Chapter 2: Desires

~Rubel~

"Do you think I am ready to have someone like him in my life?"

Standing in front of a long mirror, I glanced through the reflection, sharing my self-sabotaging thoughts with my best friend.

"Maybe he feels the same way," Anna replied as she inhaled the minute particles from the cancer stick, holding it in her lungs while pointing the rolled nicotine paper at me.

Rolling my eyes, I glared at her as smoke rolled from her lips in circles.

"You know I don't do this."

"Then you should. It will stop you from running after Marcus."

She gave me a smug smile as she pulls back her fingers before she stuffed the stick back between her lips to get another suck.

I turned towards her, keeping my hand over my chest to fix my deep cleavage line. When she released those white clouds from her lungs again, it made me cough a bit, but being around her so often, I am addicted to being a second-hand smoker.

"Anna, please. Tell me. Do you think he would propose to me today?" I bit my lip, waiting for her response.

"He's throwing a surprise party and invited all his friends. What do you think?"

Thinking of the man I am in love with, the butterflies started to flutter in my tummy at the thought of him.

“Will you just give me a straight answer?”

With a hum, she answered, "I think… yes."

Hearing her say that made my heart leap in my chest. The happiness of getting a marriage proposal from that handsome man excites me. Marcus Menon is my one true love. We found each other a few months back, and it didn't take long before I was telling him my heart's desires.

I fell in love the instant I saw him and quickly told him how much I liked him. He hesitated at first, but soon decided to go with the flow.

Today, after ten months, I am excited to think he is about to propose to me. My whole life, I was called the weakest link of the family. My mom was a beauty pageant queen, while my dad was a soccer player. My sister, an upcoming model dating a Hollywood actor, and then my handsome brother owns an event management company.

My financial status is doing well because I am work as head of HR in one of the finest marketing companies in Manhattan, but my siblings always make me feel vulnerable about the way I carry myself. They think I am a plain-Jane girl with no sense of fashion.

My chocolate brown hair comes from my mother's side, which most of the time is wrapped in a bun. I like to wear glasses because I think it gives a mature look, and I’m far-sighted. When it comes to the clothes I wear, I always get scolded by everyone. I’m a person who likes to wear loose clothing and be comfortable. I might be insecure, but my lean body makes me feel awkward, and I don't think I have that X-factor to lure in a man.

Working in a marketing firm made me more conscious of my looks. Honestly, I have no sense of fashion, so why should I accept the fact I have a person like Marcus in my life? Fortunately for me, I think he loves me the way I am, and something about that makes my heartbeat faster.

Today, Marcus is going to propose to me, and I will declare a victory over my siblings. I will tell them it's not about looks. it's about your heart.

A smirk played on my lips thinking of all these moments, playing one after another.

"Why are you smiling?" Anna asked as she assisted in zipping up my dress.

"Because Marcus is the most handsome guy any girl could think of, and today the world will bow before me. I want to see those jealous eyes looking at me while my handsome man wraps his arms around my waist possessively and takes his claim."

Anna shrugged as if not a care in the world about how important this is to me.

She is my best friend and my total opposite. She’s smoking hot and has a new date every week. I don't know how she manages it. Here I am, not getting a man to fall in love with me until I met Marcus.

Despite my frumpy ways, my fashionista friend loves me and doesn't want to change me.

"You should wear a short sexy dress." She arched her brows, looking me over. "If he is going to propose to you, you should wear something that gets him fired up."

Guess I was wrong. Maybe she does want to change me.

“Why? What's wrong with this?" I replied.

"If this is your big day, then you should look super sexy."

I gave her my signature stare, noting I’m not impressed.

"At least style your hair."

"Fine," I replied as she immediately brought a curler and made my long strands into a stylish wavy hairstyle.

"Thanks. Let's go," I thanked her with a smile while heading out of the apartment I hastily pulled her towards the elevator. "I don't want to be late, and the traffic… ugh."

We live in Manhattan, so the name itself completes the introduction. A dream place for girls like me who want to achieve something in their life.

The closed metal door of the elevator reminds us to give a final look over each other.

"Don't stress yourself, Rubel," Anna said, reading the wrinkle lines on my forehead.

"I still can’t believe this. All my dreams are about to come true."

Biting my lips, she squeezed me in her arms, noticing the tension. "You deserve this, babe."

When we came to the hotel lobby asking for the exact area for the event, the receptionist directed us in the west direction toward the banquet halls. Quickly, my heart thudded against my chest like a drum. This was it.

Suddenly the butterflies inside my tummy settled as my warm breath hitched into nervousness. My clammy hand is still showcasing the leftover nerves and the goosebumps in my skin rippled in response.

We entered the hall, which was decorated with white flowers and candles. all for me.

He loves me. That was the thought that hit me again.

I grabbed my clutch purse against my chest, trying hard not to faint with excitement, and looked towards Anna, who was giving me her Colgate smile.

"It's beautiful, babe. Your man is a hotshot," she winked.

We walked inside, where I saw the man of my dreams.

"Marcus," I squealed as I rushed to greet him with a hug.

"Hey, Rubel. I am happy you came"

Well, that was some low-class humor, which I needed to appreciate. Maybe he was nervous too.

I smiled. "You know, I will never say no to you."

I pretended to not know what was going on because I knew he bought the ring. It was from the same jewelry shop we went to last month. Last week I went to the jewelry shop to fix my bracelet chain and the salesman told me Marcus bought a ring.

When he introduced me to other friends, it was odd that Marcus introduced me as his friend. Well, I know he likes to tease me like this, so I didn’t think much of it.

After introductions, I settled myself at the corner round table, waiting for other people to come.

"Babe, why did he introduce you as his friend?"

"Oh, come on, Anna. He likes to tease me like this," I replied.

As the people came, my bladder started to tease me with pain. All the nervousness turned into water that wanted to come out.

"Excuse me for a moment, please."

"Where are you going?" Anna replied, looking towards the stage.

"I need to pee. I can't stand in front of everyone holding my excitement like this," I replied.

"What if he calls your name?"

"Tell him to wait. His bride will join him soon." I winked and sprinted towards the restroom.

I was looking back, hoping he wouldn’t announce anything in my absence. I don't want to miss a single word of love coming from his mouth. I was lost in my thoughts when I bumped into someone. Suddenly I could feel the wetness in the left side of my stomach and thighs, not sure where the wet liquid was coming from.

"Fuck."

I looked up, finding a handsomely sculpted face looking at me. When I looked back down at my beige color dress, which was now turned a shade darker, I realized this stupid man spilled his red wine on it.

"What the heck did you do?"

I literally wanted to slap him, but he was calmly looking at me with a hint of regret.

My nostrils flared with anger. The fire coming out of my eye wanted to burn him like dragon flames.

"Can you remove your glasses?" he asked.

My brows squeezed together to understand his words.

"Remove... glasses?"

Is he mad or what?

I jerked my neck, scanning him properly, shifting my glasses up on my nose.

"No, never."

What a shitty question for him to ask. Yet, he chuckled at my annoyance.

"Are you all right, miss?"

Am I all right? No. I was excited and happily enjoying myself. Now my dress is ruined because of you, you idiot.

"You ruined my dress."

"I didn't mean to, but you were the one looking back while walking ahead."

Look at the guts of this man.

"You know what. I don't want to waste my time here with you. My boyfriend is about to propose to me, and I don't want to spoil my mood talking to you," I snorted. "So, excuse me."

I dashed towards the restroom and released my anxiety before I tried to wash my dress, but it didn't help.

"Seriously," I huffed.

Stepping out of the ladies room, I saw the same man talking to a woman. Our eyes met for a second, and I cursed him under my breath for spoiling my dress.

While I was walking towards the hall, I heard people clapping for something and heard Marcus's voice cracking some jokes. As I entered, I saw he was on the stage holding a microphone, spilling out his charm on everyone.

"So, here she comes, the queen of my dreams." He released the words and, there the spotlight fell upon me.

Oh, God! Oh, God! I was about to die. everyone was watching me.

I shadowed my eyes from the lights with my palm to get a clear view of Marcus who had stuffed his hand in his blazer pocket and took out a red velvet box.

Yes, yes! He was walking towards me.

I licked my lips twice to make them look glossy. I didn't want to ruin the pictures.

He was walking towards me and I lifted my dominant shivering hand towards my chest. Once he came in front of me, he gave me his killer thousand-watt smile.

"Excuse me," he said as he passed, walking towards the door.

He must be mistaken. No no. Marcus, this was the time to play.

I turned and saw he kneeled in front of another girl, holding her hand in his. She nodded her head, agreeing with his proposal and suddenly I felt salty tears covering my pale cheeks. I’m sure nobody noticed my tears as they were hidden behind my glasses.

I tried to smile as the audience cheered them on. I wanted to be a good person, but why does it hurt me so much?

Suddenly, a hand touched my shoulder, I knew it was none other than Anna. I wanted to stretch my lips east to west to showcase my fake smile, but all I could do was rest my head on her shoulder.

Marcus looks happy, but I feel like my heart is being ripped in two.

They walked towards me as he introduced his girl. "Hey Rubel, meet Kiara. My.."

Anna gritted her teeth as her hand turned into a fist. "You serpent... I…"

I grabbed her hand immediately, taking a slow steady breath. "Congratulations, Marcus."

After having three unexpected breakups, I trained myself to muster a smile in front of these men. He crossed me and I won’t let him see my pain.

"Rubel, why? Why didn't you tell him anything," Ann replied with a whisper as the couple went to greet guests.

"Because it was me who loved him, he never said he loved me. I misunderstood his care and affection as love," I replied. "I will be back. I need some time."

I ran towards the restroom, falling against the wall in the hallway to catch my breath. My chest was paining and my heart felt like it stopped pumping the blood to my veins. All I could see was blurry tears. Once again, my heart broke into thousands of pieces.

I am sure I am an omen carrier. I am the biggest loser when it comes to failing a relationship.

"Hey, how's your proposal?" Once again, that stranger caught my focus.

He looked at me and then my finger, which was definitely not carrying the expensive ring.

Great, now strangers are also making fun of me.

I didn't say anything to him as I bolted into the restroom and burst into tears.