Chapter Eight

Xeros Romanov.

I knew my hesitation and anxiety were visible. I couldn't control it. I was hesitant to see her or to even look at her because all that would stare back at me would be nothing but hatred. Mary made sure to inform me that sometimes people who have endured such a brute amount of torture never heal and end up hating everyone around them. Their mental health was fragile,most of them saw the world as a prison and couldn't wait to get off it.

I was scared that if Cassie saw me , she would be reminded of her pain and by the heavens, she had been tortured enough, I wanted to spare her that. But i still couldn't stand by and watch her starve to death even if she insisted she wasn't going to eat.

"I'm sorry," I apologized softly before stepping in without her consent. The fear that was always present in her eyes seemed to deepen even more and that only sent tendrils of pain towards my heart, the tendrils wrapped around and tugged at my heart in a painful fashion.

The door shut behind me as we both stood still eyeing each other's movements with bated breath. She watched me the way an antelope would watch a wolf that was closing in on it at its very last moment, her fear was tangible, and I could almost taste the truth of it.

"Please eat, Cassie," I begged, taking a few steps closer. "Or I will have to feed you."

I had no choice. She looked like she hadn't eaten in days, How was she to heal if her body had no energy and fuel in it.

She shook her head vehemently, pushing her little body against the bedpost.

"I...I am not hungry," She mumbled under her breath, glancing around the room for a way to escape.

She thought of this room as a cage, she thought of my love and our matebond as a cage too, and I was a monster in her eyes.

When I conquered and divided the werewolf community after my parents were brutally murdered, I was fuelled by anger and hatred. My parents were too weak and too trusting and believed that kindness would put everyone in check. That exact notion got them killed. I was only 18, but I had killed a hundred times my age. Anyone who stood against my claims and my stance as the Supreme Alpha King was beheaded and put on a spike. I quelled the rebellion by myself. Something my parents could not do because they were too kind.

I admit the presence of a Lycan in me, made me cruel and heartless and I didn't mind but now, as I stood before the one who was created for me, the one who's soul i was meant to complete, the fear and the rejection in her eyes...

I regretted it.

For the first time in years.

Nox whimpered in the back of my head, I could feel the intensity of his emotions but I shut them out. Nox was primal, he only did what he thought was right and nine times out of ten, what he thought was right didn't sit with people morally, so I had to suppress him.

If I wanted her to love me which I so desired with the entirety of my being, I would do anything she wanted me to do, even if it meant I had to carve my own heart out and give it to her so she could be sure that I would never hurt her.

"Please,Angel," i begged, crossing the distance between us. She didn't move as i settled by the far edge of the bed, pushing the tray of apples and the peeling knife towards her. "I won;t come any closer."

She eyed the plate warily, reaching out to pull the tray closer to her. A sigh of relief escaped my lips. We were getting somewhere finally. I watched her with bated breath as she reached out to grab an apple, the fruit looked like quite bigger than normal in the grasp of her dainty palms.

I found myself mesmerized by her actions, the way she pushed her dark hair away from her face, her wide yet beautiful brown eyes scanned the apple warily, contemplating on whether to eat it or not. She curled closer to herself, her body didn't shake as vehemently as it did when i first walked in, she seemed to have calmed down a bit.

Maybe she wasn't so scared of me anymore.

The fragile state of tranquility we had barely managed to achieve shattered right before my eyes the moment she reached for the knife with urgency, discarding the apple to the side. I immediately reached for her hand but she had already pressed the knife to her neck, attempting to slash at her throat. At the threat to her life, i had almost lost all regard towards her fragile state and i launched myself at her, the tray of apples clattering to the side.

She sobbed under me as i tried to pry the knife from her fingers as gently as possible without hurting her in the process. "Please, angel. Let go of the knife. "

"P..please, let me die" She whimpered in pain, large bout of tears dropping from the corner of her eyes as she lay under me, her fingers still wrapped tightly around the hilt of the knife but i had her hands pressed to the bed on either side of her.

Her little body shook with tremors as she sobbed, her voice raw with pain and frustration, bringing tears to my eyes.

"I'm sorry," i whispered as i gathered her into my arms, "Forgive me."

She pushed at my chest but i refused to let go, hoping to send her a little bit of comfort through my embrace.

"Why?" She whispered after a few seconds, exhaustion creeping into her voice.

I pulled away from her, glancing into her eyes as if trying to read meaning to her question.

"Why are you keeping me here?" Her voice cracked in pain ,"I'm of no use to you. I can't be your queen. I'm useless, Just let me die in peace. "

I answered in a heartbeat, the words tumbling out of my mouth naturally, "I love you, Cassie."

Her brows furrow in annoyance, a snarl setting deep into her features."Liar." Her palm flew with great might and before i could speak further to try and convince her, a sharp pain spread across my chest.

Our eyes both flicker down slowly, settling on the knife that imbedded itself deep into my chest, her fingers wrapped confidently around its hilt.

Immediately, her gaze flickers back to mine, her anger replaced with a different kind of fear.

She was scared for me, not of me.