Chapter Three

The return to my pack feels like it takes forever. Thankfully, most of my return is done with a setting sun. No longer is it blazing down on me.

The instant I cross into pack territory, my wolf is at ease, knowing we are safe and so close to our babes.

As I pass by, I don't stop or acknowledge anyone. The back of my house is where I keep my chest of spare clothes, so I run straight there. Shifting to take out a set and get dressed. As I look down at the set that belongs to Rafe, I pause for a moment. I shake it off as my enhanced hearing picks up on the kids inside, laughing and playing upstairs. 

“You were told not to go,” Haylee says as soon as I step inside my kitchen. “It pissed the council off.” The aroma of tomatoes and spices fills my nose, making my stomach growl as I close the door behind me.

“I had to. And as a member of that council, I happen to know they are always pissed about something. Well, Phil is at least.” I take a seat at the island in my kitchen as I see she’s in here preparing dinner for the kids.

“How were they for you?”

My best friend turns to mock glare at me, which brings my first genuine smile since I left to find Rafe. 

She scoffs before turning back to the stove. “They are angels. Even if Jade thinks she knows everything about anything,” she turns back to look at me, “you are going to have your hands full with her when she’s a teen. I don’t remember us being like that.”

I laugh at that. “No, we were not like that at all. She is too darn smart for her own good. That is why I’ll be in trouble. I don’t think I’ll have to worry about her being dumb like we were.”

“Oh, but the fun we had,” she laughs as she pushes a glass of wine toward me.

“Thank you. And yes, we had fun. How was Jasper?”

After pouring herself a glass and putting the wine away, she sits next to me and I worry at the serious look on her face.

“I think with Rafe being gone, it’s having a tremendous impact on him. He’s not the happy six-year-old we’re used to. He asked a lot of serious questions. I’m guessing ones he’s bottled up and didn’t want to ask you. Because like Jade, he’s smart, he sees what’s going on, and how Rafe being gone affects you. So I think he hasn’t talked with you about everything because he didn’t want to hurt his mama.”

I sniffle as I shake my head and swipe at the tears that came quickly away. Damn you, Rafe.

“I don’t think I’ve helped at all. Especially when he first asked when his daddy was coming back and I answered in anger, telling him, Rafe may never come back and we need to live without him.”

Pity enters her eyes, “you didn’t?”

“Oh, I did.” My laugh is pure bitterness. “I regretted it instantly, but I didn’t correct myself. I guess I should sit them both down and talk with them about what is really going on. You know me, I try to not notice, to pretend everything is normal, but it’s not, and I know they notice and hear things. They deserve the truth and answers.”

“Yeah, they do. If they were any other kids, I would say no, but they’re yours, so that sets them apart from their peers, and now their dad is gone. That’s just another thing that can be used against them. They need all the information they can get to help them through this. And they are smart. They probably already know the answers, just waiting for you to confirm it for them.”

“Yeah.”

She gets back up to stir the pot on the stove. “Thank you for staying with them while I went. I know it put you in a position against the council.”

“Well, it’s a good thing my best friend is on that council, as she pointed out. So I won’t expect too much trouble.”

“I’ll have to go tomorrow and deal with them and their anger.”

“I know you, so I know it’s not even a question. But I get why they’re so angry. Rafe knows a lot about our pack, and you know even more. Rafe is now sided with the enemy. They question if you are giving him more information on us, or if you were to get caught, what you could spill.”

My anger has me surging to my feet. “Did they say this?” I demand.

“I heard it whispered about.”

“That is bullshit. The moment my mate chose the enemy, I blocked our mate link. I haven’t talked to him. I didn’t need to leave to give him information if I wanted to. I could have done that from the comfort of my couch. And I would never spill about my pack, my home, where my pups live. I would never put all of that in danger by giving up what I know.”

Her hands are up in a surrender position, and I realize I’m taking my anger out on her when I don’t mean to. 

I sit back down and meekly look up at her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you. But it just lights a fire under me.”

“I know it does.” We cut our conversation short as little feet come stomping down the stairs and as soon as they enter the kitchen, their squeals ring in my ears.

“Mommy,” they both cry out. I get off the stool and crouch down as they both tackle me. 

My breath rushes out of me as I hold them close and take in their perfect scents. My wolf calms considerably with them in my arms.

“We missed you, mommy, were you able to bring daddy home?” Jade asks, pulling away too soon for my liking. Her silver eyes, so similar to mine, are far too serious as she gazes at me, trying to find the answers herself.

“I missed you both terribly, and I am so, so, happy,” I say, tickling them both, “to be back home with you.” I stop and place a kiss on both of their heads, and try to swallow around the lump in my throat when their faces show dejection and sadness. 

“So dad then?” Jasper asks. His little chin quivers as he tries to square his shoulders and hold in the tears I see glistening on his lashes. My heart breaks at this scene in front of me. I realize my mistakes now. He’s trying to act tough, keep it all in when that’s not his job. It’s my job to hold them and give them a safe space to cry and let it out. 

Sitting down on the floor, I cross my legs and pull them both into my lap. I see out of my peripheral Haylee walking back to the stove.

“I am so sorry, you two, but no daddy did not come back with me.” I grab Jasper’s chin to make him look at me. “You can cry and be sad or mad. It’s okay to feel big emotions right now. I am here for you, so I will hold you while you cry and answer any questions you may have.” I meet Jade’s eyes as she gives me a watery smile. 

“Daddy will come home. I know he will. You will fix this, momma.” My heart clenches at Jade’s words. Oh, how I wish that was true. I will continue to keep trying, because I can’t give up on him, on us and our family, but right now I wish I had the faith she has. “The Moon goddess told me you would.”

That startles me. “Did the Moon goddess actually speak with you, sweetie?” We are all looking at her now. Haylee is leaning over the island to look down at us and Jasper shifts in my lap to face her.

“In a dream, she told me. She said that we can all trust you to fix this. She used bigger words, but those are my own.” My smartie pants I’m sure understood each word the Moon goddess said, but she doesn’t want to explain to her brother what some of them mean.

“Well then, I guess I have some work to do. But first, I love you both so much, and I need you to know that I will never leave you. I may go on a trip like I just did, but I will always return. I promise you this,” I hold my pinkies out to both of them and they take them sealing my pinkie promise.

“Now, is dinner done, Hay?” I ask, glancing up as she wipes her face.

“Sure is, let’s eat.” 

We all stand and grab items to set the table and sit down for dinner. While all I can think about is the visit Jade received from the Moon goddess. It shouldn’t surprise me too much. She visits those in our pack for various reasons. I experienced my first when I was five, only a few days before my family died. I was too young then to understand what she was telling me, but I know now.

I have a long road ahead of me to fix this mess and save my mate from himself and that nasty man he calls his best friend.