I wake up in an unfamiliar bed, the sun is shining in around the blinds, and I blink my eyes open. I instantly feel an arm draped over my body, and I gulp. My head's pounding, my body's heavy, and I just feel sick. Not from my hangover, but from sleeping here with Dane. I don't want to be this close to him, I never cuddled with him. Not even before our fight this week. I quickly slip out from under his arm and press my lips together, standing up. He's still dead asleep, and as soon as I look down at my phone, I see that stupid wrapper again. I carefully kneel down and swipe it up, heading to the bathroom. I doubt he knows it's even there. I run my finger along the inside of the package, feeling the greasy texture inside. It must be recent. I memorize what type it is and then wrap it up in tissues as quietly as possible, burying it at the bottom of the trash can. I wash my hands and try to shake off the unpleasant thoughts that come to mind. I'd hate to think that in the brief time
"Kent." "Yeah, Kent. I just feel like you two are closer than you are with the other guys you live with." He shrugs. "He looked like he wanted to stomp me into the ground last night." Dane wasn't very perceptive, none of my friends were okay with him there last night. I guess Kent's dirty looks were taken to heart. "I need you to promise me nothing's going on with him." He says quietly and I feel guilt boiling in my stomach. I'm a liar, this isn't fair to anyone, especially not Dane. Maybe nothing was going on with Kent, but I wanted something to be. I wished I'd just stayed with him last night anyway. Kent's never open like that, he opened that door a crack and as soon as he heard Dane was there, it shut like a watertight seal. "There's nothing going on with him." I assure him, keeping my voice even and my eyes on his. "I don't want you to see him anymore." "Dane." I sigh, shaking my head. "We live together, that's not possible." "Well, then......please don't hangout with him
"Give me a call or something before bed, alright?" Dane tells me, and I sigh, keeping the phone pressed to my ear. "I'll try, I'll be up late tonight, but I'll send you a text," I reply with a shrug. "Okay, great. Have a good night, Juls. I'll see you Friday for our date." I have regrets, huge regrets, and I don't have a clue what to do. Dane has been borderline obsessive since we got back together. He texts and calls all the time, he wants to see me every night and have me come over to his place. As if it wasn't bad enough that we had such a messy split last week, it was only worsened by the new terms we settled on at breakfast the next morning. The night before, I was initially taken with Dane's effort. That he showed up in an effort to get me back and that he was prepared to let me take some time to think about it. But the next morning when I woke up in his bed, I felt nagged. I felt like I'd really done the wrong thing, and I couldn't figure out why. It was nice to be wanted,
I step out of my room and walk down the hall, noticing that it's already starting to get late. I have a shift at the pool every night this week, except for Friday and Saturday. Well, and today, Monday. It's been over a week since our Halloween mess, and things are starting to settle down. I walk into the kitchen, hearing silence in the apartment. I take out a frozen pizza and set the oven to preheat, leaning back on the counter. I figure most of my roommates would be out; it's getting busier around campus. Mark and Kyle work most weeknights to have their weekends free. Kent has been at the library all weekend working on a major assignment. I hear a knock on the door, assuming it's one of my roommates forgetting their keys and coming home. I go to open it, and my heart drops. Chase stands in front of me, his brown eyes surrounded by dark circles, and I gulp. "Juls," he says quietly, and I shake my head. "What are you doing here?" I ask, feeling confused, and he sighs. "I-I wanted t
I'm tired. Dane took me out last night and kept me out late; I wasn't sure why. We went for dinner, and then he brought me to a jazz club. I was exhausted after my week at school, my feet hurt from wearing high heels all night, and my dress was uncomfortable. Was it really too much to ask just to go to a diner or the movies? For us to go out on a date where I could wear jeans? The dates were interesting, I could give him that. I was getting new experiences and the ability to try new foods, but it all felt like a distraction. It felt like a lack of connection being covered up with excitement. I need to get to know him before tonight. Mom is going to ask things, and I can't look shocked that I don't know the answers. I have to know the answers to questions when I've been with him for weeks. When I couldn't take it anymore last night and just asked if we could call it an early night, he suggested I could come home with him. "Just stay with me, it's a lot closer," he whispered, putti
"The walk is short to the coffee place, and I smile, stepping inside with him. I was feeling nagged by these questions about our relationship, and now I'd finally get some answers. We sit down and order our drinks. I get a muffin with butter too. They looked too good to pass up. "So, what do you want to talk about?" He asks with a shrug, taking a sip of his black coffee. "Tell me about your family," I shrug, starting easy, and he shrugs in return. "My dad worked on Wall Street; I told you that. Mom was a stay-at-home wife. I don't have any brothers or sisters." "None?" I ask, and he nods. "Sounds sort of lonely." "It wasn't all bad. I had a lot of friends growing up," he insists, and I smile. "Tell me about yours," he adds, and I furrow my eyebrows. "I-I have told you about them," I answer, feeling worried. "A lot. I love my family. We're really close." "Right, yeah," he shrugs. "Of course, I was just making conversation." Weird start, Dane. This weird silence falls between us
"You might think you're giving our relationship your all. You might find it crazy I haven't slept with you. I'm explaining why." I whisper, and he sighs. "Just so you know, I'm not a virgin, and you're not my first boyfriend," I add, feeling the need to clarify. He assumed I was a virgin because I hadn't wanted sex with him. Interesting. "I can't plan a fall trip to Montreal. My job requires a month's notice for time off, and I work weekends. Weekends are for work so I can have weekdays for my job. I've told you this before; it's not new information. I have to pay my rent." "Why can't you move out of your place?" He asks, sounding hesitant, leaving me speechless. "To where?" I ask, crossing my arms. "I don't know, move back in with your parents," he suggests, and I laugh. "No way. I saved for years to move out. I need to be near Brown," I explain, running my hands over my face. "I've told you this too." "Well, why not move in with me? Just until you figure out your next move." He
I don't know what to do once I get home. I've been missing so many things lately, so many parties and fun nights out. I didn't want to go back and inform them that I'd made a stupid mistake. I sniffle and step through the door; Kent's right there by the dining room table. He looks guilty, no doubt because he's the one who broke the news to me. "Hey!" I whisper quietly, and he nods, looking down at the floor. It had been a few days since our talk about staying away from each other. I felt really betrayed, thank God I'd never slept with Dane. "C'mere," he says quietly, nodding his head over, and I nod, walking quietly until I can wrap my arms around him. He squeezes the life out of me, and I start to sob. I'd managed to hold it together the whole way home, but seeing Kent was too much. "I'm so stupid," I cry, and he shakes his head, lifting me off the ground. "No, Juls, he's the idiot," he whispers. I just felt hollow; my mind was warped from this entire exchange, from feeling like