friend to her, supporting her and validating her feelings. I’m not sure I realized how important it was for him to have me, until I watch how valuable having him is to Cara. I watch as Clint slowly begins to live again. I like sitting with him at my memorial. It’s like he’s really talking to me. An
My Lily bud is always here, watching over me and Cara. It changes things for me. It makes the days easier. I have no intention of letting my mate down, so I begin to plan what needs to happen to train my daughter and make her the strongest Guardian alive. That does give me a moment of pause. Guardians are reborn, so where is Andra's Guardian spirit? I would look after her too, make sure she is safe. I need to talk to Anders about that, see if she’s popped up somewhere and I’ve just been so lost in my grief that I didn’t pay attention. The next couple of days, I make a plan to build a training ground for Cara. I make a list of all the materials I'll need and what I can do in the interim while I’m building. When I go to the store for my dinner with Anders, I grab some steaks, potatoes and green beans. I pick Cara up from school and send her to the table to do her homework while I start dinner. It’s Thursday and I have a lot to prepare before Anders arrives. “Dad, what’s going on?” Car