"Where are you off to?" Portia acted like my going out on a Friday night was peculiar. A year ago, it would have been; this year, not so much. "To Jamison Hart's house for a party." I stared in the bathroom mirror while Portia watched me from the doorway inside my bedroom."You should go with him, sweetheart. You don't want to sit here all night with your dad and me." I hadn't realized Hensley had joined us. I poked my head past Portia to see what my foster mother was doing, only to find her putting away laundry and smoothing out the wrinkles on my bed."It's okay. I don't want to intrude.""Nonsense. I'm sure Jude would love to have you go with him. Isn't that right, Jude?" Hensley hadn't bothered to pick up her head to look our direction. She just talked as she worked her way around my room.I shrugged when I faced Portia. "Yeah, why not? You can go if you want.""Wow, with that welcome invitation, how could I resist?" She folded her arms over her chest. Playfully,
I followed behind Ethan as he trailed Carson. There were a handful of people here I didn't recognize, which was always the case at Jamison's. Even though there was only one high school in the county, he had friends that lived a town over. I'd never bothered to learn any of their names since they'd never shown the slightest bit of interest in us. I was pretty good about keeping to myself. Even though Carson and Ethan had found their footing in the social world, I still preferred to keep my head down.I'd never figured out how Jamison got away with having these gatherings. I'd asked him several times if his parents smoked, and he'd always told me no. They were social drinkers, but that was the extent of their deviance. Yet when I asked how they didn't know people spent the weekend smoking pot in their living room, he'd just shrug and flip his hair out of his face. Jamison was perpetually high. I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen him when his eyes weren't glassy and bloodshot-may
I smacked him hard against the chest, and he flinched at the blow. "What happened to her not knowing, dumbass? How the hell am I going to get this past her? She's going to blow a gasket."About that time, Melanie Pratt dropped down onto the couch between Jamison and me. I'd known her most of my life. She was nice enough, kind of a drifter. Melanie had friends in every social circle, which meant she didn't belong to one and was accepted in them all. It was no secret she had an affinity for Jamison, although over the last few weeks I'd started to believe her interest was more in his stash of recreational substances than the man himself. Tonight seemed to be no different. But one look at her, and I knew there was no chance of my hiding from Portia. If I looked half as blitzed as Melanie did, I might as well have a sign with a flashing arrow pointing at me. Just as I was about to comment, Melanie dropped one hand on my wrist and one on Jamison's. Each one of her nails lightly stroked
"Are you fucking kidding me with this shit, Portia? What the hell is your problem?" I'd woken up filled with regret and the intention of making things right with Portia. The problem was, by the time I got out of bed, took a shower, and felt human enough to form sentences, I was dehydrated. I'd screwed up. It didn't matter if I'd thought it was all in good fun or believed she wouldn't find out, much less be hurt by my actions. I loved Portia, and that should have trumped anything else I thought was going on last night. I didn't have a reason for why it didn't, only that it wouldn't happen again. I'd been ready to make that commitment and that apology until I had strolled into the kitchen-feeling like death-to find Ernie, Hensley, and Portia waiting to pounce."I did what I thought was in your best interest, Jude. And that was telling Mom and Dad." Portia tried to maintain her resolve, but she was seconds from breaking down."And you thought telling them I went to a party last
"Is Jude picking you up?" Jet stood across from me, packing her things for spring break. "No, Ernie and Hensley are. He's still doing his best to avoid me.""Have you two not talked since Christmas?" She spun around so quickly, her blond hair whipped around her body. Once her locks stopped, she plopped down on the bed, clearly stunned I hadn't talked to him in three months.I shrugged, embarrassed. "I've sent him text messages, which I get one-word answers to if he bothers to respond. And I've tried to call a few times, but he doesn't answer." I took a seat next to my bag on my mattress and let out a heavy sigh. "I shouldn't have told my parents-or at the very least, I should have talked to him when he was sober before I did. I overreacted."She reached across the small space between our bunks to touch my knee and bring my focus to her face. "You did what you thought was right."My brow rose in hope that she'd confirm I hadn't screwed up. "So, you would have done the same th
Jude had avoided me last night, and this morning, he'd done exactly what I predicted the moment we got into the car to make the three-and-a-half-hour drive from Carondale to Cape Cod-he put on his headphones and opened a book. Ernie and Hensley talked amongst themselves, so I got out my iPad and played word scramble until my eyes crossed.The four of us checked in to the quaint bed and breakfast Hensley had arranged, and even though I knew it was coming, I was still shocked when Ernie handed me a key to the room Jude and I would share for the next week-alone. I'd hoped I would be paired off with Hensley and Ernie and Jude could do the boy thing. I knew better. They'd been clear that they intended for us to find a way through the issue at Christmas, and while I was willing to do what it took, Jude held fast to resistance. The guy was stubborn as a mule and always had been. God almighty couldn't make Jude Thomas do something he wasn't inclined to do. I groaned as I walked down the h
We hadn't seen much of Hensley and Ernie since we got to Cape Cod. They stopped by or sent one of us a text message to let us know where they were or what they were doing, but either they were having their own romantic holiday, or they believed shoving Jude and me together was the solution to our problems. I never would have thought it would work, yet it had-maybe too well. In the two days we'd been here, we'd eaten dinner with them and that was about it. And even then, there were stolen touches and secretive glances. My mom was clearly proud of herself and her plan for forced isolation, although she didn't realize what those secretive glances between Jude and me actually meant. She had no idea the two of us were playing tonsil hockey in the room, or holding hands on the beach, or kissing when no one was watching. Jude and I hadn't talked about what was going on between us. We just let it happen on its own accord, and it was better than anything I'd ever experienced. He was safe-
Waking the next morning, I wondered if the previous night had been a dream. The heat of a body curled into my side confessed the truth. Portia's dark hair flowed in a river of black covering the arm I had wrapped around her, and my fingers danced on her bare skin. Every second of our time together was crystal clear, yet I couldn't quite bring myself to believe it was real. With her soft breaths prancing across my chest, I carefully lifted the comforter, verifying the two of us remained unclothed. Portia stirred with the intrusive draft from the cool air in the room, and her hand slid along my side. I peered down my nose to see the smile begin to form, and even though she didn't open her eyes, the corners of her mouth lifted in happiness. "Good morning," she cooed in a husky voice that made my dick twitch. Her fingers continued to explore my bare flesh until she cupped my ass in her hand and squeezed. A sensual groan of satisfaction parted my lips and carried a word with it. "M
The ceremony was a blur, at best. The only thing I recalled with any clarity was the boy I'd loved almost my entire life and the way he watched me as I approached. Long gone was the tall, lanky, awkward kid from my youth. In his place was a man with confidence. His smile was perfect, his tux was dapper, and he was virtually edible. Throughout our vows, he never took his eyes off mine, and he hadn't even tried to erase the sheer joy that overtook his features. I'd long since memorized every freckle on his skin, every streak of color in his irises, and every strand of hair on his head, but nothing had prepared me for the expression Jude wore as he committed his life to mine. Once it was over, and I was officially a Thomas, the world came back into focus. After the minister announced us as husband and wife, Jude and I started across the lawn toward the bed and breakfast. It was then that I noticed two empty seats amongst the six in the audience. Hensley had insisted on doing something
Sunday afternoon came faster than either of us wanted. Three days hadn't been nearly enough time to reconnect, and even though I'd made myself sick on lemon pie, saying goodbye proved to be painful. I'd give anything to freeze time in that hotel room with the dessert tin between us, forks in hand, simply enjoying each other's company and catching up as we shoved pie in our mouths.Standing in the airport, I held Portia's face and softly kissed her. "Don't cry, babe. It's only a couple of weeks," I whispered with my forehead pressed against hers.Her eyes were bloodshot, and no amount of consoling would change her anguish. It was inevitable-her displeasure and our circumstances. She had exams to finish, and I had to fulfill a two-week notice at the bookstore. We'd be back together in no time; however, having spent the majority of a year apart, those weeks seemed unjust. A harsh penalty neither of us wanted to serve. "I don't want to go." Portia's whimpered words tore at my heart.
I got dressed and tossed her backpack on my shoulder, and together, we set out. Portia held my hand as we walked down the street, and she carried the pie in the other. We didn't speak, but her thumb caressed the top of my hand and spoke a language all its own. Ever since we were kids, she'd done it to reassure and calm me, and now I was grateful for all those years so I understood its quiet meaning. It wasn't the Ritz Carlton, but I wasn't Donald Trump. The hotel was within walking distance, didn't charge by the hour, and most importantly, didn't ask for ID, so I was sold. Portia set the pie on the nightstand, along with the two forks I'd grabbed on our way out the door. I set down her bag, and it dawned on me that I hadn't brought anything of my own. Not that it mattered. I just wanted time with the girl I'd seen every night in my dreams yet hadn't been able to touch. She sat on the mattress and peered up at me with large, curious eyes. I didn't move, and I wasn't sure how to proc
The knock after eleven at night startled me. I figured Carson or Ethan left their keys at home, locking themselves out. I didn't bother glancing through the peephole. Instead, I kept my nose rooted in the book I was reading, disengaged the deadbolt, and then grabbed the knob. I didn't take notice of who stood on the other side when I flung it open, and I returned to my place on the couch.The weight of the metal latching itself in place resounded through the apartment. After sitting down, I realized neither of them had come inside. Irritated by the disruption-and ready to fire off a smart-ass comment about one of them needing an escort or an invitation-I ripped back the door.And every thought fled my mind. If I'd been asleep, then I would have believed I was dreaming. As it stood, the vision before me was as real as the book I'd thrown on the sofa. My Adam's apple bobbed in painful exaggeration as I swallowed back my surprise. There. Within arm's reach. Stood Portia Sh
June was too far away. There was no way I was willing to wait for Jude Thomas to show up on my parents' porch and see him again for the first time with an audience. It just wasn't going to happen. Consequences be damned. Without their knowledge, I booked a flight using their credit card and found a way home. "Hey, sweetheart. What are you doing here?" My mom stuck her head out and looked around. "And why are you ringing the bell?" I didn't bother with any pleasantries. "I didn't want to alarm you by coming home during the week unexpectedly." I pushed by her, and she shut the door behind me. The kitchen was the place we did our best talking, and that's where I headed without further fanfare. "Where's Dad?"Her tense expression and creased forehead articulated her confusion and concern, although she didn't question me anymore. "Ernie?" She dashed to the bottom of the stairs, leaving me on the bar stool. "Ernie, can you come down here?"The heavy clump of his feet on the steps s
There was a huge tree just behind campus that typically went unoccupied and far enough away from the bustle of the crowd that I could escape. I didn't have a clue what I was getting myself into, and I didn't want to be exposed to onlookers or passersby. I trotted across campus, through the quad, and past the bookstore. When people attempted to stop me to talk, I waved and said hello, but I kept the course to my destination. As I'd hoped, there was no one around. I unzipped my backpack and took out the blanket I'd packed, careful not to accidentally toss the journal on the ground. There wasn't anything ornate or special about the cover itself, although I was certain it had been expensive. The leather was soft like suede yet worn like a jacket. While I assumed it was new, it appeared aged. The words on the pages screamed at me to read them, but even if Jude hadn't written what was inside, I'd still covet the book for its beauty.Once I settled onto the blanket, I grabbed the noteboo
Jet flew into our dorm room with her usual dramatic flair. "Mail call." Her lyrical voice tumbled into the room, and she followed. It was clear she didn't plan to stay when she left the door open, tossed a few envelopes on her desk, and held a package in my direction.I sat up and swung my legs over the edge of my bed. "What's that?"I never got mail. Everything I received went to my parents' house, and I didn't get care boxes because I went home often enough for Hensley to load me up with baked goods to tide me over for weeks.Jet snatched the thick packet back and held it against her chest like a treasure. "It's from California," she teased and then wisely handed it over.An uneasy feeling landed squarely in the pit of my stomach. Butterflies didn't flutter; vultures swarmed. I'd no sooner taken the parcel than the greedy bastards started pecking away at my insides-starting with my heart.My roomie's expression softened, and the emotion she held for me was written all over
Spending Thanksgiving alone hadn't been all that bad. Christmas was torture. The Shaws sent me a box of presents, and I opened them by myself on the morning of the twenty-fifth. Somehow, they'd managed to package the scent of their home and mail it to California. As soon as I had unfolded the cardboard, the familiar smell rolled out in waves. It was the first time I'd missed home since I'd left. I'd longed for Portia, but I'd talked to Ernie and Hensley enough that their absence didn't seem any different than it had when I lived with my mom. There were times I'd go long stretches without seeing them, although not often.I hadn't been able to unwrap a single package for nearly an hour. And when I finally regained my composure, every piece of paper I tore, tape I removed, and ribbon I untied, took me further into longing. Even though I wasn't sure I was ready to go back just yet, that box convinced me that there was nothing I wanted more. With the last gift opened, I stared at the bott
"What the hell are you doing?" I snatched my journal from the hands of a nosy co-worker.She shrugged and contorted her face into an expression of equal indifference. "Just wondering what you spend so much time working on."I tucked the notebook into my backpack and slammed the locker. When I turned around, Lacy wore the same unbothered look. "So, you went through my locker, dug it out, and just thought you'd have a look around my private thoughts?"Lacy pulled out a chair from the table and placed herself in it with more fanfare than called for. "We work in a bookstore. Do you know how many people here are writing the next great American novel?" She paused, waiting for my answer. When she didn't get one, she popped a grape into her mouth and continued. "All of them. Including the ones who run the place." "And how does that justify breaking and entering?" I didn't have a clue what she'd read, or how deep into my thoughts she had been able to dig. My heart lay fully exposed on