Alexis
The toughest conversations are the ones we’ve never had with our heart. Conversations with heart are always honest; pure, real and non pretentious. It is a non judgmental zone where you can bare all without any fear… The heart always knows the truth no matter what condition it is in; your heart will always lead you to the right answer . Your heart will always lead you home.
I have had moments when I’ve doubted the very love I believed in.
The day Simon Nathan broke my heart was one of them, the other was the day I lost Ben, and now… Now it’s whether or not I love Aaron. For the longest of times I have struggled with letting anyone in or talk about how I really felt about a situation. When I got together with Aaron over the time we were together, I had lost a part of myself. In my head I foolishly believed that true I had to sacrifice a part of myself to be with him. Tr
AaronAlexis is really unpredictable. Her unpredictability can be both exciting and unsettling at times, but it makes sense at the end of the day.When I entered the house Alexis was walking around barefoot in my kitchen looking serious. She got the hint earlier that I wanted her in our home. When she recognized my presence ; she smiled and blew a kiss at me , and for a moment my heart skipped a beat and fell in love again. It was already mid afternoon and I hadn’t eaten so; so I headed to the kitchen to go make lunch for us both.I didn’t have much in the fridge but I had enough to whip up a meal. Usually I would ask Dave what he wanted , and he would order it in. I cooked for him every now and then but, I could tell she missed Lexi as much as I did. She planned meals and she made sure we all ate as a family with Mary included. She took a seat on the comfy stools in front of the counter and loo
AlexisWe only appreciate something after it has been taken away from us. We are often told to be thankful for every little thing, and I always say; being thankful should be habitual.Sometimes we don’t know how good we have it until something happens, and your world is turned upside down. I have a theory . “Tragedy” has a way of bringing things into focus. The process is there for a reason and however long it takes; you will learn the lessons that help you either elevate your levels of perception and trust your sixth sense, or open up a door to more questions that lead you to the right answers, and hopefully you can find a way out of the maze you have been trying to navigate. We are here on purpose. Sticking to the task at hand is a given, the only time we falter is when we focus on other peoples blessings instead of ours. Success comes in different phases and forms. Learn to wait your turn and trust in God&r
AaronIn a split second everything can change.After leaving Alexis alone to prepare lunch , because Mary was held hostage by her crazy roommate who injured herself . I made the necessary arrangements to bring my sister home and hire in a caregiver to make sure she was stable .I dropped her off at the pent house and told her I would see her tomorrow. On my way back Lexi called me and I told her I was on the way. I had taken a short cut to get to the Estate because I was worried about David.He was behaving strangely this morning before he went to hang out with Angelo. Cleo had also called me to ask if everything was okay with both Dave and me. Truth be told we were not okay. He was mad at me because I apparently do not consider his feelings. When I asked him if he missed Alexis he didn't answer me he just went to the games room ,and to top it all off he locked the door so that I couldn
AlexisI am not afraid of dreaming. I am afraid of staying awake and not allowing myself to dream big enough and believe that I can do ,and be anything I want. Even a super shero. I am also not afraid of waking up and dealing with the fact that I have an unfinished life, that I still want to live and make the most out of it…When you are living you constantly ask yourself if you are doing enough? When you are going you ask yourself if you did all you wanted and was it enough. When you’re gone what you never did is done and in between those three steps; your whole life flashes before your eyes.When I rolled down the stairs; I was afraid . I was afraid that I had failed my unborn baby by not keeping him safe, afraid that my relationship with David was never going to be the same , and more than that I was afraid that I had robbed my brother of becoming an uncle and Aaron becoming a father again.
Chapter 51AaronBalance is the most fundamental aspect of life. whether you want to admit it or not every action or event ;evokes some sort of balance. At a point where I thought everything was coming together again, everything started falling apart. I knew my son was angry when he found his mothers pictures in a box of things I kept of Lara. I was going to give it to him on his birthday , but he found it when he was looking for something . The first question he asked was ; why did Alexis have similar features to his mother. I told him ; it was a coincidence. He snapped out of the blue and told me I was lying, he said; you are a sick selfish human being. I sat him down after his rant and I told him everything with regards to what happened when he was five years old. I also told him that I fought hard to get him back , and that I was sorry . We were still on moody terms with each other. He was moody and irritable if not mean to me until the accident happe
PlanesEach day is a gift and not a given right. I often say that to myself, to be thankful for every day and count my blessings. I never expected to be where I am at this very moment in my life. All I can be is thankful. I didn't expect to run into him after what happened, but he saved my life on more than one account we were bound to cross paths again. I don't think I have everything figured out yet and I still don't think I am worthy to have him in my life. In my own opinion he has everything going for him and I'm just starting out.If we end up together, we will be facing a long list of problems. I live in a country that is still healing from the past. It was taboo too cross the color line. Things have changed and it's not taboo anymore. Truth be told it all comes down to fear and more specifically the fear of letting go.You cannot help who your heart falls for .Falling in love is inevitable its life. However I found that ;the most potent kind of love
Chapter 2There are days when you know you wake up in a bed that you know is yours .Waking up in a room that you're unfamiliar with can be somewhat a shock to the system . My body was starting to switch on from being in sleep mode , something felt odd, and by that I mean I wasfeeling way to warm for an autumn morning. I tried to stretch but it felt as if I hit what felt like hard slabs of muscle. I started feeling around and I think I touched something I shouldn't have ; because the source of heat that I was sleeping next to started moving . The first question that popped into my dazed mind was what happened last night, and how the hell did I end up in bed with this guy, and why aren't I safe and sound in the comfort of my own home ...When my eyes fluttered open ; I saw an angelic face in lala land , his lips were slightly parted and oh my word he looked so adorable.Focus Alexis we need to devise an escape plan. I know
chapter 3 AaronIt happened so fast . It happened so fast that I didn't even have time to process what had happened and deal with the heavy blow that I have been dealt with. I'm strong enough to withstand any pain and I would do almost anything to protect my family. On the night I lost Laura my whole world came crashing down around me. It felt like my reason for being happy had been taken away from me... We were on our way back from a family day picnic; both my son and wife were singing along to One Republic's I lived. I was driving us back home and it was raining . Laura was busy on her phone and David was buckled up safely in the car seat. He had my eyes but his mother's face . I had canceled all my meetings for that weekend . This was the third weekend I had spent with them without any interruptions . I realized I had missed out on a lot with my wife and son because my son had asked me; if there are going to be more weekends like the ones we just had . I promised him we would and
Chapter 51AaronBalance is the most fundamental aspect of life. whether you want to admit it or not every action or event ;evokes some sort of balance. At a point where I thought everything was coming together again, everything started falling apart. I knew my son was angry when he found his mothers pictures in a box of things I kept of Lara. I was going to give it to him on his birthday , but he found it when he was looking for something . The first question he asked was ; why did Alexis have similar features to his mother. I told him ; it was a coincidence. He snapped out of the blue and told me I was lying, he said; you are a sick selfish human being. I sat him down after his rant and I told him everything with regards to what happened when he was five years old. I also told him that I fought hard to get him back , and that I was sorry . We were still on moody terms with each other. He was moody and irritable if not mean to me until the accident happe
AlexisI am not afraid of dreaming. I am afraid of staying awake and not allowing myself to dream big enough and believe that I can do ,and be anything I want. Even a super shero. I am also not afraid of waking up and dealing with the fact that I have an unfinished life, that I still want to live and make the most out of it…When you are living you constantly ask yourself if you are doing enough? When you are going you ask yourself if you did all you wanted and was it enough. When you’re gone what you never did is done and in between those three steps; your whole life flashes before your eyes.When I rolled down the stairs; I was afraid . I was afraid that I had failed my unborn baby by not keeping him safe, afraid that my relationship with David was never going to be the same , and more than that I was afraid that I had robbed my brother of becoming an uncle and Aaron becoming a father again.
AaronIn a split second everything can change.After leaving Alexis alone to prepare lunch , because Mary was held hostage by her crazy roommate who injured herself . I made the necessary arrangements to bring my sister home and hire in a caregiver to make sure she was stable .I dropped her off at the pent house and told her I would see her tomorrow. On my way back Lexi called me and I told her I was on the way. I had taken a short cut to get to the Estate because I was worried about David.He was behaving strangely this morning before he went to hang out with Angelo. Cleo had also called me to ask if everything was okay with both Dave and me. Truth be told we were not okay. He was mad at me because I apparently do not consider his feelings. When I asked him if he missed Alexis he didn't answer me he just went to the games room ,and to top it all off he locked the door so that I couldn
AlexisWe only appreciate something after it has been taken away from us. We are often told to be thankful for every little thing, and I always say; being thankful should be habitual.Sometimes we don’t know how good we have it until something happens, and your world is turned upside down. I have a theory . “Tragedy” has a way of bringing things into focus. The process is there for a reason and however long it takes; you will learn the lessons that help you either elevate your levels of perception and trust your sixth sense, or open up a door to more questions that lead you to the right answers, and hopefully you can find a way out of the maze you have been trying to navigate. We are here on purpose. Sticking to the task at hand is a given, the only time we falter is when we focus on other peoples blessings instead of ours. Success comes in different phases and forms. Learn to wait your turn and trust in God&r
AaronAlexis is really unpredictable. Her unpredictability can be both exciting and unsettling at times, but it makes sense at the end of the day.When I entered the house Alexis was walking around barefoot in my kitchen looking serious. She got the hint earlier that I wanted her in our home. When she recognized my presence ; she smiled and blew a kiss at me , and for a moment my heart skipped a beat and fell in love again. It was already mid afternoon and I hadn’t eaten so; so I headed to the kitchen to go make lunch for us both.I didn’t have much in the fridge but I had enough to whip up a meal. Usually I would ask Dave what he wanted , and he would order it in. I cooked for him every now and then but, I could tell she missed Lexi as much as I did. She planned meals and she made sure we all ate as a family with Mary included. She took a seat on the comfy stools in front of the counter and loo
AlexisThe toughest conversations are the ones we’ve never had with our heart. Conversations with heart are always honest; pure, real and non pretentious. It is a non judgmental zone where you can bare all without any fear… The heart always knows the truth no matter what condition it is in; your heart will always lead you to the right answer . Your heart will always lead you home.I have had moments when I’ve doubted the very love I believed in.The day Simon Nathan broke my heart was one of them, the other was the day I lost Ben, and now… Now it’s whether or not I love Aaron. For the longest of times I have struggled with letting anyone in or talk about how I really felt about a situation. When I got together with Aaron over the time we were together, I had lost a part of myself. In my head I foolishly believed that true I had to sacrifice a part of myself to be with him. Tr
AaronThree weeks laterMary relapsed again. I blame myself for that happening. Ever since the shooting I have been recovering very well and I am healing.Christmas was different this year though. Mary was okay until she lost it at Cleo for no apparent reason. Sarah was also shocked and as I suspected she gave Lexi hell in Cape Town. Lexi had been away and I hadn’t seen her in a long time a month to be exact and May went as far as blocking her on all accounts. Carl and the Perelli bunch joined us for the Christmas lunch.Alexis was six months pregnant and what hurt the most was missing out on a lot of things. The shooting wasn’t her fault .When I called CT he told me; She was out and she didn’t want to talk to me about anything. I knew that he bought a house just down the road and I had the innate feeling that Lexi was around. Our connection was and is always strong .
44AlexisFeelsFear is the enemy of courage. Courage is what we have, when we look fear in the face and tell it to go to hell and stay there because life is calling. When life calls we answer ; however when life happens we react. How we react can determine the outcome of the situation. Given what was 'going on I couldn’t lose it and become a drama queen. Drama has its benefits when you want to make a statement ,and when you do make the statement make sure you don’t trip and fall on your face… it happens to the best of us when we least expect. Courage and kindness are not really rare traits. They are embedded in us ; we just need to flick the switch. What courage does is give us the power to overcome and with that comes understanding. Through understanding you learn to see a situation for what it is and take a gentle approach in helping someone. Kindness has never lost a battle or war. Coupled with hum
AlexisMan downIt happened so fast. It happened so fast that; I didn’t have time to recognize that I was caught in a cross fire between the guys that Carlo and Aaron were shooting at. All I saw was smoke and Carl swearing. It wasn’t until I heard a loud thud on the floor that my heart stopped. Security had come through and a couple of other guys who had the same ring as Carlo . As soon as the smoke cleared Carl bent down to pick me up and give me a hug.“ Hey honey are you okay?”I nodded and looked for Aaron.“Aaron Carl where is Aaron?”I pulled back and looked at the kitchen island . I couldn’t see him .“Aaron!”Carl let go of me and ran to where Aaron was. My heart was already beating fast but it broke when I saw Aaron lying on the floor with a