~Zia~
“Alone?” I repeated, walking to where he was as he continued to clean the fish, leaning on the wooden counter.
Xavier nodded. “It’s both a punishment and redemption.”
“How long was ‘a while?’” I followed him out to a makeshift grill made of stones and iron railings. Xavier skillfully lit up a fire under it, using nothing but rocks and a few twigs, making my jaw drop open.
I’m in for all kinds of survival skills, but this man is something else.
“Six months.”
“How did you do that?” I can’t help but wonder in awe.
Xavier chuckled, “are you amazed?”
I nodded, biting my lip. “Show
~Zia~ This is so much worse than being caught in the act of committing murder by the police. Well, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but… what have I done in my past life to receive this punishment? I wasn’t just caught with my hand in the cookie jar, but so much worse. My hand was on my own cookie! I even moaned his name! There’s no moisture left in my mouth even if I attempt to swallow hard. Wildfire of humiliation embraced my skin as I averted my gaze from him, focusing on anything apart from my husband’s firm figure. “H-how long have you been standing there?” I want to applaud myself for not stumbling over my words. Bending on the waist, I reached for the discarded shirt on
~Zia~ The beating of my heart was deafening, my breath coming up short in puffs as I watched Xavier’s shadow move in the dark. He acts as if it’s daytime instead of nearly dawn; the gray moon’s glow coming from the open window was our only source of light. There are movements close to the cottage. The flashes of lights when Xavier woke me up and the little snapping of twigs from all directions continued. It may be mistaken for wild animals, but the constant movement of red dotted light every ten seconds tells me otherwise. People are here, they’ve surrounded the cottage, and I’m sure they’re not here to say hello or wish us to be merry. Xavier, wearing his sweatpants, reached for something on the top of the closet, withd
~Zia~ I was barely aware of my surroundings as Xavier carried me out of the cottage. The sight of Tanawat and the guy with umber eyes piling up bodies - lifeless bodies - on a fishing boat by the beach had my stomach twisting in wicked ways. I patted Xavier’s shoulder, forcing him to set me down on my feet. I scrambled down from his arms, kneeling on the sand, emptying the content of my stomach. The fine sand we set foot on yesterday is not white anymore. It’s stained with pools and patches of crimson liquid. The stench of blood as the sun beat on it turned my world upside down. Xavier kneeled beside me, pulling my hair back as I curled from the force of this foul distortion in my system. I’m spewing nothing but air, and it is fucking unpleasant.
~Xavier~ What I fear is knocking on my doorsteps. My marriage to Zia raised panic and alarm throughout the entire underworld. Our allies celebrated my wedding to her, but our enemies will see it as a threat, a way for the Italian and American mafia to claim power over this dangerous world of kill or be killed. Only the strong will survive. This is what grandad Mansueto carved in my mind, and I’m afraid that there’s no way for Zia to walk out unscratched in this war - this crazy greed for power that consumed our families. We are only pawns in this game, but I will keep my promise to her. Even if it costs me my life, I will protect her. She’s fast asleep, still shaken by what happened on the island. Even with her eyes closed, her lips continue to tremble, fingers flinching, holding on to me so tight as if she’s afr
~Xavier~ The air is thick between us; no doubt that a rusty knife could slice through it. It’s a punishment and a reminder, at the same time, the reason I keep track of how many lives I’ve taken since I began working for the mafia. My men called me a sadist, a narcissist, but honestly, it’s somewhat a nudge in my soul that I can still feel something. A fucked way of convincing myself that I’m not too far gone. But the way Zia is looking at me as if I just told her the sun sets in the east tells me how fucked up that motion is. I’m gone - I drifted too far already, and I’m way past the line of saving my humanity. She said it herself, what I did to those people is not the work of a human being. She only saw a tiny glimpse of what I do on a day-to-day basis. I’m a monster, and she’s better off hating me.
~Zia~ Xavier warned me that nothing about this life would be pretty. He specifically told me not to trust anyone apart from him until he learns who’s trying to hurt me. We can’t talk about the mafia while we’re in the manor. I wonder why, but it all ended in that reality again. I can only trust him and no one else. On the flight back to New York, he revealed that our family’s businesses were only a front of what actual business was happening underground. The company he’s managing right now, the Luciano Shipping line, is the cherry on top of this marriage. I love my parents. I’m damn grateful that they tried to keep this side of the family business from me for twenty-one years to give me a normal life. But part of me dreads how many people suffered for us to live a luxurious life.
~Zia~To my surprise, I had a fun time with Ashley and Lorenzo. We mostly talked about Lorenzo until he fell asleep in my arms while the sun leisurely dipped on the horizon. Ashley showed me cute videos she captured of her son sleeping. There was something about babies in their slumber that warms my heart.Lorenzo is so innocent, and I had that fellow feeling in my gut, knowing that he’ll grow up in this life just like Calvin and Xavier.Xavier’s meeting with Pier took longer than I expected. They weren’t able to join us for dinner. Calvin was missing as well, but I had no intentions of finding out where he’s been spending his time these days. Ashley doesn’t seem to mind his absence, though, which is shocking in reference to their history.I
~Xavier~There’s nothing in this world that makes my day better than waking up each morning with Zia snuggled close to my warmth. She sleeps longer with her cheek resting above my chest. It’s as though she finds peace listening to my heart beating.Sleep is where I’m most vulnerable; that’s why I refused to sleep with Zia before. I’m used to the comfort of being alone and cold at night. But my night became warmer because of her. Sleeping with her is actually something I look forward to every time I come home from work - apart from exploring her body, of course.Four a.m. I should be at the gym already. But I’ve been admiring my wife’s beautiful face, wondering what she’s dreaming about. She snores in her sleep, and I find it adorable. Well, nothing about her is ‘
~Zia~ About thirty minutes into the drive, Xavier parked in front of the cabin by the lake. My mind was somewhere else through the drive; another guilt feeling washed over me. This was our night together, and I pushed my worry about Lu and Penny aside for a bit. I just have to trust that they’ll work things out. Xavier slid out of the car; I took this chance to shake my worry away as he skirted over to my side, opening the door for me. Trees shadowed over us, creating a dancing pattern through their leaves as the sliver of the silver moon slipped between the gaps. The gentle purr of the summer wind made the small lights anchored from tree to tree swayed like sparkling stars within my reach. In my awe, I admired the cabin, small, cozy, made of glass and wood. Yellow l
~Zia~Like always, Xavier had everything planned out. We took a drive to Club Sky and met with our friends. I haven’t gone out with any of them since I gave birth to Franco. Sure, they visit our place often, sometimes for no apparent reason.Diego would pop up the most; he even had his things in the guest room since he’s been sleeping there a couple of nights a week. One time, I interrogated him about why he’s always in our place. I don’t mind having them over, but Diego is a pain in the ass. He whines when we run out of Batangas coffee. It’s cute. He’s a child that cries when there’s no cereal in the morning. And his response was even infuriating.‘You hoard the best coffee in town,’ was his nonchalant response. I pity the girl who would fall for this kid.
~Zia~My parents have been traveling back and forth from New York to Seattle for about two months now. They have the penthouse next to ours to their name. They wanted to be close to Franco. I mean, they even hold him longer than I do when they’re around. I only get to hold him when he’s hungry; where’s the justice in that?Mom and Dad were sitting in the living room, admiring Franco as he cooed, yawned, and fluttered his eyes because he was already sleepy.I stare at them from the kitchen, eating my salad with a pout on my lip. There’s a small part of me that feels a little possessive about my son. I knew my parents only wanted to be with their grandchild. They’ve been waiting for him excitedly, like Xavier and me. They’ve been deprived of this chance when Nadia lost her baby; now
~Zia~“Xavier!” I pressed my hand on my lower back, the other set under my huge belly, breathing in and out. The cramps were different. Dr. Shiovan told me I would know when it was time. And it’s damn time.Still in his pajamas, Xavier came rushing into our room with flour decorating the black apron around his neck. He was making a ravioli for me, my request last night, and he promised me he’d make his pasta for the dish, which became my go-to food in the third trimester of my pregnancy.“It’s time?” he asked, helping me up from the reading nook where I spent my entire morning.“Fuck,” I hissed, feeling another contraction. “He’s coming out.”Xavier&rsquo
~Zia~ It doesn’t matter if we are alive and breathing. The emptiness written all over our faces screams we lost more than what we gained. Xavier got out safely, but the manor didn’t survive the explosion. Part of our plan was to make the crime scene look like a gas leak under the estate, making it easier for our people in the government to investigate and conceal this chaos. There’ll be a lot of questions asked, and for the most part, everything we’ll say would be a lie. We headed back to the safe house to spend the night and tend to our wounded. Xavier was silent the entire drive; we all were, for that matter. He gave me a quick peck on the forehead when we got to our room and headed directly to the bathroom to clean up
~Zia~“Lu, Bo,” Xavier grunted, fighting his way through the hallway that led to the basement. “I really need you two to move your fucking asses now!”“This is a fucking sewage system!” Lu grunted. They had the job of setting up explosives under the manor. A big argument took over before the two agreed to do this. They wanted to be on Xavier’s side, to protect their boss and friend, but they had a bigger task at hand. “It would’ve been easier if we came in with you, you idiot!”Xavier grunted, taking cover on the busted wall of the hallway. A Luciano family portrait hangs above him, swaying with each wave of gunfire through the air.“Did you just call me an idiot?” Xavier chuckled.
~Zia~“Where is my grandson?” the man who slit Francine’s throat asked, his thick brows arched, head tilting to the side, seizing my husband up. Brown eyes, burning with a hunger for blood, starred into Xavier’s hues.Like what we expected, the moment Xavier stepped out of the car, armed men from the opposing side surrounded them. They’ll never play fair. We are mere pawns in his game of death, and he plays an award-winning role of a devil.Xavier glanced around at the men surrounding him as if they’re nothing but mere mortals, and he’s fucking above them.That’s my husband right there. He’d look death straight in the eyes and would never show a hint of fear. ‘Death should be afraid of me,’ that’s wh
~Zia~The sight that bombarded me when I descended the stairs puzzled me. I was expecting Xavier and Calvin to gut each other’s throat, not that I was hoping for it, but this was the least I predicted with everything that’s happened.Ammunition and firearms, from handguns, knives to assault rifles, are scattered everywhere I glance. Xavier, Mom, Dad, the rest of the team, my sister, and her people are arming themselves, wearing a mask of confidence.We’re going to war.A loud crashing of metal against the floor grabbed my attention from studying my family. I saw a glimpse of Calvin in the kitchen, arming himself with a bulletproof vest, surrounded by a few more of Nadia’s men.“Xavier,” I n
~Zia~Our lips moved against one another, gentle, searching and asking for anything to make us feel alive.The kiss wasn’t filled with lust. It was filled with the need for love, warmth, and hope in our world that has turned unrelenting and cold. We need each other to have and to hold, just like our vow, just like what this wedding band in our fingers meant.My hands gripped his shoulder tightly, holding on to him, unwilling to let go, to stay here with my husband.I seamed his lower lip, asking him to let me in. When his lips parted, I slid my tongue between them, begging him to lose himself in me. His hands came up to my hips, nails digging painfully, making me hiss against his mouth.“Zia…” Xavier