LOGINShare
FORTY SIX
Last Updated:
2022-07-08 15:09:00Related chapters
Falling In Love With Era FORTY SEVEN
Brad has called last night. I wasn't sure if it was right that this is what I am giving him. I mean he could vanish any time, there's a chance of that because that's how I am predicting things. Brad was a kind of person that nobody reads so I know that I better get myself ready if any time he would get into the plan of vanishing just in case. It's been week since I was back into this city that I used to dream about. I had so many plans before like meeting new people, getting own place, have my job stable, you know also visiting place. But over time, they were slowly fading away like an ash to the sky and then gone. When I had Sophie, those dreams became a blurry vision. I have no idea when will they be clear again. Of course, Anne and I talked again. We made up just because we couldn't help it. We have a short conversation about my plans and I was glad she supports me with it. Although, we'reokay now. I can't help but feel still guilty over the things I said to her. I know a part o
Last Updated : 2022-07-08Falling In Love With Era FORTY EIGHT
I've been pacing through the floor for the last ten minutes. Brad is on his way. Brad is finally coming over. I called this morning to ask him if he wants to come with me coming home for today. I could hear the shock in his voice. I knew it is an abrupt invitation. I though that maybe it would be better if he's there when I tell my father that I'll be staying in New York for good. I mean it is something I was thinking the moment I woke up this 4 in the morning. I decided if dad would see Brad, he would be convinced enough that my reason is for Sophie to have a family. Holy Cross is one of the best calming places I have ever known. I was born here but that's not the reason. I want my daughter to be happy. It would be best if Brad is part of it. Honestly, I am never ready not sure of this decision. But when will I be? Only telling my father would give me a peace in mind only if we make up and just be free from hate and disappointed. This is my chance of telling him my side. I'm kind
Last Updated : 2022-07-09Falling In Love With Era FORTY NINE
The moment Brad turns to my main street, my heart skips a beat. There's always something about this street that makes my heart goes that way. Something something about this street that reminds me so much about the entirety of my life. Like the trees next to it, the side walk. The matching cream color of the houses. The way the wind makes almost every little tiny objects move in the middle of a hot afternoon in Holy Cross Village. That name sounds childhood to me. A childhood that was long go forgotten.It's past afternoon, now. Brad and I have been listening to the radio for the last two hours. After that crying and feeling it all about his past, I just then felt steady and fairly positive about this life of mine. Life isn't always going to be that excellent and, all the time, happy. I know that. But this moment with my daughter and Brad marks a good memory somehow. There's always going to be failures and grieves that will be part of life and we should take part of it. Allow them to b
Last Updated : 2022-07-10Falling In Love With Era FIFTY
“So you're going back tonight?” My father asks after he talked to Brad in the kitchen. Brad nods and says, “Yeah. I think Era wants us to go back right away.” He then eyes me and raise one eyebrow. I follow them to the porch while I leave Sophie playing on a little crib my father made for her. He's such a sweet father. Even when I was little he would always got things for me. “But I think we will have dinner with you tonight. Is that...”He speaks even before I can complete my sentence. “Come on. You're my daughter. Of course I would want to have dinner with you here. Me and Simon will be cooking barbecue. What do you request having?” When his name pops out of his mouth, it makes me look down at my shoes. ”Wine, I guess.That's fine too.” I just say. It hits me then that it's Simon and father that have been getting closer now. Will I be able to concentrate later when he will be here, eating dinner with us? With me and Brad on the same table? How would he feels for that? I was broke
Last Updated : 2022-07-10Falling In Love With Era FIFTY ONE
I've never been to New York. Well, it was once when my mother took me to meet my father. I was probably five years old at that time. I didn't really know what happened and forgotten how it felt like so I think right now, this is my first time to actually be here and be fully present.If I have one more reason to be here, I would know but right now, one real reason I have is Era. I've been tossing and turning on my sleep last night. Well, technically, I wasn't really sleeping, I was awake and staring at the dark space covering the ceiling. Maybe it was meant to happen that way. To always think of her so I can decide whether I come to New York. Tell her what I feel towards her. Tell her how much I want her. I love her. Gad, it took me years of heartbreak to even decide on this one. To finally confront her with my feelings. I don't know what to expect but I want this to happen. It needs to happen. It has to happen. Because if not now, when? I can't watch her go and be merry with Brad, b
Last Updated : 2022-07-20Falling In Love With Era FIFTY TWO
I've never been to New York. Well, it was once when my mother took me to meet my father. I was probably five years old at that time. I didn't really know what happened and forgotten how it felt like so I think right now, this is my first time to actually be here and be fully present.If I have one more reason to be here, I would know but right now, one real reason I have is Era. I've been tossing and turning on my sleep last night. Well, technically, I wasn't really sleeping, I was awake and staring at the dark space covering the ceiling. Maybe it was meant to happen that way. To always think of her so I can decide whether I come to New York. Tell her what I feel towards her. Tell her how much I want her. I love her. Gad, it took me years of heartbreak to even decide on this one. To finally confront her with my feelings. I don't know what to expect but I want this to happen. It needs to happen. It has to happen. Because if not now, when? I can't watch her go and be merry with Brad, b
Last Updated : 2022-08-02Falling In Love With Era FIFTY THREE
It's Friday afternoon, 1:56 P.M. I'm walking toward the front door when I see a glimpse of Era outisde their house, throwing the garbage at the same time. I blink a few times, hoping she would be gone then but I guess I don't believe it right away because I know there's no way she's home right now. But she's still there and my heart is beating right out of my chest the moment it sinks in. Everything is happening so fast that I already find myself running towards where she's standing. Her back is on me and when she turns around, there's no trace of shock in her face. Was she expecting me to be here in the first place? It's been three days since I was back from New York. Three days since she was gone. Gad I miss her to much. I can't believe this enough that she's here. Alive and smiling at me as if she never really disappeared. “Era?” I finally say. “Hey.” I find myself shy in front of her. Her smile only widens and then she jumps to wrap her arms around me. I only close my eyes and
Last Updated : 2022-08-02Falling In Love With Era FIFTY FOUR
Endings can sometimes feel like numbing and at the same time you're hoping it's not happening. But the truth is you're not fearing over the end, you're fearing over the change. Because that exactly what I'm fearing now. The change. Sometimes I want to dig open the future and be there and let it become known to me but it's impossible to happen. I feel like I have let the things come to an end without doing something to prevent it. End and change are teo of the most scary things to happen. And mostly the change is what I fear because it is just the way it is and that I can never do anything to with it.I've been sitting in the kitchen table, eating my cereal, and drinking my cold coffee. But it takes me hours to even take a sip of it. In the morning I just feel my hand heavy and I can't even move to lift my cup. My mother called me a few times this morning but even if it was just right next to me. I didn't move a nerve to answer it. The phone rings ten times and I just ignore it like
Last Updated : 2022-08-02
Latest chapter
Falling In Love With Era FIFTY SEVEN
FIVE YEARS LATERERA'S POV “Mommy! Mommy!” I run upstairs and trying my best not to think of any bad thing that can happen to Sophie. She's sitting in the bathroom. “What happened?”I ask her, holding her hands. “Can you get my Zoe in my bedroom?” A relief of sigh come out of me. Zoe is her teddy bear. The only thing she can play with among all other toys she have. I don't think it's one of the fun thing about being a young kid. You get to choose which toy is your favorite. If it's a plastic toy. A feathery toy. It's all up to you. And it's one of my favorite thing to do for Sophie. Being able to give her the one that she likes the most. Sometimes it reminds me of my childhood and it often leads me to remember Simon. It's been five years. Yes. Five years. I don't how will I feel. Sometimes I wonder if we'll ever get tot he point of seeing each other again. And I have come to the point of not liking myself thinking about it. It's making me sad sometimes. I do feel like I have giv
Falling In Love With Era FIFTY SIX
I finally decided to let go of the house. Era have put a sign in front of their house that says property for sale. The last morning I have was spent staring at the sign for a few hours. I wasn't feeling happy about it. It was a lonely sight for me. I was empty. The soaring loneliness have become more evident. If only Richard didn't have to be gone. Everyone showed up at the funeral. Richard's family was there. Dad was there. We talked a bit and then he went back to New York. He is apparently a business man. A man of success. A man of ambition. Richard is a man of balance. He is still successful. He gave time to his family. He have happiness to both. I really see the different. But what can it do. Things will never be the same. Some little words from my own father aren't enough. I needed him more than anything. This is something I wish he have given me. Sometimes, I just want Richard to be my father but he isn't the name on the paper but he has a piece in my heart that stays the same
Falling In Love With Era FIFTY FIVE
That's when I know. I know that something is going on. The way my mother wipes roughly broken wipes the tears on her face like a kid getting a cry from a horrible moment. From a heartbreaking moment. Through the window, I watch her make her way to our front door. .the door flies open, “Simon. It's Richard.” She breaks into tears. Her face in a crumpped confused, scared and in disbelief scene. I immediately meet her at the door.“What happened to him?”“When I step in, he was lying on the floor. He was....he's...Simon... He's dead, Simon. He's dead.” She can't seem to push every right word to say but she's able to breathe afterwards. “What do you mean he's dead?” I pace through the floor, trying to understand everything she's saying. I'm sure Kim doesn't know this. But how could Richard be dead? Me and mom ran back to the Fin house. It's hard to believe it. It's hard to believe that a person could be dead when you just saw them a few days ago, like a minute ago. Is this a dream? I a
Falling In Love With Era FIFTY FOUR
Endings can sometimes feel like numbing and at the same time you're hoping it's not happening. But the truth is you're not fearing over the end, you're fearing over the change. Because that exactly what I'm fearing now. The change. Sometimes I want to dig open the future and be there and let it become known to me but it's impossible to happen. I feel like I have let the things come to an end without doing something to prevent it. End and change are teo of the most scary things to happen. And mostly the change is what I fear because it is just the way it is and that I can never do anything to with it.I've been sitting in the kitchen table, eating my cereal, and drinking my cold coffee. But it takes me hours to even take a sip of it. In the morning I just feel my hand heavy and I can't even move to lift my cup. My mother called me a few times this morning but even if it was just right next to me. I didn't move a nerve to answer it. The phone rings ten times and I just ignore it like
Falling In Love With Era FIFTY THREE
It's Friday afternoon, 1:56 P.M. I'm walking toward the front door when I see a glimpse of Era outisde their house, throwing the garbage at the same time. I blink a few times, hoping she would be gone then but I guess I don't believe it right away because I know there's no way she's home right now. But she's still there and my heart is beating right out of my chest the moment it sinks in. Everything is happening so fast that I already find myself running towards where she's standing. Her back is on me and when she turns around, there's no trace of shock in her face. Was she expecting me to be here in the first place? It's been three days since I was back from New York. Three days since she was gone. Gad I miss her to much. I can't believe this enough that she's here. Alive and smiling at me as if she never really disappeared. “Era?” I finally say. “Hey.” I find myself shy in front of her. Her smile only widens and then she jumps to wrap her arms around me. I only close my eyes and
Falling In Love With Era FIFTY TWO
I've never been to New York. Well, it was once when my mother took me to meet my father. I was probably five years old at that time. I didn't really know what happened and forgotten how it felt like so I think right now, this is my first time to actually be here and be fully present.If I have one more reason to be here, I would know but right now, one real reason I have is Era. I've been tossing and turning on my sleep last night. Well, technically, I wasn't really sleeping, I was awake and staring at the dark space covering the ceiling. Maybe it was meant to happen that way. To always think of her so I can decide whether I come to New York. Tell her what I feel towards her. Tell her how much I want her. I love her. Gad, it took me years of heartbreak to even decide on this one. To finally confront her with my feelings. I don't know what to expect but I want this to happen. It needs to happen. It has to happen. Because if not now, when? I can't watch her go and be merry with Brad, b
Falling In Love With Era FIFTY ONE
I've never been to New York. Well, it was once when my mother took me to meet my father. I was probably five years old at that time. I didn't really know what happened and forgotten how it felt like so I think right now, this is my first time to actually be here and be fully present.If I have one more reason to be here, I would know but right now, one real reason I have is Era. I've been tossing and turning on my sleep last night. Well, technically, I wasn't really sleeping, I was awake and staring at the dark space covering the ceiling. Maybe it was meant to happen that way. To always think of her so I can decide whether I come to New York. Tell her what I feel towards her. Tell her how much I want her. I love her. Gad, it took me years of heartbreak to even decide on this one. To finally confront her with my feelings. I don't know what to expect but I want this to happen. It needs to happen. It has to happen. Because if not now, when? I can't watch her go and be merry with Brad, b
Falling In Love With Era FIFTY
“So you're going back tonight?” My father asks after he talked to Brad in the kitchen. Brad nods and says, “Yeah. I think Era wants us to go back right away.” He then eyes me and raise one eyebrow. I follow them to the porch while I leave Sophie playing on a little crib my father made for her. He's such a sweet father. Even when I was little he would always got things for me. “But I think we will have dinner with you tonight. Is that...”He speaks even before I can complete my sentence. “Come on. You're my daughter. Of course I would want to have dinner with you here. Me and Simon will be cooking barbecue. What do you request having?” When his name pops out of his mouth, it makes me look down at my shoes. ”Wine, I guess.That's fine too.” I just say. It hits me then that it's Simon and father that have been getting closer now. Will I be able to concentrate later when he will be here, eating dinner with us? With me and Brad on the same table? How would he feels for that? I was broke
Falling In Love With Era FORTY NINE
The moment Brad turns to my main street, my heart skips a beat. There's always something about this street that makes my heart goes that way. Something something about this street that reminds me so much about the entirety of my life. Like the trees next to it, the side walk. The matching cream color of the houses. The way the wind makes almost every little tiny objects move in the middle of a hot afternoon in Holy Cross Village. That name sounds childhood to me. A childhood that was long go forgotten.It's past afternoon, now. Brad and I have been listening to the radio for the last two hours. After that crying and feeling it all about his past, I just then felt steady and fairly positive about this life of mine. Life isn't always going to be that excellent and, all the time, happy. I know that. But this moment with my daughter and Brad marks a good memory somehow. There's always going to be failures and grieves that will be part of life and we should take part of it. Allow them to b
