When my mother died, I couldn’t understand the depth of death. The finality of it was incomprehensible to me. My mind was too young and sold to fantasies to process that I would never see her again. My Father and my sisters were cautious in breaking the news to me but I never understood why, They explained to me in little doses, as if I couldn't handle the full truth. It was because I couldn’t handle tragedy and they knew, I couldn't stand great pain without crumbling and right from childhood it was evident. Back then, even after they had told me of her demise, I would ask father every day when she would return, hurting him and pressing my hands further into where it hurt most without even realizing it. He would tell me she wasn’t coming back and I would begin to cry and wail nonstop, my entire being in a steady refusal of the fact that she had ceased to exist. As my wobbly legs carried me to the broken form of Lola on the floor, I could hear that part of me crying out in denial on
I held Lola while she slept not just because I felt guilty for her pain but because she looked genuinely scared to sleep on her own. In the short while of knowing her, she had proved fearless but I had already brought this to her, and it hurt me that whoever was behind this couldn't take me, instead, they went after someone who literally knew nothing about what they wanted. I never should have told her. I thought about telling Lola that he looked like an animal because he probably was, and he had one living inside him too but how was it going to make any sense? She would probably run away thinking I am nuts and that would be goodbye to the one friend and roommate I had finally made. Besides, it was against the rules too to involve humans, I knew that much, so while she recounted how she told him everything and he listened raptly, suddenly becoming a different and calmer person when she finished stating everything I told her- probably knowing I know nothing or at least didn't tell her
It was stupid of me to think confronting whoever it was would bring out something useful. My plan of finding more about L was still in full view, I decided that if it were Mac’s doing, I would let him explain, and if there were a sensible explanation, then I would let it go and continue my secret gathering of data for him, superstitious, yeah I know. But if it was L’s doing then, I would make sure to get all his vulnerable points and hand them over to Mac to do whatever evil he had in mind. It would only intensify and strengthen my reason to get intel on him. If he was behind all this, then the small part of my conscience that felt bad about my plan in motion would finally be at ease. It was a win-win I didn't want to consider the fact that there was a high chance that if it turned out to be Mac he wouldn't bother explaining himself, or it wouldn't be a reason what I would expect; something like he was trying to protect me, I didn't want to think about that at all as I weighed my op
CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT. Ever since I heard the name Luke it has been playing in my head on repeat, drowning out every other thought I could possibly harbour. Only a few thoughts survived and one of it was the thought of Luke, finally knowing what L means, the frustration it eased from my shoulders was bliss. Then there was the way I riled Mac up and the way he looked at me before drove out. There was also the fact that I finally admitted to seeing someone in his house and even went ahead to say the only thing I know about that person so I might as well be dead meat, I had no idea. But it was worth the risk, I got side tracked but certainly I can tell you that I was pleased by the fact that I at least had a name to pin on L, it wasn't progress to finding who planned the kidnap of Lola but it was progress to something even bigger than that. Speaking about the whole Lola and Fred thing, Fred was no where to be found. Seriously he completely vanished into thin air and all my attempts t
I didn't know what to make of it; I didn't know what to make of anything other than the fact that It was gone. but How? and When? My heart was pounding in my chest. What next? What would happen now? Lola thought I was sleep acting and forced me back to sleep right after that but I couldn't sleep back. Heck, I couldn't do anything other than overanalyze the entire situation. I was trembling. I turned my back from her and pretended to be asleep, but my mind was wide awake and buzzing with ideas. How did he take it? How did he enter the dorm yet again, and what was his deal really? I was ready to face him and ask all these questions that were killing me. How could he enter the room without any of us knowing? How could he place and take letters at will? How did he save me that day? I was relieved to be somewhere close to getting answers but also scared of what would happen from there. I prepared myself, though, on Thursday, I woke up ready for the meeting, but no one showed up and no
I couldn't breathe. I was so sure that the world stopped moving, It seemed like everything had paused and all that was unfolding here was this moment in front of us and I couldn't place my hands on how fast things went. It was bizarre. This was the meeting, this was it. My heart was thundering and my breathing almost ceased. What did he mean by coming for me? What exactly did he mean by that and Why did a part of me want it? Why did I find myself nodding after he asked if I was ready? What did my nodding mean? Why did the thoughts of Mac completely elude me while he was in my presence? Why did I find it hard to breathe around him? What were these feelings and reactions? Why did he take off swiftly after my response? Why did a part of me miss him immediately after he vanished? Once again, all I had were questions, questions, questions, it was infuriating, and it made me frustrated. I didn't even have any means of contacting him again. What the hell? I know that I should have at lea
Test week was fast approaching and it took everything in me to not faint at that realization, After the whole events with the multiple men in my life what I needed right now was to concentrate on school work but I seemed to remember that a tad bit late. The days had passed in a blur and this was the second dramaless week in my life in a very long time, that is if you are leaving out the frenzy of preparing for tests, then Yes, it was fairly less hectic than other ones. Lola and I wafted through our busy schedules without seeing so much of each other. I missed her. Over the months our bond grew and strengthened and I couldn't wait for things to be a bit calmer so that I could have more time for her excess talking and wild tendencies. I was going home briefly for a two weeks break after all the tests, maybe that was the only reason I was able to drown out the thoughts of Mac because I hoped to at least see him when I got home (even when I didn't know how) and gauge how badly I had dam
I was waiting for the cab that would drive me back while hugging Lola for the seventh time in the lapse of an hour. Finally, we were done with tests and had a little break so I was going home, I had tried on some tests and done poorly on some but I was optimistic about most of them, and most of all, I was excited to leave for home. Distance does make the heart fonder. The journey was short, but I slept all through, one moment I was leaning my head against the window frame, and the next moment I had zoned off into the sweet arms of sleep. It was Amanda’s shriek that woke me up and for the first few moments after I heard her scream, I wondered if Lola had followed me back but I knew I was wrong and I laughed softly when the brown hair of Amands engulfed me in a hug. “ You're suffocating me” I managed to say, truthfully she was, she had climbed on top of me where I sat in the back seat and was now holding me in a deadly grip. When did she get so touchy? She pushed back a little and