Chapter 7 : It'll Take a Village

Astrid

The rest of dinner passed with periods of awkward silence and small talk. It was pleasant, for the most part. Although, it was obvious that we were both afraid of saying anything wrong.

After dinner, dad told me that my bags had been brought up to my old bedroom. I wasn’t exactly thrilled to know that I would be staying in my old room, even though it made sense for me to do so. I followed behind him as he led me up the stairs. Everything still somehow felt so familiar, yet so foreign at the same time—like I was in some kind of dream.

We walked past the door to my parent’s room. It was slightly ajar and I smelt my mother’s scent drift into my nostrils. My eyes welled, but I bit back the emotion and continued forward. Thank the goddess dad didn’t notice.

He opened the door to my bedroom and let me walk in first. It looked just like how I left it. I must’ve had an expression on my face as I heard his voice say, “Is it like you remember?”

I nodded as my hand grazed the bedpost. “Eerily,” I replied.

Dad chuckled and I heard him step in behind me. “I hope it’s set up to your liking. If not, let me know and I’ll have Solomon send someone to fix it.”

I scoffed as I set down my bag and sat down on the bed. “I’m sure he’d love that.”

Dad hummed and took his spot beside me. “I know Solomon was tough on you, but it was—”

“If you say for a ‘good reason,’” I warned, prompting a sigh from my dad.

Dad paused and after a moment of silence, turned to me. “What about Tristian?”

My heart raced as I stared at my dad, trying to think of a way to answer his sudden question. I must have given something away in my expression earlier. Was I blushing? My face didn’t feel warm…

“W-What about him?” I asked.

“Was he one of the kids that picked on you?” he asked with a twinge of anger peeking through in his voice.

“What?” I asked in disbelief, both at his question and my sudden relief. I laughed. I didn’t mean to, but the idea of Tristan bullying me was so strange. “No, not at all. He’s the one that protected me.”

A broad smile spread across my dad’s face. “Good,” he said. “I’m glad to hear that.”

‘Dad likes him,’ my wolf said softly.

‘Shut up,’ I scolded. ‘It doesn’t matter.’

I took the edge of the blanket and ran it through my fingers. I really had to stop thinking about Tristan. I was bad at hiding my feelings. If I kept getting flustered like this, someone was going to notice.

“I’m glad you finally agreed to come,” he said. “Even if you don’t stay long, I wanted to see you.”

“I know,” I said.

I chewed at the inside of my cheek to keep myself from saying more. I wanted to point out that he was the reason we had been separated, but he already knew that. It would just cause another argument. We should be able to have at least one nice evening.

Another awkward silence. Man, the night was full of them. I hoped this wasn’t how the entire stay went. The scent coming from my parent’s room wafted back into my mind, and I bit my cheek a bit harder.

I wanted to ask him about mom, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t actually know what killed her. I just knew that she got sick and gradually got worse. Both dad and Victoria had been too upset to give me any details when I had spoken to them about her passing before. But I wonder if now…

Suddenly, there was a knock on my door. I looked up to see Solomon’s face glaring down at me before his attention turned to my dad.

“Sir,” he started.

My dad looked down at his watch. “Oh, sorry, Solomon. I didn’t notice the time. Sorry, Astrid, but this is a really important meeting that I can’t miss. But I promise, we’ll meet up again soon.”

His hand automatically moved to pat mine, like he used to when I was a kid, but it stopped short. I could see the pained expression on his face—it was like confusion mixed with hurt—as he paused and then pulled his hand back. He then cleared his throat and stood.

“Right, I’ll see you soon. Let Victoria know if she can do anything for you or take you anywhere.”

I gave him a small comforting smile. “Thanks,” I said softly. Dad nodded and then followed Solomon out the door, shutting it behind him.

Once he left, I fell back onto the bed and let out a huff. So, I was on my own for the rest of the night. I considered just going to bed. I was exhausted from the emotional ups and downs of the day.

Only, I knew I wouldn’t be able to relax yet. This was my childhood home, but I had been away for so long that it felt like a stranger here. I usually struggled to sleep in strange places, and that applied here.

So, rather than sleep, I decided to explore the house a bit, in the hopes that I would start to feel more at home. I wasn’t confident it would work, but I wasn’t sure where else to start.

There was plenty that I could do on my own. Nothing in the packhouse was off limits except for my dad’s office and I had no desire to go in there. He was probably in there with Solomon, anyway.

I thought of the cold way he looked at me and I groaned. I’ve never understood why he hated me, but it was very clear that he did. He was always cold towards me and criticized everything that I did, even as a child.

If I could avoid him while I was here, then I would.

I considered going outside to see the gardens, but I didn’t want to risk running into anyone. It was common for young couples to walk through the packhouse gardens at sunset and take in the pretty scenery. Just the thought of it made my stomach turn.

I went to the dining room window and looked out into the garden. I could see the reds and pinks of the flowers in the sea of greenery that made up the garden. There were several people walking around, just as I expected.

Yeah, I didn’t want to be part of any of that.

Between my bitter memories of Charles and my confusing emotions about Tristan, I wanted to avoid anything remotely romantic. Just thinking about the emerald green of Tristan’s eyes made my heart beat erratically.

“This can’t be healthy,” I muttered as I walked away from the window.

Instead, I went to the library. It was one of my favorite parts of the house when I was a kid. My mom used to spend a lot of time there and I would often play there just to be close to her.

I smiled sadly at the memory. We used to sit on the couch together with one huge blanket wrapped around both of us. She would work on her correspondences while I read comic books or did my homework.

She would always make herself a cup of coffee and get me a hot chocolate. I felt so grown up when she let me “work” with her.

I pushed the heavy wooden door open and went into the library. It was a large room with bookshelves lining every wall and a small fireplace with a well worn couch across from it. I sat on the couch and stared at the cold stones of the mantle where I used to sit and listen to her pen scratching on the paper.

I sighed. I really didn’t want to cry, but it was just so wrong being here without her.

“I miss you, mom,” I whispered to the air, praying that she’d hear me…somehow.

“I miss her too,” a female voice replied.

I jumped in shock and turned to find Victoria standing in the doorway behind me.

“You scared me!” I said in irritation.

“Sorry,” she replied with a slight smirk. “I didn’t realize you were in here.”

“I was just looking around a bit before bed,” I explained. “I wanted to see how much things have changed…”

She nodded and came to sit beside me on the couch.

“It’s okay to miss her,” she stated. She put her hand on my knee and squeezed comfortingly.

I swallowed down my emotions and changed the subject. “It’s late, what are you still doing here?”

“Oh,” she said in surprise. “I’m sorry, I thought that I’d told you already. I’ve been living in the packhouse.”

My eyes went wide. “I didn’t know that.”

Victoria was the Gamma, so it’s not completely out of the ordinary for her to live in the packhouse, but she had always insisted on having her own home. In all of the years I’d known her, I never knew of her spending a single night in the packhouse.

“Why?” I asked.

“I moved in when your mom got sick,” she explained. “Your dad wanted someone that he could trust to look after her… I just haven’t felt like it’s the right time for me to leave yet. There’s a lot to be done.”

“Wait, so…” I frowned deeply. “If you’re already living here in order to help out, then why did my dad insist on me coming?” I felt my irritation from earlier in the day bubbling back up. “Why can’t you take on the Luna’s role until he finds a different solution?”

Victoria sighed and brushed her long black hair over her shoulder. “I’ve been helping out where I can,” she explained. “Mostly I’ve been cooking and managing the household. Taking over your mom’s projects…” she shook her head and diverted her eyes. “I just can’t.”

“You can’t?” I asked softly.

She shook her head and put her hand over her face. Her voice was strained when she said, “I just can’t bear to do it.”

I inhaled sharply through my nose and held my breath for a moment. I needed to remember that everyone was dealing with grief for mom, and it wasn’t fair of me to demand they take on more. If Victoria could fill in for mom, then she wouldn’t have asked me to come, and I knew that deep down.

I reached out and took her hand lightly.

She sniffled and wiped her eyes, then gave me a watery smile. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I know I have no right to cry. You lost your mom.”

“She was your best friend,” I argued. “You have every right to be upset.”

She nodded slowly. “Your mom was an amazing woman. It’s going to take some time to get back to normal. Everyone misses her so much…”

I nodded, although I didn’t believe that everyone really missed her. I couldn’t imagine Solomon losing much sleep over mom’s death.

“It’s just this place…” I started softly. “I know, I sound like a broken record and I’m really not trying to complain, it’s just…”

“I know, dear,” she said gently, filling in the gaps for me. She put her arm around me and squeezed firmly. “You’ve done the right thing by coming back. You’re part of the pack, even if it doesn’t feel like it, and the good of the pack can’t be ignored.”

I frowned deeply at her words. I hated when pack morals were used against me—but I wasn’t going to fight. Not now, and not in this library.

Victoria released me and a sad, but genuine smile crossed her face. “You know, it’s going to take more than one person to fill in for your mom. She always worked herself too hard. I always said it’d—”

“Take a village to do her duties,” I finished at the same time as her. Victoria smiled. She did always say that, even when I was a kid.

I nodded. Mom did work herself to the bone for the pack. She wanted to prove herself to them and show that being human didn’t make her any less of a Luna.

“I know,” I said. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say the idea worried me. If it was going to take multiple people to fill her shoes…would I ever get to leave?