CHAPTER 5

The Barkley Diner was run by Henry and Elena Barkley. Back in the 1960's, they were a young couple with big dreams. Both had grown up with mothers who were cooks in a sanatorium for soldiers convalescing from World War II. It was fate that they met with such same interests in food. It was good fortune that their love bled well into their business. And even as the diner passed on to the next generation, business continued well and it had become a staple for folks of Huntsfield University. All the students treated it like home, somewhere they can always expect to have a warm meal. Gary thought it was a perfect spot for them to meet Rowena. Like the good old days.

"She's late," Jason said. He said it with a mix of doubt and worry.

Richard and Helga shook their heads.

"It's only been seventeen minutes," Richard pointed out.

"I believe in our dear Rowena," Helga said with a gentle voice.

Gary quietly kept his gaze outside the windows. He had arrived a whole hour earlier, completely rushing down after work, still in his white-striped gray suit. He picked out a booth beside the windows and near the entrance, hoping to get a good view of everything. He would flinch every time someone arrived and be quickly disappointed when it wasn't Rowena. When all the other three had arrived, he never looked away from the window, chin in his hand with his elbow resting on the table.

What would he even say? What would she say? A small part of him always clung to the notion that he'd see Rowena one day.

Gary was about to get lost in his thoughts when a black SUV parked right by the street outside the window. A petite woman climbed down, her back against his view. Her jet black hair was fell straight behind her shoulders. She wore a maroon, long-sleeved turtle neck and a pair of black denim pants. Gary's hand fell from his chin unto the table as he straightened his back in eagerness. His gaze followed the woman walk all the way up until she entered the diner. The woman looked around for a bit and then their eyes met.

"Rowena," Gary said a little above a whisper.

The three others looked at him, trying to decide if they heard right. Then they turned to follow his gaze behind them.

"Rowena!" Helga immediately stood up from her seat and went to embrace her.

Rowena looked a bit uncomfortable but seemed to hug her back out of politeness. Helga then led her to their booth. Jason and Gary had been sitting together on one side of the booth, while Helga and Richard were on the other side.

"Vännen, please move further down so our dear Rowena can sit." Helga tried to push her fiancé by scooting to the other side of their seat. Richard looked flustered but seemed to comply.

Rowena just stood there and looked around. Gary immediately caught on, stood up himself, and grabbed the diner chair from the table next to theirs.

"Here," he courteously helped her be seated at the head of the table.

"Oh, thanks," she said and sat down awkwardly.

Gary also sat back down. Now all eyes were on her.

She fidgeted a bit then took a breath. "So..." she began. "This is really an interrogation..."

"No," Richard quickly said. "Of course not, Ro. We just really want to focus on you and everything that you have to say."

Rowena bowed down her head a bit and looked down on her lap, feeling like a kid about to get a scolding. Everyone didn't say anything for a while.

"Who's with your daughter?" Jason asked to ease the tension.

Rowena still hadn't looked up and rubbed her arm. "She's with my neighbor."

The silence was starting to feel unbearable. It was obvious that talking about things was easier said than done. But Gary knew that it was now or never. Rowena was finally here, in front of them. Truly like the good old days.

"I—" Gary began to say. But he stopped and swallowed the lump in his throat. "We missed you."

"We really did, Rowena," Jason spoke up.

They weren't the closest of friends, but he meant it. And it seemed Rowena could tell. She finally looked up. She glanced at each one of them, eyes falling on Gary last but the briefest.

"Okay," she took a deep breath. "First and foremost, I'm sorry."

No one replied and waited for her to go on.

"I know it was uncalled for. I know it's hard for you guys to forgive me. Trust me, I haven't forgiven myself either. It wasn't because of... anyone. It really was just me. It was all of me. I was just really unhappy about myself."

Rowena paused and looked at Gary. For a moment, he felt like it was the only two of them. He wanted to say something but she turned away and continued to speak.

"So, I'm here to apologize. But none of you have to accept it. I came because I believe you all deserve an explanation—"

"Is there anything I can get for you all now?" A large woman in her mid-forties with blond curls wearing the diner's waitress uniform came up to their table with a notepad and pen. She seemed personable enough. But this was her third time to return to the table to ask for orders. And Gary lost it.

"Goddammit!" He raised his voice. "We don't want anything yet! We'll tell you when we call for you!"

A few other customers that were nearby looked their way. Gary immediately realized what he had done when he saw the alarmed look on the waitress' face and could feel the stares of the rest of his friends. He swallowed.

"I-I'm sorry," he said. "That was very rude of me. We'll give our orders."

The others cleared their throats and gave their orders one by one, even Rowena ordered. The waitress suddenly turned quite robotic, probably hurt and embarrassed by what happened. She repeated their orders and immediately left for the kitchen.

But it was Gary who felt the most embarrassed.

"Sorry," he said again, this time addressing the entire group. "I-I just wanted to listen to Rowena."

She gave him a small smile which felt like a sign of appreciation.

Then she sighed and continued. "After graduation, everything felt... good." She paused, looking around the table at them once again. "I felt really happy. Everything fell into place. But... at that time, it suddenly felt like it was too good to be true. Growing up, I've learned that nothing lasts forever and everything isn't what it seems. I just kept thinking that something bad was going to happen. One night... that night... in our trip... I just couldn't... sleep."

Rowena paused. She swallowed and began to take slow but deep breaths.

It was obvious that she was starting to get uneasy from remembering everything. The others started to tense up, worried about her disposition. Gary worried the most and immediately raised his hand to get the attention of a server.

"Excuse me!" he called out. "Could get a glass of water over here!"

One of the waiters arrived and placed glasses for everyone. Rowena drank hers and seemed to be refreshed.

"I'm sorry," Rowena said as she placed her almost empty glass on the table.

Everyone was quiet for a while.

"We're all sorry," Richard broke the silence.

"I panicked," She said. "I just... panicked..."

An overwhelming sense to reach out to Rowena—to touch her—came over Gary. He was about to reach out his hand, but she suddenly tucked a few stray strands of her hair behind her ear and ultimately placed her hands on her lap. Gary cleared his throat, hoping no one had noticed his hand, and casually retracted it.

"I just panicked," Rowena repeated. She exhaled and this time with much more conviction, "I was overwhelmed. I've never had it that good before and I didn't know what to do with myself."

Then she turned to Gary and with the utmost sincerity said, "I'm sorry, Gary."

He gasped, and for a moment, held his breath as they gazed at each other. He looked into her deep blue eyes and their years together—their relationship flashed before him. This was a woman whom he loved, and who loved him, who had gone through so much. She didn't know how to deal with the things she actually deserved, with happiness and security.

Rowena turned to the others. "I'm sorry, Richard. I'm sorry, Helga. I'm sorry, Jason."

Everyone then looked at each other then back at her, each one apologizing in return.

"Ro," Gary then spoke up and gave a soft smile. "We're just glad you're okay."

At that moment, all the hurt and tension seemed to fade away. Rowena finally smiled.

"Gary, I—" She began to say, but was cut off when their food came to the table.

Everyone suddenly got distracted by the food since it brought back so many memories from their days at the university. They suddenly realized that it was the first time they went back to the diner after all those years ago. They began reminiscing and sharing memories back and forth. Rowena found herself chiming in a bit and even Helga shared hers even if she had only stayed for a semester. Laughs and chuckles were exchanged, as well as pleasant sighs.

"So what have you been up to, Rowena?" Jason asked.

"Oh," Rowena set down her fork. "I-I'm actually an Arts History teacher in Glenmont Public High School. But I'm hoping to get a teaching position at Glenmont University."

"Wow, that's impressive," Richard complimented.

"What about you guys? What's everyone doing now?" Rowena genuinely inquired.

"Well," Richard combed back his hair. "Helga and I are engaged."

"Yes, dear Rowena! We are betrothed! Oh, please do come to the wedding!" Helga grabbed her hands and gave them a squeeze.

Rowena was taken aback but she nodded. "I'd be honored."

"I'm in minor league baseball, trying to get into the major league," Jason brought up. Then he nudged Gary's rib. "And our joker over here is finally a lawyer! Man, Ro, you should've seen him in law school—" Jason suddenly winced in pain.

Unbeknownst to the others, Gary had actually stepped on his foot under the table to shut him up. Jason cleared his throat and said nothing, realizing that it wasn't something his best friend wanted to talk about.

Rowena looked surprised. "You really did go to law school?" She asked but there was no hint of malice or teasing in her voice.

Gary rubbed the back of his neck and gave a slightly sheepish smile. "Uh," he said. "Yeah. I did."

Rowena just nodded and gave a small smile.

There was a moment of silence.

"But you!" Gary suddenly blurted out. "You're a mom now! Who's the father? I-I mean, uh, you're... you're married! T-That's great!"

"My darling friend, yes tell us all about your family!" Helga clapped.

Rowena bit her lower lip and looked down on her food and said nothing. "I-I'm not married..."

Gary suddenly felt a shock course through his body. What could she mean? She wasn't married? Is she divorced? Did the baby's father leave her? Was she... Was she... Gary felt a fit of sudden anger come over him. "What?" He said almost in a shout. "What do you mean you're not married? Then Hope is—"

Jason had accidentally bumped Gary's head with his elbow, which made him stop talking, distracted by the pain.

"Hey!" Gary turned to him, ready to fight.

Jason just widened his eyes at him.

Gary realized what he had done and turned back to Rowena.

"Ro, I didn't mean—" He wanted to explain.

"No, no!" Rowena said quickly. "Hope... She's... born out of wedlock. B-But I'm engaged to her father. She was unplanned. We're just not in a rush to get married."

The group gasped. Then they began to congratulate her.

"Oh, Rowena! Where is your ring, then?" Helga innocently asked. "Let us delight in each other's rings! We are engaged at the same time!"

"I-I didn't wear it... Sometimes I'm afraid it would get lost," Rowena pressed her lips together.

Gary fell silent. He suddenly felt overwhelmed with different kinds of emotions. Looking at her, hearing that she was engaged, and realizing she had a family made him happy and sad at the same time. This had been a woman, at one point, he thought he would spend his life with. But now, things were all different. None of the things they—he had dreamed happened. Their lives moved on in different directions.

Rowena smiled softly. The same smile that he loved those years ago. Their eyes suddenly met. He realized then that, no matter what happened, Rowena's happiness would always be one of the most important things to him.

"I'm..." He began to say. He cleared his throat then sighed. With confidence, he said, "I'm happy for you, Rowena. Congratulations."