It took me three hours to reach New York. from green port new York is two and a half hour route but due to my snail-like driving, it took me an extra half an hour to reach.
I sat in my car looking around my surroundings deep in thoughts. thoughts that didn't give any positivity to me. thoughts that are slowly destroying my confidence and making me insecure. Thoughts of my survival in New York City alone without my home and my family, thoughts which are gonna give me doubts like, what if I fail to survive and fail to adopt a new environment.what if this is not a new beginning but a disaster?
Sighing I get down from the car and unloaded my bags. I am standing in front of my apartment. I have seen the ad online that it's a three-bedroom apartment with one common bathroom a living room and an open kitchen and a back patio with an underground parking lot. there is only one vacant needed and I immediately jumped into action without any delay paying the advance and confirming my room. The other two girls also go to the same university as me. I don't know anything about them, I just know that they go to the same university.
The neighborhood is looking pretty good and it's giving calm and safe vibes. I've searched online about this area and I got pretty good and positive answers so I am feeling somewhat safe but still am away from my family and my home and already I am missing my family. "No scar you have to be strong and you have to survive this on your own" I gave myself a pep talk and unloaded my bags from the car and took them one by one to the door.
I rang the bell and stood patiently tapping my foot on the floor thinking who will gonna to open the door and how will my roommates be like? Are they good who makes friends easily or are they going to give me a hard time? I seriously don't know what to do if they don't like me or I don't like them. I can't change the apartment if we don't come along with each other. " Think positive and be calm, they are gonna like you and you are gonna like them back" I repeat these words in my head waiting for someone to open the door.
To my surprise, a girl with a warm smile and blue eyes opened the door. She is tall and has blonde hair and she has a genuine and warm smile on her lips which reaches her eyes too. I release my breath which I don't know that I am holding in. seeing her smile warmly at me warmed my heart and took away my worries somewhat.
"Hey, are you Scarlett? She asked. "Yes I am Scarlett Williams" I took her hand to shake which she is extended to shake.
"Nice to meet you scar, can I call you scar because we are gonna be best friends and best friends call their friends with pet names. You don't mind, right? She is babbling nonstop I had to stop her to give my answer. But again she interrupted me and started talking." Oh by the way I am Lilliana Jones and I am majoring in business and accounting" she introduced herself." Yes, Lilly, you can call me scar but on one condition if I gotta call you lilly, is it okay right? I asked with a slight smile and a wink and she laughed out loud and told me to call her with anything I like as long as it's not gonna offend her and which is pretty much nothing. Already she is giving me good and positive energy and making me smile genuinely and making my heart warm with her presence. This is what I am missing in my life for the past year.
"Come, come get in we have a lot of time together to talk," lilly said while taking my bag and helping me in carrying them to my room. the apartment is like in the pictures which are uploaded in the ad. Mine and Lilly's bedrooms are beside each other and our other roommate's bedroom is beside the bathroom. and my room is pretty big and has a window from which I can see a perfect sunrise and sunset which I love doing.
After shifting my bags in my room and me taking a bath and getting ready for the night I went to the living room for dinner which lilly invited me to.
"Hey come, sit I just ordered Chinese for us I hope you don't mind, when I came knocking on your door you didn't answer and I am starving so I ordered," she said nervously. "Hey relax I don't mind eating anything except seafood so chill and you didn't order seafood right? "No I didn't order, I just ordered fried rice, ramen, and fried chicken," lilly said while drooling and gulping."yummmm I am starving now and I can't wait long," I said while holding my stomach and giving her my puppy eyes." Hahaha no need for those puppy eyes scar, our food is gonna be here in 5 minutes so be patient" lilly said while laughing. " Huh! Okay, I'll wait" I said with a frown.
We talked about our families and our hometowns while eating. She is from Canada and she is the only child of her parents and she likes numbers that's why she choose her major in accounting and business management. Our third roommate is zayreen she is from turkey and she is coming tomorrow early in the morning.
Lilly and I said good night to each other and went to our bedrooms I brush my teeth and got ready to sleep. I am very much tired from the three-hour drive and I unpacked my things and arranged my room and my closet without taking a nap that's why I am too tired. I would have arranged my room for tomorrow but I don't like delaying my works and tomorrow Is Sunday and I have to prepare myself for the first day of the university on Monday. with these thoughts I slowly slipped into my sleep.
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Sunday came and went and early in the morning came zayreen, mine and Lilly's third roommate, she is a redhead probably shorter than me with blue eyes and a pretty smile. She is like 100 times bubblier than lilly and Zay likes to give hugs to anyone and her hugs are the best other than my parents and she asked us to call her Zay and she is just like a pretty little sunshine. With her bubbly and happy personality, she makes her surroundings happy and the people around her. By seeing her my worry of getting bad roommates evaporated. I am just relieved and happy that I got the best roommates.
We went grocery shopping and took all the essentials for the kitchen and stationery for the uni. We came to our apartment in the evening from Walmart and ordered pizza for dinner and chatted our night with pizza and a random comedy movie in the background. Zayreen told us about turkey and her family that she has 3 brothers and one brother stays here in New York and he is some big shot billionaire, he had shifted here when he came to New York for his university and got settled down here and doing pretty much good financially. Zay's brother offered to stay with him but as a social butterfly and wanted to be an independent woman she declined his offer and took this apartment. We ate, we laughed and we talked. This is what I call life with the positive people around you. I forgot about my demons and my past which haunts me regularly. I just hope from now on everything will be all good. We bid each other and went to our rooms by 11. I Went to my room and jumped under my duvet and with a smile on my lips, I slept like a baby till morning.
I hope tomorrow is gonna be a good start for my new life is the last thought on my mind
I woke up to the sound of my alarm blaring."shut up" I rolled to the side to stop that devil which is my alarm and went back to sleep.The second time I woke up feeling something heavy on me and it crushes me."Ahhhhhhhhh! I yelled my lungs out."Stop yelling scar". Zay said laughing out loud.I opened my eyes to see that the weight crushing me is none other than zay and she is laughing her ass off."Get off of me, you hippo! What the bloody hell zay, you look skinny but you are crushing me into the bed and I feel like someone is crushing me with a stone" I said while trying to get her off of me.She gasps and said dramatically"take that back scar"" What if I don't take it back," I said sassily." I am gonna count 1 to 3 if you won't take it back then see what will happen," she said threatening me."Stop being a drama queen Zay," I said while gettin
It's been weeks since our first day to uni. I am loving it so far. I have been laughing and smiling genuinely no more faking. And the credit goes to my two best friends who have become sisters to me. Zayreen has become a mama bear to lilly and me. Lilliana became a strict but lovely elder sister to me and Zay. Life with them I have never expected to be this. I miss my family too but I am being contented here. I have talked to my parents regularly and face timing too.The main thing I have done is gotten a job in a cafe and I am earning my own money which I am spending on my necessities. The cafe is my second safe place other than my room. I am managing both uni and cafe pretty much well. People here in New York don't have time to judge people and that is the good thing that happened to me.My daily routine is to wake up in the morning breakfast with Lilly and Zay then to university and from there to the cafe. my shift ends at 6 in the evening. by ev
I am dreading this day and it's already noon. I just have 2 to 3 hours left for the party. I don't know why but iam feeling like something is going to happen and these past few days are my best days. I have been living in a shell for the last year but here in New York with lilly and Zay, it feels like there had been nothing bad that happened in the past. I have been miserable for the past year and this one month in New York with lilly and Zay shows me I can be happy again, I can laugh wholeheartedly again. I can survive a a day without a panic attack and I can breathe without feeling like someone is judging me. It took 2 hours to get ready. Zayreen gave me a red dress which comes to my knees and has thin straps on my shoulders and it fits like a glove. She did my hair and makeup which consists of smokey eyes and curls.zay added some volume to my brown hair by curling. My grey eyes are looking alive with smokey color and at last with a Scarlett red lipstick.She is
Darkness is what Iam seeing and feeling. iam in a dark alley surrounded by dark shadows. there is no escaping from them. the dark figures are coming towards me confining between them making me hard to breathe.I don't know how but one minute I am surrounded by the dark figures and the next minute I am running from them and they are chasing me.iam running for my life but where I don't know .there is nothing around me but darkness. I can hear my heartbeats which is beating rapidly and I feel breath on my neck of the dark figures and I am having goosebumps all over my body.Suddenly I stumbled upon something and I fell. iam on the ground and I am hearing footsteps nearing me. like a magnet, the ground is sucking me down and my body is glued to the ground, and Iam unable to move forward. my heart is in my mouth due to fear of getting caught by the dark figures and my breathing is coming rapidly and I am sweating all over.I
It's been two weeks since that night and iam able to forget that something had happened that night. if I would have that old Scarlett I would have been still in that trance crying every night to sleep and the nightmares would have become frequent but no, I am having nightmares just two or three times but every time the dark figures chase me I am being pulled by something precisely someone with brown eyes.Sighing for the nth time I started working on my assignments. I have been doing my assignments for two hours and still didn't reach a certain point.it would have completed one hour before but with all the distractions I am not able to concentrate on it.After trying to concentrate and continue the assignment I gave it up. Without putting your 100% you can't complete anything. I left my room to check up on lilly and zayreen. It's Sunday and after breakfast, I went to my room to finish my project and I don't know what they are up to.&
Two fudging hours? Iam waiting for lilly and Zay for two hours and still there is no sign of them. I have been on my third drink. I don't know how to start a conversation and neither is he starting anything. He has his head in his phone from the past two hours and other than that once in a while he glances my way at the same time I lift my head.It is so hard to sit in front of him not talking anything just stealing glances. Yeah! I don't like to talk much and iam an extrovert but stil
Iam currently sitting in university's library preparing for the test which is going to be on Friday and today is wednesday.i know I have one more day to prepare but iam not the kind of student who wastes one second of their time for their tests and that's what Iam doing currently preparing notes.
I left library after taking important points for my topic for the test and taking some more books on feminism and women empowerment from the library.It's five in the evening when I entered our apartment. I opened the door and met