As Ryan stalks toward me, the itch becomes unbearable. My skin feels like it’s been burned and is healing, peeling. I want to scratch at it. I want to scratch it off.The feeling becomes so intense—like my skin is burning from within.Ryan stops and watches, his grin apparent. He starts pacing from one side to the other. I don’t understand what he’s doing, but it’s so hard to think right now. I can’t track him while my body is changing.The unexpectedness and newness of it is difficult toAnd my rage returns! I don’t know what’s happening, but I want it to stop! I need to stop him! Aaaahhhh!!!!! This must be what it’s like to be consumed with anger.Now my skin is the least of my concerns. My bones begin shifting, painfully at first as my humerus and my femur elongate, stretching in a way not humanly possible.A growl rumbles deep in my chest and I throw my head back as my nose and jaw stretch out. My spine shifts and my shoulders begin popping. It’s painful, but in a glorious way.Al
It’s like time stops. The first time you kill someone, or some werewolf, I should say. It is a life-changing moment.I can taste blood in my mouth…and it’s good.Ryan’s body appears lifeless below me. I wait a few seconds before I let him go, waiting to make sure he’s dead. His body goes limp. He’s not breathing, and his heart has stopped. I can tell because I hear everything.When I finally dismount his corpse, I shake my body like a dog drying off after a bath. I feel all my muscles, the new structure of my bones and how they relate to each other, the sway of my fur. It all feels good. Somehow right.To think, I recently wished for the gifts of the werewolf—enhanced hearing, acute sight—and here I am, a werewolf after all.I walk over to where Alex is lying. The physical pull between us now unquestionable as my body vibrates within when I am this close to him. There is no mistaking it now: Our bodies are in tune.Alex’s eyes search mine. I wish I knew what he was thinking.He nuzzle
We’re greeted by the whole freaking pack!Apparently, Jeaoul and Lenor had already spread the word about what was going on. I’m sure the other pack members didn’t quite believe them, but they must certainly have been curious because a lot of them are standing at the entrance to the base.As we approach, I fall behind the others. I don’t exactly want to be the first to be questioned or interrogated.Plus, I’m sure they can tell I’m different now.Jeaoul approaches us with his wife and a couple of other pack Elders. “Where is Ryan?”“Defeated,” Charles calls out, his voice booming. “Our Alpha was defeated and now lies dead and in dishonor.”There are high-pitched murmurs among the group.I grow a little concerned at first, because I remember Jeaoul saying that no one believed them when they suspected Ryan’s treachery.Charles steps aside, still under Alex’s shoulder, revealing me. “Here is our long-lost Luna, Dyanthiana.”And the one who killed your Alpha. The murmurs grow to a loud cl
Once we’re done eating, everyone else joins us in the living room. They all gaze at me fondly, and I can’t imagine what this moment means for them. I lost my parents, but they lost a leader.A thought slips in and teases at me again: It’s like I’m royalty.“How are you feeling?” Charles asks from the doorway.“Better, thank you. I think Alex’s leg is healing up rather nicely,” I add, alluding to it with a nod.“Good. That’s all very good,” he says hastily.Jeaoul, who is seated in a much more comfortable, normal chair than the last one I saw him in, …. “How is our prisoner?”“What prisoner?” Alex asks.“We were able to subdue and capture the rogue that attack Dyanthiana.”At first, I forget this name is attached to me. “Oh…” I perk up. “Is he still alive?”“Yes, my Luna. To keep him from healing, he was forced to shift into human form.”I don’t know how that works, and right now I don’t really care.“We can question him when you’re ready,” Charles says to Jeaoul.Jeaoul looks at me. “
Lenor and Jeaoul prepare a bed for me in their home, and somehow scrounge together some clothes that fit me relatively well, even if they are a little loose.I take my first shower in probably three days, and after, I feel like a new woman. Yes…a woman. I’m not eighteen just yet, but I have grown since I left home. I have become a whole other person—a werewolf—and have attained a fresh identity.I sit in my room with my journal. I have so much material for my play now, but that isn’t my focus. I need to work out my thoughts. After all, so much has come to light in the past twenty-four hours. My parents are not who I thought they were, and one of them even tried to kill me. Then there’s the whole werewolf thing, and I’m not even some plain-jane one at that.It’s a lot to process, but now that my shock is wearing off, I can think about things rationally. The pack is going to expect me to stay and fulfill my duty. The wolf in me wants to, but I have a whole other life I can’t disappear f
When I walk out, I’m on cloud nine. Not as a Luna, or a werewolf of any sort, but as a teenage girl in love.And there is my boyfriend—my love—waiting for me, his hair a sexy mess and a feverish look in his eyes. As I walk toward him, a life together flashes before my eyes: Us getting older, having children, finding our way together…forever.I don’t know if it will be like that, but in the moment it’s the only thing I want to think about.He takes my hand, playfully swinging them back and forth as we walk to the outer perimeter. Then we take a turn into the woods. “I thought we could use some privacy,” Alex explains.“Whatever happened to the rogues? Did you find them?”“I don’t think we found all of them. There were thirteen there. But we left a message for any that returned.”“Do you think they’ll be a problem?”“Charles thinks they won’t be an issue now that Ryan is dead, and we’ve cleared their camp.”“I hope he’s right.”“Me, too.” He kisses me on the head. “Have you noticed…” Al
“Ahhh…” I exhale bliss when we stop. “Thank you, Alex.”“I know you need to go back to your mom soon, so I’ll do everything I can. But you will eventually have to come back to your pack.”“Yeah—I know. I just have to figure out how to do that. What to tell my mom and when to make that break.”“Just remember, I may not be able to go with you…at first.”“Oh, no—Michael!” How could I have forgotten? “Is there a cure for Wolfsbane?”“If there is, it probably died with the wolf that poisoned him.”“I’m ssso sorry.”“Yeah…we’ll deal with it when we get back. But I probably can’t go back home with you, to live anyway. The pack will be my home now.”Finally, this seems to be a good time to ask him about us. I need to know how he feels…what he thinks.“Where does that leave us?”“I’ve given this some thought. Once you turned, it all made sense: my attraction to you, my inability to leave you alone.”“But what about Rita?”“Yeah…about Rita.” He pauses to organize his thoughts. It’s almost like
We return to the base in time to go to my honorary dinner. Which is terrible.No—it’s actually very nice. Extremely thoughtful. It’s just awkward to be thrust into a position you know nothing about and to have to tell them you don’t intend to stay. At least not for now. If I can get my words together, I hope to be able to make them understand.When Alex and I enter the Meeting Hall, everyone is there. Tables have been set up with food, and my stomach growls at the thought of getting to slaughter some meat. Literally.Yeah, it’s weird for me.Everyone stops and looks at us. I smile, cordially, though I’m sure my face is red.Lenor comes to my rescue. She rushes over to me, takes my hand, and leads me to the other end of the table.I know from the last pack dinner I attended that the opposite end is where the leaders sit: the Alpha and his family.I see Rita on that end, along with two empty chairs.What I don’t see is an Alpha because there isn’t one. I’m afraid I know where they’re go
The house is a mess because I’ve been in town visiting my mom for a few days. I knew it would be, which is why I returned early in the morning, so I could clean up before I had to begin my day.Things aren’t exactly how I expected when I walk in. Yes, the house is a mess, but Alex is scrambling to clean up the kitchen. I drop my bag and look around at the array of clothes and shoes thrown around the living room.“Hey, babe… I really was going to have this cleaned up before you got home.”“I see that.”He smiles at me and I can’t help but forgive him. The problem is that he knows that, and someday that charm might run out. Except with my luck it won’t.“When are you leaving?”“I’m going to hang around a couple more days.”“That’ll be nice,” I say as I give him a hello kiss.We’ve been married for almost two years now, and even with our duties, I feel like we’re in our honeymoon stage. I’m every bit as in love with him now as I was when we first mated, and I wouldn’t change any part of
My senior year is a whirlwind. I’m in all advanced classes and spend a lot of time studying. When I graduate, I will have a Bachelor’s of Creative Arts and Writing. That was my Epiphone. Just because I’ll be required to love among and lead my pack, doesn’t mean I can’t still express my creativity.In fact, my senior project is the play I began writing as a 17-year-old human with intense complexes and assassins on her heals. The story follows my own, sometimes a little too closely, but it seems like the perfect way to blend my two lives together.Alex is supportive. So is my pack. When I approach the Council with the idea of working on the side as a freelance writer, they are supportive so long as the pack and our home remains anonymous. I tell them I will work under a pen name, and when I release my first play, Furry Butterfly, I do so under a pseudonym.It turns out to be a success, and the money I receive allows me to conquer my first project as Luna.That summer, I officially join
Right before finals my freshman year, I receive the dreaded call. “It’s Michael,” Alex says. His breathing is loud, erratic. “He passed away last night.”Of course, there’s nothing I can do over the phone. I borrow Hailey’s car and leave that very night.When I get there, it is after dark and Alex is at Michael’s house, sitting in the kitchen with Rita. When I walk in, it’s quiet. They’re not talking or doing anything aside from staring at the table.They look up at me and I see their sorrow. I run over to Alex and wrap my arms around him, absorbing his sobs of mourning as I cry into his shoulder.I hear Rita sniffle, and I let go long enough to cross the table and give her a hug. “I’m so sorry!” I whisper into her ear. “I’m so sorry…”That night is when Alex and I take our physical relationship to another level. I wanted to make him feel better, if only for a little while.When we get back to his house, I follow him into his room and lock the door behind us. I don’t care if his paren
I plan on visiting during my fall break. Mom thinks I have a trip for drama, so she’s not expecting me. I hate lying to her, but it really is for her own good.The following week leading up to our opening night is stressful. The play only runs for two weekends, but everything has to be perfect for the first show. I scramble to make last-minute changes to costumes and learn a few lines that just don’t seem to be sticking.Which is what makes opening night more stressful when Alex and Mom both show up with flowers. Talk about feeling loved…and feeling the pressure to perform!Alex plants a big kiss on me and Hailey, who plays another one of the teens, ooh’s and ah’s over us. So does Mom, and I’m starting to wonder which one of us she likes more.Alex and Mom sit with Lenard through the show. I peek out from the back curtain to find their seats, so I know not to look there. I can’t risk catching one of them smile at me and throwing me off. Tonight has to be perfect because I’ve worked so
The next day really is my birthday. Mom makes me a cake and we celebrate in the morning over coffee. Then we spend the day in Marona, a nearby hippie town with awesome shopping, and Mom splurges on a few new outfits for me to take to school.I’ve realized I’m grateful for every moment. When I was at the Ayzena base I was grateful for their hospitality, when I’m with Alex I’m grateful for his love and attention—not to mention his body! Now that I’m with Mom, I’m grateful I ended up with her. In spite of our hardships, I’ve realized she endured everything for my sake. There’s no greater love than that.And today is a great day. We share food and laughs in a way we’ve never been able to before. It makes me determined to help take care of her when I’m able, so we can spend more time like this when we’re together. Away from drama, having fun.Alex comes by later that day and brings me a present. He was sweet to give me the day alone with my mother, though it helps that I reminded him he’ll
Over the next couple of days, things go back to normal. At least as normal as they can be now. I’m not able to hide my appetite or my newfound desire for meat. I tell Mom it must be my hormones.The stutter is becoming difficult to hide, mostly because I don’t want it anymore. I’m finally free of the one thing that placed the wrong kind of spotlight on me and when I finally get the chance to be free of it, I have to fake it again.I just have to remind myself that it’s temporary.Alex and I meet Hailey and Lenard for a double date, and it’s like nothing has changed.Except Alex isn’t shy about public displays of affection, though I wonder how much of it is a put-on for shock value. It works.We meet at the diner down the street from the school. As soon as I walk in, I can smell grease and meat, and my stomach starts to rumble. “I have to hide my appetite at home so Mom doesn’t get suspicious,” I whisper to Alex, who can’t help but cackle.I nudge him in his rock-hard belly. “It’s not
The ring of the doorbell startles me, rattling my nerves even though I’m the one who rang it. The chime doesn’t make it through two rounds before the door is open and Mom is gaping at us from inside.We stare at each other for a few seconds before either one of us moves, while Alex waits awkwardly behind me. I can smell fresh-baked cookies and cinnamon.Finally, Mom rushes through the door and wraps her arms around me. “Oh my god!”Her body begins shaking with sobs, and I can’t help but start crying. We stand there, holding each other and crying, for what feels like several minutes.When we finally break apart, Mom grabs my hand and pulls me in, using her other hand to wipe her face.Alex stands on the doorstep, not sure what to do. “No—come in Alex, please,” Mom says, ushering him in.Once she closes the door, Mom looks us over with a curious eye. “You two look…good.”She takes my hands again and grips them in hers. “You look…older.”She noticed! My mom doesn’t disappoint. “I mean, I
With so much resolved, my time to leave finally arrives the following morning. I have to say, I’m sad to go. I feel like I’ve found a place here…and with the Malkeye pack. I never thought my life would turn out like this, but I’m grateful for the turn of events.Alex decides to escort me back, so the most difficult goodbyes are with Michael and Rita. I feel like I’ve come to understand Rita and hope our connection can last the distance until I return. But I know I may never see Michael again.I hug Rita, who holds on a little longer and a little tighter than I expected. “You know where to find me,” she says with a smile, but I know that I may not see her for a long time.I turn to Michael, unsure of what to say. “I am so glad my brother found his future with you,” Michael says as he embraces me. “You are a strong female and I pray to the Great One that your union is blessed,” he adds after a light squeeze.I try really hard not to cry, but this moment feels so final.If Michael passes
Once I decide to hold a meeting—my “Unification Council”—with both packs to discuss the future, I clear the idea with Michael. It takes a little explaining, not necessarily because of prior distrust between the packs, but because packs are private.“Traditionally, when members of different packs mate, one member leaves their pack to join the other,” Michael explains. “They may see other members of their family, but they are no longer members of their family’s pack.”Rita, who hasn’t left Michael’s side since his meeting with Alex, knows where I’m going with my request. “They won’t be able to do that,” she observes.I explain to Michael that this is exactly what our packs can’t expect if Alex is going to inherit the Ayzena pack and I am the only remaining descendant of the Malkeye’s Alpha. “We will have to find a way to lead them both—together.”He immediately understands the issue and the need to get both packs on board. I discuss with him and Rita what Alex and I have in mind, Michae