When I walk out, Iâm on cloud nine. Not as a Luna, or a werewolf of any sort, but as a teenage girl in love.And there is my boyfriendâmy loveâwaiting for me, his hair a sexy mess and a feverish look in his eyes. As I walk toward him, a life together flashes before my eyes: Us getting older, having children, finding our way togetherâĶforever.I donât know if it will be like that, but in the moment itâs the only thing I want to think about.He takes my hand, playfully swinging them back and forth as we walk to the outer perimeter. Then we take a turn into the woods. âI thought we could use some privacy,â Alex explains.âWhatever happened to the rogues? Did you find them?ââI donât think we found all of them. There were thirteen there. But we left a message for any that returned.ââDo you think theyâll be a problem?ââCharles thinks they wonât be an issue now that Ryan is dead, and weâve cleared their camp.ââI hope heâs right.ââMe, too.â He kisses me on the head. âHave you noticedâĶâ Al
âAhhhâĶâ I exhale bliss when we stop. âThank you, Alex.ââI know you need to go back to your mom soon, so Iâll do everything I can. But you will eventually have to come back to your pack.ââYeahâI know. I just have to figure out how to do that. What to tell my mom and when to make that break.ââJust remember, I may not be able to go with youâĶat first.ââOh, noâMichael!â How could I have forgotten? âIs there a cure for Wolfsbane?ââIf there is, it probably died with the wolf that poisoned him.ââIâm ssso sorry.ââYeahâĶweâll deal with it when we get back. But I probably canât go back home with you, to live anyway. The pack will be my home now.âFinally, this seems to be a good time to ask him about us. I need to know how he feelsâĶwhat he thinks.âWhere does that leave us?ââIâve given this some thought. Once you turned, it all made sense: my attraction to you, my inability to leave you alone.ââBut what about Rita?ââYeahâĶabout Rita.â He pauses to organize his thoughts. Itâs almost like
We return to the base in time to go to my honorary dinner. Which is terrible.Noâitâs actually very nice. Extremely thoughtful. Itâs just awkward to be thrust into a position you know nothing about and to have to tell them you donât intend to stay. At least not for now. If I can get my words together, I hope to be able to make them understand.When Alex and I enter the Meeting Hall, everyone is there. Tables have been set up with food, and my stomach growls at the thought of getting to slaughter some meat. Literally.Yeah, itâs weird for me.Everyone stops and looks at us. I smile, cordially, though Iâm sure my face is red.Lenor comes to my rescue. She rushes over to me, takes my hand, and leads me to the other end of the table.I know from the last pack dinner I attended that the opposite end is where the leaders sit: the Alpha and his family.I see Rita on that end, along with two empty chairs.What I donât see is an Alpha because there isnât one. Iâm afraid I know where theyâre go
With no need to fear future attacks, we are set to leave the next morning. I meet with the Elders first so we could work out the details of my absence. Charles is also there, and there is a very informal âchanging of the guard,â so to speak. He already knows his duties, so anything they explain to him is merely formality.For the first time, I feel a part of them. I may not know hardly anyone in the Malkeye pack, but I know this handful of Council members and they treat me like an equal. It makes me feel so included.And so grown up. Will my mother even recognize me? Of course she will, but will she notice any changes in me? I hope soâĶand for the better.The Elders and Charles also see us off. I feel like Charles and I have a connection, especially since heâs the first one to recognize me for who I am. I should be able to trust him while Iâm gone.Rita and Alex wait until weâre out of town to shift.âI know it may take you a while to figure it out, and I didnât want you to have to fig
That afternoon, I prepare to make my transition home.I talk to my mom and tell her I will be back within the week. I can hear the relief in her voice and it makes me yearn to see her. To be honest, I appreciate her even more now that I know she chose to keep me and love me as her own, though Iâm disappointed she never told me the truth.I also text Hailey to tell her that camp is almost over. When I first left, I told her I didnât know how many weeks I would stay to allow some leniency and to keep her from getting suspicious. Sheâs excited to catch up, and I promise to call her when I get back.That evening, we return to see Michael, who is looking substantially better. Heâs sitting up and some color has returned to his face. He also already has a visitor. Sitting on the side of his bedâholding his handâis Rita.Then it hits me. She didnât want Alex because sheâs already in loveâĶwith his brother. I can tell, because the look in her eyes is the same one I see in the mirror.Alex, my s
Alex talks to Michael for hours, leaving me to guess what is happening and eventually causing Rita and me to fear if something has gone wrong.Eventually, Alex returns to his parentsâ house. Iâm sitting at the table with his parents and with Rita, barely touching the plate of food in front of me. In fact, Mr. Hewlett is the only one who seems to have an appetite.Tala rises as Alex approaches. âLet me make you a plate,â she says before turning to walk away.âDonât,â Alex says, causing her to stop in her tracks.She approaches him and places a hand on his shoulder, searching his face. âYou need to eat something.ââI donât have an appetite. I just need some time alone.âShe lowers her hand and locks her fingers together, resolved to . âOf course. Iâll have something in the refrigerator for you when youâre ready.âI want to follow him to his room, but I donât know if that would be appropriate, and he doesnât ask for me. He simply walks away, followed by the sound of a door shutting. The
I spend the next few days at the Ayzena camp watching and learning, soaking it all in. Tala is very good about ingratiating me with the knowledge of everyday life in the pack, the roles that different members take on, and what is expected of a Luna.Each pack member has a role within the camp, similar to that in a human community. There are farmer werewolvesâwhich is a crazy thought to meâwho raise more than vegetables; in fact, other than a few staple staples, they spend most of their resources raising livestock like cattle, pigs, and chicken.âOne thing that makes us different from humans is that we need almost twice as much protein in our daily diet,â she tells me. âWe donât get all of it from meat, of course. We actually eat a lot of eggs.ââDo you drink milk? A lot of humans doâĶfor the protein.âTala laughs. âNo, dear. Drinking the milk of another animal is disgusting. No offense, but weâve never understood why humans do that. Once our young wean from our milk, it is omitted from
Once I decide to hold a meetingâmy âUnification Councilââwith both packs to discuss the future, I clear the idea with Michael. It takes a little explaining, not necessarily because of prior distrust between the packs, but because packs are private.âTraditionally, when members of different packs mate, one member leaves their pack to join the other,â Michael explains. âThey may see other members of their family, but they are no longer members of their familyâs pack.âRita, who hasnât left Michaelâs side since his meeting with Alex, knows where Iâm going with my request. âThey wonât be able to do that,â she observes.I explain to Michael that this is exactly what our packs canât expect if Alex is going to inherit the Ayzena pack and I am the only remaining descendant of the Malkeyeâs Alpha. âWe will have to find a way to lead them bothâtogether.âHe immediately understands the issue and the need to get both packs on board. I discuss with him and Rita what Alex and I have in mind, Michae
The house is a mess because Iâve been in town visiting my mom for a few days. I knew it would be, which is why I returned early in the morning, so I could clean up before I had to begin my day.Things arenât exactly how I expected when I walk in. Yes, the house is a mess, but Alex is scrambling to clean up the kitchen. I drop my bag and look around at the array of clothes and shoes thrown around the living room.âHey, babeâĶ I really was going to have this cleaned up before you got home.ââI see that.âHe smiles at me and I canât help but forgive him. The problem is that he knows that, and someday that charm might run out. Except with my luck it wonât.âWhen are you leaving?ââIâm going to hang around a couple more days.ââThatâll be nice,â I say as I give him a hello kiss.Weâve been married for almost two years now, and even with our duties, I feel like weâre in our honeymoon stage. Iâm every bit as in love with him now as I was when we first mated, and I wouldnât change any part of
My senior year is a whirlwind. Iâm in all advanced classes and spend a lot of time studying. When I graduate, I will have a Bachelorâs of Creative Arts and Writing. That was my Epiphone. Just because Iâll be required to love among and lead my pack, doesnât mean I canât still express my creativity.In fact, my senior project is the play I began writing as a 17-year-old human with intense complexes and assassins on her heals. The story follows my own, sometimes a little too closely, but it seems like the perfect way to blend my two lives together.Alex is supportive. So is my pack. When I approach the Council with the idea of working on the side as a freelance writer, they are supportive so long as the pack and our home remains anonymous. I tell them I will work under a pen name, and when I release my first play, Furry Butterfly, I do so under a pseudonym.It turns out to be a success, and the money I receive allows me to conquer my first project as Luna.That summer, I officially join
Right before finals my freshman year, I receive the dreaded call. âItâs Michael,â Alex says. His breathing is loud, erratic. âHe passed away last night.âOf course, thereâs nothing I can do over the phone. I borrow Haileyâs car and leave that very night.When I get there, it is after dark and Alex is at Michaelâs house, sitting in the kitchen with Rita. When I walk in, itâs quiet. Theyâre not talking or doing anything aside from staring at the table.They look up at me and I see their sorrow. I run over to Alex and wrap my arms around him, absorbing his sobs of mourning as I cry into his shoulder.I hear Rita sniffle, and I let go long enough to cross the table and give her a hug. âIâm so sorry!â I whisper into her ear. âIâm so sorryâĶâThat night is when Alex and I take our physical relationship to another level. I wanted to make him feel better, if only for a little while.When we get back to his house, I follow him into his room and lock the door behind us. I donât care if his paren
I plan on visiting during my fall break. Mom thinks I have a trip for drama, so sheâs not expecting me. I hate lying to her, but it really is for her own good.The following week leading up to our opening night is stressful. The play only runs for two weekends, but everything has to be perfect for the first show. I scramble to make last-minute changes to costumes and learn a few lines that just donât seem to be sticking.Which is what makes opening night more stressful when Alex and Mom both show up with flowers. Talk about feeling lovedâĶand feeling the pressure to perform!Alex plants a big kiss on me and Hailey, who plays another one of the teens, oohâs and ahâs over us. So does Mom, and Iâm starting to wonder which one of us she likes more.Alex and Mom sit with Lenard through the show. I peek out from the back curtain to find their seats, so I know not to look there. I canât risk catching one of them smile at me and throwing me off. Tonight has to be perfect because Iâve worked so
The next day really is my birthday. Mom makes me a cake and we celebrate in the morning over coffee. Then we spend the day in Marona, a nearby hippie town with awesome shopping, and Mom splurges on a few new outfits for me to take to school.Iâve realized Iâm grateful for every moment. When I was at the Ayzena base I was grateful for their hospitality, when Iâm with Alex Iâm grateful for his love and attentionânot to mention his body! Now that Iâm with Mom, Iâm grateful I ended up with her. In spite of our hardships, Iâve realized she endured everything for my sake. Thereâs no greater love than that.And today is a great day. We share food and laughs in a way weâve never been able to before. It makes me determined to help take care of her when Iâm able, so we can spend more time like this when weâre together. Away from drama, having fun.Alex comes by later that day and brings me a present. He was sweet to give me the day alone with my mother, though it helps that I reminded him heâll
Over the next couple of days, things go back to normal. At least as normal as they can be now. Iâm not able to hide my appetite or my newfound desire for meat. I tell Mom it must be my hormones.The stutter is becoming difficult to hide, mostly because I donât want it anymore. Iâm finally free of the one thing that placed the wrong kind of spotlight on me and when I finally get the chance to be free of it, I have to fake it again.I just have to remind myself that itâs temporary.Alex and I meet Hailey and Lenard for a double date, and itâs like nothing has changed.Except Alex isnât shy about public displays of affection, though I wonder how much of it is a put-on for shock value. It works.We meet at the diner down the street from the school. As soon as I walk in, I can smell grease and meat, and my stomach starts to rumble. âI have to hide my appetite at home so Mom doesnât get suspicious,â I whisper to Alex, who canât help but cackle.I nudge him in his rock-hard belly. âItâs not
The ring of the doorbell startles me, rattling my nerves even though Iâm the one who rang it. The chime doesnât make it through two rounds before the door is open and Mom is gaping at us from inside.We stare at each other for a few seconds before either one of us moves, while Alex waits awkwardly behind me. I can smell fresh-baked cookies and cinnamon.Finally, Mom rushes through the door and wraps her arms around me. âOh my god!âHer body begins shaking with sobs, and I canât help but start crying. We stand there, holding each other and crying, for what feels like several minutes.When we finally break apart, Mom grabs my hand and pulls me in, using her other hand to wipe her face.Alex stands on the doorstep, not sure what to do. âNoâcome in Alex, please,â Mom says, ushering him in.Once she closes the door, Mom looks us over with a curious eye. âYou two lookâĶgood.âShe takes my hands again and grips them in hers. âYou lookâĶolder.âShe noticed! My mom doesnât disappoint. âI mean, I
With so much resolved, my time to leave finally arrives the following morning. I have to say, Iâm sad to go. I feel like Iâve found a place hereâĶand with the Malkeye pack. I never thought my life would turn out like this, but Iâm grateful for the turn of events.Alex decides to escort me back, so the most difficult goodbyes are with Michael and Rita. I feel like Iâve come to understand Rita and hope our connection can last the distance until I return. But I know I may never see Michael again.I hug Rita, who holds on a little longer and a little tighter than I expected. âYou know where to find me,â she says with a smile, but I know that I may not see her for a long time.I turn to Michael, unsure of what to say. âI am so glad my brother found his future with you,â Michael says as he embraces me. âYou are a strong female and I pray to the Great One that your union is blessed,â he adds after a light squeeze.I try really hard not to cry, but this moment feels so final.If Michael passes
Once I decide to hold a meetingâmy âUnification Councilââwith both packs to discuss the future, I clear the idea with Michael. It takes a little explaining, not necessarily because of prior distrust between the packs, but because packs are private.âTraditionally, when members of different packs mate, one member leaves their pack to join the other,â Michael explains. âThey may see other members of their family, but they are no longer members of their familyâs pack.âRita, who hasnât left Michaelâs side since his meeting with Alex, knows where Iâm going with my request. âThey wonât be able to do that,â she observes.I explain to Michael that this is exactly what our packs canât expect if Alex is going to inherit the Ayzena pack and I am the only remaining descendant of the Malkeyeâs Alpha. âWe will have to find a way to lead them bothâtogether.âHe immediately understands the issue and the need to get both packs on board. I discuss with him and Rita what Alex and I have in mind, Michae