Chapter 5

Faye’s pov

“I can't let go of this, Faye.”

“You're not —”

He cut me off. “You should go.”

He turned his focus to the scrolls like I wasn't standing there.

I hated how he could do this to me but what I hated the most was the most treacherous part of me that didn't want to leave.

I hissed, walking towards him, my eyes heavy with unshaded tears that tear deep into my heart.

I won't leave, Killian, I will stay.

I stood up hearing the word, “I won't leave” his gaze surprisedly raised to me.

I stood frozen, the words hanging in the air like a bitter chill. You should go. The coldness in his tone struck deep, and for a moment, I almost believed it. I almost believed that leaving would somehow make things easier for him and me.

But then I realized, I couldn’t leave him—not like this.

“Killian,” I whispered, my voice trembling with the weight of all that was unsaid between us.

He didn’t look up. The rustle of parchment was all that answered me, a dull, rhythmic sound as though he was actively trying to drown out my presence, to drown out everything between us.

It was like a slap to the face. I am here for you, I wanted to scream. Can’t you see that I’m not leaving you, even if you want me to?

My feet moved before I could stop them. Each step felt heavier than the last as I crossed the cold stone floor, drawing closer to him. The archives were quiet, save for the faint crackling of the candle flames. My heart beat louder in my chest, drowning out everything else.

I stopped just a few paces away from his desk, where he was hunched over, scanning ancient texts. His brow furrowed with concentration, but it was clear to me now—he wasn’t just looking for answers about their history. He was running away. From everything. From me.

“Killian,” I said again, louder this time, my voice filled with raw emotion. “You can’t keep doing this. We have to face this together. Whatever comes, we face it.”

His hands faltered for a moment, and I saw it. The subtle, almost imperceptible crack in his armour. His lips pressed tight together, but his eyes—his eyes flicked to me, filled with a storm of emotions that he refused to show. He exhaled slowly as if the air itself weighed him down.

“I’m not afraid of war, Faye,” he muttered, his voice low, rough. “But I am afraid of losing you.”

I froze. His words hit me harder than I anticipated. My breath caught in my throat, and for the first time, I saw him for what he was—just a young man, burdened by everything he couldn’t control. He was trying to protect me, but in doing so, he was pushing me away.

“Killian,” I whispered, my hands shaking as I reached out, placing them on the edge of the desk. My touch was gentle, but it burned. “You can’t protect me by shutting me out. I’m not some fragile thing to be hidden away. We’re in this together, remember?”

The tension in the room was suffocating. The air crackled with a desperate kind of energy that neither of us had the words for.

For a long moment, Killian said nothing. He didn’t even move. The flickering candlelight danced in his eyes, casting shadows on his face that made him look even more distant, even more unreachable.

“Faye,” he finally said, his voice softer now, almost too quiet. “I don’t want you to watch me die. This war—this battle—it could kill us all. I can’t bear the thought of you being there, watching it.”

His words made my heart ache. I wanted to scream, to tell him how wrong he was, but I couldn’t. Not yet. I had to make him see.

I walked around the desk until I was standing beside him, facing him directly. My hand hovered over his, hesitant at first, but then I placed it gently over his, squeezing it softly.

“You won’t die,” I said firmly, my gaze never leaving his. “Not if I can help it. And I will help it, Killian. I’m not leaving. I’m not giving up on you.”

He turned to face me fully now, his eyes dark with something raw and unspoken. The intensity in his gaze made my breath catch, but I held my ground. I couldn’t let him fall into the shadows. Not again.

Slowly, his fingers curled around mine, his grip strong but uncertain. The quiet stillness between us seemed to stretch on forever, and yet in that moment, everything felt so real. So alive.

“What if it’s my fate to die, Faye?” His voice was almost a whisper now, hoarse and broken. “What if this is it for me? For us?”

I shook my head, refusing to let him go down that path. “You don’t get to decide that,” I said fiercely. “You don’t get to decide your fate alone. We decide together. And I’m not going to let this be the end. Not for you, not for me.”

For the briefest moment, I saw a flicker of hope in his eyes, a crack in the walls he’d built so carefully around himself. And then—before I could stop it—his lips were on mine.

It was a kiss that burned, a kiss that held everything we couldn’t say in words. His hands found their way to my waist, pulling me closer, and I let him. I needed to feel him, needed to feel the warmth of him against me. To remind myself that he was here, that he was still mine.

When we pulled away, my heart was racing. I felt his breath against my lips, felt the weight of everything unsaid still hanging between us. But there was something else there too—something fragile, something that made me feel like maybe, just maybe, we could survive whatever was coming.

“I’m not ready to lose you, Faye,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

“I’m not ready to lose you either,” I replied, my voice steady despite the whirlwind inside of me. “But we can’t keep hiding from this. We have to face it, together. We have to face the war, face everything that’s coming.”

He looked down at me, his eyes searching mine, and in that moment, I saw it—the vulnerability he kept hidden behind the mask of the cold, unyielding Alpha.

“I don’t know if I can do this without you,” he said quietly, almost as if admitting a weakness he had never shown anyone.

I cupped his face, my thumb brushing against the stubble on his jaw, my gaze softening. “Then you don’t have to do it alone, Killian. I’m here. Always.”

He leaned into my touch, his eyes closing for a brief moment, as though he were savouring the comfort of my presence.

And for the first time in days, he allowed himself to rest.

The world outside was still waiting for us, the war still looming, but for a moment, in that quiet room, we had nothing but each other. No fighting, no planning, no danger. Just us.

It wasn’t enough to change everything, but it was enough to keep us going.

“Stay with me tonight,” he murmured, his voice barely audible.

I nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips.

“I’m not going anywhere, Killian.”