Book 2 Chapter 48

"Emissary! Emissary! You do know what that means right!?" Alayna stood in front of Christopher stamping her foot in a fit of anger glaring as Christopher who stood looking dumber than a brick with his finger in his nose and dazed look in his eyes, enduring Alayna's tirade of anger.

"Make friends."

"Close enough! So tell me... What is it you are doing now?"

"Making friends."

...

"HOW IS DUELING THIS ASSHOLE MAKING FRIENDS!?"

"Well someone out there must want Tard dead."

"Tars his name is Tard... AAH Damnit Tars! And while that's all fine and dandy, but what friend does that gain you!?"

"You'll be my friend."

"I already am your friend! Wait when did I get demoted to just friend!?"

"Okay fine I'll allow you to be my lover."

"Wha- We already agreed that I was a fiance! Bottom of the totem pole, but still on the damn thing!"

"See I've already made you a fiance. Let that show how good I am at making friends!"

...

"Did you fall on your head as a child?"

"Well there was this one time I-"

"AAAAGH Stop talking! Okay... So as you know Tars is the eldest son of the Trost family. You remember that much right?"

"Uhuh."

"You remember the Trost family are nobles right?"

"Uhuh."

"You remember they serve the king right? You know the person you're supposed to be making friends with!"

"Why would I make friends with him?"

....

"Excuse me? Isn't that the purpose of this trip?"

"What? Where did you come up with such a ridiculous idea?"

..

"I'm so lost right now."

"Pffft I think Alayna has finally found her match of special." Tars voice cut in. The two were carrying on their little side argument standing in the center of a large group of vampires. Tars front and center listening to them.

"Hey Tard we're talking here. I'll be sure to smack you around in a minute so do us and even your own men a favor and shut your cock holster for a bit."

"Wha- Coc-? ... Tars.. My name's Tars! Is it really that difficult for you to remember!?"

"Nah I just think When you told me Tard earlier it had a better ring to it."

"I NEVER SAID MY NAME WAS TARD!" Tars began stomping his feet throwing down his helmet in frustration. He was seething! Smoke was damn near blowing through his nostrils each time he exhaled. His eyes were bloodshot ready to pop out of his skull.

'If this duel doesn't start soon I may just strangle one of my subordinates as relief!' Watching the two of them argue, and repeatedly fuck up his name Tars was getting quite close to reaching the end of his tether so to speak

So Christopher had heard in the past all about the duel of honor from Alayna. Before they had met Christopher discovered her mouth had apparently landed her in a few... Okay a lot of them. Lucky for her, she's as adept at killing as she's at pissing people off. From what she told him is they were the closest thing they had too a sacred ritual. It dated back to the worship of Martelise, which as it happened was the only god they still worshipped in The Darkness.

The duel of honor was essentially used to settle any arguments. A might makes right sort of deal. Simple kill the opponent and Tada! You are the right party and the gods forgive you for all of your transgressions. It wasn't quite like the Vikings or other cultures where the victor was seen favorably by the gods. In this case from what Christopher could surmise it was the gods half assing their duties and just allowing it to slip, doing a Fonzie version of a god going "Aaaaay You're alright."

"I mean come on think about it. All I have to do is kill this guy and everything's good? Don't suppose I could do that with the King and take the throne could I?"

"Shockingly the Kings are appointed by the goddess therefore that law is null and void with them." Alayna sighed. While it was annoying the rest of their people were subject to such outlandish laws. If the King were subject to such a law. There would be a new king every other day and a pile of heads stacking up outside the gates.

"Are you two going to just talk all day? Did the cocky human get cold feet? Not much of a surprise there. Or are you delaying hoping someone will come to your rescue?" Tars called out taunting Christopher and Alayna.

"Shut up be and be patient Tard. I figured your mother must be quite manly and was hoping she would come and rescue me. Tell me does she have a bigger dick than you and your father?"

"You son of a bi-"

"Calm your tits Tards. I'm coming I know we don't want your mother showing up and proving my theory so let's get to this." Collen sighed leaning side to side his arms raised over his head stretching. 

"I'll tell you what. I am a benevolent man, therefore I'm willing to allow you to attack first. I won't move from this spot until you move to strike first."

"Hoo you're so gracious Mr. Tards. I shall repay your kindness with an honorable fight!" Christopher held his palms up in mock awe. "You're a shining example of the great Darkness. It's a shame you must tarnish yourself dueling a filthy human such as myself." 

"Although it's true you are the filth of this world. I must do this for the honor of our kingdom." Tars announced striking a combat pose unsheathing his sword.

"Would you like for me to close my eyes while I'm at it? Hell I bet I could fight you with them closed!"

"Oh please do! I am but an inept human!"

'God does he have no pride at all?" Tars almost felt pit. 'Just how pathetic are humans?'

"Haha what a loser! He's actually asking Tars to close his eyes."

"Aren't emissaries supposed to be strong warriors? What the hell were they thinking picking this man as a representative?"

"Maybe they're hoping to show how pathetic they are in hopes we will rise from the depths and conquer them."

"If they're anything like this man I don't doubt it for a second."

"Gods are all of your friends this damn arrogant?" Christopher asked glancing towards Alayna.

"Well obviously. I mean humans are trash and weak.... No offense. And say they're my friends again and see if I give it up anytime soon."

"While I would like to come up with a witty retort, yea I have to agree with that statement. Though I must say Alayna... I love you-"

"I love you too."

"But we both know you won't hold out.

"Hey! The sex is great but I could resist."

"Even after seeing Tars die? That scent of blood wafting into the air.. And what if I were to torture him to death? I got a gold coin says you're getting wet just thinking about that alone."

"Hrk." Alayna visibly lurched forward as if a brick had just randomly struck her in the head and her mind was trying to process the sudden pain. 'Damnit that bastard knows me to well!'

"Alright Turds I'm ready." Christopher announced turning his attention back to  Tars who very much was currently resembling a red hot fire poker burning with rage.

"I want you to know I'm going to savor this kill for the rest of my life. Never in the thousands of years I have lived. And I mean NEVER, have I looked forward to killing a man more than you."

"Gee thanks... I think... Well whatever hurry up and close your eyes."

"Okay fi-... Are you not taking me seriously!? Draw your weapons!"

"Well of course I'm not taking you seriously Turds. I'm sorry but you're just too far below me."

...

"I look forward to seeing the look in your eyes when I rip your head off and shove it up a Dragon's ass!" Tars growled through grit teeth, despite the distance between the two Christopher could hear Tars's teeth gnashing and grinding together. He was so furious spittle went flying with every word he growled at Christopher as though spitting curses, while trying to contain his growing rage each moment Christopher opened his mouth to speak.

"Gods and here I thought Alayna was kinky. "

"I WILL KILL YOU!"

"Look man not to call you a liar or anything, but you've been saying that since the first moment we met, and yet here we stand."

"A mistake I will be correcting momentarily."

"Well hurry up and close your eyes so we can begin. By the gods you would think with the thousands of years you've lived you would be much more smart."

....

Tars was gripping his sword so tight it felt as though his hands may fall asleep at any moment.

'There's no point even saying another word to this fool.' Tars breathed a sigh Christopher could almost see the huff of smoke blowing out his nostrils. Finally Tars closed his eyes sharpening his instincts.

"Feel free to start at any time. No pressure if you need a few extra moments to gather your courage." Tars called out taunting Christopher with a smile.

....

....

...

'Did I not speak loud enough?' Tars thought to himself having felt no movement from Christopher yet. "Errr...  Are you -"

'Ah I felt a slight movement. Perhaps he's finally assuming a stance. Hmm Why does it feel so cold suddenly? Is the temperature dropping? Almost like a change in pressure.'

"AAAAAAH!'