Jude had avoided me last night, and this morning, he'd done exactly what I predicted the moment we got into the car to make the three-and-a-half-hour drive from Carondale to Cape Cod-he put on his headphones and opened a book. Ernie and Hensley talked amongst themselves, so I got out my iPad and played word scramble until my eyes crossed.The four of us checked in to the quaint bed and breakfast Hensley had arranged, and even though I knew it was coming, I was still shocked when Ernie handed me a key to the room Jude and I would share for the next week-alone. I'd hoped I would be paired off with Hensley and Ernie and Jude could do the boy thing. I knew better. They'd been clear that they intended for us to find a way through the issue at Christmas, and while I was willing to do what it took, Jude held fast to resistance. The guy was stubborn as a mule and always had been. God almighty couldn't make Jude Thomas do something he wasn't inclined to do. I groaned as I walked down the h
We hadn't seen much of Hensley and Ernie since we got to Cape Cod. They stopped by or sent one of us a text message to let us know where they were or what they were doing, but either they were having their own romantic holiday, or they believed shoving Jude and me together was the solution to our problems. I never would have thought it would work, yet it had-maybe too well. In the two days we'd been here, we'd eaten dinner with them and that was about it. And even then, there were stolen touches and secretive glances. My mom was clearly proud of herself and her plan for forced isolation, although she didn't realize what those secretive glances between Jude and me actually meant. She had no idea the two of us were playing tonsil hockey in the room, or holding hands on the beach, or kissing when no one was watching. Jude and I hadn't talked about what was going on between us. We just let it happen on its own accord, and it was better than anything I'd ever experienced. He was safe-
Waking the next morning, I wondered if the previous night had been a dream. The heat of a body curled into my side confessed the truth. Portia's dark hair flowed in a river of black covering the arm I had wrapped around her, and my fingers danced on her bare skin. Every second of our time together was crystal clear, yet I couldn't quite bring myself to believe it was real. With her soft breaths prancing across my chest, I carefully lifted the comforter, verifying the two of us remained unclothed. Portia stirred with the intrusive draft from the cool air in the room, and her hand slid along my side. I peered down my nose to see the smile begin to form, and even though she didn't open her eyes, the corners of her mouth lifted in happiness. "Good morning," she cooed in a husky voice that made my dick twitch. Her fingers continued to explore my bare flesh until she cupped my ass in her hand and squeezed. A sensual groan of satisfaction parted my lips and carried a word with it. "M
We met Ernie and Hensley downstairs in the living room, which served as a makeshift lobby for the bed and breakfast. They both had on jackets, indicating we were going out for brunch. Ernie grabbed my shoulder with a smile and then directed his affection toward Portia, scooping her into a hug. When they separated, he beamed. "Glad to see you two have worked things out and are on speaking terms again."Hensley stood from her seat and clapped her hands together and then held them in a prayer in front of her mouth. "I knew this would be the perfect thing for you to mend your relationship. Siblings should never squabble, much less for months." Her smile grew behind her fingers, and then she dropped her hands to her side. I cringed at her mention of the word siblings and wondered how Portia and I would ever break this to them or go public. Over the years, I'd made numerous comments about her not being my sister, just not enough to the two people who mattered. And as long as I'd love
"Do you think Hensley saw us?" Portia craned her neck, peering around my shoulder. "If she had, she wouldn't have kept walking." I could see the thrum of Portia's anxious heartbeat in the vein that ran along her neck. I'd be worried if she weren't grinning from ear to ear. Her fingers dug into my sides as she practically climbed my body to bring my face low enough for her to reclaim my lips. I'd learned quickly over the last four days that Portia was big into public displays of affection. There was no doubt the two of us were together, and to anyone we encountered it appeared we had been for ages. We'd held hands all over town, taken a couple of little day trips to see shit neither of us cared about as an excuse to have time away from Ernie and Hensley, and even if they were around, we found ways to sneak in stolen kisses and quick glances. Part of me worried if the thrill of hiding from them held the appeal for Portia.I pulled away from her kiss, distracted by my thoughts, as
It was what he said, how he said it, the way he kissed me before he admitted he'd already made plans for our future. It might have been naïve to believe that two foster kids who'd been to hell and back could end up with a happily ever after that included each other, but it was a dream I wanted to fall into head first. There was no resistance on his part when I linked my arm in his and redirected us back to our bed and breakfast. I'd rather hold his hand, but if we ran into Ernie and Hensley, us being arm in arm wouldn't rouse any suspicion. By the time we climbed the steps into the B&B, the quick pace back had left us winded. We hadn't seen or heard from my parents since lunch, and my best guess was they were off touring lighthouses or something equally as boring, which would allow us several hours before they would expect to have dinner. I planned to enjoy every minute.Jude closed the door to our room and engaged the lock. The moment he faced me, my fingers worked the zipper on
Neither of us took into consideration how hard the separation would be, much less how difficult keeping our relationship a secret would be. When I got back to school, Jet honed in on the difference in my attitude before I'd left compared to when I returned, and I couldn't give her anything other than Jude and I had worked through our differences. I had to sneak phone calls to him and change my tone when she walked in the room. But it was the physical loss of not having him near that was the hardest to deal with. She'd gone to class, leaving me in our room alone. I was biding my time until I could call Jude. As soon as I was certain he wasn't at school, I unlocked my phone and touched his name on my favorites list. "Hey, babe." Those two words uttered from his mouth in a deep, rich baritone released my frustration and warmed my heart. I never thought I'd crave hearing a common term of endearment, but something in his inflection, the casual way he said it, and how the words hit
At Jude's request, we celebrated his birthday at the diner where his mom had worked when he was growing up. And when the dishes had been cleared, one of the older waitresses, who'd known him since he was a child, brought out what appeared to be the entire staff to corral around our table. Together, they sang "Happy Birthday" behind a lemon pie with one lone candle burning brightly in the center of the whipped cream. When they were done, she set the pie in front of him, and he blew out the flame. His eyes glistened, but tears never formed. The lady leaned down and whispered something in his ear. He grinned when she patted his shoulder. I had worried that being here would set off emotions he wouldn't be able or ready to handle, but he soared through the night beautifully and appeared happy.As we left the diner, I snuggled against his side. The smell of cedar and citrus wafted around me in a hug as tight as his actual embrace. And when he held the door open for me to walk through, h
The ceremony was a blur, at best. The only thing I recalled with any clarity was the boy I'd loved almost my entire life and the way he watched me as I approached. Long gone was the tall, lanky, awkward kid from my youth. In his place was a man with confidence. His smile was perfect, his tux was dapper, and he was virtually edible. Throughout our vows, he never took his eyes off mine, and he hadn't even tried to erase the sheer joy that overtook his features. I'd long since memorized every freckle on his skin, every streak of color in his irises, and every strand of hair on his head, but nothing had prepared me for the expression Jude wore as he committed his life to mine. Once it was over, and I was officially a Thomas, the world came back into focus. After the minister announced us as husband and wife, Jude and I started across the lawn toward the bed and breakfast. It was then that I noticed two empty seats amongst the six in the audience. Hensley had insisted on doing something
Sunday afternoon came faster than either of us wanted. Three days hadn't been nearly enough time to reconnect, and even though I'd made myself sick on lemon pie, saying goodbye proved to be painful. I'd give anything to freeze time in that hotel room with the dessert tin between us, forks in hand, simply enjoying each other's company and catching up as we shoved pie in our mouths.Standing in the airport, I held Portia's face and softly kissed her. "Don't cry, babe. It's only a couple of weeks," I whispered with my forehead pressed against hers.Her eyes were bloodshot, and no amount of consoling would change her anguish. It was inevitable-her displeasure and our circumstances. She had exams to finish, and I had to fulfill a two-week notice at the bookstore. We'd be back together in no time; however, having spent the majority of a year apart, those weeks seemed unjust. A harsh penalty neither of us wanted to serve. "I don't want to go." Portia's whimpered words tore at my heart.
I got dressed and tossed her backpack on my shoulder, and together, we set out. Portia held my hand as we walked down the street, and she carried the pie in the other. We didn't speak, but her thumb caressed the top of my hand and spoke a language all its own. Ever since we were kids, she'd done it to reassure and calm me, and now I was grateful for all those years so I understood its quiet meaning. It wasn't the Ritz Carlton, but I wasn't Donald Trump. The hotel was within walking distance, didn't charge by the hour, and most importantly, didn't ask for ID, so I was sold. Portia set the pie on the nightstand, along with the two forks I'd grabbed on our way out the door. I set down her bag, and it dawned on me that I hadn't brought anything of my own. Not that it mattered. I just wanted time with the girl I'd seen every night in my dreams yet hadn't been able to touch. She sat on the mattress and peered up at me with large, curious eyes. I didn't move, and I wasn't sure how to proc
The knock after eleven at night startled me. I figured Carson or Ethan left their keys at home, locking themselves out. I didn't bother glancing through the peephole. Instead, I kept my nose rooted in the book I was reading, disengaged the deadbolt, and then grabbed the knob. I didn't take notice of who stood on the other side when I flung it open, and I returned to my place on the couch.The weight of the metal latching itself in place resounded through the apartment. After sitting down, I realized neither of them had come inside. Irritated by the disruption-and ready to fire off a smart-ass comment about one of them needing an escort or an invitation-I ripped back the door.And every thought fled my mind. If I'd been asleep, then I would have believed I was dreaming. As it stood, the vision before me was as real as the book I'd thrown on the sofa. My Adam's apple bobbed in painful exaggeration as I swallowed back my surprise. There. Within arm's reach. Stood Portia Sh
June was too far away. There was no way I was willing to wait for Jude Thomas to show up on my parents' porch and see him again for the first time with an audience. It just wasn't going to happen. Consequences be damned. Without their knowledge, I booked a flight using their credit card and found a way home. "Hey, sweetheart. What are you doing here?" My mom stuck her head out and looked around. "And why are you ringing the bell?" I didn't bother with any pleasantries. "I didn't want to alarm you by coming home during the week unexpectedly." I pushed by her, and she shut the door behind me. The kitchen was the place we did our best talking, and that's where I headed without further fanfare. "Where's Dad?"Her tense expression and creased forehead articulated her confusion and concern, although she didn't question me anymore. "Ernie?" She dashed to the bottom of the stairs, leaving me on the bar stool. "Ernie, can you come down here?"The heavy clump of his feet on the steps s
There was a huge tree just behind campus that typically went unoccupied and far enough away from the bustle of the crowd that I could escape. I didn't have a clue what I was getting myself into, and I didn't want to be exposed to onlookers or passersby. I trotted across campus, through the quad, and past the bookstore. When people attempted to stop me to talk, I waved and said hello, but I kept the course to my destination. As I'd hoped, there was no one around. I unzipped my backpack and took out the blanket I'd packed, careful not to accidentally toss the journal on the ground. There wasn't anything ornate or special about the cover itself, although I was certain it had been expensive. The leather was soft like suede yet worn like a jacket. While I assumed it was new, it appeared aged. The words on the pages screamed at me to read them, but even if Jude hadn't written what was inside, I'd still covet the book for its beauty.Once I settled onto the blanket, I grabbed the noteboo
Jet flew into our dorm room with her usual dramatic flair. "Mail call." Her lyrical voice tumbled into the room, and she followed. It was clear she didn't plan to stay when she left the door open, tossed a few envelopes on her desk, and held a package in my direction.I sat up and swung my legs over the edge of my bed. "What's that?"I never got mail. Everything I received went to my parents' house, and I didn't get care boxes because I went home often enough for Hensley to load me up with baked goods to tide me over for weeks.Jet snatched the thick packet back and held it against her chest like a treasure. "It's from California," she teased and then wisely handed it over.An uneasy feeling landed squarely in the pit of my stomach. Butterflies didn't flutter; vultures swarmed. I'd no sooner taken the parcel than the greedy bastards started pecking away at my insides-starting with my heart.My roomie's expression softened, and the emotion she held for me was written all over
Spending Thanksgiving alone hadn't been all that bad. Christmas was torture. The Shaws sent me a box of presents, and I opened them by myself on the morning of the twenty-fifth. Somehow, they'd managed to package the scent of their home and mail it to California. As soon as I had unfolded the cardboard, the familiar smell rolled out in waves. It was the first time I'd missed home since I'd left. I'd longed for Portia, but I'd talked to Ernie and Hensley enough that their absence didn't seem any different than it had when I lived with my mom. There were times I'd go long stretches without seeing them, although not often.I hadn't been able to unwrap a single package for nearly an hour. And when I finally regained my composure, every piece of paper I tore, tape I removed, and ribbon I untied, took me further into longing. Even though I wasn't sure I was ready to go back just yet, that box convinced me that there was nothing I wanted more. With the last gift opened, I stared at the bott
"What the hell are you doing?" I snatched my journal from the hands of a nosy co-worker.She shrugged and contorted her face into an expression of equal indifference. "Just wondering what you spend so much time working on."I tucked the notebook into my backpack and slammed the locker. When I turned around, Lacy wore the same unbothered look. "So, you went through my locker, dug it out, and just thought you'd have a look around my private thoughts?"Lacy pulled out a chair from the table and placed herself in it with more fanfare than called for. "We work in a bookstore. Do you know how many people here are writing the next great American novel?" She paused, waiting for my answer. When she didn't get one, she popped a grape into her mouth and continued. "All of them. Including the ones who run the place." "And how does that justify breaking and entering?" I didn't have a clue what she'd read, or how deep into my thoughts she had been able to dig. My heart lay fully exposed on