CHAPTER SIX

I know things are serious once I realize we’re heading straight towards Sebastian’s cabin.

Okay, I’m not stupid. I knew things were serious before then too. But Sebastian doesn’t allow just anyone into his home. Not until we’re married and properly mated. That’s his space to clear his mind and do whatever alphas do.

He knows though that no one will dare interrupt us there. No one steps inside unless they’re invited.

He wants privacy, but why? What does he plan to do to me? Will he take Jasmine’s advice? Is this the end of my life?

Death. I never thought about death that much before. I’m still young. It’s something that’s always seemed so far away. Now though…

“Let’s go,” Sebastian says as he opens the door. I hesitate.

“Sebastian, I just…”

“Inside,” he orders. “Right now.”

I want to plead for Lance’s life. I want to plead for my own life. Everyone knows you have to listen to an alpha though, so I step inside.

If I wasn’t coming in here wondering about my fate, I’d probably be more impressed. It’s decked out in shades of gold and red while maintaining an earthy, forest type of feel. Werewolf royalty.

“How could you do this?” he growls, snapping my mind back to the moment. He turns those eyes on me and it seems like they penetrate through any lies I might be inclined to tell, leaving only the raw, honest truth between us.

“A rouge?” he asks, his voice rising. “Really? Please, tell me it isn’t true. Tell me my mate hasn’t betrayed us like that.”

I want to tell him anything he wants to hear, but I can’t. He’s the alpha for a reason. His presence invokes a sense of obedience and loyalty.

“Did you kiss him?” he asks, stepping so close to me I can practically feel his heated breath. I notice something in him. He’s not just angry. He’s hurt.

“No,” I answer. His posture loosens slightly.

“Did you want to?” His voice is much lower now, softer. I see a hint of his vulnerability. He desperately wants me to tell him I didn’t want to just Lance, that I love him.

I can’t face his gaze.

“Yes.”

Though I whisper the word, it’s loud enough to tear through the whole room, destroying everything it touches.

“Why?” he demands, his voice rising again. “He’s a rouge! Why would you want to kiss him? Why are you like this when you have me?”

“I don’t know!”

That’s the truth of it. In the woods with Lance, everything felt so sure, so clear. I needed to be with Lance. I was convinced he was my mate.

Now, with Sebastian, that certainty is fading. How do I really know if Lance is my mate or if Sebastian is? I haven’t turned eighteen yet. It’s harder to know anything for sure right now.

“You can have the most prized position in the pack,” Sebastian says. “It’s what all the women here want. You know how many of them would give up everything to marry me?”

“I know,” I answer. “I’m well aware of that. Being with you offers me so much. It’ll bring our packs together. You are so wonderful. We could have a wonderful life together I just…”

“You just what?”

“I just…” I look up at his eyes that stun the words right out of me. He is wonderful. He is beautiful. I know I shouldn’t give this up. It’s crazy to even think about but…

“I don’t know,” I admit.

“How could you not know?” He throws his hands up in frustration and turns to lean against the wall. His fists clench as he tries to control his anger.

Power radiates off him. It stings me, being this close to him when he’s like this. It’s hard not to change my mind when he’s so close. Can I really give him up? Do I want to even try?

Sebastian turns back to look at me. He steps closer to me than ever and I panic. What is he going to do to me? Have I pushed him too far? Is he going to kill me too?

I back up against the wall until there’s nowhere else to go. All I’m left to do is face him, my mate. Who might be my mate. Who might not be my mate.

“Tell me you love me,” Sebastian says softly, in a way that’s unexpectedly gentle.

“I don’t know yet,” I whisper. “I want to tell you that, but I can’t lie to you. You should know I’ll never lie to you. When I give you my heart, you’ll have it fully. When I say I love you, you’ll know I mean it. Right now though…”

“Right now, you don’t know,” he growls. He closes his eyes for a moment. When he reopens them, they’re full of fire.

“You can’t say you love me, but you almost go and kiss a rouge instead. I should have you banished from the pack, you know that, right? There have been plenty of people who’ve been banished for crimes not nearly as bad as this. You have been nothing by trouble since you got here.

“You’ve tested me. You won’t admit your love to me when any other woman would. We’re to be married soon. Married! And you’re off flirting with a rouge. I deserve so much better.”

Tears spring to my eyes because he’s right. He doesn’t deserve someone like this. I’ve let him down. I’ve let my family down. But if I lie to him right now, I’d be letting myself down. That’s one betrayal I can’t bring myself to.

“But I see that you can be better,” Sebastian continues. “And I know you’re my mate. We do stupid things for our mates sometimes. That connection is so incredible though, that it’s worth it.”

His eyes narrow on mine and I want to run.

“You better be worth it,” he warns. “I won’t play these games forever, Rachel. And I’m not about to watch you run off with a rouge. I will end you both before I allow that to happen.”

“I understand,” I say.

“Do you choose me?” he asks. “Is this you choosing me?”