This night was supposed to bring joy and excitement, but instead, I felt emotionally drained. After a day of school, it was time for the Halloween party. Earlier, we had prepared the house for the party by securing it. I had purchased a locked container a few months ago to store my belongings under my bed. Although our rooms were off-limits, people still managed to sneak in. I hung my costume on the closet door, but I no longer felt excited about wearing it. "Knock, knock." Abby appeared in the doorway; I had asked her to come over early so we could get ready together. "You're not still upset about Dane, are you?" she asked. "No, I'm not upset. Just a little irritated," I replied, and she smiled, bringing two cups of orange Jell-o shots. "Here, drink this with me," Abby said, and we both took a shot. "We're going to have so much fun tonight," she said, shaking my shoulders, making me laugh. "Yeah, you're right." I said. I was determined to leave Dane behind and not let him ruin
"I'll give you five bucks, and I'll even watch Die Hard with you," I say, making an offer. "Deal," he chuckles and hands me a ping pong ball. "Are you ready? Eye-to-eye, no cheating," he says, and I nod, focusing on the cups. His green eyes were captivating, making me want to do things beyond my control. "Look right here," he says, tapping his forehead, and I roll my eyes, preparing to shoot. The game is intense, but we both hold our ground, and soon we're down to the final cup. The room is now crowded, the music so loud that our trash talk is barely audible. "Why's everyone watching this?" a girl asks her friend. "Because if Kent loses, he has to do a strip tease!" the friend says excitedly. "I'd love to see his abs!" "That's not fair. Why wouldn't he make that bet with one of us?" the first girl asks. I didn't want to do this in front of everyone, but Kent makes the final shot and wins. I deliberately miss my two redemption shots, relieved that I won't have to follow through
"This is one of the most confusing moments of my life. Dane sure knows how to pick his timing," I whisper to myself. "What do you mean Dane's here?" I ask, turning to face the person who told me he was here. "He just walked through the front door. He sticks out like a sore thumb, looks like someone's older brother," she replies with a shrug. "Do you want me to bring him in here?" "I'll come out in a moment," I tell her, and she nods before leaving and closing the door behind her. "What did you want to talk to me about?" I turn to Kent, who looks just as conflicted as I feel. "Don't you want to go see him?" he asks. "Do you want me to leave?" I ask, feeling disappointed. "Just tell me, I'm all ears." "I don't want to cause any trouble between you and Dane," he says quietly. "I just want you to be happy." "Kent, be honest with me. Don't push me away from him because it's the easy thing to do," I say, putting my hand on his knee. "Explain." "It's not anything serious, I just wanted
I wanted Kent. As much as Kent was a jerk to me when we first met, he'd never insulted me for things like Dane had. For my interests or friends or the things I liked. I thought about Kent, what it would be like to finally get this free, unhidden version of him. I dreamt about him, thought about his arms, about how he made me feel. Dane was a consolation prize in comparison, but I had to be okay with that for now. Because anything's better than getting all tangled up with Kent's secrets. At least Dane had the decency to be honest about things and tell me exactly how he felt. "This is what I want, that kiss with Kent was random and one time only. I've got something stable with Dane for now," I whisper, and she gives me a doubtful look. "I don't want to lose my friendship with you over it, please." "I don't like him, Juls. I don't trust him," she whispers, and I press my lips together. "But I love you, please be careful." "I will, you know I'm always smart about things," I whisper, an
I wake up in an unfamiliar bed, the sun is shining in around the blinds, and I blink my eyes open. I instantly feel an arm draped over my body, and I gulp. My head's pounding, my body's heavy, and I just feel sick. Not from my hangover, but from sleeping here with Dane. I don't want to be this close to him, I never cuddled with him. Not even before our fight this week. I quickly slip out from under his arm and press my lips together, standing up. He's still dead asleep, and as soon as I look down at my phone, I see that stupid wrapper again. I carefully kneel down and swipe it up, heading to the bathroom. I doubt he knows it's even there. I run my finger along the inside of the package, feeling the greasy texture inside. It must be recent. I memorize what type it is and then wrap it up in tissues as quietly as possible, burying it at the bottom of the trash can. I wash my hands and try to shake off the unpleasant thoughts that come to mind. I'd hate to think that in the brief time
"Kent." "Yeah, Kent. I just feel like you two are closer than you are with the other guys you live with." He shrugs. "He looked like he wanted to stomp me into the ground last night." Dane wasn't very perceptive, none of my friends were okay with him there last night. I guess Kent's dirty looks were taken to heart. "I need you to promise me nothing's going on with him." He says quietly and I feel guilt boiling in my stomach. I'm a liar, this isn't fair to anyone, especially not Dane. Maybe nothing was going on with Kent, but I wanted something to be. I wished I'd just stayed with him last night anyway. Kent's never open like that, he opened that door a crack and as soon as he heard Dane was there, it shut like a watertight seal. "There's nothing going on with him." I assure him, keeping my voice even and my eyes on his. "I don't want you to see him anymore." "Dane." I sigh, shaking my head. "We live together, that's not possible." "Well, then......please don't hangout with him
"Give me a call or something before bed, alright?" Dane tells me, and I sigh, keeping the phone pressed to my ear. "I'll try, I'll be up late tonight, but I'll send you a text," I reply with a shrug. "Okay, great. Have a good night, Juls. I'll see you Friday for our date." I have regrets, huge regrets, and I don't have a clue what to do. Dane has been borderline obsessive since we got back together. He texts and calls all the time, he wants to see me every night and have me come over to his place. As if it wasn't bad enough that we had such a messy split last week, it was only worsened by the new terms we settled on at breakfast the next morning. The night before, I was initially taken with Dane's effort. That he showed up in an effort to get me back and that he was prepared to let me take some time to think about it. But the next morning when I woke up in his bed, I felt nagged. I felt like I'd really done the wrong thing, and I couldn't figure out why. It was nice to be wanted,
I step out of my room and walk down the hall, noticing that it's already starting to get late. I have a shift at the pool every night this week, except for Friday and Saturday. Well, and today, Monday. It's been over a week since our Halloween mess, and things are starting to settle down. I walk into the kitchen, hearing silence in the apartment. I take out a frozen pizza and set the oven to preheat, leaning back on the counter. I figure most of my roommates would be out; it's getting busier around campus. Mark and Kyle work most weeknights to have their weekends free. Kent has been at the library all weekend working on a major assignment. I hear a knock on the door, assuming it's one of my roommates forgetting their keys and coming home. I go to open it, and my heart drops. Chase stands in front of me, his brown eyes surrounded by dark circles, and I gulp. "Juls," he says quietly, and I shake my head. "What are you doing here?" I ask, feeling confused, and he sighs. "I-I wanted t