Chapter 4: I wanna pray for her

***CADEN***

“Hey, young boy! We’re having dinner at mine. Would you love to come over? I don’t know if a city guy like you, would love to be invited to a country’s gatherings but you know tomorrow it’s Christmas and it’s an eve tonight. We are inviting everyone around and don’t want to leave you out on such a festive occasion,” the fifty-year-old Thomas invites me.

It’s been almost fourteen days,  that I have been over here. It’s pretty difficult to stay over here. Well! I don’t want to lie to myself, it’s so much more difficult to survive over here. Here, there is everything but there is nothing for me.

That’s because of the way of life people over here live and the way I used to live. They can’t even imagine how luxurious and sound life I have been living and right now, I can only imagine.

I threatened my dad at that time and leave the place but after coming over here I feel almost empty all the time. Yeah, the reason is that my way of living has been completely different from what I used to live but more than that I have something else that made me lose my periods of sleep at night and my concentration during the day.

Honestly, I have nothing else to do over here. I just wander around the place and visit some farms. They are interesting to watch and I have to tell you that I have even involved myself working a few times at the time of harvesting along with them. Thanks to the money Cohen gave me, I can still rely on it for food. I have someone who makes food for me at least.

Thomas brings them to me every day as he is the one who has been taking care of this farmhouse for a long time.

But that’s not the problem for me. The major problem is because of the mystery girl I met fourteen days ago and I could never find her again.

I fucking don’t even know her name. Her face is vivid on my eyes. Whenever I close my eyes, her sad and deep orbs, gets captured in my eyes. I know she was real. How can someone with whom I spent a whole night be delusional? I can remember every single moment with her.

But I couldn't find her. She vanished like the foam in a thin air leaving not a single trace about her. Is she unreal? Is she some ghost? Even if she is I don’t care at all. Even if she is a ghost or some supernatural being I want to meet her, I want to love her and be with her. I don’t care about the world at all. I just would love to see her one more time.

Just one more time and talk with her, ask her what her name was and why was she so much sad that night. I just want to spend a few moments with her and let her go. No! If I ever find her one more time, I am never letting her go. I will hold her and keep her with me.

“Young lad!” he calls me one more time when I am lost in my imagination.

“Oh! Yeah,” I answer.

“Will you come over the dinner?” he asks me.

I have never been to dinners and gatherings after my mom passed away. I don’t want to attend the dinner tonight as well, neither I have the excitement for the celebration of  Christmas.

“I don’t believe in God Thomas. He has always taken away the most lovable elements from my life,” I answer. I know it’s not the answer that he wants to hear. His answer should be either ‘yes’ or ‘no’ but I guess he might receive the answer that I want to deliver to him.

“You have to believe him. Whatever happens to you always happens for a good reason. Everyone has to lose what they love the most. It’s just a matter of time. Maybe you never prayed to him,” he asks.

Yeah! I have never prayed to him. I never believed him. So, I would pray.

“No! I never did that,” I answer.

“Then you should try once. Maybe this time he would listen to your prayers,” he smiles with his yellow and slightly bent teeth and walks away from there in his slow steps.

Without even listening to him, I trot upstairs, to my room. I hurriedly open the door and plop down on the bed. I pillow both hands below my head as I watch above at the blue sky through the roof made up of glass.

The snow is still falling heavily like the night I had met her. I don’t know but when I watch the view of snow falling on the glass window, I feel as if I am hypnotized and realize that the snow is now blocking all the lights coming through that roof. I turn my head and watch outside through the window just like that.

“Do wishes come true? Is it because I have never wished for the one that is why it’s never been fulfilled?” I question myself as I look outside the window and close my eyes.

********

“Dad! Please don’t do that! Dad, please. Mom didn’t do it. Mom never made a mistake. Please, dad, don’t hurt her. She is already sick,” I was crying for my mom. She already was having a hard time going through her periods and dad was trying to hit her because she made his breakfast a few minutes late as she was sick.

But even after requesting him for such a long time, I wasn’t able to stop him from hitting her. The loud and painful slap landed right on her face without a single hesitation. All I could do was stand in front of her and watch the whole scene in utmost shock. My fingers stretch like a duck’s feet up in the air while my eyes are enlarged and my mouth opens forming an ‘O’ shape.

Thick drops of tears cascaded down my mom’s eyes as she replaced her hands on her right cheek with both of her hands.

He walked away as he slapped her and my mom kept on standing there like a statue while the tears kept on pouring down her eyes. Her eyes were flooding and as a high school boy, I could do nothing for my mom. I was more scared of dad than she was. My legs trembled and my hands were still shaking due to the whole scene.

“Mom!”  I called her while she was still holding her cheek with her hands like she was mortified right in that place. I shook her shoulders one more time and she lifted her eyes and her gaze stopped at mine with her eyes full of tears. Her eyes were reddened and I could see the red veins inside her eyes.

“Mom!” I said one more time.

“It’s time for your sister to wake up. I need to prepare breakfast for her,” she slowly moved away while she gently patted my shoulder. She left the room without any word while I watched her slow steps towards the kitchen.

I hated myself. I don’t want to call myself a man. I couldn’t just stop… stop my mother from being violated. The tears ran down my eyes. It’s a shame for a high school guy for being such a coward in his own family and not being able to solve his family problems and I detested myself so much for that.

My blood was boiling within me seeing the most adored woman of my life being treated just like an animal. My palms balled into a tight and disappointed fists and my legs suddenly rushed towards the way my mom left.

“Mom!” I called her.

She stopped her feet and turned her head towards me.

“I’m going to fight with dad someday. I’m gonna save you, mom,” I wiped away the tears from my cheeks as I assured her that.

She smiled as she heard and walked away in her slow steps.

********************

“Caden!” I hear my mom’s voice rings in my ear and I open my eyes and wake up from the bed and walk towards the window.  I open the closed window and watch the place around.

I see Thomas inviting other members of the society to the eve’s dinner. I should just applaud his energy. Despite being old, he is quite energetic to walk in this chilling cold and invite everyone for the celebration. I envy his energy right now.

And I suddenly hear the vibration of my phone. It’s Cohen. I know my dad’s never going to call me. He hates me as much as I hate him.

I slide the green receiver pic.

“Hey! Hottie! How’re you doing? Wanna hear the good news?” he rejoices. There is excitement in his voice. I can relate there must be something good in real.

“What is it Coldie?”

“Dad announced that he is going to call you back for Christmas. Isn’t that exciting?” he laughs.

“Oh!” I exclaim.

“Just Oh! Come on! I know you’re living a hellish life. I am sending you your car right now,” he says.

I can hear his joy even on the phone. I can also hear Caisey’s voice behind the phone. Honestly, we three just have three of us with each other.  We had one more person with us but she left us without any clue a year before. She was selfish too. She never told us anything. She never let us help her and went through everything alone. I hate her sometimes for that. But at the end of the day, I miss her more than anyone.

“No! Don’t send it now. Send it tomorrow morning,” I cut off the phone and walk downstairs all of a sudden. I pick the coat out of my hanger and rush towards Thomas. There is something I wish to have.

I have never been able to believe in godly things but today I want to believe in him. I want to wish for something from him.

“Thomas!” I call him from quite afar. I don’t think his old ears could hear my voice in this heavy snowfall. So, I try to run to him but I stumble on the snow and fall hard.

Seeing me falling to the ground he comes rushing to me.

“You must not have the habit of walking on the snow,” he laughs as he offers me his hand to stand.

“You can say so,” I smile.

“Need any assistance?” he asks.

“Yeah! Didn’t you tell me I can wish for anything today?” I ask. He simply nods his head and I give my hands to him

“Anything,” he says as he pulls me up. The old man is still so much strong.

“You have something you wish for?” he asks. I nod my head with shyness.

“You seem to have fallen in love,” he laughs as he hits on my shoulder.

I don’t answer him. It’s because I don’t want to deny him and also I don’t want to accept it as well.

“Well! Come to the dinner tonight. I am going to give you some tips,” he giggles and walks away from there.

(In the evening)

“Hey! Young man! Get inside,” Thomas calls me as I stand at the door of his wide dining hall. Almost twenty people are over there and they are all laughing and enjoying the eve.

Everyone welcomes me with such a warm heart. I am the only one who is exceptional in the age over there but they don’t make me feel that I am underaged over here. I have quality time over there. This is the most beautiful time of the whole year for me.

“So, what did you wish for?” Thomas asks.

“It’s not a wish if I tell you about it,” I smile and he giggles his heart out.

“How’s she?” he asks. I feel as if he could read my mind right now.

“Just like this snow,” I say. He gets confused as he hears me.

“How is it so?” he questions with one of his brows upward and a smile on his face.

“She’s as pretty as the snow and whenever I try to touch her, she melts away on my hands like she never existed just like this snow,” I get some on my hands and they melt quickly. Thomas smiles as he gazes at me and holds my hand in his.

“Have I ever told you this? When you talk like this, you talk just like your mother,” he smiles.

My eyes enlarge when I hear him talk about my mother. “You know her? My mom?” I ask curiously.