This one was still hard to write. It will start getting easier from here.
I wake up in a beautiful meadow. It feels like spring. The air is warm, but not hot. There’s a stream gurgling nearby and birds are singing all around me. I sit up, looking around. ‘Andra?’ My head is empty. Andra is gone. Is this death? I’m in a beautiful place, but I’m alone? “Andra!” I yell, looking around. And that’s when I see her. Selene. Beside her is a beautiful brown wolf. “Andra?” She comes bounding over to me, tackling me to the ground. “Andra. Oh Andra!” I say, hugging her and running my fingers through her fur. I look up and stand as Selene walks up. “Lily.” She says to me before looking around. “Is this your realm?” I ask her, following her gaze. “No, it isn’t. It seems you Guardians continue to surprise me. You’ve put yourself in a place where it appears you can choose.” “Choose?” “Choose to come with me to my realm or stay and watch over your family and friends.” She gestures in a direction, and I see what looks like a pack gathering in the distance. “Why ca
When I returned to the packhouse after being in the hospital, Anders had moved most of my things to a room on the first floor. It was just another reminder of how far I had fallen. The name stuck and I could hear people whispering about ‘the broken warrior’. I waited until after Lily’s funeral before approaching Anders. “I’m leaving Anders.” “Where are you headed, Clint.” He asks me as we navigate through the packhouse. It was never meant to house a wheelchair. Anders has made accommodations for me, but it’s not how the packhouse was built. “I’m taking Cara and we’re leaving. I can’t stay here.” He stops, turning to look at me. “No.” “You don’t have a say in it. I’m no good to you anymore. I’m not even capable of being your Guardian.” "You're still a warrior in this pack." "But a broken warrior, right? Isn't that what everyone is calling me, the broken warrior? I can’t live like this. I won’t live like this." Anders snarls and he immediately sends out an Alpha command telling
Time moves differently in this place. At first, it moved slowly. I spent a lot of time with Cara and Clint as they were hurting so much. Most nights, I would sleep beside Clint. But if I heard Cara crying, I’d go lay down with her. Sometimes I would spend time with Calista who holds a lot of guilt for my death. No matter how many times Anders tells her it wasn’t her fault, she still blames herself. I listen to my daughter when she calls Liam, crying on the phone, or telling him something funny that happened at school. She’s afraid to tell her father, although he usually already knows. But she doesn’t want to upset him because she is finding small moments of happiness. Liam is always a good friend to her, supporting her and validating her feelings. I’m not sure I realized how important it was for him to have me, until I watch how valuable having him is to Cara. I watch as Clint slowly begins to live again. I like sitting with him at my memorial. It’s like he’s really talking to me. An
My Lily bud is always here, watching over me and Cara. It changes things for me. It makes the days easier. I have no intention of letting my mate down, so I begin to plan what needs to happen to train my daughter and make her the strongest Guardian alive. That does give me a moment of pause. Guardians are reborn, so where is Andra's Guardian spirit? I would look after her too, make sure she is safe. I need to talk to Anders about that, see if she’s popped up somewhere and I’ve just been so lost in my grief that I didn’t pay attention. The next couple of days, I make a plan to build a training ground for Cara. I make a list of all the materials I'll need and what I can do in the interim while I’m building. When I go to the store for my dinner with Anders, I grab some steaks, potatoes and green beans. I pick Cara up from school and send her to the table to do her homework while I start dinner. It’s Thursday and I have a lot to prepare before Anders arrives. “Dad, what’s going on?” Car
For the next few years, I get into a pattern of training Cara. We train early in the morning, then while she is at school, I work on my upper body strength by building and testing the training facilities I’m building for her. It’s a work in progress, but I feel closer to Lily while I build this for our daughter. In the afternoons, I train Cara again, sometimes joining her, and then it’s dinner, homework and bed before we turn around and do it again. Cara is the absolute best daughter a parent could ever want. I don’t know if it’s because we had those years after Lily’s death where I struggled to be present, but she never tests me. She is smart, and we talk about her schoolwork, her studies, and I give her extra Guardian studies during the weekends when she’s training her endurance in the pool. The older Cara gets, the more she looks like Lily. She’s gorgeous and I’m thankful that she has listened to everything I’ve told her about the mate bond and that she’s waiting for her mate. I t
I’ve continued to watch the life of my family. I’ve watched my daughter grow into a beautiful woman. She is not only beautiful on the outside, but she’s also beautiful on the inside. Clint has done such a great job raising her, as I knew he would. And I love that he still talks to me at night, as if I’m right beside him, which, of course, I am. I’ve watched as Cara developed a sweet romantic interest in Liam, watched while Rik finally realized who my daughter is and began laying his claim to her and I never left her side when Eli kidnapped her. Andra had snarled and snapped at him every time he came in to try and mark our daughter. Not that it made a difference, but we were there, trying to protect her. So, I was there when they went to Araphyra. Donovan wasn’t the only one that seemed to remember King Ailduin’s name. Andra sat up when they mentioned him. “Do you remember him, Andra?” She looks at me and chuffs. Her memory seems to be stronger than Donovan’s. When they arrive, Andr
At first, when the vampire sank his teeth into my neck, I fought. I probably could have defeated him, even in my disadvantaged state. But then, I realized if I died, I’d be with my Lily bud. I feel my tether to everyone in my life break and I tell Lily I’m coming as everything goes dark. When I open my eyes, I’m back in the meadow that I found myself in right after Lily died. I sit up and look around. All I care about is finding my Lily bud. I’m going to hold her and kiss her and remind her of what being my mate means. I’m happy when I realize I can stand. It takes me a moment to readjust to being able to walk again. “Look at this Donovan!” I say, wanting to share my excitement with my wolf. I’m met with silence. “Donovan?” I say, looking around like I’m going to find him in the meadow. What I find instead is my heart, my soul, the love of my life. “Mate.” She says and it makes my heart sing again. It’s just like it was that day beside the lake and I have to let her know that I st
We watch as Angel and Cara explain the best that they can what Grace did to save the packs. She probably could have done it on her own, but I was concerned for her child. Having whatever strength she pulled from everyone was great, but she wasn’t reserving any for herself. She would have given everything to save them. That is something I understand very well. I would have done the same in her position. But Clint and I had the ability to save her, to make sure that she had enough reserves to survive. “You were never meant to be this strong.” Selene says, coming up behind us as we watch everyone wakes up, or, come back to life, because that's really what they are doing. They were dead and now they are alive. “What do you mean?” I ask her. “I created the Guardians to strengthen the packs. You were always meant to find your fated mates and birth a new generation of stronger wolves. I guess I should have known that the Alphas would not want to part with the strength and power that the Gu