"The walk is short to the coffee place, and I smile, stepping inside with him. I was feeling nagged by these questions about our relationship, and now I'd finally get some answers. We sit down and order our drinks. I get a muffin with butter too. They looked too good to pass up. "So, what do you want to talk about?" He asks with a shrug, taking a sip of his black coffee. "Tell me about your family," I shrug, starting easy, and he shrugs in return. "My dad worked on Wall Street; I told you that. Mom was a stay-at-home wife. I don't have any brothers or sisters." "None?" I ask, and he nods. "Sounds sort of lonely." "It wasn't all bad. I had a lot of friends growing up," he insists, and I smile. "Tell me about yours," he adds, and I furrow my eyebrows. "I-I have told you about them," I answer, feeling worried. "A lot. I love my family. We're really close." "Right, yeah," he shrugs. "Of course, I was just making conversation." Weird start, Dane. This weird silence falls between us
"You might think you're giving our relationship your all. You might find it crazy I haven't slept with you. I'm explaining why." I whisper, and he sighs. "Just so you know, I'm not a virgin, and you're not my first boyfriend," I add, feeling the need to clarify. He assumed I was a virgin because I hadn't wanted sex with him. Interesting. "I can't plan a fall trip to Montreal. My job requires a month's notice for time off, and I work weekends. Weekends are for work so I can have weekdays for my job. I've told you this before; it's not new information. I have to pay my rent." "Why can't you move out of your place?" He asks, sounding hesitant, leaving me speechless. "To where?" I ask, crossing my arms. "I don't know, move back in with your parents," he suggests, and I laugh. "No way. I saved for years to move out. I need to be near Brown," I explain, running my hands over my face. "I've told you this too." "Well, why not move in with me? Just until you figure out your next move." He
I don't know what to do once I get home. I've been missing so many things lately, so many parties and fun nights out. I didn't want to go back and inform them that I'd made a stupid mistake. I sniffle and step through the door; Kent's right there by the dining room table. He looks guilty, no doubt because he's the one who broke the news to me. "Hey!" I whisper quietly, and he nods, looking down at the floor. It had been a few days since our talk about staying away from each other. I felt really betrayed, thank God I'd never slept with Dane. "C'mere," he says quietly, nodding his head over, and I nod, walking quietly until I can wrap my arms around him. He squeezes the life out of me, and I start to sob. I'd managed to hold it together the whole way home, but seeing Kent was too much. "I'm so stupid," I cry, and he shakes his head, lifting me off the ground. "No, Juls, he's the idiot," he whispers. I just felt hollow; my mind was warped from this entire exchange, from feeling like
"Hi Juls!" She sounds cheerful, and I smile. "What's going on?" "I-um....I just wanted to.....to tell you that I broke up with Dane this morning," I whisper, fiddling with the hem of my sweater. "You were right, we're too different, and.....I realized it for myself. He's not coming anymore." "Oh honey, I'm sorry, I know it's been close to a month that you've been seeing him," she whispers. I feel tears threatening to spill from my eyes but my composure for the call. "But I still want to come," I tell her. "Honey, of course. You're always welcome, are you sure you're not too upset?" She asks, and I sigh. "No, I'm not," I say, trying to sound confident. "I actually.....I was wondering if you could set the table for another four people?" I mumble, and she pauses. "Four boyfriends, huh?" She teases, which makes me laugh, genuinely laugh for the first time all morning. "For who?" "My friend Abby, and my roommates Kyle, Mark, and Kent-" "Oh Kent! Good, I'm glad he's coming. He was so
I turn the show back on, and I squeeze my new favorite thing, my dino. The episode was one of my favorites, solely because of the unexpected plot developments. In the next scene, there's a girl dead, sprawled out on a mattress, and Kent furrows his eyebrows. "Are you sure you want to watch this?" He asks. "It seems depressing." "I want to watch it," I insist, shaking my head. "This is a really interesting episode, trust me." The plot develops, and even I feel riveted by the twist at the end. This woman hired a hitman to kill the woman her husband was cheating on her with. The plot twist is she's in a wheelchair and pretending to be sick and disabled so her husband will stay with her anyway. "So it was her?" He asks, and I nod with a small smile. "Shit, that's insane." "Wait, this is the craziest part," I whisper. At this point, the detectives have figured out it was his wife in the wheelchair who did it and that she's been making herself sick, but she's been determined not compet
I press my lips together and close my door. I change into jeans instead of leggings and put on some concealer to hide my red spots from crying. I try to look brave because I'm going home for Mom's enchiladas. The world is not small; it's huge and full of possibilities. I open the door a few minutes later and see everyone in the living room, waiting for me to show up. We all get into Kent's car and head home. I'm excited to be back. I sit behind Kent in the backseat and smile while thinking about the two of us this afternoon. The strange thing is, when I think about Kent, I stop thinking about my mess with Dane. Maybe I never had feelings for Dane, perhaps I just kept pushing Kent aside to try and enjoy another relationship. Maybe I thought things could be the same with Dane. Kent parks in my driveway, and I smile, leading everyone to my front door. It's not a big house, but Mom is used to accommodating a large family for dinner. "Hello?" I call as I kick off my shoes. Mom comes ou
I feel terrible today. Breakups are always tough for me. I didn't feel very connected to Dane emotionally, but it didn't seem to matter. I'm a sensitive person, and feeling deceived and used isn't something that just goes away. The only, and I really emphasize, the only positive thing this week is that Thanksgiving break is approaching. This weekend is a holiday, which means four blissful days without school. I can also go back home and be with my parents. Mom understood my emotions on Saturday, to the point that she sent the remaining enchiladas home with me and my roommates. They provided comfort, and it was the only thing I had an appetite for yesterday before I had to drag myself to work. That's another thing, I only have three days of work this week. It's incredibly exciting, less exposure to chlorine on my hair and clothes. I always worried that I smelled of it. Today, I had my one afternoon class. It's Monday, a relatively easy day for me. Usually, I'd use it for homework,
He drove for a while, looking like he had the literal weight of the world on his shoulders. Eventually, we reached a downtown parking garage. He went inside and drove all the way to the top, letting us sit on the top level outside. He turned off the car and cleared his throat, looking anxious. "What was all that?" I asked. "Why on earth does she think I'm your girlfriend?" "I'll get to that, just... this story starts earlier than that," he explained quietly, and I sighed, leaning back in the seat. "My parents are in New York society. We were all children brought up for the sake of pictures, images... parties. My parents always put me on a date to important events growing up. From like... sixteen and on, I always had to take a girl to anything important." "Okay, and how on earth does that concern me?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows, and he cleared his throat. "When I moved away, I did whatever I could to avoid ever having to do that again. I hated it, it made me really miserable. Mo
After 2 years... Kent "Today has to be perfect." I've been super busy preparing for this day for the last few weeks. It has to happen tonight, or she'll suspect something's up. Juls is getting her master's degree today, and I've never been prouder. She's incredibly smart, always reading or researching. That pile of library books in our office never seems to shrink. She's applied to Ph.D. programs all over, but I think she'll stay at Brown. I'm okay with that because I don't want anything to change about our lives. Well, except for one thing that I hope to change today. I finished my MBA a few months ago and started working full-time downtown. I'm in marketing for now but aiming for investment banking and trust. I know my path, and with time and connections, I hope to take care of us. Juls keeps saying she'll stay in school because she doesn't know what else to do, but I think it's the other way around. School and academia bring out her best. Her eyes light up when she learns some
"We're almost there," Kent insists, turning on his car's signal. I feel like we're in the middle of nowhere, and we've been driving for over an hour. Kent refused to tell me our destination because, as he put it, "I would just g****e where we're going, and then it wouldn't be a surprise anymore!" The weather was gradually getting less cold, not warm yet but no longer snowing or freezing. I was on my last spring break, trying to finish my thesis and schoolwork. We recently received information about our upcoming graduation. In about a month and a half, we would be finishing our undergrad degrees. It was still surreal to me, moving from starting a university degree to finishing it. Kent had been discussing plans for the summer, including hiking trips, which I pretended not to dread. I wasn't much of a hiker, but I was willing to do it with him. We signed our lease for next year, securing that cute little apartment on the other side of campus. The thought of moving in with him excite
"I got my email." Even though Doctor Binkley said I have a spot, I'm still nervous to open it. Maybe I should've waited to open it when I'm alone, but I can't wait. I'm opening it on my way out of lecture. I open the email, quickly reading the first few lines. But at the top, there's a big box that says 'congratulations' and 'welcome!' My heart immediately slows down, and I feel relieved, clutching my phone to my chest. It's official; I'm staying at Brown next year. That means I'll be with my family, my school, and, of course, Kent. We can start our life together, still have our friends and continue studying, but we'll be together. I remember how tough that month at Northwestern was, how much I missed him, and how I felt like I had no support. I need to text my parents and tell them the news. They've been anxiously waiting to hear what I'd do about my living situation next year. But I'll do it later. Right now, I just want to go home and be with someone I love. I pull out my phone
"I hate school sometimes." Yes, I like researching and finding answers to questions no one's ever thought of before, and I like my degree, but the coursework sucks. I'm sick of reading pages and pages of scholarly articles and books and writing a new paper every other week. My honors project is draining every ounce of energy from me, and I was starting to worry if it was even worth it anymore. I hadn't heard about Brown's Master's program yet, and that's the whole reason for this extra burden. Today was Tuesday, one of my busier days. I only had class today until noon, and then I usually spent the rest of the day grinding out work. Today I had to meet with Doctor Binkley and discuss my work. It was something we did monthly to make sure I felt like I was always on the right track. Kent had a break after his class at one-thirty, and we were planning to meet up and study together until his next class at four. Then I was planning to go home and take it easy. I take the elevator up to
I wake up in the middle of a large bed with Kent beside me. We were completely tangled in bedsheets, just beside each other in a beautiful room. I sigh, feeling my body ache and my head pound, but it's bearable. I shuffle over slightly, laying my head on his chest and snuggling back into his side. That seems to get his attention. He moves under me and groans slightly, eyelids fluttering. I feel his lips press a simple kiss to my temple, and I smile. "Hey, Juls," he mumbles. "Hi," I whisper back, watching his eyes open slowly. He grins at me easily, running a hand through my hair. "How do you feel?" he asks, and I shrug. "I have a headache and I'm tired, but I'm okay," I sigh, tracing my fingertips down the center of his chest. "I had a lot of fun last night." "Good," he whispers, putting his hand over mine on his chest. "I know how hard you've been working and all the crap we've been dealing with." His voice is thick with sleep, deep and raspy. "It was nice to have a day that wa
"It's been an amazing night and an unbelievable birthday. I'm pleasantly tipsy, happy, aware, and buzzing," I express. It looks like all three of our friends have scored phone numbers tonight, giving Kent and me some alone time. I notice the place clearing out, and I realize it's probably time to head home. The bar is closing in about thirty minutes, and it's close to three in the morning. "Want to go somewhere else?" Abby asks as we wait for our jackets. I sigh and shake my head. I'm ready to devour some greasy food, drink water, and snuggle into bed with Kent. We've teased about getting intimate, but with all our roommates around, it's not a possibility. I've let go of that idea and just want a relaxed and easy night. "I'm good," I sigh, and she nods with a simple shrug. "Thanks a lot for everything; this night was so, so fun!" "I'm thrilled you enjoyed it!" She insists, giving me a hug, and I grin. Kent retrieves our coats, and I sigh, not looking forward to facing the cold a
It was nice to feel noticed by him, nice to know that he always seemed to care about what I was up to. I'd never felt attractive before I started dating Kent. We all round up the last of our coats and shoes while the Uber's on its way. I get my coat on, and I feel Kent slide his hand along the small of my back. I gasp a bit quietly and look up, seeing his cocky grin. "You look nice," he whispers, and I chuckle, feeling his fingertips slide around the edge of my waistband. Soon we're all piling into an Uber, and I hear Abby chatting up the driver in the front seat. I'll always be envious of her confidence and how she talks to people like she's known them forever. We grab a quick dinner at a pizza place around the corner. Everyone pushed that we should go somewhere nicer, but I didn't want to. I just wanted to go out and have fun with my friends. I hadn't gone out in a long time, not really since before Christmas, and I'd spent way too much time feeling lonely, buried in work and ove
"Did you want to stay longer?" Kent asks as we step into his car, and I smile, closing the door and putting my seatbelt on. "No, we've been there for hours," I mumble, safely tucking my birthday card into my coat's inner pocket. "If we stay longer, we're staying for dinner." Time with my family was amazing, it meant the world to me, and I was thankful I had it so close to my birthday. "Your parents are really cool," he admits, turning on the car and shifting it into drive. "No, they really aren't," I snort. "Did you miss the part where mom pulled out my baby album and sang my favorite lullaby? To all of us?" I ask, and he chuckles. "Or my dad talking about his Master's thesis? His theoretical chemistry Master's thesis?" "You know what I mean," he defends. "They're...people. Like real, normal, kind people who care about everyone." "I guess they have that going for them, huh?" I laugh, and he smiles. "I can't believe that check, that's not like them. They don't just hand out money
We head inside, and I take a deep breath, walking into our house. My family's house always makes me feel happy, like I'm somewhere safe and full of love. Mom's burning some cinnamon candle, and I can hear noise from the kitchen. "What's that smell?" Kent asks, and I laugh. "Mom loves scented candles, it's probably some clearance one that she picked up from somewhere," I explain, unsure where the nearly offensive candle was. Kent hated strong scents; he claimed they gave him headaches. "Sorry." "It's okay, just... don't go burning anything like that at our place," he says, and I chuckle, reaching for his hand. "Hello?" I call, bringing Kent to the kitchen, and mom gasps, hopping up from the stove and running over. "Juls," she whispers, squeezing the life out of me. "I'm so glad you could come." "Me too, I missed you," I whisper, and she pulls back, rubbing my arms in that aggressive mom-like way. "And I missed you, oh! You're so beautiful and smart-" "Okay, mom," I mumble, and s